1
00:00:05,129 --> 00:00:07,487
Here's the problem with teleportation.

2
00:00:10,998 --> 00:00:12,247
Lay it on me.

3
00:00:12,884 --> 00:00:15,782
Assuming a device could be invented
which would identify

4
00:00:15,902 --> 00:00:18,521
the quantum state of matter
of an individual in one location

5
00:00:18,682 --> 00:00:21,771
and transmit that pattern to a
distant location for reassembly,

6
00:00:21,891 --> 00:00:23,942
you would not have transported
the individual.

7
00:00:24,103 --> 00:00:26,367
You would have destroyed him
in one location

8
00:00:26,487 --> 00:00:28,456
and recreated him in another.

9
00:00:30,393 --> 00:00:31,645
How about that.

10
00:00:33,237 --> 00:00:35,237
Personally,
I would never use a transporter,

11
00:00:35,357 --> 00:00:37,916
because the original Sheldon
would have to be disintegrated

12
00:00:38,036 --> 00:00:40,037
in order to create a new Sheldon.

13
00:00:41,246 --> 00:00:44,947
Would the new Sheldon be in any way
an improvement on the old Sheldon?

14
00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:48,195
No, he would be exactly the same.

15
00:00:48,544 --> 00:00:49,984
That is a problem.

16
00:00:50,756 --> 00:00:51,846
So you see it too.

17
00:00:52,986 --> 00:00:54,932
Dr. Hofstadter. Dr. Cooper.

18
00:00:55,142 --> 00:00:56,308
Dr. Gablehauser.

19
00:00:56,616 --> 00:00:58,810
Gentlemen, I'd like
you to meet Dennis Kim.

20
00:00:59,206 --> 00:01:01,905
Dennis is a highly sought-after
doctoral candidate,

21
00:01:02,025 --> 00:01:04,149
and we're hoping
he'll do his graduate work here.

22
00:01:04,310 --> 00:01:07,872
- Graduate work. Very impressive.
- And he's only 15 years old.

23
00:01:07,992 --> 00:01:11,430
Not bad... I, myself,
started graduate school at 14.

24
00:01:11,835 --> 00:01:15,286
Well, I lost a year while my family
was tunneling out of North Korea.

25
00:01:17,831 --> 00:01:19,218
Advantage: Kim.

26
00:01:21,042 --> 00:01:23,332
I thought maybe you boys
could show Dennis around.

27
00:01:23,452 --> 00:01:26,668
Let him see why we're the best physics
research facility in the country.

28
00:01:26,788 --> 00:01:28,133
I already know you're not.

29
00:01:28,253 --> 00:01:31,462
You don't have an Open Science Grid
computer or a free electron laser.

30
00:01:31,582 --> 00:01:34,472
The string theory research being done
here is nothing but a dead end.

31
00:01:34,633 --> 00:01:38,036
Excuse me, that is my research,
and it is by no means a dead end.

32
00:01:38,554 --> 00:01:41,144
Obviously you don't see it yet,
but trust me, you will.

33
00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:45,771
Dennis, we've discussed this.

34
00:01:45,891 --> 00:01:48,068
We're in the process
of updating our equipment,

35
00:01:48,229 --> 00:01:50,404
and we welcome your input
on our research goals.

36
00:01:50,566 --> 00:01:52,069
We've agreed to look the other way

37
00:01:52,189 --> 00:01:54,461
if you use up to 20%
of the grant money you attract

38
00:01:54,581 --> 00:01:56,661
to smuggle your grandfather
out of Pyongyang.

39
00:01:58,415 --> 00:02:00,340
We want him here, boys.

40
00:02:00,783 --> 00:02:02,461
- Make it happen.
- Yes, sir.

41
00:02:02,581 --> 00:02:04,368
You can count on us.
We're on it.

42
00:02:04,488 --> 00:02:06,587
What the hell do you mean, "dead end"?

43
00:02:07,180 --> 00:02:10,130
I mean, the whole landscape
of false vacuums in string theory

44
00:02:10,250 --> 00:02:13,537
could be as large as 10
to the 500th power. In addition...

