Frank Devereaux -- he's a jackass and a lunatic.
He's also a surveillance expert.
"Hey, Frank, go dig up some dirt on Richard Roman."
That night, I was burned off every I.P. I had.
Ears on my phone, eyes on my house...
Dick's got people watching you?
Frank! Don't shoot! We're coming in.
Who's to say this ain't the day they come for old Frank
who knew too much.
Bobby! Hey!
Your time is up.
Bobby. You ran away from your reaper?
Hi, boys.
- Bobby. - You can see me?
Rethink it, Bobby.
We still have work to do.
It's not right. You know that.
What was I thinking?
So, what do you think we should do?
I don't know.
Everything is supposed to end.
You know, he was supposed...
Now...What are the odds this ends well?
What are the odds?
Yeah, I hear you. All right, well, thanks for looking.
Yep. Bye.
So, Nora didn't see any pattern to the dig sites either.
Yeah, 'cause they got nothing in common.
And I got nothing from local lore
50 miles in every direction of all of them.
I mean, it's like they're just...
old dirt.
What's Dick looking for?
Hey, hey, go easy, you idjits.
Sorry for the jump scare.
So how does this work, huh?
I leave the cap off and you just genie your way out?
I wish it were that easy.
The thing is --
Bobby?
Damn it. It's hard to stay focused.
I'm still kind of worn out.
You've been pretty busy for a dead guy.
All right. Listen.
I-I don't know how long before my next ghost nap,
so let's just skip to the skinny --
those numbers I gave you.
The empty lot in Cheeseville?
Yeah, well, it ain't gonna be empty for long.
I got a gander at Dick's big plan,
right before he Lincolned me.
They're breaking ground -- what month is this?
Uh, April.
Ground's broke.
They're surveying.
They're getting ready to build something.
- Build what? - Exactly.
What?
They're building as we're yammering.
Check it out yourself. It's all right.
I mean, you guys missed it because you've been kind of busy
killing ghosts the past few days.
But Dick is about to get into the Soylent Green business.
That site'll show you they're building a biotech lab, right?
Biotech my ass.
That sucker
is a state-of-the-art slaughterhouse.
And we're the beef.
Don't you think that's a little bold, even for Dick?
I bet you no one will even notice,
'cause first, he's gonna dumb us all down
with Turducken-style munchies.
Make us docile.
It's in the meat.
We haven't been to Biggerson's since that whole fiasco.
Biggerson's? He's bought a list of joints 10 pages long.
Ah.
Next, he's gonna cure us.
Cure us of what?
All the biggies -- cancer, aids, heart disease.
Let's just say they got an affinity for stem-cell research.
The, uh, Leviathan real-estate mooks
building that cancer center.
It's going to be a research center.
Research for what?
They're not hunting anymore.
They're engineering the perfect herd.
With the very first dose, it starts to work on their DNA,
slowing their metabolism, causing weight gain,
and dampening their emotional range,
which makes them perfectly complacent.
Now, we've gone up against plenty --
liked to eat a few folk in the woods.
This ain't that.
This is about knocking us off the top of the food chain.
This is about them Levis living here forever,
one-percenter style,
while we march our dopey, fat asses
down to the shiny new death camps at every corner.
It's an e-mail...
from Frank.
Frank's alive?
That jackass, always stealing my thunder.
"Sam and Dean, if you're reading this, I'm dead..."
"...or worse.
"This e-mail was sent
"because some prince is trying to hack into my hard drive
"right this second.
So unless it's you, you got trouble."
Um okay
"my drive is full of compromising info.
Your new aliases, hangouts, where you stored your car..."
Baby?
Even though he encrypted the crap out of his drive,
he says we should assume
that someone can hack into it eventually.
He did put a tracking device in it.
All right, let's see where Frank's drive is.
Perfect.
It's in the middle of the Death Star.
♪ Supernatural 7x20 ♪ The Girl With the Dungeons and Dragons Tattoo Original Air Date on April 27, 2012
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
♪ I used to think maybe you loved me ♪
♪ now, baby, I'm sure ♪
♪ and I just can't wait till the day ♪
♪ when you knock on my door ♪
♪ now every time I go for the mailbox ♪
♪ gotta hold myself down ♪
♪ 'cause I just wait ♪
♪ till you write me you're coming around ♪
♪ now, I'm walking on sunshine ♪
♪ whoa ♪
♪ I'm walking on sunshine ♪
♪ whoa ♪
♪ and don't it feel good? ♪
♪ hey ♪
How'd it go last night?
