1 00:00:00,414 --> 00:00:02,550 On the other hand, some physicists are concerned 2 00:00:02,670 --> 00:00:04,644 that if this supercollider actually works, 3 00:00:04,764 --> 00:00:06,857 it'll create a black hole and swallow up the Earth, 4 00:00:06,977 --> 00:00:08,670 ending life as we know it. 5 00:00:08,790 --> 00:00:10,571 What a bunch of crybabies. 6 00:00:11,066 --> 00:00:12,766 No guts, no glory, man. 7 00:00:13,832 --> 00:00:15,197 Hey, check it out. 8 00:00:15,496 --> 00:00:18,477 The School of Pharmacology is looking for volunteers. 9 00:00:18,597 --> 00:00:21,066 "We are testing a new medication for social anxiety, 10 00:00:21,226 --> 00:00:25,110 "panic attacks, agoraphobia and obsessive compulsive disorder." 11 00:00:26,879 --> 00:00:29,116 Why would they be looking for test subjects here? 12 00:00:30,468 --> 00:00:31,795 I don't know, Raj. 13 00:00:31,915 --> 00:00:34,669 Maybe the comic book store doesn't have a bulletin board. 14 00:00:38,307 --> 00:00:40,585 - What's going on? - Hot girl in Sheldon's office. 15 00:00:41,872 --> 00:00:42,963 Sheldon's office? 16 00:00:45,223 --> 00:00:46,382 Is she lost? 17 00:00:47,634 --> 00:00:48,699 I don't think so. 18 00:00:48,819 --> 00:00:50,929 I followed her here from the parking lot. 19 00:00:52,924 --> 00:00:54,457 Maybe she's his lawyer. 20 00:00:54,765 --> 00:00:56,952 Well, she's free to examine my briefs. 21 00:00:57,644 --> 00:01:00,522 I know, I'm disgusting. I should be punished... by her. 22 00:01:00,683 --> 00:01:02,063 Look, I did it again. 23 00:01:03,051 --> 00:01:04,266 That should do it. 24 00:01:04,386 --> 00:01:05,933 Thank you for coming by. 25 00:01:12,521 --> 00:01:13,419 Hello. 26 00:01:15,025 --> 00:01:16,390 Hey, buddy... 27 00:01:18,649 --> 00:01:20,013 "Buddy..."? 28 00:01:20,911 --> 00:01:23,670 Sorry I'm late. I'm working on a project 29 00:01:23,831 --> 00:01:26,406 that may take me up on the next space shuttle. 30 00:01:26,985 --> 00:01:29,676 How can you be late? I wasn't expecting you at all. 31 00:01:30,529 --> 00:01:33,263 Nobody ever expects me. Sometimes you just look and... 32 00:01:33,424 --> 00:01:34,941 Bam! Howard Wolowitz. 33 00:01:37,135 --> 00:01:38,518 Are you gonna introduce us? 34 00:01:39,071 --> 00:01:40,603 All right. This is Missy. 35 00:01:41,010 --> 00:01:44,524 Missy, this is Leonard and Rajesh, and you've already met Howard. 36 00:01:44,685 --> 00:01:47,510 - It's nice to meet you. - You, too, as well, also. 37 00:01:50,380 --> 00:01:52,032 So, how do you two know each other? 38 00:01:52,877 --> 00:01:56,260 He once spent nine months with my legs wrapped around his head. 39 00:01:59,771 --> 00:02:00,761 Excuse me? 40 00:02:01,891 --> 00:02:04,330 She's my twin sister. She thinks she's funny, 41 00:02:04,450 --> 00:02:06,618 but frankly, I've never been able to see it. 42 00:02:06,738 --> 00:02:09,424 That's because you have no measurable sense of humor, Shelly. 43 00:02:09,751 --> 00:02:12,349 How exactly would one measure a sense of humor? 44 00:02:12,676 --> 00:02:14,134 A humormometer? 45 00:02:17,175 --> 00:02:19,295 I think you're delightfully droll. 46 00:02:19,415 --> 00:02:21,893 Or, as the French say, très drôle. 47 00:02:22,566 --> 00:02:24,064 So let me see if I got this. 48 00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:27,067 Leonard, Howard and... 49 00:02:27,228 --> 00:02:29,269 I'm sorry, what was your name again? 50 00:02:56,184 --> 00:02:57,063 Rajesh. 51 00:02:58,502 --> 00:03:00,969 Episode 115: The Shiksa Indeterminacy 52 00:03:01,636 --> 00:03:04,688 Transcript: swsub.com Synch: sub-way.fr | italiansubs.net 53 00:03:22,427 --> 00:03:24,614 So Missy, what brings you all the way from Texas? 