45
00:02:13,912 --> 00:02:15,178
Look, chocolate milk.

46
00:02:18,331 --> 00:02:20,678
I sense a disturbance in the Force.

47
00:02:21,465 --> 00:02:23,966
A bad feeling I have about this.

48
00:02:25,224 --> 00:02:27,439
Episode 112
The Jerusalem Duality

49
00:02:28,991 --> 00:02:32,075
Transcript: swsub.com
Synchro: sub-way.fr | italiansubs.net

50
00:02:49,916 --> 00:02:52,074
Dennis, how long
have you been in America?

51
00:02:52,194 --> 00:02:53,825
- A year and a half.
- No kidding.

52
00:02:53,945 --> 00:02:56,695
{\pos(192,220)}- You speak English really well.
- So do you.

53
00:02:57,494 --> 00:03:00,753
{\pos(192,220)}Except for your tendency
to end sentences with prepositions.

54
00:03:02,241 --> 00:03:04,091
{\pos(192,220)}What are you talking about?

55
00:03:05,485 --> 00:03:06,308
That.

56
00:03:07,767 --> 00:03:09,066
He's not wrong.

57
00:03:10,194 --> 00:03:12,311
All right... And this is my office.

58
00:03:12,522 --> 00:03:14,946
- Is this part of the tour?
- Nope. Goodbye.

59
00:03:15,814 --> 00:03:18,075
{\pos(192,200)}Sheldon,
we've hardly shown him anything.

60
00:03:18,237 --> 00:03:21,084
All right. This is my desk.

61
00:03:21,253 --> 00:03:24,831
These are my books; this is my door.
Please close it behind you. Goodbye.

62
00:03:27,106 --> 00:03:29,581
{\pos(192,210)}Looks like you're doing work
in quantum loop corrections.

63
00:03:29,701 --> 00:03:31,570
{\pos(192,210)}Keen observation. Goodbye.

64
00:03:32,376 --> 00:03:34,826
You see where you went wrong, don't you?

65
00:03:38,422 --> 00:03:39,346
Get him out.

66
00:03:40,094 --> 00:03:43,225
Come on. I'll show you the rec center.
They've got Nautilus equipment.

67
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:45,185
Do I look like I lift weights?

68
00:03:46,366 --> 00:03:47,786
{\pos(192,210)}Not heavy ones.

69
00:03:49,050 --> 00:03:50,809
{\pos(192,210)}It's startling you haven't considered

70
00:03:50,929 --> 00:03:53,679
{\pos(192,210)}a Lorentz invariant
or field theory approach.

71
00:03:53,837 --> 00:03:55,459
You think I haven't considered it?

72
00:03:55,579 --> 00:03:57,615
You really think
I haven't considered it?

73
00:03:57,777 --> 00:03:59,288
Have you considered it?

74
00:04:00,549 --> 00:04:02,812
- Get him out, Leonard.
- Come on, Dennis.

75
00:04:02,932 --> 00:04:04,827
I'll show you the radiation lab.

76
00:04:06,116 --> 00:04:07,999
{\pos(192,210)}You won the Stevenson Award?

77
00:04:08,558 --> 00:04:12,101
Yes. In fact, I am
the youngest person ever to win it.

78
00:04:12,821 --> 00:04:14,749
Really? How old?

79
00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:16,299
Fourteen and a half.

80
00:04:16,460 --> 00:04:18,552
You were the youngest person
ever to win it.

81
00:04:22,353 --> 00:04:24,850
It's like looking into an obnoxious
little mirror, isn't it?

82
00:04:30,099 --> 00:04:32,152
This is really delicious, isn't it?

83
00:04:35,978 --> 00:04:38,928
{\pos(192,210)}Still can't talk to me
unless you're drunk, huh?

84
00:04:40,922 --> 00:04:43,188
Sweetie, you are so damaged.

85
00:04:45,446 --> 00:04:47,388
{\pos(192,210)}Hey, I'm damaged, too.