Charlie,
it's a moral imperative you let me live vicariously through you.
Pictures or it didn't happen, right?
You hooked up at a charity benefit?
If you can't score at a reproductive rights function,
then you simply cannot score.
Wait. Is that legal?
We were two consenting adults.
No. That.
Why do you insist on breaking the law on company property?
Mmm, faster Internet connection here.
Oh, well, if Pete finds out, he's gonna fire you...
or get you arrested.
Teddy Bear Pete? Please.
You know I've been doing this for like a month.
I can cover my tracks, Harry.
Trust me.
Charlie!
My office. Now.
- I love you. - I know.
Charlie Bradbury?
Dick.
Sit.
Charlie, I've been running things for, well,
feels like since before the dawn of man.
Always had a vision.
I'm close to realizing that dream.
I don't want to brag, but the world is my dinner plate.
And I don't want anything to jeopardize that --
definitely not the actions of one tiny, little person.
Sir, sir, I can fix this. Please -- please don't fire me.
What's she talking about?
Is that about hacking those Super Pacs?
'Cause that was adorable.
Tell me, how does a high-school dropout
become one of the brightest minds at Roman, Inc.?
Um...Honestly... Historically,
I've had this problem with -- with authority --
no offense --
so I realized the only way to get away with being me
was to be as indispensable as possible.
Sorry.
You're kind of completing me right now, Charlie.
You have that spark,
that thing that makes humans so special.
Not everyone has it, you know.
Those people -- they can be replaced.
But people like you... are impossible to copy.
C-copy?
Take the compliment.
This belonged to one Frank Devereaux.
Thought he could bring down the whole company.
He was wrong. Let's keep him wrong.
It's encrypted, or whatever you crazy kids say these days.
Break it open and bring it to me.
Yeah, I'm on it. And -- and thank you.
You're welcome.
You have three days or you're fired.
Good talk.
Is this real life?
Dick Roman gave me an assignment.
Is that...Good?
It means the Eye of Sauron is on me.
Well, if you need anything, I'll be back in the shire.
All right, H. It's just you and me now.
Access denied.
Access denied. Access denied.
Access denied.
How about a nice game of chess?
Wait a second.
Seriously?
"Wargames"?
Access granted.
Shall we play a game, bitches?
That was hardly the Chamber of Secrets, right?
Booyah.
And back to square one.
Let's see where Frank's drive is.
Perfect.
It's in the middle of the Death Star.
All right, well, off to Chicago.
No, wait, boys, you can't just break in.
They know your mugs.
What if we mailed in the flask?
Then I could ghost through the joint.
I mean, it's not like Dick can kill me twice.
What, you got a better plan?
Come on.
Just because I'm dead
doesn't mean I don't know how to do my damn job.
Bobby, that's Dick's office.
I think what Sam's trying to say is,
what happens if you run into Dick
and, you know... go vengeful.
You know it's not something you can just shake off.
Come on. Give me some credit.
What, I'm supposed to just ride the pine?
Sorry, Bobby.
Did you go home last night?
I'll get us some coffee.
I assume you want some crack in yours.
Yes, please.
Finally.
Who is this d-bag?
Don't do it.
Roman said to bring it right to him.
You're right, H. You're always right.
What the frak's a Leviathan?
"The thing to know about Leviathan
"is these monsters are as old as time,
"strong as all get-out.
"Sodium borate -- commonly known as borax.
"Decapitation is the key.
"Then put that head in a box.
"These are the Superman of monsters
"from the black hole of purgatory.
"They can shapeshift, take your face, your memory -- the works.
"The top boss is Mr. Dick Roman.
He runs the show."
"Cut one, you see black goo.
"We're through the looking glass.
"Blood is black, and black is blood.
"Don't turn your back.
Get out of the building. Get out of the county."
How goes it?
Pretty sure I spent the last 24 hours hacking into a loony bin.
Where's Pete?
Uh, probably snuck down to the garage for a smoky treat.
How's it going with that drive?
Uh, great.
Charlie was here all night.
You know, that drive's very important to me.
I'm gonna want a watchful eye kept.
Well, I will do just that.
No. You won't.
Bruce Springsteen, Eli Manning, our own little Charlie --
you know what they are?
Irreplaceable.
You're more of a Tim Tebow, Joe Biden type.
You got no spark in you.
In fact, there's nothing in you...
except Daryl's dinner.
Hey, Pete, sorry I left without telling you.
No, I just wasn't... feeling well.
It's a...lady thing.
I will be in first thing.
Got to go -- cramps.