54 00:03:24,734 --> 00:03:26,977 Was it perhaps destiny? I think it was destiny. 55 00:03:27,396 --> 00:03:29,712 My friend's getting married at Disneyland tomorrow night. 56 00:03:29,873 --> 00:03:32,147 Destiny, thy name is Anaheim. 57 00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:38,012 And I had to drop off some papers for Shelly to sign for my Dad's estate. 58 00:03:38,173 --> 00:03:41,682 The papers could've been mailed. Mom sent you to spy on me, didn't she? 59 00:03:41,843 --> 00:03:44,143 I guess that's why they call you a genius. 60 00:03:44,304 --> 00:03:46,696 They call me a genius because I'm a genius. 61 00:03:47,874 --> 00:03:50,483 {\pos(192,200)}Tell Mom that I currently weigh 165 pounds 62 00:03:50,685 --> 00:03:52,898 and that I'm having regular bowel movements. 63 00:03:54,179 --> 00:03:55,696 Enjoy the wedding. Good-bye. 64 00:03:58,833 --> 00:04:02,328 If the wedding's not until tomorrow, why don't you stay with us tonight? 65 00:04:02,489 --> 00:04:05,039 I don't think so. Shelly doesn't like company. 66 00:04:05,201 --> 00:04:07,623 Even as a little boy, he'd send his imaginary friends home 67 00:04:07,743 --> 00:04:09,001 at the end of the day. 68 00:04:09,475 --> 00:04:12,588 They were not friends. They were imaginary colleagues. 69 00:04:13,508 --> 00:04:15,977 Look, you're here. We have plenty of room. 70 00:04:16,097 --> 00:04:17,092 No, we don't. 71 00:04:17,255 --> 00:04:19,582 Come on, Shelly. She's family. 72 00:04:20,126 --> 00:04:22,874 So what, I don't issue invitations to your mother. 73 00:04:23,990 --> 00:04:26,727 It would be nice not to have to drive to Anaheim in rush hour. 74 00:04:26,888 --> 00:04:28,658 And don't ever call me Shelly. 75 00:04:29,556 --> 00:04:31,357 So it's settled: you'll stay with us. 76 00:04:31,518 --> 00:04:34,679 Yeah, I'll walk you to your car. You're in structure 3, level C, right? 77 00:04:38,831 --> 00:04:40,382 What just happened? 78 00:04:42,572 --> 00:04:44,438 So anyway, we're eight years old 79 00:04:44,558 --> 00:04:46,644 and Sheldon converts my Easy Bake Oven 80 00:04:46,764 --> 00:04:48,749 to some kind of high-powered furnace. 81 00:04:49,625 --> 00:04:50,896 Just classic. 82 00:04:52,428 --> 00:04:55,262 I needed a place to fire ceramic semiconductor substrates 83 00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:57,174 for homemade integrated circuits. 84 00:04:57,402 --> 00:04:59,477 He was trying to build some sort of armed robot 85 00:04:59,597 --> 00:05:01,010 to keep me out of his room. 86 00:05:01,327 --> 00:05:04,360 Made necessary by her insistence on going into my room. 87 00:05:05,052 --> 00:05:07,582 Anyway, I go to make those little corn muffins they give you. 88 00:05:07,702 --> 00:05:11,016 There's a big flash. Next thing you know my eyebrows are gone. 89 00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:13,876 Not your eyebrows! 90 00:05:15,188 --> 00:05:17,600 Yep, I had to go through the entire second grade 91 00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:20,114 with crooked eyebrows my mom drew on. 92 00:05:20,478 --> 00:05:21,880 Is that what that was? 93 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:25,995 I just assumed that the second grade curriculum had rendered you quizzical. 94 00:05:29,283 --> 00:05:32,081 You left your underwear in the dryer downstairs. 95 00:05:38,306 --> 00:05:39,633 Those are not mine. 96 00:05:41,222 --> 00:05:44,329 Really? They have your little name label in them. 97 00:05:45,525 --> 00:05:47,801 Yeah, no, I do... I use those... 98 00:05:48,178 --> 00:05:51,655 just to polish up my spearfishing equipment. 99 00:05:53,790 --> 00:05:54,967 I spearfish. 