1
00:00:01,147 --> 00:00:02,391
Fellow warriors,
2
00:00:02,624 --> 00:00:04,331
this is Sheldor the Conqueror.
3
00:00:04,451 --> 00:00:06,411
We are about to enter
Axidus' fortress.
4
00:00:06,531 --> 00:00:09,800
Now, this is a long run,
so let's do another bladder check.
5
00:00:12,335 --> 00:00:14,166
OK, Barry,
we'll wait for you again,
6
00:00:14,286 --> 00:00:16,345
but you really should see a doctor.
7
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Sheldor is AFK.
8
00:00:27,633 --> 00:00:30,096
Are you experiencing
some sort of difficulty?
9
00:00:30,216 --> 00:00:32,535
Yes. I can't get
my stupid door open.
10
00:00:32,912 --> 00:00:34,992
You appear to have put
your car key in the door lock,
11
00:00:35,112 --> 00:00:36,606
are you aware of that?
12
00:00:39,676 --> 00:00:40,909
All right, then.
13
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Damn it.
14
00:00:45,987 --> 00:00:48,927
Would it be possible for you
to do this a little more quietly?
15
00:00:49,755 --> 00:00:51,588
I can't get
the damn key out.
16
00:00:52,175 --> 00:00:54,514
It's not surprising--
that Baldwin lock on your door
17
00:00:54,634 --> 00:00:56,492
uses traditional
edge-mounted cylinders,
18
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whereas the key for your Volkswagen
uses a center cylinder system.
19
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Thank you.
20
00:01:04,869 --> 00:01:06,064
You're welcome.
21
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Point of inquiry: why did you put
your car key in the door lock?
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Why?
Because today I had an audition,
23
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it took me two hours to get there,
24
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I waited an hour for my turn,
and before I could even start,
25
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they told me I looked
too Midwest for the part.
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Too Midwest.
What the hell does that even mean?
27
00:01:21,793 --> 00:01:25,586
The American Midwest was mostly settled
by Scandinavian and Germanic people.
28
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They have a characteristic
facial bone...
29
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I know what it means!
30
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God! I have been in L.A.
for almost two years now,
31
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and I haven't gotten
a single acting job.
32
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I've accomplished nothing,
33
00:01:37,595 --> 00:01:40,292
haven't gotten any raise at work,
haven't even had sex in 6 months,
34
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and just now,
when I was walking up those stairs,
35
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a fly flew in my mouth
and I ate it!
36
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Actually, insects are a dietary staple
in many cultures.
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They're almost pure protein.
38
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Oh, son of a bitch!
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I believe the condensation
on your frozen foods
40
00:01:57,261 --> 00:01:59,622
weakened the structural
integrity of the bag.
41
00:02:04,122 --> 00:02:07,614
But returning to your key conundrum,
perhaps you should call a locksmith
42
00:02:07,734 --> 00:02:09,777
- and have him open the door for you.
- I did.
43
00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:11,759
He said he'll get here
when he gets here.
44
00:02:11,921 --> 00:02:14,129
You're frustrated
because he phrased his reply
45
00:02:14,249 --> 00:02:16,556
in the form
of a meaningless tautology?
46
00:02:17,168 --> 00:02:19,903
I am frustrated because
I am a failure at everything
47
00:02:20,023 --> 00:02:21,873
and my breath smells like fly.
48
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There, there.
49
00:02:35,849 --> 00:02:38,453
Would you prefer to wait
in our apartment?
50
00:02:38,613 --> 00:02:40,648
No, I'd rather sit
on this freezing-cold floor
51
00:02:40,768 --> 00:02:42,666
sobbing like a three-year-old.
52
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All right, then.
53
00:02:45,727 --> 00:02:47,057
For God's sake.
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Just when I think
I've gotten the hang of sarcasm.
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Subtitles:
sub-way.fr / seriessub.com / forom.com
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00:03:18,066 --> 00:03:19,818
Make yourself comfortable.
57
00:03:20,605 --> 00:03:21,684
Not there.
58
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Sheldor is back online.
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Sheldor?
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The Conqueror.
61
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What are you doing?
62
00:04:02,868 --> 00:04:03,914
AFK.
