1 00:00:02,246 --> 00:00:04,746 And, as we make our way out of the gourmet kitchen, 2 00:00:04,746 --> 00:00:07,646 we find ourselves back in the warm embrace of the parlor. 3 00:00:07,646 --> 00:00:09,246 Easy ***. It's just one room, not *** Park. 4 00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:11,812 Where'd you get all this sweet furniture? 5 00:00:11,813 --> 00:00:14,145 Oh, we rented it to make the house feel more comfortable and inviting. 6 00:00:14,146 --> 00:00:15,925 Don't sit there! Oh, my gosh. 7 00:00:15,926 --> 00:00:18,598 It took me 20 minutes to get these chops just right. 8 00:00:18,916 --> 00:00:19,990 There. Does that look straight? 9 00:00:19,991 --> 00:00:21,662 Nothing about that looks straight. 10 00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:24,091 I love the house. It's beautiful. 11 00:00:24,092 --> 00:00:25,255 Here is a tree. 12 00:00:25,256 --> 00:00:26,247 It's a pachira, 13 00:00:26,248 --> 00:00:28,685 a Taiwanese symbol of good financial fortune. 14 00:00:28,874 --> 00:00:30,010 It's also known as a money tree. 15 00:00:30,011 --> 00:00:31,240 That makes two of us. 16 00:00:31,241 --> 00:00:33,607 Well, I would like to propose a toast. 17 00:00:35,534 --> 00:00:36,574 Mm. Missed me. 18 00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:39,055 To the hard work of Claire and Cameron-- 19 00:00:39,056 --> 00:00:41,106 or as I like to call them, "Clameron"... oh! 20 00:00:41,107 --> 00:00:43,108 Which is what potential home buyers will be doing 21 00:00:43,109 --> 00:00:44,629 when they see this place. 22 00:00:44,630 --> 00:00:45,830 Clamorin'. 23 00:00:47,596 --> 00:00:50,213 - Clamoring t-to buy it f-- - Phil, don't go back for it. 24 00:00:50,622 --> 00:00:53,622 Because this house is going to sell. 25 00:00:53,771 --> 00:00:55,470 Who's the best realtor in town? 26 00:00:55,471 --> 00:00:56,643 - Gil Thorpe. - That's right, 27 00:00:56,644 --> 00:00:58,632 - and he has buyers coming over tomorrow. - That's right. 28 00:00:58,633 --> 00:01:00,073 Wow! All right. 29 00:01:00,074 --> 00:01:02,333 To Claire and Cam. 30 00:01:02,334 --> 00:01:04,407 My sister. My partner. 31 00:01:04,549 --> 00:01:06,498 My sister! My partner! My sister! My partner! 32 00:01:06,499 --> 00:01:08,526 - "Chinatown." Hilarious. - Still empty. 33 00:01:08,527 --> 00:01:09,543 Okay, you know you're my ride. 34 00:01:09,544 --> 00:01:11,255 - To Clameron! - Here, here. 35 00:01:11,256 --> 00:01:12,325 - Cheers. - Speech! 36 00:01:12,326 --> 00:01:14,497 Oh! Well, gosh, I wasn't prepared for this. 37 00:01:14,498 --> 00:01:15,531 I...I think we should just really thank the people-- 38 00:01:15,532 --> 00:01:17,814 - Here's to the best construction crew in the business. - Okay. Okay. 39 00:01:17,815 --> 00:01:20,070 Hank. Luis. Paco! 40 00:01:20,523 --> 00:01:22,154 Wish you could be here right now, buddy. 41 00:01:22,155 --> 00:01:22,889 What? Did he die? 42 00:01:22,890 --> 00:01:24,135 No, he's on the roof, fixing a shingle 43 00:01:24,136 --> 00:01:25,718 that he should've gotten right the first time. 44 00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:27,944 - I guess the most important people-- - And then to my partner. - Yes. 45 00:01:27,945 --> 00:01:29,586 My lifelong companion. 46 00:01:29,897 --> 00:01:30,929 - My lovah. - Aw. 47 00:01:31,209 --> 00:01:32,239 - Mm. - Okay, Cam. - Oh. 48 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:35,080 Who had his doubts about this project the whole time, 49 00:01:35,081 --> 00:01:37,687 and never, even in my darkest moment, 50 00:01:37,688 --> 00:01:38,949 - said "I told you so." - Oh. 51 00:01:38,950 --> 00:01:40,525 Which is good because he would've been wrong. 52 00:01:40,683 --> 00:01:42,052 - Very gracious. - Okay. 53 00:01:42,053 --> 00:01:44,411 And I'm sure that the house is gonna sell in no time. 54 00:01:44,412 --> 00:01:45,400 Hey! 55 00:01:45,401 --> 00:01:47,236 - Hear, hear. - Yeah! 56 00:01:47,237 --> 00:01:49,418 Hey, I've got a friend who wants to buy a house. 57 00:01:49,419 --> 00:01:51,315 Maybe I can show it to him after school. 58 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,425 Then if he buys it, I'd get the commission. 59 00:01:53,426 --> 00:01:54,191 What would that be? 60 00:01:54,192 --> 00:01:55,419 - Adorable. - Oh! 61 00:01:55,420 --> 00:01:57,465 I'm serious. And I'm not adorable. 62 00:01:57,466 --> 00:01:58,882 I'm getting a mustache. 63 00:02:01,370 --> 00:02:03,198 I know my A-B-C's. 64 00:02:03,199 --> 00:02:05,397 Wow. I guess things weren't about you for a second. 65 00:02:05,398 --> 00:02:07,297 - Okay, wrapping this up. - Yeah. 66 00:02:07,298 --> 00:02:09,352 To the fastest sale in real estate history. 67 00:02:09,353 --> 00:02:11,030 - Yes! - Bravo! 68 00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:13,279 Seriously, it's bad luck to toast with an empty glass. 69 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:25,860 70 00:02:26,402 --> 00:02:27,754 Dunphy, I'm not gonna lie to you. 71 00:02:28,015 --> 00:02:30,538 You guys did a nice job on the house. My buyer wants in. 72 00:02:30,539 --> 00:02:33,243 Fantastic! That is great news! 73 00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:34,790 You know, when we first got into this-- 74 00:02:34,791 --> 00:02:36,280 Whoa, the small talk's over. 75 00:02:36,318 --> 00:02:37,584 Here's what we're prepared to offer. 