1
00:00:07,215 --> 00:00:09,717
That was the 10th time I've peed
since I've been here.

2
00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:12,970
It's also, like, the 10th time
you've told us. Ha, ha.

3
00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:15,514
Yeah, oh, I'm sorry,
it must be hard to hear.

4
00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:17,766
I'll tell you, it's easier
having babies playing...

5
00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:21,311
..."Bring in 'da Noise, Bring in 'da Funk"
on your bladder.

6
00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:24,982
I am so sick of being pregnant.

7
00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:27,276
The only happiness I get
is from a cup of coffee...

8
00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:30,571
...which of course is decaf
because, oh, I'm pregnant. Heh.

9
00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:34,783
Pheebs, you want a cookie?

10
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:38,996
Thank you so much.

11
00:00:40,665 --> 00:00:44,460
So, uh, Pheebs, honey,
how are those mood swings coming?

12
00:00:45,628 --> 00:00:47,212
I haven't really had any yet.

13
00:01:40,683 --> 00:01:41,934
- Hey, guys.
BOTH: Hey.

14
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:44,978
All right. Here's the ring.

15
00:01:45,146 --> 00:01:48,232
Yes, yes. A thousand times, yes.

16
00:01:49,734 --> 00:01:52,111
So, uh, any ideas for the bachelor party?

17
00:01:52,278 --> 00:01:53,612
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

18
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:56,406
Before you start handing out rings
and planning bachelor parties...

19
00:01:56,574 --> 00:01:59,409
...don't you have to decide
who your best man's gonna be?

20
00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:02,371
Oh, it's awkward. It's awkward,
it's awkward.

21
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,457
I sort of already asked Chandler.

22
00:02:06,584 --> 00:02:09,002
What? He got to do it
at your first wedding.

23
00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:12,422
Joey, I figured you'd understand.
I've known him a lot longer.

24
00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:16,635
Come on, Ross. I don't have any brothers.
I'm never gonna get to be a best man.

25
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:18,595
You can be the best man
when I get married.

26
00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:22,558
I'm never gonna get to be a best man.

27
00:02:24,018 --> 00:02:25,102
Wait, wait.

28
00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:29,356
So you get to be my best man twice,
and I don't get to be yours at all?

29
00:02:30,441 --> 00:02:34,444
Oh, no. Yeah, of course,
you can be my best man.

30
00:02:38,074 --> 00:02:39,867
What about me? You just said I could.

31
00:02:40,034 --> 00:02:41,702
I'm not even getting married!

32
00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:45,038
Okay, this is a question
for science-fiction writers.

33
00:02:45,206 --> 00:02:47,040
I can't believe you're not picking me.

34
00:02:47,208 --> 00:02:49,793
- Hey, how could it not be me?
- I'm not even...

35
00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:52,087
- I'm not even...
- All right, you know what? That's it.

36
00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:55,174
From now on,
Joey I want you to be my best man.

37
00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:58,844
Yes. Shame about you, though.

38
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,684
- Stop it.
- What?

39
00:03:06,102 --> 00:03:07,811
One of the babies is kicking.

40
00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:10,564
- I thought that was a good thing.
- It's not kicking me.

41
00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:12,191
It's kicking one of the other babies.

42
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:16,570
Oh. Don't make me come in there!

43
00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:19,531
- Hey.
MONICA: Hey.

44
00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:21,658
Do you guys have, like,
a big bowl I can borrow?

45
00:03:21,826 --> 00:03:23,744
Yeah, there's one
right under the cabinet.

46
00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:25,412
- Thanks.
- Why do you need it?

47
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:27,873
Oh, we're having a party tomorrow night.
Later.

48
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,667
Hey, hey.
Are you planning on inviting us?

49
00:03:30,835 --> 00:03:33,212
No. No, no. Later.

50
00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:36,048
Hey, get your ass back here, Tribbiani!

51
00:03:39,844 --> 00:03:40,969
Hormones.

52
00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:43,263
What Phoebe meant was...

53
00:03:43,431 --> 00:03:45,724
...how come you're having a party
and we're not invited?

54
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:48,101
Oh. It's Ross' bachelor party.

55
00:03:48,269 --> 00:03:50,312
- So?
- Are you bachelors?

56
00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:54,274
- No.
- Are you strippers?