100 00:05:59,099 --> 00:06:01,655 When I'm not crossbow hunting, I spearfish. 101 00:06:04,953 --> 00:06:07,036 This is Sheldon's twin sister, Missy. 102 00:06:07,196 --> 00:06:08,746 This is our neighbor, Penny. 103 00:06:08,907 --> 00:06:12,152 - You don't look that much alike. - Can I get a hallelujah? 104 00:06:13,501 --> 00:06:15,588 Fraternal twins come from two separate eggs. 105 00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:17,795 They are no more alike than any other siblings. 106 00:06:20,626 --> 00:06:22,467 Hey, guess what. I've been accepted 107 00:06:22,587 --> 00:06:26,387 as a test subject for a new miracle drug to overcome pathological shyness. 108 00:06:27,174 --> 00:06:30,518 - Good for you, Raj. - Yes, I'm very hopeful. Hello, Missy. 109 00:06:41,138 --> 00:06:43,531 They mentioned there may be side effects. 110 00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:46,732 So, Missy, 111 00:06:47,521 --> 00:06:50,963 have you ever met a man from the exotic subcontinent of India? 112 00:06:52,451 --> 00:06:54,792 Well, there's Dr. Patel at our church. 113 00:06:54,953 --> 00:06:56,710 Yes, Patel... good man. 114 00:06:57,163 --> 00:06:59,964 Do you like motorcycles? 'Cause I ride a hog. 115 00:07:00,805 --> 00:07:04,009 A hog? You have a two-cylinder scooter with a basket in the front. 116 00:07:05,893 --> 00:07:08,179 You still have to wear a helmet. 117 00:07:09,893 --> 00:07:12,029 Have you ever heard of the Kama Sutra? 118 00:07:12,149 --> 00:07:14,664 - The sex book. - The Indian sex book. 119 00:07:15,140 --> 00:07:16,966 In other words, if you "wonder, wonder 120 00:07:17,086 --> 00:07:19,751 who wrote the book of love," it was us. 121 00:07:21,989 --> 00:07:25,192 - Sheldon's sister is pretty cute, huh? - I wasn't staring. 122 00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:30,007 I didn't say you were. I just said she was cute. 123 00:07:32,078 --> 00:07:33,039 Maybe, 124 00:07:33,577 --> 00:07:35,791 if you like women who are tall... 125 00:07:37,010 --> 00:07:38,211 and perfect. 126 00:07:41,235 --> 00:07:43,369 Sheldon, why are you ignoring your sister? 127 00:07:43,489 --> 00:07:46,544 I'm not ignoring my sister. I'm ignoring all of you. 128 00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:49,180 I brought snacks! 129 00:07:49,585 --> 00:07:52,576 Oh, my, gherkins and... 130 00:07:53,457 --> 00:07:55,338 Onion dip. It's onion dip. 131 00:07:58,072 --> 00:07:59,643 We don't entertain much. 132 00:08:01,959 --> 00:08:04,253 Missy. Do you enjoy pajamas? 133 00:08:05,487 --> 00:08:07,891 - I guess. - We Indians invented them. 134 00:08:09,104 --> 00:08:10,342 You're welcome. 135 00:08:11,977 --> 00:08:14,504 Yeah, well, my people invented circumcision. 136 00:08:19,424 --> 00:08:20,786 You're welcome. 137 00:08:22,517 --> 00:08:25,090 Missy, I'm gonna go get my nails done. Do you want to come? 138 00:08:25,293 --> 00:08:27,501 God, yes. Thanks. 139 00:08:27,982 --> 00:08:29,173 You're welcome. 140 00:08:30,372 --> 00:08:32,856 - Bye, guys. - Bye, Missy, see you. 141 00:08:33,348 --> 00:08:36,015 - Goodbye, Leonard. - Oh, yeah, no, bye, Penny. 142 00:08:38,021 --> 00:08:39,542 You two have to back off. 143 00:08:39,662 --> 00:08:41,565 Why should I back off? You back off, dude. 144 00:08:41,727 --> 00:08:44,276 Excuse me, this is my apartment, and she's my roommate's sister. 145 00:08:44,437 --> 00:08:47,123 - So what? You've already got Penny! - How do I have Penny? 146 00:08:47,243 --> 00:08:49,114 In what universe do I have Penny? 147 00:08:50,511 --> 00:08:52,564 - So I can have Penny? - Hell, no! 148 00:08:53,946 --> 00:08:56,155 Excuse me. Can I interject something? 