63
00:04:05,622 --> 00:04:08,605
I'm playing Age of Conan,
an online multiplayer game
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set in the universe of
Robert E. Howard's Conan the Barbarian.
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00:04:14,937 --> 00:04:16,447
Sheldor back online.
66
00:04:17,983 --> 00:04:20,017
- What's "AFK"?
- AFK.
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00:04:22,901 --> 00:04:24,425
Away From Keyboard.
68
00:04:26,032 --> 00:04:27,229
Oh, I see.
69
00:04:28,377 --> 00:04:30,075
What does that stand for?
70
00:04:34,992 --> 00:04:36,227
Oh, I see.
71
00:04:38,314 --> 00:04:40,282
Yes, but what does
it stand for?
72
00:04:54,291 --> 00:04:57,134
Just click on the enchanted boots
to put them on.
73
00:04:57,490 --> 00:05:00,152
I don't know--
can I see them in another color?
74
00:05:01,514 --> 00:05:02,763
Just click on them.
75
00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:04,916
Congratulations.
76
00:05:05,093 --> 00:05:07,123
You are now a level-three warrior.
77
00:05:07,763 --> 00:05:10,814
- What's going on?
- Guess what? I'm a level-three warrior.
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00:05:11,889 --> 00:05:12,649
Great.
79
00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:15,379
Do you know there are groceries
outside of your apartment?
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00:05:17,212 --> 00:05:19,427
I only bring it up because
your ice cream's melting
81
00:05:19,547 --> 00:05:21,449
and it's starting
to attract wildlife.
82
00:05:22,767 --> 00:05:24,943
Do I stay in the jungle
or go towards the beach?
83
00:05:25,063 --> 00:05:27,998
It doesn't matter-- right now;
you're looking for treasure.
84
00:05:30,374 --> 00:05:32,669
- Wait, where are you going?
- No, no. You're okay.
85
00:05:32,829 --> 00:05:35,978
If you run into crocodiles,
just kick them with your boots.
86
00:05:38,787 --> 00:05:40,363
You want to catch me up?
87
00:05:41,261 --> 00:05:42,324
Well, let's see,
88
00:05:42,444 --> 00:05:45,207
she attempted to open
her apartment with her car key
89
00:05:45,327 --> 00:05:47,778
because her face
is overly Midwestern...
90
00:05:49,255 --> 00:05:51,097
she hasn't had sex in six months...
91
00:05:51,804 --> 00:05:53,230
and she ate a fly.
92
00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,524
Seriously?
Six months?
93
00:06:00,309 --> 00:06:02,199
Oh, my God!
A treasure chest! I'm rich!
94
00:06:03,269 --> 00:06:05,568
Level three,
and she thinks she's rich.
95
00:06:09,330 --> 00:06:10,447
What a newb.
96
00:06:14,844 --> 00:06:16,079
We're all set.
97
00:06:16,563 --> 00:06:17,642
Let her rip.
98
00:06:32,806 --> 00:06:35,232
Check it out--
it's just corn starch and water.
99
00:06:38,845 --> 00:06:41,506
They make up a non-Newtonian fluid,
which is liquid,
100
00:06:41,626 --> 00:06:44,360
but solid under the percussive
action of the speaker.
101
00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:46,520
That's what makes it get all funky.
102
00:06:51,532 --> 00:06:53,290
Listen, I need to talk to Sheldon.
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00:06:58,550 --> 00:07:00,799
No, that's what she said--
Sheldon.
104
00:07:01,654 --> 00:07:04,885
I bought the game, and I've been
exploring the island of Tortage,
105
00:07:05,046 --> 00:07:07,113
but I don't know
how to get past the Guard Captain.
106
00:07:07,233 --> 00:07:09,850
- Do you have the Enchanted Sword?
- No, I have a bronze dagger.
107
00:07:10,143 --> 00:07:12,277
You can't slay the Guard
with a bronze dagger.
108
00:07:12,397 --> 00:07:15,230
My Lord, it's like the car key
in your apartment door all over again.
109
00:07:15,390 --> 00:07:18,509
- All right, how do I get the sword?
- Have you been to the Temple of Mitra?