86
00:04:48,264 --> 00:04:49,947
How about a hug for Howie?

87
00:04:51,003 --> 00:04:52,760
Sure. Raj, hug Howard.

88
00:04:58,055 --> 00:04:59,593
Something you'd like to share?

89
00:05:00,816 --> 00:05:02,769
A tale of woe, perhaps?

90
00:05:03,694 --> 00:05:04,848
15 years old.

91
00:05:05,277 --> 00:05:08,803
{\pos(192,190)}Dennis Kim is 15 years old,
and he's already correcting my work.

92
00:05:09,048 --> 00:05:12,533
{\pos(192,190)}Today, I went from being
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, to...

93
00:05:13,189 --> 00:05:15,776
- You know, that other guy.
- Antonio Salieri?

94
00:05:16,824 --> 00:05:19,279
Oh God, now even you
are smarter than me.

95
00:05:20,592 --> 00:05:22,633
{\pos(192,210)}You know, you don't have so many friends

96
00:05:22,753 --> 00:05:24,869
that you can afford to
start insulting them.

97
00:05:25,988 --> 00:05:27,871
Just eat, Sheldon, you'll feel better.

98
00:05:28,082 --> 00:05:29,486
Why waste food?

99
00:05:29,606 --> 00:05:32,473
In Texas, when a cow goes dry,
they don't keep feeding it, they just...

100
00:05:32,593 --> 00:05:35,343
take her out and shoot
her between the eyes.

101
00:05:35,871 --> 00:05:38,512
I'm confused.
Did Sheldon stop giving milk?

102
00:05:40,310 --> 00:05:42,267
You can't let this kid get to you.

103
00:05:42,387 --> 00:05:45,798
You always knew that someday someone
younger and smarter would come along.

104
00:05:45,918 --> 00:05:48,765
Yes, but I assumed I would've
been dead hundreds of years

105
00:05:48,885 --> 00:05:52,188
and that there'd be an asterisk
by his name because he'd be a cyborg.

106
00:05:53,729 --> 00:05:57,104
So you've got a little competition.
I really don't see what the big deal is.

107
00:05:57,224 --> 00:06:00,252
Of course you don't.
You've never excelled at anything.

108
00:06:02,354 --> 00:06:05,910
I don't understand exactly how did
he get any friends in the first place?

109
00:06:06,841 --> 00:06:08,299
We liked Leonard.

110
00:06:10,541 --> 00:06:12,499
What are you gonna do, just give up?

111
00:06:14,359 --> 00:06:16,897
It's what a rational person does
when his entire life's work

112
00:06:17,017 --> 00:06:20,235
is invalidated
by a postpubescent Asian wunderkind.

113
00:06:21,530 --> 00:06:23,358
He ceases his fruitless efforts,

114
00:06:23,478 --> 00:06:25,923
he donates his body
to scientific research,

115
00:06:26,241 --> 00:06:27,643
and he waits to die.

116
00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:31,572
I'm confused again.
Is he waiting,

117
00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:34,171
or do we get to shoot
him between the eyes?

118
00:06:39,262 --> 00:06:42,271
I've decided you're right.
My career is not over.

119
00:06:42,481 --> 00:06:43,398
Great!

120
00:06:43,609 --> 00:06:46,286
Since the arrival of Dennis Kim
has rendered my research pointless,

121
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,744
I just have to find something else
to focus on.

122
00:06:49,138 --> 00:06:50,029
Great!

123
00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:52,874
So I've decided.
I'm going to collaborate with you.

124
00:06:56,087 --> 00:06:56,947
Great.

125
00:06:57,748 --> 00:06:59,588
So what exactly is it you do?

126
00:07:00,811 --> 00:07:04,677
You chatter on about it all the time,
but I've never really paid attention.

127
00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:07,804
Right now, I'm designing an experiment

128
00:07:08,015 --> 00:07:10,385
to study the soft component
of cosmic radiation at see level,

129
00:07:10,505 --> 00:07:13,555
- but I really don't need any help.
- Sure you do.