76 00:02:37,585 --> 00:02:38,626 You're joking, right? 77 00:02:38,627 --> 00:02:40,051 I don't joke about real estate. 78 00:02:40,663 --> 00:02:43,439 I joke about golf and Mexicans. 79 00:02:43,610 --> 00:02:45,140 It's okay, though. I'm married to one. 80 00:02:45,141 --> 00:02:46,251 W-we're not gonna take this. 81 00:02:46,252 --> 00:02:47,233 It's the first day on the market. 82 00:02:47,234 --> 00:02:49,271 - We'd barely break even. - Take it. 83 00:02:49,929 --> 00:02:50,617 No. 84 00:02:50,618 --> 00:02:52,492 - The market's crashing! - Nuh-unh. 85 00:02:52,493 --> 00:02:53,535 You're in over your head. 86 00:02:53,536 --> 00:02:54,625 Maybe you're in over your head. 87 00:02:54,626 --> 00:02:55,866 Dunphy, listen to me. 88 00:02:56,063 --> 00:02:58,398 If you pass up on this, you're gonna regret it. 89 00:02:58,399 --> 00:03:01,606 I don't know the meaning of the word "regret." 90 00:03:01,607 --> 00:03:04,055 Here we go. French toast, double bacon. 91 00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:05,586 Egg whites, dry toast. 92 00:03:05,587 --> 00:03:06,555 Damn it. 93 00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:08,870 Let me tell you something, Gil. 94 00:03:08,871 --> 00:03:10,264 You may be top dog, 95 00:03:10,265 --> 00:03:12,016 but you're the one who's gonna have regrets, 96 00:03:12,084 --> 00:03:14,702 'cause this house is gonna sell like... that. 97 00:03:18,457 --> 00:03:19,360 Well... 98 00:03:21,073 --> 00:03:22,616 that's it for today. 99 00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:24,739 We're going to die in this house. 100 00:03:24,740 --> 00:03:26,504 Oh, the pillows have lost their fluff. 101 00:03:26,505 --> 00:03:29,033 The pillows are not the problem! 102 00:03:33,438 --> 00:03:35,437 It's okay, Manny. I'll see you in a minute. 103 00:03:35,438 --> 00:03:38,870 Yes, I'll be polite and I'll be nice. I promise. 104 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,677 I'm going to kill him. 105 00:03:40,678 --> 00:03:41,859 What'd Javier do this time? 106 00:03:41,860 --> 00:03:43,846 His one big weekend alone with his son, 107 00:03:43,847 --> 00:03:45,082 and I just found out 108 00:03:45,083 --> 00:03:47,578 that he brought his latest bimbo along. 109 00:03:47,579 --> 00:03:49,076 He always does this. 110 00:03:49,077 --> 00:03:52,107 You remember that time that he took Manny and that stripper fishing? 111 00:03:52,108 --> 00:03:53,610 Yeah. They barely got a nipple. 112 00:03:54,612 --> 00:03:56,438 Come on. That was good. I just thought of that. 113 00:03:56,439 --> 00:03:57,176 Are you done? 114 00:03:57,177 --> 00:03:59,048 I bet she was comfortable with the pole. 115 00:03:59,984 --> 00:04:01,323 Ah. Should've quit after "nipple." 116 00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:03,071 How does Leno do it night after night? 117 00:04:03,072 --> 00:04:05,241 I was just wondering that about myself. 118 00:04:07,727 --> 00:04:09,943 Phil, please. Tell us that you have some good news. 119 00:04:09,944 --> 00:04:12,183 Well, it's complicated because I don't have good news, 120 00:04:12,184 --> 00:04:13,871 but I really want you guys to like me. 121 00:04:13,872 --> 00:04:16,237 What? Gil Thorpe called back with another offer, 122 00:04:16,238 --> 00:04:18,291 but it was $10,000 lower than the last one. 123 00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:19,187 Lower? 124 00:04:19,188 --> 00:04:21,079 Oh, that is perfect. That's just perfect. 125 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:22,784 Something you wanna say, Mitchell? 126 00:04:23,382 --> 00:04:26,165 Yes. I told you so. I warned you this would happen. 127 00:04:26,166 --> 00:04:28,173 I tried to stop it, but you wouldn't let me. 128 00:04:28,174 --> 00:04:29,698 I was right, and you were wrong. 129 00:04:29,699 --> 00:04:32,989 Uh, you live in this ridiculous candy-colored fantasy land. 130 00:04:32,990 --> 00:04:34,611 I am so much smarter than you, 131 00:04:34,612 --> 00:04:36,845 and it is killing me not to rub your nose in it! 132 00:04:36,846 --> 00:04:38,220 No. I'm just thinking. 133 00:04:38,221 --> 00:04:39,649 Okay, guys, we have to do something. 134 00:04:39,650 --> 00:04:41,699 We can't carry this house for much longer. 135 00:04:41,754 --> 00:04:43,546 Cam, what did you spend on staging? 136 00:04:43,711 --> 00:04:45,065 Uh, let's see. I don't know. 137 00:04:45,066 --> 00:04:46,395 How can you not know?! 138 00:04:46,396 --> 00:04:49,663 Because I was hungry, and everything was so pretty. 139 00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:50,849 And I didn't think it would matter 140 00:04:50,850 --> 00:04:51,820 because who could've guessed 141 00:04:51,821 --> 00:04:53,870 we wouldn't have sold the house by now? 142 00:04:54,222 --> 00:04:55,142 Me. 143 00:04:55,315 --> 00:04:56,869 Phil, do you think you can 144 00:04:56,870 --> 00:04:58,555 get Gil Thorpe up to his original offer? 145 00:04:58,556 --> 00:04:59,767 - How? - I don't know. 146 00:04:59,768 --> 00:05:02,141 You could, uh, flatter him, stroke his ego. 147 00:05:02,142 --> 00:05:04,534 No, he'd never fall for that. He's too smart. 148 00:05:04,826 --> 00:05:07,713 Ohh. But, honey, if anybody can pull it off, you can. 149 00:05:08,198 --> 00:05:10,092 You're so good at everything. 