110
00:07:18,629 --> 00:07:21,432
Is that the place on the hill
with the weird priest in front of it?
111
00:07:21,552 --> 00:07:24,481
- It's... Oh, for God's sakes, gimme.
- Thank you-- I really appreciate.
112
00:07:24,601 --> 00:07:26,907
You're gonna have to learn
to do these things for yourself.
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00:07:27,097 --> 00:07:29,326
Don't patronize me--
just get the sword!
114
00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:32,858
What the frack?
115
00:07:34,700 --> 00:07:37,420
Beats me.
They were playing all last night, too.
116
00:07:38,047 --> 00:07:40,845
It's like some kind
of weird comic book crossover.
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00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:44,414
Like if Hulk were dating
Peppermint Patty.
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00:07:45,093 --> 00:07:47,350
I always thought
Peppermint Patty was a lesbian.
119
00:07:47,470 --> 00:07:48,778
No, that's Marcie.
120
00:07:48,898 --> 00:07:50,881
Peppermint Patty's just athletic.
121
00:07:52,297 --> 00:07:54,223
There you go--
one Enchanted Sword.
122
00:07:54,343 --> 00:07:57,175
All right, gimme, gimme.
I want to kill the Guard Captain.
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00:08:01,974 --> 00:08:03,862
That girl needs to get a life.
124
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Danger! Danger!
125
00:08:27,786 --> 00:08:30,520
No danger-- it's just me, Penny.
Listen, I got to level 25
126
00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,224
and reached Purple Lotus Swamp.
127
00:08:32,496 --> 00:08:34,059
You're in my bedroom.
128
00:08:34,898 --> 00:08:38,136
- Leonard gave me an emergency key.
- People can't be in my bedroom.
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00:08:38,432 --> 00:08:41,690
- Can we go talk in the living room?
- I'm not wearing pajama bottoms.
130
00:08:43,545 --> 00:08:45,648
- Why not?
- I spilled grape juice.
131
00:08:46,468 --> 00:08:47,911
Wear different pajamas.
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I can't wear different pajamas--
these are my Monday pajamas.
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People cannot be in my bedroom.
134
00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:57,081
Fine, just tell me, is it too soon
to join a quest to the Black Castle?
135
00:08:57,773 --> 00:09:00,335
You were invited on a quest
to the Black Castle?
136
00:09:00,495 --> 00:09:01,823
By some guys in Budapest.
137
00:09:01,943 --> 00:09:04,756
I'm just not sure it's the right move
for my character.
138
00:09:05,090 --> 00:09:07,644
Of course it's not--
you're only a level 25.
139
00:09:07,764 --> 00:09:11,046
These Hungarians, they're just
using you for dragon fodder.
140
00:09:12,151 --> 00:09:15,969
Really? Boy, you'd think you could trust
a horde of Hungarian barbarians.
141
00:09:17,864 --> 00:09:20,522
Please, Penny, enough.
I have to sleep.
142
00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:24,947
Okay, you were great.
Thanks.
143
00:09:28,974 --> 00:09:31,491
Listen, don't go in Sheldon's room.
He's not wearing bottoms.
144
00:09:38,702 --> 00:09:41,036
Sheldon, you want
to catch me up again?
145
00:09:43,636 --> 00:09:45,463
People, I'm very busy today.
146
00:09:45,954 --> 00:09:47,468
I realize that, Dr. Gablehauser,
147
00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:49,405
but it's your job,
as head of the department,
148
00:09:49,525 --> 00:09:51,260
to mediate
all interdepartmental disputes.
149
00:09:51,464 --> 00:09:53,924
University Policy Manual,
Chapter Four, Subsection Two:
150
00:09:54,044 --> 00:09:56,349
"Mediation
of Interdepartmental Disputes."
151
00:09:57,755 --> 00:09:58,755
Fine.
152
00:09:59,583 --> 00:10:02,976
Dr. Winkle, what colorful name
did you call Dr. Cooper this time?
153
00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:05,150
Dr. Dumb-Ass.
154
00:10:08,102 --> 00:10:10,192
Dr. Cooper,
Dr. Winkle apologizes.
