1
00:00:03,552 --> 00:00:05,339
I don't see anything at all.

2
00:00:06,991 --> 00:00:10,218
You're the doctor, but I am constantly
hearing this annoying sound.

3
00:00:11,622 --> 00:00:12,622
Me, too.

4
00:00:14,241 --> 00:00:15,722
Is it a high-frequency whistle?

5
00:00:15,937 --> 00:00:19,203
No, it's more of a relentless,
narcissistic drone.

6
00:00:21,319 --> 00:00:23,218
There's no inflammation
at all.

7
00:00:23,708 --> 00:00:25,291
Then it must be a tumor.

8
00:00:27,512 --> 00:00:28,953
Seriously doubt it.

9
00:00:29,078 --> 00:00:31,177
Maybe it's a lingering
bacterial infection

10
00:00:31,302 --> 00:00:33,408
from all those childhood
toilet swirlies.

11
00:00:35,145 --> 00:00:38,195
Is that possible?
I used to get those all the time.

12
00:00:38,615 --> 00:00:39,898
Even in church.

13
00:00:41,527 --> 00:00:44,549
If it is from a swirly,
there something I can do.

14
00:00:46,097 --> 00:00:48,008
Circle, circle, dot, dot,

15
00:00:48,350 --> 00:00:50,316
now you have a cootie shot!

16
00:00:52,665 --> 00:00:55,213
- I'm going to bed.
- Okay, I'll be right in.

17
00:00:56,676 --> 00:00:58,316
It's not enough that she mocks me,

18
00:00:58,441 --> 00:01:01,269
but that isn't even
the correct procedure for a cootie shot.

19
00:01:01,987 --> 00:01:04,030
Do you understand
that Stephanie's not here

20
00:01:04,155 --> 00:01:06,107
to treat your imaginary ailments?

21
00:01:06,277 --> 00:01:09,803
How is it imaginary that I keep hearing
an octave above Middle C?

22
00:01:11,950 --> 00:01:13,296
Is that imaginary?

23
00:01:14,811 --> 00:01:16,167
I don't think so.

24
00:01:20,566 --> 00:01:22,539
- Good night.
- One more thing.

25
00:01:22,810 --> 00:01:25,083
Under Article One, Section Three
of our Roommate Agreement,

26
00:01:25,255 --> 00:01:27,421
- I'm calling an emergency meeting.
- You're not.

27
00:01:27,546 --> 00:01:29,804
Leonard moves the meeting not occur.
Is there a second?

28
00:01:29,929 --> 00:01:31,466
None heard, the motion fails.

29
00:01:32,809 --> 00:01:35,298
I'd like to begin the meeting
by congratulating you

30
00:01:35,423 --> 00:01:38,139
on the progress in your relationship
with Dr. Stephanie.

31
00:01:39,038 --> 00:01:40,739
- Thank you.
- That being said,

32
00:01:40,864 --> 00:01:44,203
we have to discuss the implementation
of the agreed upon "cohabitation" rider

33
00:01:44,328 --> 00:01:46,980
which has been activated
now the two of you are living together.

34
00:01:47,329 --> 00:01:50,110
- We're not living together.
- I beg to disagree.

35
00:01:51,006 --> 00:01:54,460
"A girlfriend shall be deemed
quote living with un-quote Leonard

36
00:01:54,585 --> 00:01:56,900
when she has stayed over
for A: ten consecutive nights,

37
00:01:57,025 --> 00:01:59,347
or B: more than nine nights
in a three week period,

38
00:01:59,472 --> 00:02:02,790
or C: all the weekends of a given month
plus three weeknights.

39
00:02:06,597 --> 00:02:07,747
That's absurd.

40
00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:11,346
You initialed it.
See? L.H., L.H., L.H.

41
00:02:12,010 --> 00:02:15,717
Wait, I only initialed it
because I never thought it would happen!

42
00:02:17,015 --> 00:02:20,910
I initialed another clause naming you
my sidekick in case I get superpowers.

43
00:02:23,496 --> 00:02:24,686
Yes, you did.

