1 00:00:00,158 --> 00:00:01,943 Oh, look, Saturn 3 is on. 2 00:00:02,063 --> 00:00:04,806 I don't want to watch Saturn 3. Deep Space Nine is better. 3 00:00:05,610 --> 00:00:08,261 How is Deep Space Nine better than Saturn 3? 4 00:00:09,471 --> 00:00:11,973 Simple subtraction will tell you it's six better. 5 00:00:14,261 --> 00:00:16,001 Compromise. Watch Babylon 5. 6 00:00:17,845 --> 00:00:19,940 In what sense is that a compromise? 7 00:00:20,190 --> 00:00:23,359 Well, five is partway between three... Never mind. 8 00:00:24,897 --> 00:00:27,280 I'll tell you what. How about we go rock-paper-scissors? 9 00:00:27,881 --> 00:00:28,997 I don't think so. 10 00:00:29,310 --> 00:00:32,239 Anecdotal evidence suggests that in the game of rock-paper-scissors, 11 00:00:32,359 --> 00:00:35,898 players familiar with each other will tie 75 to 80% of the time 12 00:00:36,018 --> 00:00:38,041 due to the limited number of outcomes. 13 00:00:38,312 --> 00:00:41,430 I suggest rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock. 14 00:00:43,621 --> 00:00:45,426 - What? - It's very simple. 15 00:00:46,437 --> 00:00:48,669 Scissors cuts paper. Paper covers rock. 16 00:00:48,789 --> 00:00:51,164 Rock crushes lizard. Lizard poisons Spock. 17 00:00:51,561 --> 00:00:54,222 Spock smashes scissors. Scissors decapitates lizard. 18 00:00:54,342 --> 00:00:56,570 Lizard eats paper. Paper disproves Spock. 19 00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:58,127 Spock vaporizes rock. 20 00:00:58,471 --> 00:01:01,171 And as it always has, rock crushes scissors. 21 00:01:04,264 --> 00:01:05,811 Okay, I think I got it. 22 00:01:08,324 --> 00:01:10,376 Rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock! 23 00:01:18,570 --> 00:01:19,623 Hello, boys. 24 00:01:20,976 --> 00:01:22,266 Ahoy, matey. 25 00:01:23,778 --> 00:01:25,466 Noticed the eye patch, did you? 26 00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:29,173 It's all part of a technique I've been studying for picking up women. 27 00:01:29,293 --> 00:01:30,969 You employ a visual display 28 00:01:31,888 --> 00:01:34,765 designed to make yourself distinctive and memorable. 29 00:01:35,838 --> 00:01:38,879 Oh, yes, like the male peacock with brilliant plumage 30 00:01:38,999 --> 00:01:41,701 or the rutting baboon with engorged hindquarters. 31 00:01:43,002 --> 00:01:45,752 Or in this case, the bar mitzvah boy with pinkeye. 32 00:01:46,910 --> 00:01:48,906 Mock me if you will, but it works. 33 00:01:49,026 --> 00:01:51,077 You show up at a club in something distinctive, 34 00:01:51,197 --> 00:01:53,294 scope out your target and toss out some negs. 35 00:01:53,414 --> 00:01:55,846 - What are negs? - A neg is a negative compliment 36 00:01:55,966 --> 00:01:57,829 that throws a pretty woman off her game, 37 00:01:58,039 --> 00:02:01,221 like "Normally, I'm not turned on by big teeth, 38 00:02:01,341 --> 00:02:02,877 but on you, they work." 39 00:02:04,547 --> 00:02:07,255 I got a whole list of 'em. Who wants to be my wingman? 40 00:02:07,699 --> 00:02:11,036 You're not gonna need a wingman. You're gonna need a paramedic. 41 00:02:12,106 --> 00:02:14,008 Your scooter's blocking my car. 42 00:02:14,922 --> 00:02:16,555 Did you get pinkeye again? 43 00:02:19,208 --> 00:02:21,228 Step one: she notices the eye patch. 44 00:02:22,763 --> 00:02:23,814 May I say, Penny, 45 00:02:23,934 --> 00:02:26,119 not a lot of women could look as hot as you do 46 00:02:26,239 --> 00:02:27,729 with such greasy hair? 47 00:02:35,897 --> 00:02:37,389 Just move your stupid scooter 48 00:02:37,509 --> 00:02:40,081 before I pick it up and throw it in the dumpster. 