130
00:07:14,306 --> 00:07:17,093
See, what's this here in the schematic?
Is that a laser array?

131
00:07:17,213 --> 00:07:18,683
- Yes.
- Now...

132
00:07:22,171 --> 00:07:25,113
What happens if you use argon lasers
instead of helium-neon?

133
00:07:25,635 --> 00:07:27,616
- It would blow up.
- Are you sure?

134
00:07:28,159 --> 00:07:29,201
Pretty sure.

135
00:07:29,363 --> 00:07:31,094
"Pretty sure" is not very scientific.

136
00:07:31,214 --> 00:07:34,582
Is this how you normally work?
Just hunches and guesses and stuff?

137
00:07:36,936 --> 00:07:39,795
I understand that you're going
through a bit of a career cris,

138
00:07:39,957 --> 00:07:42,047
you're searching for some other area

139
00:07:42,209 --> 00:07:44,137
where you can feel
valuable and productive,

140
00:07:44,257 --> 00:07:46,745
but I need to tell you something.
I want you to listen carefully.

141
00:07:46,865 --> 00:07:49,281
- All right.
- Go away.

142
00:07:52,190 --> 00:07:54,352
If you're concerned about
sharing credit with me,

143
00:07:54,513 --> 00:07:56,662
your name can go first...
I'm going.

144
00:08:01,056 --> 00:08:03,579
It's a small, brown paper bag, Ma!

145
00:08:03,699 --> 00:08:05,475
I'm looking in it right now.

146
00:08:06,866 --> 00:08:10,137
Why would I make that up?
There's no Ding Dong in it.

147
00:08:13,383 --> 00:08:16,512
How are two Ding Dongs tomorrow
gonna help me today?

148
00:08:18,833 --> 00:08:19,749
So...

149
00:08:20,326 --> 00:08:21,879
This is Engineering, huh?

150
00:08:22,285 --> 00:08:23,855
I'll talk to you later.

151
00:08:24,334 --> 00:08:25,522
Engineering.

152
00:08:25,642 --> 00:08:27,601
Where the noble semiskilled laborers

153
00:08:27,721 --> 00:08:30,138
execute the vision
of those who think and dream.

154
00:08:31,340 --> 00:08:33,390
Hello, Oompa-Loompas of science.

155
00:08:35,887 --> 00:08:37,769
Sheldon, what are you doing here?

156
00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:40,181
I just came by to say hello.

157
00:08:40,391 --> 00:08:43,024
I've been in this lab for 3 years.
You've never come by to say hello.

158
00:08:43,185 --> 00:08:45,645
Up until now,
I've had better things to do.

159
00:08:47,149 --> 00:08:49,008
So, what are we making today?

160
00:08:49,128 --> 00:08:51,178
A small payload support structure

161
00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:53,402
for a European science
experimental package

162
00:08:53,522 --> 00:08:57,105
- that's going up on a space shuttle.
- Really? How does it work?

163
00:08:57,225 --> 00:08:59,499
When this is done, it will be
attached to the payload bay,

164
00:08:59,661 --> 00:09:02,211
and the sensor apparatus
will rest on it.

165
00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:06,578
So, it's a shelf.

166
00:09:10,683 --> 00:09:12,763
No, you don't understand.
During acceleration,

167
00:09:12,925 --> 00:09:15,291
it needs to stay perfectly level
and provide...

168
00:09:15,411 --> 00:09:16,767
Yeah, it's a shelf.

169
00:09:17,597 --> 00:09:19,324
I notice you're using titanium.

170
00:09:19,444 --> 00:09:21,845
Did you give any consideration
to carbon nanotubes?

171
00:09:21,965 --> 00:09:25,484
They're lighter, cheaper,
and have twice the tensile strength.

172
00:09:26,112 --> 00:09:27,810
There's a diploma in my office

173
00:09:27,930 --> 00:09:30,448
that says I have a
master's in engineering.

174
00:09:30,657 --> 00:09:34,409
You also have a note from your mother
that says, "I love you, Bubula."