155
00:10:10,399 --> 00:10:11,813
- I don't.
- She doesn't.
156
00:10:12,900 --> 00:10:14,992
Here's the problem.
I was clearly signed up
157
00:10:15,154 --> 00:10:16,869
to use the mainframe in Buckman 204,
158
00:10:17,061 --> 00:10:19,997
and Dr. Winkle just wantonly
ripped the sign-up sheet off the wall.
159
00:10:20,159 --> 00:10:22,626
It wasn't an official sign-up sheet.
He printed it himself,
160
00:10:22,746 --> 00:10:25,496
and he put his name down
on every slot for the next 6 months.
161
00:10:26,705 --> 00:10:29,132
If it is a crime to ensure
that the university's resources
162
00:10:29,252 --> 00:10:32,150
are not being squandered
chasing subatomic wild geese,
163
00:10:32,270 --> 00:10:33,803
then I plead guilty.
164
00:10:37,641 --> 00:10:39,725
- Penny!
- Do you need to get that, Dr. Cooper?
165
00:10:39,886 --> 00:10:40,886
God, no.
166
00:10:41,602 --> 00:10:44,144
Don't turn it off, you might miss
your call from the Nobel committee
167
00:10:44,264 --> 00:10:47,311
telling you you've been nominated
as Dumb-Ass Laureate of the Year.
168
00:10:48,574 --> 00:10:49,878
Oh, yeah? Well...
169
00:10:50,634 --> 00:10:52,488
you wouldn't even be nominated.
170
00:10:57,696 --> 00:10:59,222
Dr. Gablehauser, I have a series
171
00:10:59,342 --> 00:11:01,720
of important calculations
and simulations to run.
172
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,783
All she's doing is
reducing irrelevant data
173
00:11:03,903 --> 00:11:06,331
- and making a mock...
- Excuse me.
174
00:11:09,818 --> 00:11:10,798
It's for you.
175
00:11:16,247 --> 00:11:18,110
Penny, this is not a good time.
176
00:11:18,868 --> 00:11:20,042
No, I told you,
177
00:11:20,162 --> 00:11:22,643
you're not prepared
for the Sanctum of Burning Souls.
178
00:11:24,151 --> 00:11:26,443
You need to be in a group
of at least 5 for that quest
179
00:11:26,563 --> 00:11:28,344
and one should be
a level 35 healer.
180
00:11:28,682 --> 00:11:30,234
I can't log on and help you.
181
00:11:32,073 --> 00:11:33,955
We'll talk when I get home.
182
00:11:39,469 --> 00:11:41,574
I'm not getting
the computing time, am I?
183
00:11:42,589 --> 00:11:43,614
Dumb-ass.
184
00:11:48,340 --> 00:11:50,796
Leonard, you have to do
something about Penny.
185
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:54,297
She is interfering with my sleep,
she's interfering with my work,
186
00:11:54,417 --> 00:11:56,603
and if I had another significant
aspect of my life,
187
00:11:56,723 --> 00:11:59,055
I'm sure she'd be interfering
with that, too.
188
00:12:00,627 --> 00:12:03,701
Why should I do something?
You introduced her to online gaming.
189
00:12:04,138 --> 00:12:07,413
Yes, but you're the one who said hello
to her when she moved in.
190
00:12:08,468 --> 00:12:11,650
If you'd simply restrained yourself,
none of this would be happening.
191
00:12:12,756 --> 00:12:15,719
- Just tell her to leave you alone.
- I did, I told her,
192
00:12:15,839 --> 00:12:18,574
I texted her, I sent out
a very emphatic twitter.
193
00:12:18,735 --> 00:12:20,450
I even changed my Facebook
status to
194
00:12:20,570 --> 00:12:22,805
"Sheldon Cooper wishes Penny
would leave him alone."
195
00:12:22,925 --> 00:12:24,413
I don't know what else to do.
196
00:12:25,305 --> 00:12:27,770
- Well, what am I supposed to do?
- I don't know,
197
00:12:27,890 --> 00:12:29,958
but if you don't figure something out,
I warn you,
198
00:12:30,078 --> 00:12:32,306
I shall become
very difficult to live with.