150 00:05:10,489 --> 00:05:11,441 Mm. That is true. 151 00:05:11,442 --> 00:05:12,395 - I'll do it. - Mm. 152 00:05:15,096 --> 00:05:16,320 We're back! 153 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:21,420 I cannot believe that again you brought a girl. 154 00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:23,923 What is it this time? A cocktail waitress? 155 00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:26,194 A boat show model? A stripper? 156 00:05:26,248 --> 00:05:29,784 No, then I could make real money. I'm just a PhD. 157 00:05:29,785 --> 00:05:31,185 Mom, this is Trish. 158 00:05:31,315 --> 00:05:33,211 - Gloria, hi. - Hi. 159 00:05:33,212 --> 00:05:33,988 - Jay. - How do you do? 160 00:05:33,989 --> 00:05:36,008 I have heard so much about you. 161 00:05:36,009 --> 00:05:37,581 She works at the museum of art. 162 00:05:37,582 --> 00:05:39,988 It was so cool. We got an after hours tour, 163 00:05:39,989 --> 00:05:42,586 and Trish said I could take flash pictures of the paintings. 164 00:05:42,587 --> 00:05:43,597 But don't worry. I didn't. 165 00:05:43,598 --> 00:05:44,208 That's a relief. 166 00:05:44,209 --> 00:05:45,758 I was afraid I was gonna have to look at 'em. 167 00:05:45,759 --> 00:05:47,447 So you work at the museum? 168 00:05:47,561 --> 00:05:48,865 Oh, no. I'm just on the board. 169 00:05:48,866 --> 00:05:51,454 I run the art and antiquities department at Christie's. 170 00:05:51,575 --> 00:05:52,203 Oh. 171 00:05:52,204 --> 00:05:54,228 Let me see. What is the word I am looking for? 172 00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:55,937 Oh, yes. Bam! 173 00:05:56,694 --> 00:05:58,301 So how did you two meet? 174 00:05:58,302 --> 00:06:00,639 I won a car in a poker game, but it caught on fire, 175 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:02,197 so the guy gave me a painting. 176 00:06:02,198 --> 00:06:03,567 I took it to the auction house, 177 00:06:03,568 --> 00:06:05,276 eh, ticky ticky, I made a big profit 178 00:06:05,277 --> 00:06:08,053 but I still came home with a masterpiece. 179 00:06:08,403 --> 00:06:09,546 He means her. 180 00:06:10,022 --> 00:06:13,255 May I tell you, you have a wonderful boy? 181 00:06:13,328 --> 00:06:15,660 So well-mannered and chivalrous. 182 00:06:15,661 --> 00:06:17,347 It's like he leapt off the canvas 183 00:06:17,348 --> 00:06:20,492 of a 16th century portrait by Gainsborough or van Dyke. 184 00:06:21,140 --> 00:06:22,928 Listen to that brain. Hmm? 185 00:06:22,929 --> 00:06:23,949 Can they stay for dinner? 186 00:06:23,950 --> 00:06:25,725 Well, that's up to them, papi. 187 00:06:25,726 --> 00:06:27,441 How can I turn down a free meal? 188 00:06:27,442 --> 00:06:28,632 First time's the hardest. 189 00:06:28,633 --> 00:06:29,849 What do you say, my love? 190 00:06:29,850 --> 00:06:33,097 Well, I'm not sure I'm ready to say good-bye to this guy yet. 191 00:06:33,098 --> 00:06:35,514 But I'll only stay if you let me contribute. 192 00:06:35,515 --> 00:06:39,286 I did bring along a fabulous bottle of '82 Bordeaux 193 00:06:39,287 --> 00:06:40,610 that we didn't get to this weekend. 194 00:06:40,611 --> 00:06:42,169 For that, you can take Manny home. 195 00:06:42,170 --> 00:06:43,750 See what I have to put up with? 196 00:06:45,185 --> 00:06:46,089 Gil! 197 00:06:46,229 --> 00:06:48,662 - Phil Dunphy. - Ha ha ha! 198 00:06:48,727 --> 00:06:50,543 I knew you'd come slinking back! 199 00:06:50,544 --> 00:06:51,382 Hey, guys! 200 00:06:51,383 --> 00:06:54,008 It's Dunphy. He's cavin'. What did I tell you? 201 00:06:54,009 --> 00:06:55,305 What did I tell you, hey? 202 00:06:56,715 --> 00:07:00,070 Oh, Dunphy, I can play you like a ukulele, 203 00:07:00,071 --> 00:07:02,156 'cause you're small and dainty. 204 00:07:02,157 --> 00:07:04,391 Gil, I wanna talk to you about your offer. 205 00:07:04,392 --> 00:07:05,872 Oh, ho! Let me stop you right there. 206 00:07:05,963 --> 00:07:07,292 This is how this is gonna go down. 207 00:07:07,951 --> 00:07:10,159 First of all, I'm gonna take you out to a very nice dinner. 208 00:07:10,794 --> 00:07:12,634 I'm gonna talk really sweet to you. 209 00:07:12,848 --> 00:07:15,379 And then I'm gonna lay you down by the fire... 210 00:07:15,380 --> 00:07:16,860 - Oh. - Slow at first, then... 211 00:07:16,861 --> 00:07:18,274 If you guys are talking about the house, 212 00:07:18,275 --> 00:07:19,598 my friend Zack's still looking. 213 00:07:19,599 --> 00:07:21,869 Honey, 14-year-olds can't afford to buy houses. 214 00:07:21,870 --> 00:07:23,126 He's not 14. 215 00:07:23,133 --> 00:07:25,685 He's a software guy who volunteers at my school. 216 00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:28,091 - We're gonna be sweating... - He's an adult with money? 217 00:07:28,095 --> 00:07:29,836 He drives a nicer car than you. 218 00:07:29,837 --> 00:07:30,922 Get me his number right now! 219 00:07:30,923 --> 00:07:31,676 And then you're gonna go home 220 00:07:31,677 --> 00:07:33,325 and tell everybody you went to the movies, 221 00:07:33,518 --> 00:07:36,288 but you and I both know that you got thorpedoed. 222 00:07:36,826 --> 00:07:38,579 Guess what, Gil. This was a courtesy call 223 00:07:38,580 --> 00:07:40,335 to tell you that I have another buyer. 