175
00:09:36,698 --> 00:09:40,123
But neither of those is a cogent
argument for titanium over nanotubes.

176
00:09:42,295 --> 00:09:43,796
Go away!

177
00:09:45,028 --> 00:09:46,630
Did Leonard tell you to say that?

178
00:09:47,236 --> 00:09:48,965
No, I thought of it all by myself.

179
00:09:51,850 --> 00:09:53,921
That can't be a coincidence.

180
00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:56,898
There must be
some causal link I'm missing.

181
00:10:00,078 --> 00:10:01,643
Go away!

182
00:10:10,394 --> 00:10:12,300
Curiouser and curiouser.

183
00:10:17,973 --> 00:10:20,421
- Is he here?
- If he were, I wouldn't be.

184
00:10:21,531 --> 00:10:24,170
Do you know what he did?
He watched me work for 10 min,

185
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:28,259
and then started to design a simple
piece of software that could replace me.

186
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,007
Is that even possible?

187
00:10:31,293 --> 00:10:32,901
As it turns out, yes.

188
00:10:34,750 --> 00:10:36,554
Something's got to be done about him.

189
00:10:36,765 --> 00:10:39,301
Like what? He'll never be
able to cope with the fact

190
00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:42,644
that some 15-year-old kid is smarter
and more accomplished than he is.

191
00:10:43,379 --> 00:10:45,306
What if something happened to this boy

192
00:10:45,426 --> 00:10:47,399
so he was no longer a threat to Sheldon?

193
00:10:49,081 --> 00:10:51,043
Then our problem would be solved.

194
00:10:52,045 --> 00:10:54,823
Hang on, are we talking
about murdering Dennis Kim?

195
00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:57,464
I'm not saying no.

196
00:10:58,648 --> 00:11:01,822
We don't have to go that far.
There are other means available.

197
00:11:01,942 --> 00:11:04,110
We can't send him back to North Korea.

198
00:11:04,596 --> 00:11:06,246
He knows how to get out.

199
00:11:08,325 --> 00:11:11,589
The only thing we need to do
is make this Kim kid lose his focus.

200
00:11:11,751 --> 00:11:14,634
Won't happen. He is not interested
in anything but physics.

201
00:11:14,845 --> 00:11:16,524
- What about biology?
- What?

202
00:11:16,644 --> 00:11:18,309
You know, biology.

203
00:11:19,903 --> 00:11:23,078
The one thing that can completely
derail a world-class mind.

204
00:11:23,471 --> 00:11:24,352
He's 15.

205
00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:27,172
Yeah, so? When I was 15,
I met Denise Palmeri

206
00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:30,421
and my grade point average
fell from a 5.0 to a 1.8.

207
00:11:31,354 --> 00:11:32,863
She was sleeping with you?

208
00:11:33,203 --> 00:11:34,355
No, I just...

209
00:11:34,744 --> 00:11:37,742
wasted a lot of time thinking
about what it would be like if she did.

210
00:11:39,209 --> 00:11:41,183
Oh, good, you're all here.

211
00:11:41,303 --> 00:11:43,172
Look, if the three of you drop

212
00:11:43,292 --> 00:11:45,275
whatever it is you're working on
and join me,

213
00:11:45,395 --> 00:11:49,112
we could lick cold fusion in less
than a decade. 12 years, tops.

214
00:11:51,954 --> 00:11:52,881
Go away?

215
00:11:57,264 --> 00:11:58,466
Could it be me?

216
00:12:02,355 --> 00:12:03,361
What's up?

217
00:12:03,553 --> 00:12:07,020
We need a hot 15-year-old Asian girl
with a thing for smart guys.

218
00:12:07,756 --> 00:12:08,563
What?

219
00:12:08,724 --> 00:12:12,093
Howard, that's racist.
Any 15-year-old girl will do the trick.

220
00:12:18,875 --> 00:12:21,625
It's possible she may have
misunderstood us.

221
00:12:27,931 --> 00:12:29,869
Dr. Cooper.
Are we interrupting?

222
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:32,558
No, please come in.
I think you'll appreciate this.