149 00:08:57,799 --> 00:09:01,001 I'm ordering pizza online. Is everyone okay with pepperoni? 150 00:09:03,233 --> 00:09:06,290 - Sheldon, can I talk to you in private? - I guess. 151 00:09:06,931 --> 00:09:09,177 Don't worry. I was going to order you cheese-less. 152 00:09:09,297 --> 00:09:10,643 - Thank you. - It's okay. 153 00:09:10,763 --> 00:09:13,769 Lactose intolerance is nothing to be embarrassed about. 154 00:09:15,673 --> 00:09:18,514 I'm a fancy Indian man. We invented pajamas. 155 00:09:19,442 --> 00:09:21,816 Hey, look at me. I don't have a foreskin. 156 00:09:32,943 --> 00:09:36,161 Are you aware that your sister is an incredibly attractive woman? 157 00:09:39,002 --> 00:09:41,245 She certainly has the symmetry and low body fat 158 00:09:41,365 --> 00:09:43,580 that Western culture deems desirable. 159 00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:45,854 It's noteworthy, at other points in history, 160 00:09:45,974 --> 00:09:47,974 heavier women were the standard for beauty 161 00:09:48,094 --> 00:09:50,383 because their girth suggested affluence. 162 00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:52,650 That's fascinating... 163 00:09:52,770 --> 00:09:55,508 I didn't say it was fascinating. I said it was noteworthy. 164 00:09:56,003 --> 00:09:57,741 All right... noted. 165 00:09:58,793 --> 00:10:01,717 But my point is that Koothrappali and Wolowitz, 166 00:10:02,598 --> 00:10:04,583 they're hitting on your sister. 167 00:10:08,570 --> 00:10:09,403 Okay. 168 00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:12,259 You know, I don't want to criticize your rhetorical style, 169 00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:14,625 but we'd be a lot further along in this conversation 170 00:10:14,745 --> 00:10:16,534 if you'd begun with that thought. 171 00:10:16,978 --> 00:10:18,286 - Great... - I'm saying 172 00:10:18,449 --> 00:10:21,540 we took quite an unnecessary detour from what I now understand to be your thesis. 173 00:10:21,701 --> 00:10:22,673 Whatever. 174 00:10:24,272 --> 00:10:26,044 You have to do something about it. 175 00:10:26,610 --> 00:10:29,048 - Why? - Because she's your sister. 176 00:10:30,299 --> 00:10:31,672 I don't understand. 177 00:10:32,221 --> 00:10:34,615 Yes, we shared a uterus for nine months, 178 00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:37,869 but since then we've pretty much gone our own separate ways. 179 00:10:38,792 --> 00:10:41,100 Okay, consider this. 180 00:10:41,467 --> 00:10:43,046 With your father gone, 181 00:10:43,166 --> 00:10:44,854 it is your responsibility 182 00:10:45,196 --> 00:10:48,050 to make sure that Missy chooses a suitable mate. 183 00:10:50,196 --> 00:10:51,687 I hadn't considered that. 184 00:10:52,734 --> 00:10:54,453 We do share DNA. 185 00:10:54,802 --> 00:10:57,201 So there is the possibility, however remote, 186 00:10:57,363 --> 00:10:59,008 that resting in her loins 187 00:10:59,153 --> 00:11:02,605 is the potential for another individual as remarkable as myself. 188 00:11:03,438 --> 00:11:05,042 Exactly. 189 00:11:05,662 --> 00:11:08,612 And you owe it to yourself and to posterity 190 00:11:08,732 --> 00:11:12,424 to protect the genetic integrity of your sister's future offspring. 191 00:11:14,596 --> 00:11:15,842 You're right. 192 00:11:16,141 --> 00:11:18,394 If someone wants to get at Missy's Fallopian tubes, 193 00:11:18,514 --> 00:11:20,335 they'll have to go through me. 194 00:11:29,977 --> 00:11:31,850 I am Shiva the Destroyer! 195 00:11:31,970 --> 00:11:33,651 I will have the woman. 196 00:11:35,068 --> 00:11:38,477 I'm warning you, I was judo champion at math camp. 197 00:11:39,251 --> 00:11:41,741 All right, now that's enough juvenile squabbling. 