224 00:07:40,678 --> 00:07:43,440 So you can tell your buyer that you cost them a get house... 225 00:07:43,441 --> 00:07:46,754 Because you got cocky and overplayed your hand. 226 00:07:46,835 --> 00:07:51,036 Prepare to Phil the agony of dun-feat. 227 00:07:51,755 --> 00:07:53,426 Both names! 228 00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:02,556 Now I'm not an art expert like you, 229 00:08:02,557 --> 00:08:04,611 but I did acquire this piece in a gallery 230 00:08:04,612 --> 00:08:06,741 in one of the finer Vegas casinos. 231 00:08:06,742 --> 00:08:07,877 What do you think? 232 00:08:08,551 --> 00:08:10,105 It does say something. 233 00:08:10,106 --> 00:08:12,170 He used to, before his little voice box broke. 234 00:08:12,171 --> 00:08:15,259 It said, "welcome home, master. Ruff day?" 235 00:08:16,777 --> 00:08:17,679 Again? 236 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:19,780 Would you believe she made me keep this in the attic? 237 00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:21,957 Gloria, Trish says this is art. 238 00:08:21,958 --> 00:08:23,653 What was it Thoreau said? 239 00:08:23,877 --> 00:08:26,195 "It's not what you look at that matters. It's what you see." 240 00:08:26,196 --> 00:08:27,101 Hear that? 241 00:08:27,250 --> 00:08:28,156 You were wrong. 242 00:08:28,157 --> 00:08:29,679 Keep talking like that, 243 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:32,823 and you will find out how he lost his voice box. 244 00:08:32,979 --> 00:08:35,426 - What have we here? - His name's Barkley. 245 00:08:36,157 --> 00:08:37,050 That's delightful. 246 00:08:37,051 --> 00:08:39,360 It's not delightful. It's disgusting. 247 00:08:39,361 --> 00:08:41,684 Uh, look at Warhol. Look at Koons. 248 00:08:41,685 --> 00:08:43,528 A lot of great works of contemporary art 249 00:08:43,529 --> 00:08:45,750 were initially dismissed as garbage. 250 00:08:45,751 --> 00:08:46,999 Excellent point, Trish. 251 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,557 This is not even garbage. 252 00:08:48,558 --> 00:08:51,344 They wouldn't take it. It's too big for the can. 253 00:08:51,345 --> 00:08:54,252 Now what I see is a man who is not man. 254 00:08:54,253 --> 00:08:56,599 He is a servant who has lost his dignity. 255 00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:59,277 It is a commentary on the class system in society-- 256 00:08:59,278 --> 00:09:02,712 as well as a handy place to put your keys and sunglasses. 257 00:09:02,713 --> 00:09:05,932 Whatever he is, your barkley is going back to the attic. 258 00:09:05,933 --> 00:09:07,309 I'm going to see the baby. 259 00:09:08,335 --> 00:09:09,358 Ohh. Barkley. 260 00:09:09,359 --> 00:09:10,199 Very clever. 261 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:11,528 Come on, guys. Let's play. 262 00:09:11,687 --> 00:09:12,786 What are you going to play? 263 00:09:12,787 --> 00:09:15,334 Charades. Me and Trish against dad and Jay. 264 00:09:15,335 --> 00:09:17,677 I have to warn you, Jay. These two are very good. 265 00:09:17,678 --> 00:09:19,373 It's like they have their own language. 266 00:09:19,374 --> 00:09:20,815 I want to play, too. 267 00:09:21,157 --> 00:09:22,395 Which team should I join? 268 00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:23,314 - Go with Manny. - Go with Jay. 269 00:09:23,315 --> 00:09:24,179 - Them. - His team. 270 00:09:25,812 --> 00:09:27,880 Okay, then. Great. 271 00:09:28,116 --> 00:09:29,396 Well, we'll see you tonight. 272 00:09:30,081 --> 00:09:31,729 Well, Zack Barbie is indeed an adult, 273 00:09:31,730 --> 00:09:33,583 he likes the neighborhood, and he's interested. 274 00:09:33,584 --> 00:09:34,600 Oh, thank God. 275 00:09:34,950 --> 00:09:37,475 Really? Did God come in here and tell you about him? 276 00:09:37,476 --> 00:09:39,253 Because I don't remember it that way. 277 00:09:39,254 --> 00:09:40,792 Okay, okay, this is it, people. 278 00:09:40,793 --> 00:09:42,466 We cannot afford to lose this buyer. 279 00:09:42,467 --> 00:09:43,500 Why am I standing? 280 00:09:43,501 --> 00:09:46,139 Phil, do you think this is the right house for him? 281 00:09:46,140 --> 00:09:47,773 It's hard to tell. He's young. He's single. 282 00:09:47,774 --> 00:09:49,398 I don't know anything else about him. 283 00:09:49,559 --> 00:09:51,590 Zack Barbie. Born 1986. 284 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,242 Went to college at a place called "mit." 285 00:09:53,243 --> 00:09:53,864 M.I.T. 286 00:09:53,865 --> 00:09:55,265 I know how to spell it. 287 00:09:56,411 --> 00:09:57,358 Five words. 288 00:09:57,359 --> 00:09:58,567 It's a book. 289 00:09:59,361 --> 00:10:00,753 There's an old man... 290 00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:02,514 On the boat... 291 00:10:02,847 --> 00:10:04,117 He caught a big fish. 292 00:10:04,118 --> 00:10:05,829 The old man and the fish! 293 00:10:05,830 --> 00:10:06,547 Uh, time! 294 00:10:06,548 --> 00:10:07,974 "The old man and the sea"! 295 00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:09,211 Never heard about it. 296 00:10:09,212 --> 00:10:11,609 Hemingway's classic tale of man versus nature. 297 00:10:11,610 --> 00:10:12,724 Leave it to a guy with a hundred cats 298 00:10:12,725 --> 00:10:14,128 to write a good fish story, right? 