223
00:12:32,678 --> 00:12:34,089
This is very exciting.

224
00:12:34,251 --> 00:12:36,354
- What are you working on?
- Something remarkable.

225
00:12:36,474 --> 00:12:39,011
Since my prospects for the Nobel prize
in physics have disappeared

226
00:12:39,221 --> 00:12:40,803
thank you very much,

227
00:12:40,940 --> 00:12:43,204
I've decided to refocus my efforts

228
00:12:43,324 --> 00:12:45,810
and use my people skills
to win the Nobel peace prize.

229
00:12:46,754 --> 00:12:48,436
I will solve
the Middle East crisis

230
00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:50,843
by building an exact replica
of Jerusalem

231
00:12:50,963 --> 00:12:53,213
in the middle of the Mexican desert.

232
00:12:54,121 --> 00:12:55,110
To what end?

233
00:12:55,450 --> 00:12:57,109
It's like the baseball movie.

234
00:12:57,229 --> 00:12:59,088
"Build it and they will come."

235
00:13:00,464 --> 00:13:01,491
Who will come?

236
00:13:01,820 --> 00:13:03,147
The Jewish people.

237
00:13:03,900 --> 00:13:06,955
- What if they don't come?
- We'll make it nice, put out a spread.

238
00:13:08,613 --> 00:13:10,709
Okay, well, speaking of spreads,

239
00:13:10,829 --> 00:13:13,661
we're having a small welcoming party
this afternoon for Mr. Kim

240
00:13:13,781 --> 00:13:16,172
who's agreed to join us here
at the university.

241
00:13:16,333 --> 00:13:17,688
Of course he has.

242
00:13:17,808 --> 00:13:20,574
The Oracle told us
little Neo was the one.

243
00:13:23,063 --> 00:13:25,213
You can see the matrix, can't you?

244
00:13:26,009 --> 00:13:29,243
Well, obviously you're very busy
with your...

245
00:13:29,859 --> 00:13:31,130
Come, Dennis.

246
00:13:32,704 --> 00:13:36,055
You'll have to excuse Dr. Cooper.
He's been under a lot of...

247
00:13:36,693 --> 00:13:37,869
He's nuts.

248
00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:48,239
They'll come, they'll settle,
and I'll win the prize.

249
00:13:50,115 --> 00:13:52,877
I really don't understand
your objections, professor Goldfarb.

250
00:13:53,087 --> 00:13:56,672
Why wouldn't the Sonora desert
make a perfectly good promised land?

251
00:13:57,598 --> 00:13:58,637
Go away.

252
00:14:00,356 --> 00:14:02,769
We could call it Nuevo Jerusalem.

253
00:14:03,909 --> 00:14:05,264
Please go away.

253
00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:08,210
Said Pharaoh to Moses.

254
00:14:09,954 --> 00:14:11,771
Why are all these young women here?

255
00:14:11,931 --> 00:14:13,723
It's Take Your Daughter To Work Day.

256
00:14:14,416 --> 00:14:16,159
Really?
I was not aware of that.

257
00:14:16,571 --> 00:14:18,669
Yes. There was a very official e-mail

258
00:14:18,829 --> 00:14:21,360
sent to everyone
whose insurance files indicated

259
00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:24,116
they had daughters between
the ages of 14 and 16.

260
00:14:25,666 --> 00:14:27,101
- Smooth.
- Thank you.

261
00:14:29,229 --> 00:14:31,013
There's the man of the hour.

262
00:14:32,748 --> 00:14:35,086
Okay, so we now have
a socially-awkward genius

263
00:14:35,246 --> 00:14:37,545
in a room full of attractive,
age-appropriate women.

264
00:14:37,665 --> 00:14:40,007
All he has to do now is
hook up with one of them.

265
00:14:48,059 --> 00:14:50,285
Anyone else see the flaw in this plan?

266
00:14:51,954 --> 00:14:54,326
- We need a social catalyst.
- Like what?

267
00:14:54,446 --> 00:14:56,595
We can't get 15-year-old girls drunk.