49 00:03:03,855 --> 00:03:05,313 Subtitles: sub-way.fr 50 00:03:12,144 --> 00:03:15,383 I'm sorry, but I'm not going to watch The Clone Wars TV series 51 00:03:15,503 --> 00:03:17,691 until I've seen The Clone Wars movie. 52 00:03:19,457 --> 00:03:23,053 I prefer to let George Lucas disappoint me in the order he intended. 53 00:03:24,881 --> 00:03:26,375 I want to watch it now. 54 00:03:26,717 --> 00:03:29,468 Then I believe we've arrived at another quintessential 55 00:03:29,588 --> 00:03:31,960 rock-paper-scissors- lizard-Spock moment. 56 00:03:37,735 --> 00:03:39,338 Watch whatever you want. 57 00:03:40,492 --> 00:03:42,132 I saw what you did there. 58 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:44,310 What'd I do? 59 00:03:52,207 --> 00:03:53,324 What's wrong? 60 00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:57,583 - Okay, we'll be right there. - What happened? 61 00:03:57,703 --> 00:04:00,160 Howard's at the Mars Rover lab. He says he's in trouble. 62 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:01,351 Defcon 5. 63 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:02,613 Defcon 5? 64 00:04:02,871 --> 00:04:04,772 Well, there's no need to rush. 65 00:04:06,030 --> 00:04:08,362 - What? - Defcon 5 means "no danger." 66 00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:09,933 Defcon 1 is a crisis. 67 00:04:10,476 --> 00:04:12,421 How can 5 not be worse than 1? 68 00:04:12,991 --> 00:04:14,423 Star Trek V worse than I. 69 00:04:16,768 --> 00:04:19,690 First of all, that's a comparison of quality, not intensity. 70 00:04:19,810 --> 00:04:22,624 Secondly, Star Trek I is orders-of-magnitude worse 71 00:04:22,744 --> 00:04:24,087 than Star Trek V. 72 00:04:24,553 --> 00:04:26,780 Are you joking? Star Trek V is the standard 73 00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:28,900 against which all badness is measured. 74 00:04:29,020 --> 00:04:29,940 No, no. 75 00:04:30,863 --> 00:04:33,762 Star Trek V has specific failures in writing and direction, 76 00:04:33,882 --> 00:04:35,764 while Star Trek I fails across the board: 77 00:04:35,884 --> 00:04:38,500 art direction, costuming, music, sound editing. 78 00:04:39,476 --> 00:04:41,807 Can we just forget I said Defcon and go? 79 00:04:43,639 --> 00:04:44,745 Star Trek V. 80 00:04:47,731 --> 00:04:49,184 Will you at least stipulate 81 00:04:49,304 --> 00:04:52,410 that Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home is inarguably the best? 82 00:04:52,875 --> 00:04:55,756 I have three words for you: Wrath of Khan. 83 00:04:56,994 --> 00:04:58,969 - Thank God, you're here. - What's the emergency? 84 00:04:59,304 --> 00:05:01,538 I got the Mars Rover stuck in a ditch. 85 00:05:02,530 --> 00:05:03,538 Where? 86 00:05:03,658 --> 00:05:05,973 On a dusty highway just outside Bakersfield. 87 00:05:06,093 --> 00:05:07,900 Where do you think? On Mars! 88 00:05:09,056 --> 00:05:10,189 Is everything okay? 89 00:05:10,612 --> 00:05:12,417 Yeah, baby, I'll be right in. 90 00:05:14,686 --> 00:05:16,862 You brought a girl to the Mars Rover control room? 91 00:05:17,165 --> 00:05:19,630 Yeah, I picked her up in the bar. She's a doctor. 92 00:05:19,750 --> 00:05:21,078 One free barium enema, 93 00:05:21,198 --> 00:05:23,410 and my mother won't care she's not Jewish. 94 00:05:25,154 --> 00:05:27,539 Wait a minute. So the eye patch and the insults worked? 