57
00:03:55,693 --> 00:03:58,445
- No.
- Then you're not invited.

58
00:03:58,613 --> 00:04:02,032
All right, fine. You're not invited
to the party that we're gonna have either.

59
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,451
Oh, what party?

60
00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:07,204
Well, um...

61
00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:09,539
The baby shower for Phoebe.

62
00:04:09,707 --> 00:04:10,749
Baby shower?

63
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:14,878
Wow. That so doesn't sound
like something I want to do. Later.

64
00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:19,174
I can't believe I'm going to have a party!

65
00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:22,594
Ha, ha. That's so great. A party!

66
00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:24,638
Yay! Ha, ha.

67
00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:29,184
[CRYING]

68
00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:33,063
- I don't know why.
- Oh.

69
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:37,359
This is what I got going
for the party so far liquor-wise.

70
00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:40,153
- Get a lot of liquor.
- Great. Great.

71
00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:44,324
Okay, now, uh, in terms of the invite list,
obviously I got you, me and Chandler.

72
00:04:44,575 --> 00:04:47,828
And I'm invite Gunther because,
well, we've been talking pretty loud.

73
00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:49,496
I'll be there.

74
00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:52,249
Oh, listen. I know it's your party...

75
00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:55,669
...but I'd really like to limit the number
of museum geeks that are gonna be there.

76
00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:59,006
Yeah. Tell you what.
Let's not invite any anthropologists, okay?

77
00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:01,800
Just the dinosaur dudes.

78
00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:07,556
Okay, we'll need a six-pack of Zima.

79
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,600
Hey, guys, what are you doing?

80
00:05:10,768 --> 00:05:15,063
Oh, just planning my bachelor party
with my best man.

81
00:05:15,231 --> 00:05:17,649
Yeah, well, good luck trying to top
the last one.

82
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:21,236
I don't think it's gonna be that difficult,
considering this one won't take place...

83
00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:23,947
...in the basement of a Pizza Hut. Heh.

84
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,074
Oh, I'm Ross, I'm Ross.

85
00:05:26,242 --> 00:05:28,785
I'm too good for the Hut.
I'm too good for the Hut.

86
00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:33,206
Look, I gotta go pick up Ben.
Uh, everything so far sounds great, Joey.

87
00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:35,334
Just remember,
keep it on the mellow side, okay?

88
00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:37,586
Just a couple guys
hanging out playing poker.

89
00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:40,297
- No strippers or anything, okay?
- You got it.

90
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,549
- Okay, see you later.
- Yeah.

91
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:46,595
Ha, ha. Have fun planning
your mellow party.

92
00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:49,056
There's gonna be strippers there.

93
00:05:49,223 --> 00:05:51,558
He didn't say anything
about no strippers.

94
00:05:54,228 --> 00:05:57,564
- He just said, "No strippers."
- Oh. I chose not to hear that.

95
00:05:59,984 --> 00:06:02,736
Look what I got, look what I got,
look what I got.

96
00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:05,906
RACHEL:
Oh.

97
00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:10,160
Can you believe they made these
for little people?

98
00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:12,371
Aw. Little Village People.

99
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:19,461
Aw, okay. Look at this one.
This is my favorite.

100
00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:21,963
Oh, that is so sweet.

101
00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:25,133
Phoebe's gonna love
dressing them in these.

102
00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:30,680
Huh. Except, uh, Phoebe's not gonna be
the one who gets to dress them.

103
00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:34,810
I guess she's not gonna get
to keep the babies.

104
00:06:34,977 --> 00:06:39,272
Oh, my God, we are throwing
the most depressing baby shower.

105
00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:40,607
[GASPS]

106
00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:43,777
Wait a minute. Unless we give her all gifts
that she can use...

107
00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:47,823
...after she's done being pregnant.
Like, um, regular coffee. Tequila.

108
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:51,034
Oh, and somebody can get her those
leather pants she's always wanted.

109
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:52,786
Oh, she's gonna love that.

110
00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:54,538
What the hell is this?

111
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,458
You actually thought
it'd make me feel better?

112
00:06:58,626 --> 00:07:02,087
To give me something
I can't even use for another two months?

113
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,880
This sucks! Oh!

114
00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:08,135
All right, what's my next present?