268
00:14:57,569 --> 00:14:59,318
- Or can we?
- No, we can't.

269
00:15:00,524 --> 00:15:03,546
I don't think you mean "we can't."
I think you mean "we shouldn't."

270
00:15:04,754 --> 00:15:07,938
You're a Jew.
If there was another Wailing Wall

271
00:15:08,153 --> 00:15:09,780
exactly like the one in Jerusalem

272
00:15:09,900 --> 00:15:12,379
but close to taco stands
and cheap prescription drugs,

273
00:15:12,499 --> 00:15:14,291
would you still be able to wail at it?

274
00:15:16,655 --> 00:15:18,465
Okay, it's definitely me.

275
00:15:21,104 --> 00:15:23,558
We cannot leave this to chance.
Let's pick a girl

276
00:15:23,718 --> 00:15:26,597
and figure out how to get her
together with Dennis.

277
00:15:27,203 --> 00:15:28,474
How about that one?

278
00:15:29,288 --> 00:15:30,366
I know the type.

279
00:15:30,486 --> 00:15:32,743
Cheerleader, student council,
goes out with the jocks,

280
00:15:32,863 --> 00:15:35,020
won't even look at anybody
in the gifted program.

281
00:15:35,182 --> 00:15:37,410
If after 2 years of begging,
she agrees to go out with you,

282
00:15:37,530 --> 00:15:40,372
it turns out to be a setup and you're
in your mom's car with your pants off

283
00:15:40,492 --> 00:15:42,549
while the whole football team
laughs at y...

284
00:15:45,610 --> 00:15:48,207
- Are you crying?
- No, I have allergies.

285
00:15:50,208 --> 00:15:51,131
Okay...

286
00:15:51,770 --> 00:15:52,850
How about her?

287
00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:56,216
Sure, if he wants to spend two years

288
00:15:56,336 --> 00:15:58,874
doing her homework
while she drinks herself into a stupor

289
00:15:58,994 --> 00:16:00,469
with nonfat White Russians.

290
00:16:00,589 --> 00:16:03,094
You're holding her head
out of the toilet while she's puking

291
00:16:03,214 --> 00:16:05,260
and telling you she wishes
"more guys were like you."

292
00:16:05,380 --> 00:16:07,552
Then she gets into Cornell
because you wrote her essay

293
00:16:07,743 --> 00:16:09,703
for her and you drive up
to visit her one weekend

294
00:16:09,863 --> 00:16:11,930
and she acts
like she doesn't even know you.

295
00:16:14,898 --> 00:16:16,429
Okay, so not her, either.

296
00:16:18,172 --> 00:16:19,256
How about her?

297
00:16:19,997 --> 00:16:21,452
Interesting,
kind of pretty,

298
00:16:21,612 --> 00:16:23,861
a little chubby,
so probably low self-esteem.

299
00:16:23,981 --> 00:16:26,641
I think that's our girl.
One of us should go talk to her.

300
00:16:26,761 --> 00:16:28,557
I can't talk to her... you do it.

301
00:16:28,734 --> 00:16:32,036
I can't just go up and talk to her.
Howard, you talk to her.

302
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:36,164
She'll never go for the kid
once she gets a peek at this.

303
00:16:38,690 --> 00:16:40,336
In India, this would be simpler.

304
00:16:40,496 --> 00:16:43,637
5 min with her dad, 20 goats
and a laptop, and we'd be done.

305
00:16:44,450 --> 00:16:47,510
- We're not in India.
- Why don't we do it your way then?

306
00:16:47,670 --> 00:16:50,303
We'll arrange for this girl
to move in across the hall from Dennis

307
00:16:50,463 --> 00:16:53,007
so he can pathetically
moon over her for months on end.

308
00:16:55,063 --> 00:16:57,805
- Okay, that was uncalled for.
- You started it, dude.

309
00:16:58,949 --> 00:17:01,022
Could I have everyone's
attention, please?