95 00:05:27,711 --> 00:05:31,168 No, there were three other guys with eye patches. It was a fiasco. 96 00:05:32,967 --> 00:05:36,715 What did work was, "How'd you like to visit a secret government facility?" 97 00:05:36,944 --> 00:05:38,873 So what exactly do you want us to do? 98 00:05:39,044 --> 00:05:41,053 You and Raj help me get the Rover out of the ditch 99 00:05:41,173 --> 00:05:43,461 and you get Stephanie out before somebody notices her. 100 00:05:43,581 --> 00:05:45,512 - She doesn't exactly have clearance. - Really? 101 00:05:45,632 --> 00:05:47,642 They don't let strange women from honky-tonks 102 00:05:47,762 --> 00:05:51,188 come in and play with $200 million government projects on distant planets? 103 00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:54,036 Yes, I was bad. Maybe she'll spank me. 104 00:05:54,156 --> 00:05:55,399 Can we please move on? 105 00:05:57,496 --> 00:06:00,821 It's getting late, so do I get to drive this thing or what? 106 00:06:01,559 --> 00:06:03,801 No. I'm sorry, but something's come up. 107 00:06:03,921 --> 00:06:05,489 Kind of a Mars Rover... 108 00:06:06,112 --> 00:06:08,817 Mars Rover can Howard come over... 109 00:06:11,875 --> 00:06:12,876 situation. 110 00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:17,546 So my friend Leonard is gonna take you home. 111 00:06:18,517 --> 00:06:20,216 Okay. Let's go, friend Leonard. 112 00:06:21,573 --> 00:06:24,485 - I'll call ya. - So are you a scientist like Howard? 113 00:06:24,842 --> 00:06:26,897 No one's a scientist like Howard. 114 00:06:28,770 --> 00:06:30,629 My mother is so gonna love her. 115 00:06:31,054 --> 00:06:34,775 How nice. Maybe they can carpool when they visit you in federal prison. 116 00:06:41,806 --> 00:06:44,156 I'm sorry. I totally interrupted you. 117 00:06:44,276 --> 00:06:45,532 What were you saying? 118 00:06:45,731 --> 00:06:47,715 Just said Howard's a terrific guy. 119 00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:51,636 He's got a great sense of humor. 120 00:06:52,539 --> 00:06:54,025 He loves his mother... 121 00:06:54,239 --> 00:06:55,249 a lot. 122 00:06:55,369 --> 00:06:56,962 People say "too much." 123 00:06:57,971 --> 00:06:59,880 I really like that you're such a loyal friend. 124 00:07:00,198 --> 00:07:01,702 Yeah, I am loyal. 125 00:07:02,653 --> 00:07:04,426 If you look at the big picture. 126 00:07:09,506 --> 00:07:12,519 Out of curiosity, did he ever have a shot with you? 127 00:07:12,861 --> 00:07:15,579 Are you insane? The guy was wearing an eye patch. 128 00:07:16,709 --> 00:07:17,859 Then why did you...? 129 00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:20,512 He said that I could drive a car... on Mars. 130 00:07:22,068 --> 00:07:23,068 Got it. 131 00:07:25,175 --> 00:07:26,821 So, can I see you again? 132 00:07:27,630 --> 00:07:29,392 You're not gonna see me now. 133 00:07:32,588 --> 00:07:33,588 Cool. 134 00:07:39,907 --> 00:07:40,879 Anything? 135 00:07:41,886 --> 00:07:44,238 Actually, I was just checking my e-mail. 136 00:07:45,170 --> 00:07:47,860 But, no, the Rover is not responding. 137 00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:51,790 I believe the appropriate metaphor here involves a river of excrement 138 00:07:51,910 --> 00:07:55,452 and a Native American water vessel without any means of propulsion. 139 00:07:56,106 --> 00:07:58,497 Hang on. There's got to be other options. 140 00:07:58,714 --> 00:08:00,458 You could try calling Triple-A. 141 00:08:01,268 --> 00:08:04,820 But based on NASA's latest timetable, they won't get there for 35 years. 