44
00:02:26,076 --> 00:02:28,827
Now, to review, the following provisions
are hereby activated:

45
00:02:28,952 --> 00:02:30,944
In the refrigerator,
as opposed to us having

46
00:02:31,069 --> 00:02:33,034
two separate shelves
and one communal shelf,

47
00:02:33,159 --> 00:02:34,970
the three of us now get
individual shelves

48
00:02:35,095 --> 00:02:36,572
and the door becomes communal.

49
00:02:36,869 --> 00:02:40,640
Next, apartment vacuuming shall be
increased from two to three times a week

50
00:02:40,765 --> 00:02:43,496
to accommodate the increased
accumulation of dead skin cells.

51
00:02:43,693 --> 00:02:46,040
Third, the bathroom schedule.
I'm given to understand

52
00:02:46,210 --> 00:02:49,722
women have different needs,
so, we'll have to discuss that.

53
00:02:52,601 --> 00:02:53,840
I'm going to bed.

54
00:02:55,365 --> 00:02:56,778
At least take this with you.

55
00:02:56,903 --> 00:03:00,353
And have Stephanie initial
here, here, here, here...

56
00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:03,498
and... here.

57
00:03:04,228 --> 00:03:05,892
This states that she does not now

58
00:03:06,064 --> 00:03:09,230
nor does she intend to play
a percussive or brass instrument.

59
00:03:25,090 --> 00:03:28,461
Sure sounds like a tumor
pressing on the auditory nerve.

60
00:03:47,438 --> 00:03:49,102
Subtitles: sub-way.fr

61
00:03:53,256 --> 00:03:55,634
No, absolutely not.

62
00:03:55,759 --> 00:03:58,367
It's not a big deal.
We have latex gloves.

63
00:03:59,647 --> 00:04:01,330
I don't care what the symptoms are,

64
00:04:01,455 --> 00:04:04,490
my girlfriend is not going
to give you a prostate exam.

65
00:04:06,691 --> 00:04:07,692
Hi, Sheldon.

66
00:04:07,817 --> 00:04:09,659
Good morning, Dr. Stephanie.

67
00:04:09,784 --> 00:04:12,734
I trust Leonard satisfied
you sexually last night.

68
00:04:15,477 --> 00:04:17,420
We don't ask questions like that.

69
00:04:17,634 --> 00:04:19,547
I heard you ask it over and over.

70
00:04:21,244 --> 00:04:23,717
How is it inappropriate for me
to ask it once?

71
00:04:24,354 --> 00:04:27,263
- He did very nicely.
- See? She's not offended.

72
00:04:27,485 --> 00:04:29,642
And now you finally have an answer.

73
00:04:31,206 --> 00:04:32,810
Out of coffee. Need coffee.

74
00:04:35,124 --> 00:04:37,273
Hi! Stephanie, right?

75
00:04:38,043 --> 00:04:39,645
And-And you are?

76
00:04:40,176 --> 00:04:41,902
Penny, I live across the hall.

77
00:04:42,951 --> 00:04:45,197
- I've heard a lot about you.
- Really?

78
00:04:45,923 --> 00:04:47,998
I haven't heard
a thing about you.

79
00:04:58,049 --> 00:05:01,270
Why haven't I heard a thing about
this woman who lives across the hall

80
00:05:01,395 --> 00:05:03,745
and comes into your apartment
in the morning...

81
00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:05,261
in her underwear?

82
00:05:12,257 --> 00:05:14,361
She's heard about you because we're,

83
00:05:14,740 --> 00:05:18,314
you know, involved and you haven't
heard about her because...

84
00:05:20,353 --> 00:05:22,193
I never slept with her,
I swear!

85
00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:26,471
In Leonard's defense,
it wasn't for lack of trying.

86
00:05:28,471 --> 00:05:30,659
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

87
00:05:32,026 --> 00:05:33,608
Look, I'm just saying...

88
00:05:34,495 --> 00:05:37,308
Penny is one
of our many neighbors,

89
00:05:37,756 --> 00:05:40,689
and in our building,
neighbors come and go,

90
00:05:40,814 --> 00:05:42,839
it's very casual,
no dress code.

91
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:46,685
In fact, some mornings
I'll just mosey down to the third floor

92
00:05:46,810 --> 00:05:49,470
in my pajamas and have cereal
with Mrs. Vartabedian.

93
00:05:49,642 --> 00:05:50,455
Really?