It's all right. I'm not gonna hurt you.
Get away from me, you...
Shapeshifter!
Look, we're not shapeshifters.
Oh!
Geez!
Look, we're not Leviathans, okay?
You want us to prove it?
You know what borax does to them?
Sam?
Huh?
Your turn.
Good.
Who the hell are you guys?
America -- a nation of greatness...
...a nation of hardworking individuals.
And, rest assured,
no one works harder for you than Sucrocorp.
Here at Sucrocorp,
your well-being is our number-one priority.
Sucrocorp -- eat well, live well.
So you're saying, you guys are monster hunters.
So, there are other monsters?
Stop. Never mind. Just shh.
Okay, I get how you tracked the drive --
straight GPS -- but it's still at the office.
How did you find me?
Aw! Son of a gun jacked my webcam?!
Welcome to Frank.
It's creepy, but I'll give it to him.
So you're telling me everything he had on his drive is true.
That and more.
Wait. How long did it take you to crack into Frank's drive?
A day or so.
Is there anything you can't hack into?
Not yet.
How about Dick Roman's e-mail?
Why would I...
Oh. He's one of them.
No. Uh, he's their leader.
So what's the end game --
steal our resources, make us some slaves?
Planet-wide value meal. We're the meat.
You can't be...serious.
Okay. All right. Let's do this.
What am I looking for?
Well, for starters, uh, anything about archaeological dig sites.
Like Indiana Jones stuff?
All we know is that Dick has been digging all over the world,
and we need to know what he's looking for.
You know, I was having a really good week.
I met someone, downloaded the new Robyn album.
Everything was coming up me.
Oh, crap.
Look, we get it sucks.
No, not that. This.
Dick's e-mail isn't on the company server.
It's on a private one, in his office.
Meaning?
Can't get in it unless you have his phone or you're at his desk.
So you're saying that if we're inside Dick's office,
then we can hack into his e-mail?
You can't. Only someone like...
But I sure as hell ain't doing it.
I am doing my job and...
What are the chances I see everything on that drive
and Dick lets me live anyway?
I think you know.
So I erase the drive first, protect me and you.
Then I go back to my old life, right?
- What? - It's not that easy.
You're on Dick's radar,
which means you don't have an old life anymore.
I'm gonna die.
I should have taken that job at Google.
Look, Charlie, it's okay if you can't do it.
I mean, you didn't volunteer for this.
Totally. Exactly.
But now I volunteer.
What?
I got to go back in anyways to wipe Frank's drive.
Might as well break into Dick's office, too.
Are you sure?
No. But these things are gonna eat everyone I know.
What kind of douche bag stands by for that?
However, I have never broken into anything
in real life before, so...plan?
Got a Bluetooth?
Yeah.
Security system -- can you get into that?
I can reroute any surveillance cameras we need.
All right. Let's start with that.
Do you have a key card to get in the building?
Uh, yeah.
I can't duplicate it, but I can make a fake backing.
How's it going?
Great, since she set all this up.
Um, look.
See this?
I can put each camera on a prerecorded loop.
Once I do that, she'll have 15 minutes.
15 minutes ain't a lot of time.
No.
She said if it took longer to hack his desktop,
then she deserved to be eaten.
I like her.
Wait. Is that...
Son of a bitch.
What? Look at her bag.
Bobby.
Wait. Y-you think he --
hitched a ride after we told him to cool his jets?
Yeah. What the hell's he thinking?
He's not.
So what do we do -- call the whole thing off?
We only got one shot at this.
♪ used to think maybe you loved me ♪ --
Charlie, Dean.
Are you singing?
I sing when I'm nervous. Don't judge me.
Judgment-free zone.
Listen, uh, check the side pocket in your bag.
Oh.
Thank you.
Mmm. Good idea.
Yeah, no problem.
Look, that's, uh, kind of a family heirloom.
It's a good-luck charm, okay, so don't lose it.
Copy that.
Okay.
Let's do this.
Uh, Charlie?
I'm having a hard time moving.
You can do this.
Uh, I'm -- I'm not a spy.
No, I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't.
Charlie, hey, it's Sam. I'm sorry, Sam.
I'm sorry. I-I just -- it's okay.
Uh, listen, w-who's your favorite "Harry Potter" character?
Uh, Hermione.
Hermione.
Well, uh, all right, did Hermione run
when Sirius Black was in trouble
or when Voldemort attacked Hogwarts?
- Seriously? - Shut it.
No, of course not.
What did she do?
She kicked ass.
She actually saves Harry in practically every book.