142 00:08:06,115 --> 00:08:07,898 Plus I understand you have to be standing 143 00:08:08,018 --> 00:08:10,596 next to the vehicle with your card when they arrive. 144 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:12,680 Oh, snap. 145 00:08:13,529 --> 00:08:14,529 Snap what? 146 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:18,502 - I guess we have to turn to Plan B. - What's Plan B? 147 00:08:18,662 --> 00:08:20,462 Erase hard drives, scrap surveillance tapes, 148 00:08:20,652 --> 00:08:23,178 wipe our fingerprints off every surface and run. 149 00:08:23,531 --> 00:08:25,088 Why wasn't that Plan A? 150 00:08:28,122 --> 00:08:31,041 A NASA spokesman states that due to the loss of data, 151 00:08:31,161 --> 00:08:33,983 they will most likely be unable to determine the cause 152 00:08:34,103 --> 00:08:36,057 of the Mars Rover's malfunction. 153 00:08:39,223 --> 00:08:40,877 Thank God for Plan B. 154 00:08:43,228 --> 00:08:45,454 Didn't you say you worked on the Mars Rover? 155 00:08:45,574 --> 00:08:46,954 No, you're mistaken. 156 00:08:48,233 --> 00:08:49,424 When we first met, 157 00:08:49,544 --> 00:08:52,326 you said that if I went out with you, I could drive a car on Mars. 158 00:08:55,022 --> 00:08:57,331 I don't know what you're talking about. 159 00:09:01,205 --> 00:09:03,403 Will you all excuse me? Leonard is subtly signaling 160 00:09:03,523 --> 00:09:05,923 that he'd like to talk to me in private. 161 00:09:07,653 --> 00:09:09,794 No. I remember specifically. 162 00:09:09,914 --> 00:09:11,965 You started by asking if I was from Mars 163 00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,272 because my ass was out of this world. 164 00:09:17,499 --> 00:09:19,561 That does sound like me, but no. 165 00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:22,491 Is there some problem? 166 00:09:23,384 --> 00:09:26,193 Listen, I have to kinda sneak out for a while. 167 00:09:26,888 --> 00:09:28,951 - All right, good-bye. - No, wait! 168 00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:32,541 If anyone asks you where I went, you don't know. 169 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:35,475 - Where are you going? - I can't tell you that. 170 00:09:36,495 --> 00:09:37,774 Who would ask me? 171 00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:41,019 I can't tell you that, either. 172 00:09:42,212 --> 00:09:45,087 You brought me in here to inform me you can't tell me where you're going 173 00:09:45,403 --> 00:09:47,627 and you can't tell me who might ask? 174 00:09:49,665 --> 00:09:52,081 Yeah, I really didn't think this through. 175 00:09:54,324 --> 00:09:56,135 - Leonard, a moment. - What? 176 00:09:56,441 --> 00:09:58,813 If someone, and of course, we don't know who this would be, 177 00:09:58,933 --> 00:10:01,270 does ask where you've gone, what should I say? 178 00:10:01,548 --> 00:10:03,689 I don't know. Just tell 'em I went to the office. 179 00:10:03,851 --> 00:10:05,607 - Are you going to the office? - No. 180 00:10:05,916 --> 00:10:07,609 Then how can I say it convincingly? 181 00:10:08,093 --> 00:10:09,987 Just say, "Leonard went to the office." 182 00:10:10,323 --> 00:10:13,395 All right. Leonard went to the office. 183 00:10:18,914 --> 00:10:21,124 What is...? No, not like that! 184 00:10:21,286 --> 00:10:23,994 - Just, "Leonard went to the office." - It would've worked out a lot better 185 00:10:24,114 --> 00:10:26,336 if you'd just told me you were going to the office. 186 00:10:26,879 --> 00:10:28,450 I'm going to the office. 