199
00:12:34,349 --> 00:12:36,591
You mean up until now
we've been experiencing
200
00:12:36,711 --> 00:12:38,436
the happy, fun-time Sheldon?
201
00:12:39,595 --> 00:12:41,254
- Yes.
- I'll go talk to her.
202
00:12:43,564 --> 00:12:45,539
No, Fritz, I need you on my flank.
203
00:12:46,457 --> 00:12:49,207
No, I don't know German.
Flanken sie, flanken sie.
204
00:12:52,688 --> 00:12:54,086
- Hey, Penny.
- Busy.
205
00:12:55,322 --> 00:12:57,571
Yeah, I see that.
Shouldn't you be at work?
206
00:12:57,733 --> 00:12:59,115
I don't work on Mondays.
207
00:12:59,610 --> 00:13:00,784
It's Thursday.
208
00:13:03,529 --> 00:13:06,921
- Listen, Penny...
- Queen Penelope, AFK. What...?
209
00:13:12,361 --> 00:13:13,688
Here's the thing.
210
00:13:14,157 --> 00:13:16,237
Sometimes people,
good people,
211
00:13:16,357 --> 00:13:18,551
start playing these games
and they find themselves,
212
00:13:18,711 --> 00:13:22,346
through no fault of their own,
kind of... addicted.
213
00:13:22,507 --> 00:13:24,497
Get to the point.
I'm about to level up here.
214
00:13:25,254 --> 00:13:28,528
If a person doesn't have a sense
of achievement in their real life,
215
00:13:28,648 --> 00:13:30,540
it's easy to lose themselves
in a virtual world
216
00:13:30,660 --> 00:13:32,857
where they can get a false
sense of accomplishment.
217
00:13:33,018 --> 00:13:35,644
Yeah, jabber, jabber.
Boys, Queen Penelope's back online.
218
00:13:38,037 --> 00:13:39,323
Penny, you've got...
219
00:13:39,770 --> 00:13:41,261
Cheetos in your hair.
220
00:13:44,167 --> 00:13:45,167
Thanks.
221
00:13:57,821 --> 00:13:59,889
Hey, Penny, it's me again, Leonard.
222
00:14:00,836 --> 00:14:02,052
I said not now.
223
00:14:02,386 --> 00:14:04,430
I know, I'm just a little
concerned about you.
224
00:14:04,590 --> 00:14:05,758
I said not now!
225
00:14:06,133 --> 00:14:07,436
Okay, maybe later.
226
00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:10,933
Hey, guys.
227
00:14:12,193 --> 00:14:15,107
- What's with him?
- Penny's been keeping him up at night.
228
00:14:17,229 --> 00:14:18,290
Me, too.
229
00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:24,335
But probably in a different way.
230
00:14:25,416 --> 00:14:27,426
She's gotten really
hooked on Age of Conan.
231
00:14:27,546 --> 00:14:30,623
- She's playing nonstop.
- Yes, online gaming addiction.
232
00:14:30,906 --> 00:14:34,446
There's nothing worse than having
that multi-player monkey on your back.
233
00:14:36,477 --> 00:14:38,660
- Sheldon, wake up!
- Danger! Danger!
234
00:14:40,376 --> 00:14:41,754
Afternoon, men.
235
00:14:45,553 --> 00:14:47,135
Your attempt at juvenilizing me
236
00:14:47,255 --> 00:14:49,743
by excluding me from the set
of adult males, just...
237
00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:51,718
I'm too tired to do this.
238
00:14:53,097 --> 00:14:56,543
I heard you've been pulling all-nighters
with Middle Earth Barbie.
239
00:14:57,755 --> 00:15:00,890
She comes into my room.
No one's supposed to be in my room.
240
00:15:02,008 --> 00:15:04,656
I would postulate that she's escaping
into the online world
241
00:15:04,776 --> 00:15:06,700
to compensate
for her sexual frustration.
242
00:15:07,013 --> 00:15:08,118
I do that, too.
243
00:15:10,853 --> 00:15:12,753
But probably in a different way.
244
00:15:14,393 --> 00:15:16,397
That's not what she's doing, Leslie.
245
00:15:16,517 --> 00:15:18,676
She's just trying to shore up
her self-esteem.