115
00:07:08,302 --> 00:07:10,554
[ALL CHATTERING]

116
00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:14,474
Hey, listen, man, about the stripper...

117
00:07:14,642 --> 00:07:16,143
- Yeah?
- Good call.

118
00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:21,148
A little announcement.
A little announcement.

119
00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:25,777
I've decided that my best man
is my best friend Gunther.

120
00:07:28,197 --> 00:07:30,240
What's my last name?

121
00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:33,076
Central Perk?

122
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:37,539
GUNTHER:
Thanks for not marrying Rachel.

123
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,876
Oh, hey, Gunther.
Don't forget your shirt.

124
00:07:41,502 --> 00:07:43,128
Hey. Hey, what are those?

125
00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:45,755
Little party favors. Check it out.

126
00:07:45,923 --> 00:07:47,841
Wow, yeah.

127
00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:50,051
Oh, oh, oh!

128
00:07:50,219 --> 00:07:51,720
Aw.

129
00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:54,055
Okay, little announcement.

130
00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:58,059
Just want everybody to know
the position of my best man is still open.

131
00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:02,272
And, uh, you know,
so is the position of the bride.

132
00:08:03,524 --> 00:08:04,900
Great.

133
00:08:05,401 --> 00:08:08,570
Smooth, man.
Yeah. You got some chili on your neck.

134
00:08:12,241 --> 00:08:15,702
Well, I just want to say thanks, everyone.
This was great.

135
00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:18,413
Okay? And hey, I'll see you guys
Monday morning.

136
00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:23,585
- Thanks, Joey.
- Oh, hey. Don't forget your shirt.

137
00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:24,961
Oh, thanks.

138
00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:30,884
Ahem. Okay. Hey, museum geeks.
Party's over.

139
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:34,513
Okay, wave bye-bye to the nice lady.
There you go.

140
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:37,974
Back to your parents' basement.
All right.

141
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:43,897
Come on, boys, come on out.
Here you go.

142
00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:46,942
Oh. Look at the birdies.

143
00:08:47,109 --> 00:08:48,735
- Are those yours?
- Yeah.

144
00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:51,738
Wow, I didn't know they let you keep
chickens and ducks as pets?

145
00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:54,533
Oh, yeah, yeah.
And I got the duck totally trained too.

146
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:57,619
Watch this. Stare at the wall.

147
00:08:58,746 --> 00:09:00,372
Hardly move.

148
00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:03,208
Be white.

149
00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:07,379
You are really good at that.

150
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,673
- Oh.
- So I had fun tonight.

151
00:09:10,174 --> 00:09:11,841
You throw one hell of a party.

152
00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:13,927
Thanks, thanks.
Yeah, it was great meeting you.

153
00:09:14,136 --> 00:09:18,974
And listen, if any of my friends ever get
married or have a birthday or a Tuesday...

154
00:09:19,141 --> 00:09:21,476
- Yeah, that'd be great.
- Okay. Ha, ha.

155
00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:25,063
So, I guess, um, good night.

156
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:28,775
Oh, unless you, uh...
Unless you want to hang around.

157
00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:32,487
- Yeah?
- Yeah. I'll let you play with my duck.

158
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:34,864
[QUACKING]

159
00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:46,668
Hey...

160
00:09:49,338 --> 00:09:51,047
Stripper.

161
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,981
The stripper stole the ring!

162
00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:11,943
Chandler, get up, get up!
The stripper stole the ring!

163
00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:14,070
- What?
- The ring is gone!

164
00:10:14,238 --> 00:10:19,117
Oh. Okay, just, like, give me a minute
to wake up for this.

165
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:20,577
[LAUGHING]

166
00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:24,706
You lost the ring.
You're the worst best man ever.

167
00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:28,043
Dude, this isn't funny.
What am I gonna do?

168
00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:30,170
I go to sleep last night,
everything's cool.

169
00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:33,381
I wake up this morning, the stripper's gone,
and the ring is gone!

170
00:10:33,549 --> 00:10:35,508
- You slept with the stripper?
- Of course!

171
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:39,471
Hi, guys.

172
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,057
BOTH:
Hi, Phoebe.

173
00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:47,395
Ahem. I wanted to apologize if I, you know,
seemed a tad edgy yesterday...

174
00:10:47,563 --> 00:10:49,230
...at my shower.