198 00:11:41,861 --> 00:11:43,580 You stop it. Stop it, I say! 199 00:11:44,924 --> 00:11:46,915 I'm going to settle this right now. 200 00:11:47,263 --> 00:11:49,537 Neither of you are good enough for my sister. 201 00:11:49,747 --> 00:11:51,338 Who are you to decide that? 202 00:11:51,499 --> 00:11:54,464 He's the man of his family. You have to respect his wishes. 203 00:11:54,584 --> 00:11:56,682 - You're out, too, by the way. - Say what? 204 00:11:56,957 --> 00:11:58,696 It's nothing personal. I'd just prefer 205 00:11:58,816 --> 00:12:01,032 if my future niece or nephew didn't become flatulent 206 00:12:01,152 --> 00:12:03,201 every time they ate an eskimo pie. 207 00:12:09,610 --> 00:12:11,232 What are you so happy about? 208 00:12:11,550 --> 00:12:12,543 I'm not happy. 209 00:12:12,795 --> 00:12:15,217 It's the medication. I can't stop smiling. 210 00:12:21,313 --> 00:12:24,515 Now that Leonard's made me aware how high the genetic stakes are... 211 00:12:24,635 --> 00:12:27,875 we have to face the fact that none of you are suitable mates for my sister. 212 00:12:28,345 --> 00:12:30,855 Wait a minute. Leonard made you aware of that? 213 00:12:32,649 --> 00:12:34,703 We all make mistakes. Let's move on. 214 00:12:35,499 --> 00:12:37,980 Excuse me, I think you're missing a big opportunity here. 215 00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:38,886 How so? 216 00:12:39,047 --> 00:12:42,382 Everybody knows genetic diversity produces the strongest offspring. 217 00:12:42,732 --> 00:12:45,887 Why not put a little mocha in the family latte? 218 00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:50,559 In principle, you have a point. 219 00:12:50,733 --> 00:12:52,696 But as a practical matter, need I remind you 220 00:12:52,864 --> 00:12:54,819 that it takes experimental pharmaceuticals 221 00:12:54,939 --> 00:12:57,479 to simply enable you to speak to the opposite sex. 222 00:12:58,610 --> 00:13:01,604 I think you're focusing entirely too much on the drugs. 223 00:13:07,775 --> 00:13:09,160 Is it 'cause I'm Jewish? 224 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:12,248 'Cause I'd kill my rabbi with a pork chop to be with your sister. 225 00:13:19,017 --> 00:13:20,890 This has nothing to do with religion. 226 00:13:21,010 --> 00:13:23,547 This has to do with the fact that you're a tiny, tiny man 227 00:13:23,667 --> 00:13:25,485 who still lives with his mother. 228 00:13:26,446 --> 00:13:28,643 Sheldon, you are really being unreasonable. 229 00:13:28,938 --> 00:13:29,770 Am I? 230 00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:33,902 Here, eat this cheese without farting and you can sleep with my sister. 231 00:13:35,674 --> 00:13:36,840 Oh, really? 232 00:13:44,001 --> 00:13:46,788 Shelly, can I speak to you for a minute? Alone. 233 00:13:47,862 --> 00:13:50,436 Why does everyone suddenly want to talk to me alone? 234 00:13:50,556 --> 00:13:52,652 Usually nobody wants to be alone with me. 235 00:13:59,165 --> 00:14:01,400 We all make mistakes. Let's move on. 236 00:14:04,889 --> 00:14:07,516 I'm not even going to ask why you're pimping me out for cheese. 237 00:14:09,345 --> 00:14:12,605 But since when do you care at all about who I sleep with? 238 00:14:13,112 --> 00:14:15,068 Truthfully, I've never given it any thought, 239 00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:18,652 but it has been pointed out to me that you carry DNA of great potential. 240 00:14:18,964 --> 00:14:21,676 - What on earth are you talking about? - Let me explain. 241 00:14:21,796 --> 00:14:24,887 You see, I'm a superior genetic mutation, 242 00:14:25,007 --> 00:14:28,162 an improvement on the existing mediocre stock. 