310
00:17:02,031 --> 00:17:04,907
What a wonderful occasion this is,

311
00:17:05,264 --> 00:17:07,336
and how fortunate
that it should happen to fall

312
00:17:07,496 --> 00:17:09,359
on Take Your Daughter to Work Day.

313
00:17:10,224 --> 00:17:13,988
We're here to welcome
Mr. Dennis Kim to our little family.

314
00:17:14,495 --> 00:17:15,924
Welcome, Dennis Kim.

315
00:17:17,618 --> 00:17:18,541
Mr. Kim

316
00:17:18,702 --> 00:17:21,603
was not only the valedictorian
at Stanford University,

317
00:17:21,763 --> 00:17:24,710
he is also the youngest recipient

318
00:17:24,870 --> 00:17:26,791
of the prestigious Stevenson Award.

319
00:17:27,051 --> 00:17:29,068
Youngest till the cyborgs rise up!

320
00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:32,305
And now, without any further ado,

321
00:17:32,425 --> 00:17:34,702
let me introduce
the man of the hour,

322
00:17:34,822 --> 00:17:36,483
Mr. Dennis Kim.

323
00:17:42,488 --> 00:17:43,348
What?!

324
00:17:45,102 --> 00:17:47,819
Would you like to tell us a little bit
about your upcoming research?

325
00:17:48,311 --> 00:17:50,596
No, thanks.
I'm going to the mall with Emma.

326
00:17:56,558 --> 00:17:57,953
The kid got a girl.

327
00:17:59,364 --> 00:18:00,454
Unbelievable.

328
00:18:01,263 --> 00:18:03,169
Did anyone see how he did it?

329
00:18:05,423 --> 00:18:06,797
Don't worry, I've got this.

330
00:18:07,326 --> 00:18:08,874
Ladies and gentlemen,

331
00:18:09,376 --> 00:18:10,815
honored daughters,

332
00:18:11,292 --> 00:18:14,595
while Mr. Kim,
by virtue of his youth and naivete,

333
00:18:14,715 --> 00:18:17,926
has fallen prey to the inexplicable need
for human contact,

334
00:18:18,046 --> 00:18:21,877
let me step in and assure you that
my research will go on uninterrupted,

335
00:18:21,997 --> 00:18:25,912
and that social relationships
will continue to baffle and repulse me.

336
00:18:27,801 --> 00:18:28,728
Thank you.

337
00:18:31,815 --> 00:18:33,783
- He's back.
- Mission accomplished.

338
00:18:34,119 --> 00:18:37,203
Forget the mission. How did
that little yutz get a girl on his own?

339
00:18:37,983 --> 00:18:40,352
I guess times have changed
since we were young.

340
00:18:40,472 --> 00:18:42,231
Smart is the new sexy.

341
00:18:43,324 --> 00:18:46,120
Then why do we go home
alone every night? We're still smart.

342
00:18:46,784 --> 00:18:48,276
Maybe we're too smart.

343
00:18:48,701 --> 00:18:50,166
So smart it's off-putting.

344
00:18:51,690 --> 00:18:53,337
Yeah, let's go with that.

345
00:18:58,431 --> 00:18:59,502
Unbelievable.

346
00:18:59,835 --> 00:19:02,472
Components I built
are on the International Space Station

347
00:19:02,592 --> 00:19:05,106
and I get a ticket for launching
a model rocket in the park.

348
00:19:05,267 --> 00:19:07,552
I don't know if the ticket was
so much for the launch

349
00:19:07,672 --> 00:19:09,573
as it was for you telling
the policewoman,

350
00:19:09,693 --> 00:19:12,606
"You have to frisk me.
I have another rocket in my pants."

351
00:19:13,304 --> 00:19:14,408
Look at that.

352
00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:17,771
It's Dennis Kim.

353
00:19:18,984 --> 00:19:20,835
I almost didn't recognize him.

354
00:19:21,533 --> 00:19:23,738
I kind of feel bad
about what we did to him.

355
00:19:28,105 --> 00:19:30,071
Yeah, we really ruined his life.

356
00:19:31,917 --> 00:19:33,558
Screw him...
He was weak.