175
00:10:49,523 --> 00:10:51,399
You know, it's just the hormones.
You know?

176
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:53,985
- No, we... Hormones. Yeah.
- Hormones.

177
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:57,238
Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you.
It was just... It was so sweet.

178
00:10:57,448 --> 00:10:59,991
- Oh, okay.
PHOEBE: So sweet.

179
00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:04,746
RACHEL: Yeah.
- Wow, you seem to be doing much better.

180
00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:08,208
- That's great. How are things going?
- Good.

181
00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:11,711
No, but... Okay, it feels like everything's
been about me lately.

182
00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:13,463
So, what's happening with you?

183
00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:18,259
Oh. Well, actually, we were just talking
about me not going to Ross' wedding.

184
00:11:18,427 --> 00:11:19,969
- Oh.
- It just might be too hard...

185
00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:22,555
...given the history and all that.

186
00:11:22,723 --> 00:11:26,893
Wow, this reminds me of the time
when I was, um, living on the street.

187
00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:30,897
And this guy offered to buy me food
if I slept with him.

188
00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:35,777
Well, how is this like that?

189
00:11:35,986 --> 00:11:40,031
Well, let's see. It's not really like that.

190
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:42,826
Because, you see,
that was an actual problem.

191
00:11:42,993 --> 00:11:46,454
And, uh, yours is just, like, a bunch
of high-school crap...

192
00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:49,332
...that nobody really gives... Yeah.

193
00:11:54,630 --> 00:11:56,673
Well, I'm sorry. I just thought...

194
00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:59,008
All right, here come the waterworks.

195
00:12:01,011 --> 00:12:02,512
Oh. I don't know what I'm gonna do.

196
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:05,181
I called the company that sent her,
and they don't care.

197
00:12:05,349 --> 00:12:07,434
And I called 911 and they yelled at me.

198
00:12:07,601 --> 00:12:09,519
If this isn't an emergency, then what is?

199
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,815
- Hey, guys.
BOTH: Hey.

200
00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:17,902
I just wanted to thank you for last night.
What a great party.

201
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:19,821
And the guys from work had a blast.

202
00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:23,074
You know, one of them had never been
to a bachelor party before.

203
00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:27,287
Yeah, and another one had never been
to a party before, so...

204
00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:31,458
So, uh, hey, that wedding ring, huh?

205
00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:35,211
- Man, that is nice.
- Yeah. Yeah, right?

206
00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:38,882
Yeah, I was thinking I might pick one
of those babies up for myself.

207
00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:41,760
Where might one get one of those?

208
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:46,097
That ring, when my grandmother
first came to this country...

209
00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:50,560
...that ring and the clothes on her back
were all she had with her.

210
00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:57,108
So you might say
that the ring is irreplaceable.

211
00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:01,196
Oh, absolutely.
It's been in my family for generations.

212
00:13:01,363 --> 00:13:05,366
And every bride who's worn it
has lived a long and happy life.

213
00:13:05,534 --> 00:13:09,245
So you might say it's a magic ring.

214
00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:12,999
[BOTH LAUGHING]

215
00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:16,377
Yeah, the stripper stole it.

216
00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:19,964
My ring? My wedding ring?

217
00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:23,843
The stripper stole my wedding ring?

218
00:13:24,011 --> 00:13:26,262
How? How could this happen?

219
00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:30,642
Well, I think it all started when you said,
"Hey, Joey, why don't you be my best man."

220
00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:35,730
All right, all right. Fine.
I'm gonna call the cops.

221
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:39,317
Dude, I screwed up.
You don't have to turn me in.

222
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:43,488
- Not on you, on the stripper.
- Oh, yeah, well, I already did that.

223
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:47,075
They said they're gonna look into it
right after they solve all the murders...

224
00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:50,203
Okay, we'll call the company
that sent her.

225
00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:51,538
I did that too.

226
00:13:51,705 --> 00:13:53,623
They wouldn't give me
her name or number.

227
00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:56,042
They said if I bother them again,
they'd call the police.

228
00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:59,254
I said, "You talk to the police,
you tell them I'm missing a ring."

229
00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:03,675
So, what, Joey? What are you telling me?
That there's nothing we can do?

230
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:09,138
- How could this happen?
- Look, Ross, I am so, so sorry.