243 00:14:30,038 --> 00:14:32,625 And what do you mean, "mediocre stock"? 244 00:14:32,786 --> 00:14:33,876 That would be you. 245 00:14:35,471 --> 00:14:38,682 But residing within you, is the potential for another me. 246 00:14:39,010 --> 00:14:42,659 Perhaps even taller, smarter, and less prone to freckling, 247 00:14:43,001 --> 00:14:44,845 a Sheldon 2.0, if you will. 248 00:14:46,554 --> 00:14:47,798 "Sheldon 2.0"? 249 00:14:48,010 --> 00:14:49,047 Exactly. 250 00:14:49,291 --> 00:14:53,023 Now, I am not saying that I should be the sole decider of who you mate with. 251 00:14:53,143 --> 00:14:54,896 If you're not attracted to the suitor, 252 00:14:55,058 --> 00:14:57,148 the likelihood of conception will be reduced. 253 00:14:57,310 --> 00:14:59,393 - You have got to be kidding me. - Not at all. 254 00:14:59,684 --> 00:15:02,730 Frequent coitus dramatically increases the odds of fertilization. 255 00:15:04,034 --> 00:15:06,006 Okay, Shelly, sit down. 256 00:15:09,504 --> 00:15:12,946 Now I've lived my whole life dealing with the fact that my twin brother is, 257 00:15:13,199 --> 00:15:14,523 as mom puts it, 258 00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:17,168 "one of God's special, little people". 259 00:15:18,081 --> 00:15:20,486 I always thought I was more like a cuckoo bird. 260 00:15:20,606 --> 00:15:24,573 You know, a superior creature whose egg is placed in the nest of ordinary birds. 261 00:15:24,853 --> 00:15:27,179 Of course, the newly hatched cuckoo eats all the food, 262 00:15:27,341 --> 00:15:29,632 leaving the ordinary siblings to starve to death. 263 00:15:30,706 --> 00:15:33,302 Luckily for you, that's where the metaphor ended. 264 00:15:35,008 --> 00:15:36,967 I thought it ended at "cuckoo". 265 00:15:39,749 --> 00:15:41,049 You listen to me. 266 00:15:41,212 --> 00:15:43,609 If you want to start acting like a brother who cares about me, 267 00:15:43,729 --> 00:15:45,898 then terrific. Bring it on. 268 00:15:46,386 --> 00:15:49,175 But you try one time to tell me who I should be sleeping with, 269 00:15:49,295 --> 00:15:51,150 and you and I are going to go round and round 270 00:15:51,270 --> 00:15:53,710 the way we did when we were little. Remember? 271 00:15:57,728 --> 00:16:00,045 - I have an alternate proposal. - Go on. 272 00:16:00,780 --> 00:16:01,944 You donate eggs. 273 00:16:02,151 --> 00:16:03,977 We will place them in cryogenic storage. 274 00:16:04,118 --> 00:16:07,009 I will find an appropriate sperm donor for your eggs, 275 00:16:07,129 --> 00:16:09,513 have them fertilized and implanted in you. 276 00:16:09,674 --> 00:16:11,620 That way, everybody wins. 277 00:16:20,458 --> 00:16:21,609 Correction. 278 00:16:21,770 --> 00:16:24,073 Missy can date whoever she wants. 279 00:16:25,990 --> 00:16:27,502 Look, we have to settle this. 280 00:16:27,622 --> 00:16:28,642 I agree. 281 00:16:28,762 --> 00:16:31,753 Sheldon's sister is hiding at Penny's because we've all been hitting on her 282 00:16:31,873 --> 00:16:33,903 - at the same time. - She's not hiding. 283 00:16:34,039 --> 00:16:37,077 She needed privacy to call her grandmother who's apparently very sick. 284 00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:39,478 And then I believe she has to wash her hair. 285 00:16:40,559 --> 00:16:42,688 You poor, deluded bastard. 286 00:16:43,165 --> 00:16:45,539 - Don't start with me. - You want to go again? Let's go. 287 00:16:45,659 --> 00:16:46,605 Sit down. 288 00:16:48,522 --> 00:16:51,141 If we're going to fight over Missy, let's do it the right way. 289 00:16:51,348 --> 00:16:52,729 The honorable way. 290 00:16:54,394 --> 00:16:55,493 Take that! 291 00:16:56,380 --> 00:16:57,638 You want some more? 292 00:17:01,246 --> 00:17:02,413 And he's down! 293 00:17:02,545 --> 00:17:05,221 One, two, three... 