299 00:10:14,129 --> 00:10:15,407 Oh, ho, Trish! 300 00:10:15,993 --> 00:10:18,845 What is this, a book club or a fun game? 301 00:10:18,846 --> 00:10:19,758 Go. 302 00:10:25,854 --> 00:10:26,782 Play. 303 00:10:26,977 --> 00:10:28,047 Five words. 304 00:10:28,048 --> 00:10:30,086 Second word. Scared. Afraid. 305 00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:31,552 - "Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf?" - Got it! 306 00:10:31,553 --> 00:10:32,542 - You're amazing! - Oh! 307 00:10:32,622 --> 00:10:34,781 Wowie! You could do this for a living. 308 00:10:34,782 --> 00:10:35,792 Really? There's such a thing? 309 00:10:35,793 --> 00:10:37,290 No, just like there's no such thing 310 00:10:37,291 --> 00:10:39,370 as a professional Broadway enthusiast. 311 00:10:39,371 --> 00:10:40,733 You're gonna have to get a real job. 312 00:10:40,734 --> 00:10:42,054 Okay, it's my turn. 313 00:10:45,873 --> 00:10:47,017 I don't know this. 314 00:10:49,661 --> 00:10:50,685 I don't know this. 315 00:10:50,686 --> 00:10:52,346 Mom, you have to do the one you pick. 316 00:10:52,347 --> 00:10:53,440 Oh, no, Manny. It's fine. 317 00:10:53,441 --> 00:10:54,651 Just keep picking until you get one you like. 318 00:10:54,652 --> 00:10:57,772 No, no. I don't have to keep picking. I'm gonna do this one. 319 00:11:01,372 --> 00:11:02,094 - Uh-oh. - No, I got this. 320 00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:03,851 Is it a play, a book, or a movie? 321 00:11:03,852 --> 00:11:05,267 Yeah, one of those. 322 00:11:06,260 --> 00:11:07,453 "Lost"! "Clueless"! 323 00:11:07,454 --> 00:11:08,499 "Dazed and confused"! 324 00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:09,566 This is stupid. 325 00:11:09,572 --> 00:11:11,068 Nobody can get this. 326 00:11:11,270 --> 00:11:13,075 You're probably right. 327 00:11:13,684 --> 00:11:16,026 Yeah. See? This is one of mine. It's really hard. 328 00:11:16,027 --> 00:11:17,925 Really? What is it? You do it. 329 00:11:17,926 --> 00:11:18,991 Well... 330 00:11:19,606 --> 00:11:20,542 Play. 331 00:11:21,802 --> 00:11:22,722 "Sweeney Todd"! 332 00:11:22,723 --> 00:11:23,899 - Exactly. - Ah! 333 00:11:23,921 --> 00:11:24,945 What a team. 334 00:11:26,008 --> 00:11:28,624 This is a stupid... game! 335 00:11:31,302 --> 00:11:33,245 Okay, so after a quick scan of his Facebook, Twitter, 336 00:11:33,246 --> 00:11:34,643 Tumblr, Pinterest, and Instagram, 337 00:11:34,644 --> 00:11:35,871 here is what I know. 338 00:11:35,872 --> 00:11:37,248 Privacy is dead? 339 00:11:38,074 --> 00:11:40,610 Likes-- Chicago Blackhawks, kickboxing, 340 00:11:40,611 --> 00:11:42,117 the movie "Die hard," and beer. 341 00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:44,528 - He sounds like a frat boy. - Oh, he's many things. 342 00:11:44,529 --> 00:11:46,335 He meditates, he loves Indian food, 343 00:11:46,336 --> 00:11:48,328 and he's crazy about his dog Otis. 344 00:11:48,329 --> 00:11:49,458 Does the house have a doggie door? 345 00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:50,219 - No. - No. 346 00:11:50,220 --> 00:11:52,168 Put one in. You get to Barbie through Otis. 347 00:11:52,169 --> 00:11:53,908 She's like the girl with the dragon tattoo. 348 00:11:53,909 --> 00:11:54,716 With cuter hair. 349 00:11:54,717 --> 00:11:56,527 - Stop talking! - Oh, she really is. 350 00:11:56,528 --> 00:11:58,480 Dude has a thing for chicks in black tights, 351 00:11:58,481 --> 00:11:59,766 he likes old school funk, 352 00:11:59,767 --> 00:12:01,935 and he chipped his front tooth playing soccer. 353 00:12:01,995 --> 00:12:03,393 Aw! It's actually kind of cute. 354 00:12:03,394 --> 00:12:04,948 Oh, my God. You're falling in love with him. 355 00:12:04,949 --> 00:12:06,761 Oh, please. It's just a job, nothing more. 356 00:12:06,762 --> 00:12:08,751 Okay, that's enough to go on. Let's move. 357 00:12:08,752 --> 00:12:09,269 We've got two hours 358 00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:11,081 to turn that place into Zack Barbie's dream house. 359 00:12:11,082 --> 00:12:12,817 - Barbie's dream house. - We don't have time! 360 00:12:18,220 --> 00:12:20,156 What the hell was all that about? 361 00:12:20,796 --> 00:12:23,048 Why don't you ask Trish? She knows everything. 362 00:12:23,049 --> 00:12:24,641 Well, at least she's not a bimbo. 363 00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:26,973 She and Manny seem to hit it off fine. 364 00:12:27,127 --> 00:12:28,407 What's the problem? 365 00:12:28,408 --> 00:12:31,798 Just one weekend, and he already idolizes her. 366 00:12:31,831 --> 00:12:34,897 And why wouldn't he? She's so much smarter than me. 367 00:12:34,898 --> 00:12:37,931 She knows so much more about the things that he loves. 368 00:12:37,932 --> 00:12:40,412 They have their little inside jokes. 369 00:12:41,083 --> 00:12:42,878 If she learns how to froth his cappuccino, 370 00:12:42,879 --> 00:12:43,894 I am history. 371 00:12:43,895 --> 00:12:46,607 You and Manny have the closest relationship I've ever seen. 372 00:12:46,832 --> 00:12:47,711 Hell, he may never form 373 00:12:47,712 --> 00:12:50,088 a healthy attachment with another woman after you. 374 00:12:50,096 --> 00:12:51,671 You're just saying that. 375 00:12:51,672 --> 00:12:53,324 And it doesn't matter if Manny likes her. 376 00:12:53,325 --> 00:12:54,626 Knowing Javier's track record, 377 00:12:54,627 --> 00:12:56,545 he'll dump her like he dumps everybody. 