231
00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:15,353
Well, what if we just, uh, called her...

232
00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:18,523
...used a fake name
and had her come to my office?

233
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:22,360
Oh, that sounds like fun,
but we got a ring to find!

234
00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:31,077
Here's your tea, Phoebe.

235
00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:39,085
Mm. It's so good.

236
00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:41,546
Oh, thanks. That's sweet.

237
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:44,674
- Good.
- So glad you like it.

238
00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:46,259
- Oh.
BOTH: What?

239
00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:48,261
What? She made the tea.

240
00:14:49,847 --> 00:14:52,473
No, I think I just had a contraction.

241
00:14:52,641 --> 00:14:53,683
- You what?
- My God.

242
00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:56,144
Yeah, I thought I felt one
a couple minutes ago.

243
00:14:56,312 --> 00:15:00,189
- And now I know that definitely was one.
- Well, you can't have the baby here!

244
00:15:00,357 --> 00:15:02,901
I haven't sterilized the apartment
since the guys moved out!

245
00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:04,527
It's okay. We're gonna be okay.

246
00:15:04,695 --> 00:15:08,948
You know what? It's okay. I'm gonna boil
some water and just rip up some sheets.

247
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:12,243
Ow, it's all right.
It's probably false labor.

248
00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:14,746
They said that, that can happen
near the end. So just...

249
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,706
- Somebody get the book.
- Rachel, get the book.

250
00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:20,418
The book. Okay. Okay. Here.

251
00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:23,254
- The Bible?
- I don't know!

252
00:15:28,802 --> 00:15:30,261
All right. Okay, okay. This is great.

253
00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:32,597
Uh, Chandler, you get behind the desk.

254
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:36,267
And when she comes in, hopefully
she won't recognize you because...

255
00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:38,061
Well, why would she?

256
00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:41,022
Uh, okay. And then you buzz Ross and I.

257
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:45,026
You be Mr. Gonzales,
and I'll be Mr. Wong.

258
00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:48,071
Diverse.

259
00:15:48,405 --> 00:15:49,572
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

260
00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:52,742
STRIPPER:
Anybody call for security?

261
00:15:53,535 --> 00:15:55,787
You be cool.

262
00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:04,504
Okay. Which one of you guys
is Gunther Central Perk?

263
00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:07,465
Hey, Joey.

264
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:11,678
Where's my ring? My dead grandmother's
wedding ring! Where is it? Where is it?

265
00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:15,431
Way to be cool, man.

266
00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:17,934
- What's he talking about?
- Oh!

267
00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:20,436
There was a ring in a box
on my nightstand.

268
00:16:20,604 --> 00:16:22,230
After you left, it was gone.

269
00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:24,524
Wait, you guys think I stole some ring?

270
00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:26,025
[IN UNISON]
Yeah.

271
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:30,488
We know you took it!
So just save yourself the time and confess.

272
00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:32,407
Okay, Who are you, the Hardy Boys?

273
00:16:32,574 --> 00:16:33,700
[BOTH SCOFFING]

274
00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:38,371
I don't need to steal some stupid ring.

275
00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:41,082
I make $1,600 a week doing what I do.

276
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:43,167
Any of you guys make that?

277
00:16:44,253 --> 00:16:45,586
Marry me.

278
00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:52,802
I don't get it. It was in my room all night.
If she didn't take it...

279
00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:56,305
...and I didn't take it and you didn't take it.
Then who did?

280
00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:57,890
[DUCK QUACKING]

281
00:16:58,225 --> 00:17:00,810
Shh. We're trying to think.

282
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:17,452
I still don't get how you know
when it's false labor.

283
00:17:17,619 --> 00:17:19,120
Well, do you see any babies?

284
00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:24,959
- How do you feel?
- Okay, I guess. I mean...

285
00:17:25,335 --> 00:17:27,211
I don't know.

286
00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:30,506
I guess I know it's going
to be over soon so...

287
00:17:30,674 --> 00:17:32,091
But isn't that a good thing?

288
00:17:32,259 --> 00:17:37,180
- I mean, you said you were sick of this.
- I know.

289
00:17:37,347 --> 00:17:40,141
It's just usually, when you're done
with the pregnant thing...

290
00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:42,685
...then you get to do the mom thing.

291
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:49,484
I'm gonna be, you know, sitting around
in my leather pants, drinking tequila.