294 00:17:05,992 --> 00:17:07,363 Come on! Get up! 295 00:17:07,587 --> 00:17:08,838 Stay down, bitch! 296 00:17:11,101 --> 00:17:12,875 Nine, ten. 297 00:17:14,895 --> 00:17:16,489 Natural selection at work. 298 00:17:16,797 --> 00:17:18,515 I weep for humanity. 299 00:17:19,577 --> 00:17:22,143 Excuse me while I go tell Missy the good news. 300 00:17:28,955 --> 00:17:30,809 - Leonard. - Hi, Penny. How's it going? 301 00:17:30,929 --> 00:17:33,388 That guy Mike that you were dating, is that still going on? 302 00:17:33,588 --> 00:17:34,801 Pretty much. Why? 303 00:17:34,921 --> 00:17:37,762 Nothing, just catching up. By the way, may I speak to Missy, please? 304 00:17:39,110 --> 00:17:40,455 Of course. 305 00:17:41,979 --> 00:17:44,624 - Hi, Leonard. What's up? - Since you're leaving tomorrow, 306 00:17:44,744 --> 00:17:47,069 I was wondering if you'd like to go to dinner with me. 307 00:17:47,805 --> 00:17:49,864 That's so sweet. But no thanks. 308 00:17:53,125 --> 00:17:55,233 - Do you have other plans or... - No. 309 00:17:59,362 --> 00:18:00,469 All right. 310 00:18:02,167 --> 00:18:05,442 - Enjoy the rest of your evening. - Thanks. See ya. 311 00:18:12,994 --> 00:18:15,324 Here's something we didn't anticipate. 312 00:18:21,245 --> 00:18:22,604 What do you want, Howard? 313 00:18:23,044 --> 00:18:25,342 I'm fine. Thanks for asking. 314 00:18:26,731 --> 00:18:28,402 I've come to call on Missy. 315 00:18:32,791 --> 00:18:35,222 - Hi, Howard. - The Amazing Howard. 316 00:18:36,940 --> 00:18:39,579 - Do you like magic? - Not really. No. 317 00:18:40,941 --> 00:18:42,875 Then you are in for a treat. 318 00:18:45,035 --> 00:18:47,192 Behold, an ordinary cane. 319 00:19:20,239 --> 00:19:22,577 Thank you. I apprec... 320 00:19:24,456 --> 00:19:25,657 Apprec... 321 00:19:27,036 --> 00:19:28,259 Appree... 322 00:19:30,458 --> 00:19:33,133 Oh, honey. Is your medication wearing off? 323 00:19:36,849 --> 00:19:38,248 Well, hi, cutie pie. 324 00:19:38,530 --> 00:19:40,248 I was hoping you'd show up. 325 00:20:08,601 --> 00:20:10,759 We had a dog who made a noise like that. 326 00:20:11,227 --> 00:20:12,984 Had to put him down. 327 00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:19,276 Any news you want me to pass on to Mom? 328 00:20:19,924 --> 00:20:23,246 Well, she might be interested to know that I have refocused my research 329 00:20:23,366 --> 00:20:26,354 from bosonic string theory to heterotic string theory. 330 00:20:27,465 --> 00:20:29,297 I'll just tell her you say "hey". 331 00:20:32,193 --> 00:20:34,146 Well, it was pleasant seeing you, 332 00:20:34,266 --> 00:20:36,712 other than that business with my testicles. 333 00:20:38,746 --> 00:20:40,034 Come on, Shelly. 334 00:20:46,042 --> 00:20:48,041 I want you to know I'm very proud of you. 335 00:20:48,528 --> 00:20:49,333 Really? 336 00:20:49,453 --> 00:20:53,206 Yep, I'm always bragging to my friends about my brother, the rocket scientist. 337 00:20:54,573 --> 00:20:57,175 You tell people I'm a rocket scientist? 338 00:20:58,376 --> 00:20:59,302 Well, yeah. 339 00:20:59,463 --> 00:21:01,430 I'm a theoretical physicist. 340 00:21:01,763 --> 00:21:04,735 - What's the difference? - What's the difference? 341 00:21:05,971 --> 00:21:07,173 Good bye, Shelly. 342 00:21:07,436 --> 00:21:09,185 My God! 343 00:21:10,083 --> 00:21:13,976 Why don't you just tell them that I'm a toll-taker at the Golden Gate Bridge? 344 00:21:16,686 --> 00:21:19,117 Rocket scientist. How humiliating.