378 00:12:56,546 --> 00:12:59,179 You are wrong, Jay. I'm not going to dump her. 379 00:12:59,411 --> 00:13:01,946 In fact, this weekend, I asked Trish to marry me. 380 00:13:04,943 --> 00:13:06,450 You're going to marry her? 381 00:13:06,451 --> 00:13:08,557 I was waiting for the right time to tell you. 382 00:13:08,558 --> 00:13:09,149 Nailed it. 383 00:13:09,150 --> 00:13:11,796 I wanted to ask you for my abuela's ring back. 384 00:13:11,797 --> 00:13:12,901 I really want Trish to wear it. 385 00:13:12,902 --> 00:13:15,753 She is the most amazing woman I've ever known. 386 00:13:15,754 --> 00:13:17,706 You see that I am holding a knife. 387 00:13:17,707 --> 00:13:20,216 Please. Half our marriage was you with a knife. 388 00:13:20,217 --> 00:13:22,674 Trish is the one. And Manny already loves her. 389 00:13:22,675 --> 00:13:24,052 He can spend more time with us now-- 390 00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:25,582 Holidays, summers even. 391 00:13:25,583 --> 00:13:27,534 Fine. I'll go get you the ring. 392 00:13:27,535 --> 00:13:28,965 But you owe me $8 393 00:13:28,966 --> 00:13:31,189 because I had to replace "the emerald." 394 00:13:44,830 --> 00:13:46,864 Javier, you've brought a lot of 30-year-olds around here, 395 00:13:46,865 --> 00:13:48,489 but this one's my favorite. 396 00:13:48,490 --> 00:13:50,009 And I like Trish, too. 397 00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:51,134 Me, too. 398 00:13:51,135 --> 00:13:52,401 Well, then I suppose this is 399 00:13:52,402 --> 00:13:55,130 as good a moment as any to tell you, Manny. 400 00:13:55,527 --> 00:13:57,243 Trish and I are getting married. 401 00:13:57,244 --> 00:13:59,828 Oh, my gosh. This is the best news ever! 402 00:14:01,293 --> 00:14:02,645 Here. Drink. 403 00:14:02,814 --> 00:14:04,182 Now listen, my love. 404 00:14:05,081 --> 00:14:07,513 This belonged to my abuela. 405 00:14:07,774 --> 00:14:09,336 Um, maybe not now, Javier. 406 00:14:09,337 --> 00:14:10,528 No, no. Please. Please. 407 00:14:10,529 --> 00:14:12,856 It will fill my heart to see this ring on your... 408 00:14:13,777 --> 00:14:14,817 your finger. 409 00:14:15,282 --> 00:14:17,250 Oh. It's-- it's a little small. 410 00:14:18,064 --> 00:14:18,787 I can't do this. 411 00:14:18,788 --> 00:14:20,488 No, no. I'll just push a little harder. 412 00:14:20,489 --> 00:14:23,266 Javier, stop. It'll never work. 413 00:14:23,775 --> 00:14:24,991 But wait, my love. 414 00:14:25,191 --> 00:14:26,990 We can put butter on your finger. 415 00:14:29,882 --> 00:14:31,090 That's him. Hit it. 416 00:14:35,127 --> 00:14:36,514 Hey! Not him. 417 00:14:36,803 --> 00:14:38,481 Hey, guys. Sorry it took me so long. 418 00:14:38,482 --> 00:14:40,838 I've never bought beer before. There's just so many choices. 419 00:14:40,839 --> 00:14:42,062 Do we really need that much? 420 00:14:42,063 --> 00:14:43,719 I don't know. Is this a lot? 421 00:14:44,980 --> 00:14:46,292 Showtime! 422 00:14:47,895 --> 00:14:49,367 Hey! Not him. 423 00:14:49,564 --> 00:14:52,612 Hey! Thought I'd just swing by and see how it's going. 424 00:14:52,613 --> 00:14:53,741 Zack here? 425 00:14:53,772 --> 00:14:54,796 Oh, my God. 426 00:14:55,033 --> 00:14:56,992 You are wearing black tights. 427 00:14:56,993 --> 00:14:58,841 Alex was right. You are into him. 428 00:14:58,842 --> 00:15:01,062 That skank Zoey broke his heart. I can make him whole again! 429 00:15:01,063 --> 00:15:02,111 Haley. 430 00:15:03,054 --> 00:15:04,324 Okay, that has to be him. 431 00:15:04,325 --> 00:15:05,679 Everyone we know is already here. 432 00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:08,609 - Everyone, places. Let's make this perfect. - Yes. 433 00:15:09,056 --> 00:15:09,976 I'm Ira Glass. 434 00:15:09,977 --> 00:15:10,962 - Today on the program... - No, no. 435 00:15:10,963 --> 00:15:12,007 - That's not it. - Turn that off! 436 00:15:12,008 --> 00:15:13,599 - No, no, no, no, no! - Turn it off! 437 00:15:13,932 --> 00:15:14,879 It's the back button. 438 00:15:15,556 --> 00:15:17,360 Hey! You must be Zack. 439 00:15:17,361 --> 00:15:18,848 - Yeah. - I'm Phil Dunphy. Come on in. 440 00:15:18,849 --> 00:15:20,129 - Hi. - Yeah. 441 00:15:20,166 --> 00:15:21,306 These are my associates. 442 00:15:21,307 --> 00:15:22,692 - Hello! - Good evening. - Hi! 443 00:15:22,693 --> 00:15:23,694 - Hello. - Hi! 444 00:15:23,695 --> 00:15:25,631 Oh, and my, uh, my daughter. 445 00:15:25,918 --> 00:15:28,558 So... this is the place. 446 00:15:28,618 --> 00:15:29,514 Looks nice. 447 00:15:29,515 --> 00:15:30,923 So, Zack, you hungry? 448 00:15:30,924 --> 00:15:33,220 Uh, no. But, uh, it smells great. 449 00:15:33,221 --> 00:15:36,375 Yeah, it's from this amazing Indian place just down the road. 450 00:15:36,376 --> 00:15:37,640 It's walking distance. 451 00:15:37,641 --> 00:15:39,879 Which is awesome if you've had one too many brewskis, 452 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:41,008 am I right? 453 00:15:41,032 --> 00:15:42,048 Yeah. 454 00:15:43,695 --> 00:15:46,893 Oh. Is someone a Blackhawks fan? Love the hawks. 455 00:15:47,008 --> 00:15:49,272 Yeah, well, that's a weird coincidence. 