246
00:15:18,796 --> 00:15:21,465
- It has nothing to do with sex.
- Everything has to do with sex.
247
00:15:22,180 --> 00:15:23,180
Testify.
248
00:15:25,763 --> 00:15:27,221
I'm not touching that.
249
00:15:29,885 --> 00:15:31,517
You are way off base here.
250
00:15:31,677 --> 00:15:32,640
Hang on.
251
00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:35,036
While I have no respect
for Leslie as a scientist
252
00:15:35,156 --> 00:15:36,814
or a human being,
for that matter,
253
00:15:38,192 --> 00:15:40,652
we have to concede her
undeniable expertise
254
00:15:40,772 --> 00:15:44,232
in the interrelated fields
of promiscuity and general sluttiness.
255
00:15:45,628 --> 00:15:46,658
Thank you.
256
00:15:47,736 --> 00:15:50,411
My point is that Tinkerbell
just needs to get her some.
257
00:15:51,025 --> 00:15:52,025
Some what?
258
00:15:52,406 --> 00:15:54,437
Yes, some sexual intercourse.
259
00:15:55,854 --> 00:15:57,270
I'll take the bullet.
260
00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:01,682
Excuse me,
this whole idea is insane.
261
00:16:01,802 --> 00:16:03,716
Enough debate,
I'm going to take action.
262
00:16:05,199 --> 00:16:06,205
Excuse me.
263
00:16:06,764 --> 00:16:09,596
Are you currently involved
in a sexual relationship?
264
00:16:12,593 --> 00:16:13,767
Would you like to be?
265
00:16:17,788 --> 00:16:18,980
Sure, why not?
266
00:16:23,355 --> 00:16:25,106
Can I have your phone number?
267
00:16:40,695 --> 00:16:42,204
There. Problem solved.
268
00:16:45,351 --> 00:16:46,355
Dumb-ass.
269
00:16:54,845 --> 00:16:57,190
Okay, I'm at the gate
of the Treasury of the Ancients.
270
00:16:57,310 --> 00:16:59,091
- I'm going in.
- Stay close to the wall.
271
00:16:59,211 --> 00:17:00,731
- Avoid the mummies.
- Got it.
272
00:17:01,513 --> 00:17:05,486
I must say you're playing very well
for a woman of 23.
273
00:17:05,647 --> 00:17:07,488
- Twenty-two.
- Right, 22.
274
00:17:11,033 --> 00:17:13,013
Here come the mummies.
Which spell do I use,
275
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:14,995
the hateful strike
or the frenzy stance?
276
00:17:15,198 --> 00:17:16,538
What happened to your group?
277
00:17:16,658 --> 00:17:18,703
I dumped them,
they're a bunch of wussies.
278
00:17:20,344 --> 00:17:22,841
- Frenzy stance.
- Frenzy, frenzy, frenzy!
279
00:17:25,954 --> 00:17:26,940
So, listen,
280
00:17:27,060 --> 00:17:29,369
would you describe
your ideal vacation
281
00:17:29,489 --> 00:17:31,658
as a wild adventure
to unknown lands
282
00:17:31,778 --> 00:17:33,930
or staying at home curled up
with a good book?
283
00:17:34,540 --> 00:17:37,039
- What?
- These are market research questions.
284
00:17:37,159 --> 00:17:39,812
I'm filling out the online
registration for your game.
285
00:17:40,333 --> 00:17:41,647
Okay, wild adventure.
286
00:17:42,383 --> 00:17:45,510
Frenzy stance isn't working.
Die, you undead mummy, die!
287
00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:47,565
- Healing potion.
- Thank you.
288
00:17:47,685 --> 00:17:48,739
You're welcome.
289
00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:53,004
Anyhow, on a scale
of one to five,
290
00:17:53,124 --> 00:17:55,520
with one being
always initiated by him
291
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:58,139
and five being
always initiated by you,
292
00:17:58,259 --> 00:18:01,083
how do you prefer
your sexual encounters to begin?
293
00:18:02,287 --> 00:18:05,175
- That's on the registration?
- Yes, it's quite extensive.