And then she ends up with the wrong --
Uh, stay on track.
Okay, so she kicked ass, right?
So, then, what are you gonna do?
I'm gonna kick it in the ass.
Good girl.
Oh, you go, dumble-dork.
I'm in.
I've always wanted to say that.
You're on the clock.
Move.
Hey, there's a big-ass guard up here, blocking the door.
What do I do?
Just wait him out.
He's not going anywhere.
Okay, uh, you work there every day.
- Do you know the guy? - I guess.
I mean, I've seen him. I've never talked to him.
Okay, when you've seen him, does he look at you,
or does he just kind of slide his eyes by?
Um...Eye contact? I don't know.
He always kind of smiles a bit.
- I don't really -- - Good.
What you're gonna do is you're gonna walk right up to him,
and you're gonna flirt your way past.
I can't. He's not my type.
You're gonna have to play through that.
As in he's not a girl.
Oh, oh.
Pretend he has boobs.
Worse.
I don't know. Um... Do you have any tattoos?
Give him a little sneak peek there.
All tattoos are sexy.
Mine is Princess Leia in a slave bikini
straddling a 20-sided die.
I was drunk. It was Comic-Con.
We've all been there.
Okay, I'm gonna walk you through this.
Start with a smile.
Relax, Charlie.
You just got home,
and Scarlett Johansson's waiting for you.
Can I help you, miss?
Hey...Bill. Charlie from I.T.
Oh. Burning the midnight oil, huh?
Just like you -- I mean, when you're not at the gym.
What, do you work out with all your free time?
I try to get to the gym at least three days a week.
You know, just trying to get back to my fighting weight,
you know? It shows. You look amazing.
It shows. You look amazing.
This never happened.
Do you ever do anything else with your free time,
like take a girl out for a drink?
You do anything else with your free time,
like take a girl out for a drink? Stop laughing, Sammy.
Um...Y-you don't know that bar --
Stop Laughing Sammy?
That place is bringing sexy back.
Stop talking, Charlie! Which is easy, 'cause they kept the receipt.
Stop talking, Charlie. Right.
So, um, y-you were saying about going out, drinks?
Um...Yeah, yeah. That'd be great.
Cool. Pencil that in.
Hey, can I ask you a favor?
The ladies' room downstairs is nasty.
Can I use the exec washroom to powder my nose?
Yeah, yeah. Why not? Um, it's right down the hall.
It's the first door on the right.
I feel dirty.
You and me both, sister.
The eagle is landing.
Going radio-silent.
Let us know when you're out.
So, guess we just wait?
Yeah.
Your password is "w1nn1ng" with two 1's?
Ew!
Okay. Let's Yoda this.
Hey, you!
What are you doing in here?
You said first door on the left, right?
No, I said first door on the right.
Oh! Silly me. I am always forgetting things.
Do you know what else I forgot to do?
Give you my phone number.
Uh, we really shouldn't be in here.
Mr. Roman doesn't like people in his office.
I'm sure. Have you seen his bathroom?
Got to go.
Call me.
Well, this is awesome.
You know what? New plan.
From now on, we just stay in the van
and send in the 90-pound girl.
Dean, every chomper on earth knows our face.
How many do you think are in that building?
We wouldn't make it past the lobby.
Yeah, I know.
Doesn't mean I got to be happy
about sending in freaking Veronica Mars.
She'll be fine... Or we'll go in.
- We'll get as far as we can. - Damn right.
Hey, guys.
Hey.
Sending you all the flagged dig files now.
Charlie, you are a genius!
I know. It's a problem.
Damn it.
Hey, Pete!
Guess we're both on deadline, huh?
How's it going?
Good, good.
I'll give you a full progress report in a few hours.
Great.
Hit that deadline, right?
Well, holler if you need anything.
Hey, guys, you still there?
Yeah. What the hell was that?
Oh, just my manager, the monster.
Leave.
I can't. I got to act normal.
I told him I was working. Let's just finish this.
Are you seeing this?
It looks like Dick stopped digging days ago.
Why?
Guess he found what he was looking for.
- Can you check? - Way ahead of you.
Looking at travel reports, expenses...
Here we go.
Something in his suitcase left Iran last week.
Spent the last 72 hours in armored cars and private planes.
Whatever it is, it's coming here for Dick tonight.
So, w-what the hell is it?
I don't know. Whatever it is, he wants it bad,
which means we got to grab it, end of story.
Well, it's landing at a private airport near here --
crap -- right about now.
A courier's set to pick it up.
What's the exact landing time?
42 minutes. Can you make it?