456 00:15:49,597 --> 00:15:51,081 Let's go check out the kickboxing gym. 457 00:15:51,082 --> 00:15:52,861 Seriously? I kickbox. 458 00:15:52,862 --> 00:15:53,817 - What?! - Yeah. 459 00:15:53,818 --> 00:15:54,803 Come on! 460 00:15:57,115 --> 00:15:58,059 Haley! 461 00:16:00,241 --> 00:16:01,800 Trish, open up! 462 00:16:01,801 --> 00:16:03,602 No. I don't want to see you right now. 463 00:16:03,603 --> 00:16:05,623 Open up, or I'm going to break down the door! 464 00:16:05,624 --> 00:16:08,200 Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Don't break down the door! 465 00:16:08,233 --> 00:16:08,857 Ay, caramba. 466 00:16:08,858 --> 00:16:10,706 I'm beginning to think I should've just bought a ring. 467 00:16:10,707 --> 00:16:12,236 - Let me talk to her. - You? 468 00:16:12,744 --> 00:16:15,276 Yes. She's scared. Maybe I can help. 469 00:16:15,277 --> 00:16:17,509 Help her go... adios. 470 00:16:17,701 --> 00:16:18,514 Go ahead. 471 00:16:18,515 --> 00:16:20,663 And you tell her she's being crazy and irrational. 472 00:16:20,664 --> 00:16:23,220 And if she doesn't come out, I'm going to burn down this house! 473 00:16:23,221 --> 00:16:25,117 Don't burn down the house! 474 00:16:25,807 --> 00:16:28,159 Trish, open! It's Gloria. 475 00:16:30,107 --> 00:16:32,474 I'm sorry. I needed to be alone. 476 00:16:32,501 --> 00:16:33,972 In Manny's bedroom? 477 00:16:34,239 --> 00:16:36,794 Well... I thought it was a bathroom. 478 00:16:36,795 --> 00:16:38,428 It smells like potpourri. 479 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:39,756 Mm. Listen, 480 00:16:39,757 --> 00:16:42,213 I would be the first person to understand that 481 00:16:42,214 --> 00:16:45,012 you're having second thoughts about marrying Javier. 482 00:16:45,302 --> 00:16:46,279 I am, 483 00:16:46,426 --> 00:16:48,099 but I do love him. 484 00:16:48,100 --> 00:16:49,260 Of course you do, 485 00:16:49,261 --> 00:16:52,869 even though he's irresponsible and impulsive, 486 00:16:52,870 --> 00:16:54,692 and if your sisters are even a little bit pretty, 487 00:16:54,693 --> 00:16:56,805 - he's gonna try-- - No, no, no, no, no. It's not that. 488 00:16:56,870 --> 00:16:58,245 Is it the drinking? 489 00:16:59,191 --> 00:17:00,527 Is it the gambling? 490 00:17:01,176 --> 00:17:02,855 Is it because of your fat fingers? 491 00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:04,596 - No, it's you. - Me? 492 00:17:04,597 --> 00:17:06,205 How can I compete with you? 493 00:17:06,206 --> 00:17:07,508 All Manny talks about 494 00:17:07,509 --> 00:17:09,836 is how he's got the world's greatest mom. 495 00:17:09,837 --> 00:17:11,923 And I know Javier regrets losing you. 496 00:17:11,924 --> 00:17:13,053 No, he doesn't. 497 00:17:13,054 --> 00:17:14,918 Oh, believe me, he does. 498 00:17:15,087 --> 00:17:17,643 And who could blame him? I mean... 499 00:17:18,083 --> 00:17:19,322 Look at you! 500 00:17:19,373 --> 00:17:21,461 Who has a body like that?! 501 00:17:21,682 --> 00:17:24,145 And you just had a baby two months ago? 502 00:17:24,146 --> 00:17:26,641 I mean, what-- do you just live at the gym? 503 00:17:26,642 --> 00:17:28,697 Who has time for the gym? 504 00:17:30,232 --> 00:17:31,737 You know what I had for lunch?! 505 00:17:31,738 --> 00:17:33,318 I had a half a granola bar, 506 00:17:33,319 --> 00:17:36,205 and I can't button my pants! 507 00:17:36,206 --> 00:17:37,943 I can't cook! 508 00:17:38,148 --> 00:17:41,492 And at best, I am average in bed! 509 00:17:41,610 --> 00:17:42,672 And I will never, 510 00:17:42,673 --> 00:17:47,490 ever, ever live up to the great Gloria! 511 00:17:48,825 --> 00:17:50,905 Welcome to the family! 512 00:17:54,353 --> 00:17:56,605 And did I mention that from the back of the garden, 513 00:17:56,606 --> 00:17:58,494 you can almost see a piece of the building 514 00:17:58,495 --> 00:18:00,238 that they shot "Die hard" in? 515 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:02,662 I like to sit back there sometimes. 516 00:18:02,663 --> 00:18:05,575 It's a great place to gather my thoughts and just... 517 00:18:05,731 --> 00:18:06,942 I don't know. Be in the now. 518 00:18:06,943 --> 00:18:08,319 I meditate every day. 519 00:18:08,375 --> 00:18:09,681 - Yippee-ki-yay! - Yeah. 520 00:18:09,682 --> 00:18:11,298 What are the odds? 521 00:18:11,973 --> 00:18:13,542 You know, this is probably not gonna help 522 00:18:13,543 --> 00:18:15,247 my negotiating power, but... 523 00:18:15,515 --> 00:18:17,627 I kinda can't believe how perfect this house is. 524 00:18:17,979 --> 00:18:22,067 And how much is little Otis gonna enjoy this doggie door? 525 00:18:23,193 --> 00:18:25,346 How do you... know my dog's name? 526 00:18:25,581 --> 00:18:26,198 I don't. 527 00:18:26,199 --> 00:18:28,239 Yeah, you do. You just said "Otis." 528 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:29,899 No. No, no, he said, 529 00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:33,108 "oh, dis doggie door would be perfect for your dog..." 530 00:18:33,997 --> 00:18:35,342 Should you own one. 531 00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:37,743 - That's not even close to what he just said. - That's what I heard. 532 00:18:37,757 --> 00:18:39,228 Anyway, we can do a very fast escrow 533 00:18:39,229 --> 00:18:41,283 and get you in this house by the end of the month. 534 00:18:41,284 --> 00:18:43,941 Oh! Just in time for your birthday! 