294
00:18:06,284 --> 00:18:08,537
But if we complete it,
you get a free expansion pack.
295
00:18:08,657 --> 00:18:10,342
75 additional quests.
296
00:18:10,619 --> 00:18:13,245
Awesome. I totally like to initiate.
I'm a big ol' five.
297
00:18:14,792 --> 00:18:15,854
Good to know.
298
00:18:16,348 --> 00:18:17,447
Big ol' five.
299
00:18:29,855 --> 00:18:31,238
Leonard, this is Tom.
300
00:18:35,088 --> 00:18:36,243
Hi, Tom. Sheldon...
301
00:18:40,585 --> 00:18:41,955
Didn't I explain to you
302
00:18:42,075 --> 00:18:44,396
about your little mistake
in the cafeteria?
303
00:18:45,705 --> 00:18:48,380
You were very clear.
As was everyone else at the table.
304
00:18:50,292 --> 00:18:52,257
Tom, however,
has been chosen by science
305
00:18:52,377 --> 00:18:54,158
as a suitable mate for Penny.
306
00:18:55,139 --> 00:18:56,263
Chosen by science?
307
00:18:56,424 --> 00:18:58,849
Well, what passes for science
on dating sites.
308
00:19:00,135 --> 00:19:01,937
They claim to use
heuristic algorithms,
309
00:19:02,057 --> 00:19:03,629
but it may well be hokum.
310
00:19:04,933 --> 00:19:07,149
You got Penny to sign up
for online dating?
311
00:19:07,309 --> 00:19:08,662
No, of course not.
312
00:19:08,782 --> 00:19:10,762
See, I used trickery and deceit.
313
00:19:13,306 --> 00:19:14,555
This is bad.
314
00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:17,062
Tom is a paramedic
with the fire department,
315
00:19:17,182 --> 00:19:18,810
but he's going to med school at night.
316
00:19:18,930 --> 00:19:20,309
He likes the outdoors
317
00:19:20,429 --> 00:19:22,676
and strong women
who initiate sex.
318
00:19:24,071 --> 00:19:25,562
Really, really bad.
319
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,531
I'm surprised
you struck out with Penny.
320
00:19:29,651 --> 00:19:31,711
Apparently,
she's a big ol' five.
321
00:19:34,331 --> 00:19:36,261
- Sheldon, what do you want?
- Good,
322
00:19:36,463 --> 00:19:38,679
you got my note.
I'd like you to meet Tom.
323
00:19:38,799 --> 00:19:40,253
Penny, this is Tom.
324
00:19:40,373 --> 00:19:41,977
Tom, may I present Penny.
325
00:19:42,097 --> 00:19:43,688
- Hi, Penny.
- Yeah, hi. Listen,
326
00:19:44,005 --> 00:19:47,064
as long as I'm here,
I'm on a quest with a bunch of newbs.
327
00:19:47,224 --> 00:19:49,454
We've got one assassin,
3 spell casters and no tank.
328
00:19:49,574 --> 00:19:51,976
- Can we talk about this later?
- No, no. I need you now.
329
00:19:52,096 --> 00:19:54,154
Wouldn't you prefer
to socialize with Tom,
330
00:19:54,315 --> 00:19:56,310
who is a sexually passive
outdoorsman?
331
00:19:58,993 --> 00:20:01,136
Whatever.
I'll figure it out myself.
332
00:20:01,256 --> 00:20:02,310
Bye, Penny.
333
00:20:04,483 --> 00:20:07,240
I'm sorry, dude, she didn't look
anything like her picture.
334
00:20:09,511 --> 00:20:10,650
They never do.
335
00:20:18,672 --> 00:20:21,014
- Hello, fair Penny.
- Who are you?
336
00:20:21,174 --> 00:20:23,141
It is I, Sir Howard of Wolowitz.
337
00:20:25,303 --> 00:20:28,063
Can I interest you
in an afternoon of spirited questing
338
00:20:28,225 --> 00:20:30,816
followed by a flagon of ale
at Yon Virtual Tavern?
339
00:20:31,663 --> 00:20:32,901
Yeah, sure, why not?
340
00:20:36,618 --> 00:20:38,239
Oh, my God, I need help.