187 00:10:28,784 --> 00:10:30,467 See? Why don't I believe you? 188 00:10:36,066 --> 00:10:37,560 I'm going out for a while. 189 00:10:48,474 --> 00:10:51,069 Doesn't anyone want to know where he's going? 190 00:10:53,074 --> 00:10:54,406 Okay, where is he going? 191 00:10:54,712 --> 00:10:56,796 Leonard is going to the office. 192 00:11:11,244 --> 00:11:13,433 - So how was work today? - Busy. 193 00:11:13,819 --> 00:11:15,552 I removed an appendix, a gall bladder 194 00:11:15,714 --> 00:11:17,819 and about a foot and a half of bowel. 195 00:11:19,341 --> 00:11:21,692 I'm hoping that was three different guys. 196 00:11:23,228 --> 00:11:24,568 No, just the one. 197 00:11:26,364 --> 00:11:27,562 He didn't make it. 198 00:11:29,518 --> 00:11:30,859 So, how was your day? 199 00:11:31,996 --> 00:11:34,967 You know, I'm a physicist, so... I thought about stuff. 200 00:11:37,042 --> 00:11:37,908 That's it? 201 00:11:38,750 --> 00:11:40,514 I wrote some of it down. 202 00:11:42,156 --> 00:11:43,861 - Are you done eating? - Yeah. 203 00:11:44,288 --> 00:11:45,288 Good. 204 00:11:48,870 --> 00:11:51,997 If I knew you were waiting, I would've swallowed that lasagna whole. 205 00:11:55,155 --> 00:11:58,120 You've reached Dr. Stephanie Barnett. Leave a message. 206 00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:01,219 It's me again, Howard. 207 00:12:01,339 --> 00:12:02,580 If you're free Friday, 208 00:12:02,700 --> 00:12:05,118 maybe we could have a little something to eat at my place. 209 00:12:05,238 --> 00:12:07,155 My mom cooks a hell of a brisket. 210 00:12:09,101 --> 00:12:10,177 Let me know. 211 00:12:10,603 --> 00:12:11,676 It's Howard. 212 00:12:14,003 --> 00:12:16,196 I've had her brisket. Melts in your mouth. 213 00:12:21,010 --> 00:12:23,873 Maybe we should think about going to the bedroom. 214 00:12:24,415 --> 00:12:25,247 Good idea. 215 00:12:25,409 --> 00:12:28,450 There's a bed in there, and I'm very, very, very pro-bed. 216 00:12:31,633 --> 00:12:34,598 You've reached Dr. Stephanie Barnett. Leave a message. 217 00:12:35,767 --> 00:12:37,252 Hey, it's me again. 218 00:12:38,384 --> 00:12:39,768 Just want to let you know 219 00:12:39,888 --> 00:12:42,681 the head count for dinner Friday has gone up. 220 00:12:43,122 --> 00:12:46,808 My Aunt Betty and Uncle Elliot are coming in from Palm Springs. 221 00:12:47,598 --> 00:12:48,840 If anybody should ask, 222 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:51,216 you're half-Jewish on your mother's side. 223 00:12:52,451 --> 00:12:53,591 Okay, call me. 224 00:12:54,299 --> 00:12:55,492 It's Howard. 225 00:12:57,544 --> 00:12:59,990 Don't you think we should tell him you're not interested? 226 00:13:00,932 --> 00:13:03,835 Do you want me to stop and call him back right now? 227 00:13:03,955 --> 00:13:05,202 Dear God, no! 228 00:13:13,770 --> 00:13:16,338 You've reached Dr. Stephanie Barnett. Leave a message. 229 00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:18,996 Hey, it's me again. 230 00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:25,248 My cousins from Fort Lauderdale are flying in to meet you 231 00:13:25,368 --> 00:13:27,484 so that means we're gonna have to move the dinner 232 00:13:27,604 --> 00:13:28,920 to a restaurant. 233 00:13:29,438 --> 00:13:32,260 Tell her we're going to the Olive Garden! 234 00:13:33,708 --> 00:13:36,247 I have a coupon from the paper. 235 00:13:37,330 --> 00:13:40,518 We're not going to the Olive Garden, Ma! 236 00:13:41,922 --> 00:13:44,927 Mr. Bigshot with his Red Lobster. 