535 00:18:44,137 --> 00:18:45,201 - Ohh. - This is weird! 536 00:18:45,271 --> 00:18:46,180 It's totally weird. 537 00:18:46,181 --> 00:18:48,684 Okay, the Blackhawks, you know my birthday, 538 00:18:48,892 --> 00:18:50,362 and you know my dog's name. 539 00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:52,582 - You guys are freaking me out. - Okay, wait a second. 540 00:18:52,583 --> 00:18:54,453 We poured our hearts into this house, 541 00:18:54,454 --> 00:18:56,828 and we just wanted to show you what it would be like 542 00:18:56,829 --> 00:19:00,933 if you were living here. Did we go a tiny bit overboard? 543 00:19:04,220 --> 00:19:05,172 Oh, my God. 544 00:19:06,427 --> 00:19:07,411 Mm! Favorite song. 545 00:19:07,573 --> 00:19:08,845 - Way to go. - Ha. You take care. 546 00:19:10,075 --> 00:19:12,075 Can you even see the "Die hard" building from here? 547 00:19:12,076 --> 00:19:13,066 - No. - Mnh-mnh. 548 00:19:14,615 --> 00:19:16,313 I'll be at Coachella, too! I'll come find you! 549 00:19:16,314 --> 00:19:17,803 - Honey! Haley! - Haley! 550 00:19:19,309 --> 00:19:20,589 Well, that's it. 551 00:19:21,143 --> 00:19:22,623 We're officially screwed. 552 00:19:22,669 --> 00:19:23,431 Darn it. 553 00:19:23,432 --> 00:19:24,540 It's okay, honey. 554 00:19:24,541 --> 00:19:27,397 No, it's not okay. I feel responsible. 555 00:19:27,638 --> 00:19:29,806 I dragged us all into this. 556 00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:33,948 The whole point was so that I could make a little extra money 557 00:19:33,949 --> 00:19:35,276 and contribute to the family, 558 00:19:35,277 --> 00:19:37,933 and instead, I'm gonna end up costing us. 559 00:19:38,571 --> 00:19:39,471 I'm a failure. 560 00:19:39,472 --> 00:19:41,055 Hey. Hey. 561 00:19:41,685 --> 00:19:43,485 No one could've predicted this. 562 00:19:44,603 --> 00:19:45,477 My bad. 563 00:19:45,478 --> 00:19:46,434 We'll find another buyer. 564 00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:49,252 - This time, we'll learn from our mistakes. - Got it. I got it. 565 00:19:49,724 --> 00:19:50,796 He's back! 566 00:19:51,395 --> 00:19:54,029 No. No, no, no! Stop! Stop. Stop. 567 00:19:54,116 --> 00:19:56,580 This is a great house. It was built with integrity. 568 00:19:56,605 --> 00:19:59,107 We should sell it that way, okay? No more tricks. 569 00:19:59,108 --> 00:20:00,744 - Yeah. - Let's just be honest. 570 00:20:00,745 --> 00:20:01,689 No tricks. 571 00:20:03,188 --> 00:20:04,732 - Hey, Dunphy. - Gil. 572 00:20:05,467 --> 00:20:06,644 Your office said you'd be over here. 573 00:20:06,645 --> 00:20:07,757 Yeah, I am here. 574 00:20:07,908 --> 00:20:09,084 With my buyers. 575 00:20:10,544 --> 00:20:11,274 What do you guys think? 576 00:20:11,275 --> 00:20:13,261 Oh, my God! This house is perfect. 577 00:20:13,262 --> 00:20:16,734 I especially love the warm embrace of the parlor! 578 00:20:16,735 --> 00:20:18,931 - It screams you. - No, it screams you, sweetie. 579 00:20:18,932 --> 00:20:20,858 - Oh, dis doggie door, Cam. Look. - Ooh! 580 00:20:20,859 --> 00:20:22,954 Damn it. Gays. 581 00:20:23,619 --> 00:20:24,763 They come to play. 582 00:20:25,368 --> 00:20:26,575 I'm busy, Gil. 583 00:20:26,596 --> 00:20:29,580 Don't accept any offers without talking to me first. 584 00:20:29,581 --> 00:20:31,161 My buyer wants in, all right? 585 00:20:31,162 --> 00:20:33,390 I don't know. We're pretty far down that road. 586 00:20:33,391 --> 00:20:35,313 All right. We'll up the offer. 587 00:20:35,314 --> 00:20:36,250 Gil... 588 00:20:37,025 --> 00:20:38,856 Let me tell you how this is gonna go down. 589 00:20:39,704 --> 00:20:42,504 First, you're gonna buy me a lovely dinner. 590 00:20:42,525 --> 00:20:43,678 No, that's not it. 591 00:20:43,740 --> 00:20:46,581 First, I'm gonna buy you a lovely dinner. 592 00:20:46,931 --> 00:20:48,843 Then I'm gonna take you in the back... 593 00:20:48,844 --> 00:20:50,845 It's gonna happen! It's gonna happen! 594 00:20:50,930 --> 00:20:52,417 We're gonna sell the house. 595 00:20:53,271 --> 00:20:55,974 You see, Mitchell? I told you so. 596 00:20:56,146 --> 00:20:57,122 Yeah! 597 00:21:07,396 --> 00:21:08,785 That's my wife. I better take it. 598 00:21:08,786 --> 00:21:10,667 Hey, hey. Whoa, listen. Whatever you do, 599 00:21:10,668 --> 00:21:12,513 don't tell her you're playing golf on a weekday. 600 00:21:12,514 --> 00:21:14,050 You'll be doing dishes all night. 601 00:21:14,051 --> 00:21:16,051 Good call. Thank you, my man. 602 00:21:16,459 --> 00:21:17,700 Hey, honey. What's up? 603 00:21:18,625 --> 00:21:20,217 Oh, not much. 604 00:21:20,218 --> 00:21:21,733 Just, uh, in a meeting. 605 00:21:22,653 --> 00:21:24,477 You know, working hard, bringing home the bacon. 606 00:21:25,259 --> 00:21:26,667 No, he's not! He's playing golf! 607 00:21:26,668 --> 00:21:27,579 No. 608 00:21:27,743 --> 00:21:29,672 Um... fore! Nice putt! 609 00:21:30,329 --> 00:21:32,221 Why you lying to your wife, Dunphy? Huh? 610 00:21:32,933 --> 00:21:34,549 Hey, he had a beer at lunch, too! 611 00:21:34,550 --> 00:21:35,768 What is wrong with you? 612 00:21:36,342 --> 00:21:37,797 You just got thorpedoed! 613 00:21:37,798 --> 00:21:38,886 Come back here. 614 00:21:39,086 --> 00:21:40,286 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net