292
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:53,863
Some moms do that.

293
00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:56,074
Yeah, that's even sadder.

294
00:17:57,576 --> 00:18:01,788
Look, I know what I got myself into,
you know?

295
00:18:01,955 --> 00:18:06,375
It's just that now that they're in me,
it's like...

296
00:18:06,835 --> 00:18:09,420
It's like I know them, you know, and...

297
00:18:11,173 --> 00:18:14,926
It just not gonna be easy when, you know,
these little babies have to go away.

298
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,637
Oh. I know, sweetie.

299
00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:20,056
But it's not like
you're not gonna have anything.

300
00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:22,225
I mean, you're gonna have
nieces and nephews.

301
00:18:22,392 --> 00:18:23,935
In some ways, that's even better.

302
00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:27,021
- Yeah, okay.
- No, really.

303
00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:28,439
Really, Pheebs.

304
00:18:28,607 --> 00:18:32,026
I mean, you're not gonna be the one
worrying about saving for college.

305
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:34,779
Or yelling at them when they're bad.

306
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:36,823
You know?
Or deciding to put them on Ritalin...

307
00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:38,699
...when they just won't calm down.

308
00:18:39,701 --> 00:18:40,701
You know?

309
00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:43,830
You're gonna be the one they come to
when they run away from home.

310
00:18:43,997 --> 00:18:45,790
And the one they talk to about sex.

311
00:18:45,999 --> 00:18:48,167
You just get to be cool Aunt Phoebe.

312
00:18:50,587 --> 00:18:52,588
Cool Aunt Phoebe.

313
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:54,382
I am pretty cool.

314
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:56,050
Oh.

315
00:18:56,218 --> 00:19:00,680
Yeah, and you know what else?
Oh, my God, are they going to love you.

316
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,891
- They are going to love me.
- Oh!

317
00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:07,395
- Thanks, you guys. Again.
BOTH: Aw.

318
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:09,981
Oh, sweetie.

319
00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:14,110
- Thanks. Oh!
BOTH: What? Oh, God.

320
00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:15,778
Just kidding.

321
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:18,197
- Ah!
- Oh, my God.

322
00:19:18,365 --> 00:19:20,283
Got you again. You're so easy.

323
00:19:24,454 --> 00:19:28,583
- If anything should happen to him...
- Joey, the vet said it's a simple procedure.

324
00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:32,503
So? Things can go wrong. You don't know.
What if he doesn't make it?

325
00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:35,590
- He will, Joe.
- Yeah, but what if he doesn't?

326
00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:37,884
He's such a good duck.

327
00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:19,342
I'm so worried about him.

328
00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:22,720
- Somebody lose a ring?
- Aah!

329
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:26,307
Oh, my God.
Thank you. Thank you so much. Aah!

330
00:20:29,853 --> 00:20:31,395
How's the duck?

331
00:20:31,563 --> 00:20:33,481
He's doing just fine.
You'll see him in a bit.

332
00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:35,107
- Oh.
- Great.

333
00:20:35,275 --> 00:20:38,027
Oh, hey, listen, Ross,
thanks for being so cool about this.

334
00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:40,279
- No, that's all right.
- No, it's not.

335
00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:43,783
I mean, you made me your best man
and I totally let you down.

336
00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:46,285
- Hey, come on. It's not your fault.
- Yeah, it is.

337
00:20:46,453 --> 00:20:48,746
You wouldn't have lost the ring, right?

338
00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:51,624
You know what?
Ross, you were right from the start.

339
00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:53,918
- He should be your best man.
- No, you should.

340
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:56,045
- Look, don't argue with me.
- Hey, hey, hey.

341
00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:58,047
I get to choose my best man.

342
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,592
I want both you guys.

343
00:21:03,178 --> 00:21:04,887
BOTH:
Really?

344
00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:08,724
Both you guys should be
up there with me.

345
00:21:08,892 --> 00:21:10,393
I mean, you two are my...

346
00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:15,356
I mean, I'm lucky to have just one good...

347
00:21:17,192 --> 00:21:19,068
Well, thanks, man.

348
00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:23,281
[SOBBING]
I got to go check something, okay?

349
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,871
- What a baby.
- Total wuss.

350
00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:14,749
[English - US - SDH]