237 00:13:47,065 --> 00:13:49,401 I'll call you back when we firm up the details. 238 00:13:51,116 --> 00:13:52,172 It's Howard. 239 00:13:59,803 --> 00:14:01,348 - New shirts? - Yeah, a couple. 240 00:14:01,468 --> 00:14:02,808 - Nice. - Thank you. 241 00:14:03,173 --> 00:14:04,534 So, who's the girl? 242 00:14:06,730 --> 00:14:07,558 I'm sorry? 243 00:14:07,718 --> 00:14:10,519 Well, last time you bought a new shirt was when we were dating. 244 00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:12,915 So what we did was in fact dating? 245 00:14:15,389 --> 00:14:17,359 Well, yeah, we did have a date. 246 00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:18,861 Exactly. Thank you. 247 00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:23,240 Do me a favor, tell Koothrappali that next time you see him. 248 00:14:24,999 --> 00:14:26,368 So, who is she? 249 00:14:27,888 --> 00:14:29,845 - She's a doctor. - Nice. 250 00:14:30,139 --> 00:14:32,586 A doctor doctor, or a you kind of doctor? 251 00:14:33,744 --> 00:14:34,744 Doctor doctor. 252 00:14:34,870 --> 00:14:36,177 Surgical resident. 253 00:14:36,601 --> 00:14:37,760 Smart, pretty. 254 00:14:40,469 --> 00:14:42,076 Let me ask you something. 255 00:14:43,379 --> 00:14:45,638 If your friend thinks he's dating someone, 256 00:14:45,809 --> 00:14:48,346 but he's not because, in fact, you're dating her, 257 00:14:48,466 --> 00:14:50,225 does that make you a bad person? 258 00:14:50,707 --> 00:14:52,436 - That depends. - On what? 259 00:14:52,881 --> 00:14:54,424 Is that friend Wolowitz? 260 00:14:57,309 --> 00:14:58,609 Screw him. You're fine. 261 00:15:01,571 --> 00:15:02,696 Are you sure? 262 00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:04,990 Well, have you slept with her yet? 263 00:15:06,836 --> 00:15:08,138 You dog! 264 00:15:10,271 --> 00:15:11,497 Good for you. 265 00:15:12,114 --> 00:15:14,048 - Does that change things? - No. 266 00:15:15,703 --> 00:15:17,503 - So why'd you ask? - I'm nosy. 267 00:15:18,099 --> 00:15:19,099 See ya. 268 00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:26,937 Howard, get the door! 269 00:15:28,725 --> 00:15:31,324 Really? Is that what you do when someone knocks?! 270 00:15:31,444 --> 00:15:33,375 Thank you. I had no idea! 271 00:15:36,427 --> 00:15:39,691 Hey, buddy. What brings you to my little slice of hell? 272 00:15:40,727 --> 00:15:41,945 Who is it?! 273 00:15:42,534 --> 00:15:43,779 It's Leonard! 274 00:15:43,940 --> 00:15:46,473 You're gonna have to play outside! 275 00:15:46,593 --> 00:15:48,978 I'm not dressed to receive! 276 00:15:50,335 --> 00:15:52,081 No one cares, Ma! 277 00:15:52,528 --> 00:15:53,685 So, what's up? 278 00:15:55,029 --> 00:15:57,459 Listen, I need to talk to you about something. 279 00:16:00,540 --> 00:16:01,422 Momentito. 280 00:16:02,465 --> 00:16:03,465 Yello. 281 00:16:04,835 --> 00:16:07,136 Thanks for calling me back. I was worried... 282 00:16:19,705 --> 00:16:21,323 No, I understand. 283 00:16:21,443 --> 00:16:23,359 Sure, we can be friends. Absolutely. 284 00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:24,822 Thanks for calling. 285 00:16:25,564 --> 00:16:27,199 You have a nice day, too. 286 00:16:29,328 --> 00:16:30,451 You are dead to me. 287 00:16:36,822 --> 00:16:38,702 Who gets the extra dumpling? 288 00:16:43,913 --> 00:16:45,966 Rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock. 289 00:16:49,463 --> 00:16:52,157 Okay, one of us is going to have to stop putting up Spock. 