We can try.
Uh, all right, Charlie, one more favor,
and then get the hell out of there.
Outstanding.
And you'll call as soon as the package is in hand?
Absolutely. I'm here waiting.
In fact, I've got time for a light snack.
Hey, Charlie.
I was hoping I'd find you here.
Hey. Watch it.
So now what?
I've been looking for this for a very, very long time.
Now, who could have done that?
A courier's set to pick it up.
- What's the exact landing time? - 42 minutes.
Can you make it? We can try.
Uh, all right, Charlie, one more favor,
and then get the hell out of there.
What do you need? More time.
Then let's get you some.
Travel department's e-mailing Dick.
Suitcase still en route,
but diverted by weather and will be 30 minutes late.
I'll finish mopping you guys off the drive
and get the hell out of Dodge.
Call us when you're clear.
Text you from the border, bro.
Hey.
Watch it.
Hey.
Hey, Charlie.
I was hoping I'd find you here.
Um, hey, Mr. Roman.
Please. Dick.
Pete, we're good here. Why don't you go grab a bite?
Show me what you found.
So now what?
See what we've won.
Did we just...steal a-a hunk of red clay?
That's a good question.
Why don't we answer that a few thousand miles away from here, though?
Where is Charlie?
So there's nothing about my company?
Mnh-mnh.
Ah. How about a Sam or a Dean?
I'm sorry, who?
Sam and Dean Winchester.
Give it a little peek, would you?
Dick Roman.
Come on. The girl's right there.
Worry about her.
Is it me, or did it just drop 10 degrees in here?
It's a bit nippy, yeah.
I'll have maintenance check the A.C.
I can't have you cold, now, can I?
You miserable...
Damn it, Bobby, come on.
Nothing about those Winchesters.
If items were deleted from the drive,
would you be able to tell?
Not if they were deleted properly.
Well, they're crafty.
Have all the data sent to me.
Of course.
So, really, how did you do it?
Uh, do what?
You broke the unbreakable. What's the thought process?
Walk me through it, and ix-nay the jargon.
Um...nothing's unbreakable, really.
Nothing's safe if you poke at it long enough.
Nothing's safe. I like that.
But that isn't what I'm asking, Charlie.
Your spark -- it's one in a million.
Believe me, but when you got it,
you invent guns and iPads and viruses,
and, holy crap, you can be crafty.
- What is that, Charlie? - Um --
'cause I can feed every fact in your brain to someone else,
they still wouldn't be able to be you.
I guess you can't clone me.
Don't think that doesn't piss me off.
Yes.
Fantastic. Bring it up to my office.
I'll be right there.
I think we're on to something here.
Stay here, will you? I'll be back in two shakes.
Nothing is safe, apparently.
Lock the building down now.
Hold on there, Charlie.
Dean, he's one of them!
That would explain it.
You're hanging with the wrong crowd, kiddo.
Not so fast, Dick.
All right, enough! Show yourself.
Let's do this like real monsters.
Ha, ha, ha!
You got to do that again. That tickled.
Dean, come on. Come on!
Charlie, talk to us. You okay?
No.
Why didn't you kill him?
'Cause we can't yet.
But we will.
The really evil ones always need a special sword.
Oh, okay. I'm gonna pass out now.
Because they have it!
Now get it back, before they figure the damn thing out!
Please, sir, d-don't bid me.
Bid you?!
Why would I waste a perfectly good meal?
- Thank you. - Thanks.
I left your dumb flask on the backseat, by the way.
Worst good-luck charm ever.
Here you go.
Thanks.
Listen, um, we can't thank you enough.
Actually, you can.
Never contact me again, like, ever. Deal?
Deal.
Keep your head down out there, okay?
This ain't the first time I've disappeared.
You think my name is really Charlie Bradbury?
Please.
So, good luck saving the world.
Peace out, bitches.
She's kind of like the little sister I never wanted.
We got to talk.
Well, you mean before we get back to the car and the flask?
Exactly.
So, what the hell happened back in the lobby, Dean?
Man, if I had a free shot,
I'd have bitch-slapped the hell out of Dick.
Yeah, but, I mean, Charlie got her freaking arm broken.
He didn't mean to do it.
Exactly.
He's not in control, not about Dick.
That was vengeful-spirit crap.
I know. But it's still Bobby.
But if he really goes there, he won't be anymore,
and then we won't be able to pull him back.
And then what are we supposed to do?
I know.
Look, let's just figure out what that thing we stole is,
and then we'll figure out what the hell to do with Bobby.
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
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