290 00:16:52,665 --> 00:16:53,891 How do we decide that? 291 00:16:59,964 --> 00:17:01,649 - Hey, guys. - Hello. 292 00:17:03,184 --> 00:17:04,068 Hi, Howard. 293 00:17:10,225 --> 00:17:12,582 Howard is employing a schoolyard paradigm 294 00:17:12,702 --> 00:17:15,639 in which you are, for all intents and purposes, deceased. 295 00:17:17,241 --> 00:17:19,877 He intends to act on this by not speaking to you, 296 00:17:19,997 --> 00:17:22,230 feigning an inability to hear you when you speak 297 00:17:22,350 --> 00:17:25,139 and otherwise refusing to acknowledge your existence. 298 00:17:26,012 --> 00:17:28,425 That's just ridiculous. Why are you cooperating with him? 299 00:17:28,853 --> 00:17:30,928 I don't make the rules, Leonard. 300 00:17:32,782 --> 00:17:35,099 Howard, come on. I didn't plan on this. 301 00:17:35,219 --> 00:17:36,660 These things just happen. 302 00:17:36,780 --> 00:17:39,117 Usually not to me, but they do happen. 303 00:17:40,874 --> 00:17:43,067 Did someone just feel a cold breeze? 304 00:17:44,308 --> 00:17:46,610 I believe this is an extension of the death metaphor. 305 00:17:47,618 --> 00:17:50,172 The cold breeze is the so-called ectoplasmic issue 306 00:17:50,292 --> 00:17:52,116 of a disembodied soul passing by. 307 00:17:53,717 --> 00:17:55,910 Screw it. I'm just gonna eat the dumpling. 308 00:18:02,369 --> 00:18:04,252 - Come on in. - Is this a bad time? 309 00:18:04,418 --> 00:18:06,547 Yes, but I don't see a better one on the horizon. 310 00:18:08,528 --> 00:18:10,538 If it isn't Mrs. Dead to Me. 311 00:18:14,481 --> 00:18:16,633 I'm sorry, you violated the terms of your metaphor 312 00:18:16,753 --> 00:18:18,847 by acknowledging her existence. I'm out. 313 00:18:20,845 --> 00:18:22,551 He just won't listen to me. 314 00:18:22,888 --> 00:18:25,466 Okay, I guess it'll just be the three of us then. 315 00:18:26,297 --> 00:18:27,941 Lisa's gonna be disappointed. 316 00:18:28,676 --> 00:18:29,676 Lisa? 317 00:18:30,707 --> 00:18:33,206 My roommate. She just went through a really bad breakup, 318 00:18:33,326 --> 00:18:36,035 I thought she might like to meet somebody fun like you. 319 00:18:37,416 --> 00:18:39,393 Leonard, Stephanie, you're alive! 320 00:18:39,513 --> 00:18:40,710 It's a miracle! 321 00:18:44,161 --> 00:18:46,534 So, anyway, Lisa, I just wanted to tell you again 322 00:18:46,654 --> 00:18:48,496 how much I enjoyed the other night, 323 00:18:48,616 --> 00:18:50,841 and again, I'm sorry for how it ended. 324 00:18:53,253 --> 00:18:55,517 But again, if you could let me know about Friday. 325 00:18:55,637 --> 00:18:57,058 My mother needs a head count 326 00:18:57,178 --> 00:18:59,292 so she can know how big a brisket to get. 327 00:19:00,498 --> 00:19:01,893 Howard, look at this. 328 00:19:02,054 --> 00:19:03,158 Anyway, call me. 329 00:19:03,463 --> 00:19:04,519 It's Howard. 330 00:19:06,703 --> 00:19:09,444 It's unclear how the Mars Rover got into the crevice, 331 00:19:09,860 --> 00:19:11,356 but one thing's certain: 332 00:19:11,476 --> 00:19:12,989 the data which it has sent back 333 00:19:13,327 --> 00:19:15,303 contain the first clear indications 334 00:19:15,423 --> 00:19:17,652 that there may have been life on Mars. 335 00:19:19,735 --> 00:19:21,287 It's a scientific discovery 336 00:19:21,450 --> 00:19:24,149 that has staggering implications for all mankind. 337 00:19:24,595 --> 00:19:27,783 Unfortunately, we'll never know who's responsible. 338 00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:34,842 Son of a bitch.