94
00:05:50,580 --> 00:05:54,058
I have never once been invited
to have cereal with Mrs. Vartabedian.

95
00:05:54,456 --> 00:05:55,684
She doesn't like you.

96
00:05:57,734 --> 00:05:59,455
You have a gall bladder to remove

97
00:05:59,580 --> 00:06:02,733
and I have to get in the shower
and Penny has clothes to put on, so...

98
00:06:04,250 --> 00:06:07,446
- It was very nice meeting you.
- Nice to finally meet you, too.

99
00:06:07,619 --> 00:06:10,095
- And I'll see you tonight?
- Okay, bye-bye.

100
00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:23,013
What could I possibly have done
to offend Mrs. Vartabedian?

101
00:06:24,632 --> 00:06:27,036
So, that's Stephanie, huh?

102
00:06:29,110 --> 00:06:32,459
Why do I feel like I'm the one
that just got the prostate exam?

103
00:06:38,059 --> 00:06:39,698
You know, she seems very nice.

104
00:06:39,823 --> 00:06:41,571
Oh, she is. She's terrific.

105
00:06:41,696 --> 00:06:44,257
And she's proving
to be a valuable roommate.

106
00:06:44,382 --> 00:06:46,398
Roommate?
You guys are living together?

107
00:06:46,523 --> 00:06:47,722
Like hippies.

108
00:06:48,660 --> 00:06:50,155
We're not living together.

109
00:06:50,328 --> 00:06:52,846
Do I have to pull out
the paperwork again?

110
00:06:53,134 --> 00:06:55,577
- We're not living together.
- Are you sure?

111
00:06:55,747 --> 00:06:57,496
How could I not be sure?

112
00:06:57,914 --> 00:06:59,475
Well, let's find out.

113
00:07:00,181 --> 00:07:02,402
Don't you think if a woman
was living with me

114
00:07:02,527 --> 00:07:04,452
I'd be the first one
to know about it?

115
00:07:04,577 --> 00:07:07,172
Sweetie, you'd be the last one
to know about it.

116
00:07:11,990 --> 00:07:13,325
Cute dresses.

117
00:07:14,687 --> 00:07:16,495
I bet this looks great on you!

118
00:07:18,483 --> 00:07:20,122
We're not living together.

119
00:07:21,827 --> 00:07:23,800
Scented candles, fuzzy slippers,

120
00:07:24,498 --> 00:07:25,937
Floral bed sheets?

121
00:07:27,294 --> 00:07:30,051
- We're not living together.
- Okay, moving on.

122
00:07:30,176 --> 00:07:32,476
Now, who are these guys
at Disney World?

123
00:07:34,343 --> 00:07:35,884
The big dog is Goofy,

124
00:07:37,310 --> 00:07:40,978
and the older couple
with the mouse ears, I have no idea.

125
00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:44,585
We're not living together!

126
00:07:45,775 --> 00:07:48,097
You're going
to go down swinging, huh?

127
00:07:48,405 --> 00:07:50,640
All right, well,
we got your body lotion,

128
00:07:50,765 --> 00:07:53,080
your InStyle Magazine,
your jewelry box.

129
00:07:53,205 --> 00:07:54,205
We're not...

130
00:07:54,775 --> 00:07:56,234
Where's my Bat Signal?

131
00:07:57,705 --> 00:07:59,185
You have a Bat Signal?

132
00:07:59,456 --> 00:08:00,474
I did.

133
00:08:01,612 --> 00:08:02,968
It was right here.

134
00:08:04,342 --> 00:08:05,529
She must've...

135
00:08:06,789 --> 00:08:08,968
Oh, my God, we're living together.

136
00:08:10,721 --> 00:08:12,821
Really? What was your first clue?

137
00:08:27,687 --> 00:08:28,797
New pants?

138
00:08:29,504 --> 00:08:31,771
Yeah, Stephanie got them for me.

139
00:08:33,067 --> 00:08:34,218
Nice. Cotton?

140
00:08:34,390 --> 00:08:37,334
Actually, I think it's more
of a wool, fire ant blend.

141
00:08:39,130 --> 00:08:41,975
So, the girlfriend's buying
clothes for you. Sounds serious.

142
00:08:42,148 --> 00:08:43,446
It is actually.

143
00:08:43,651 --> 00:08:45,947
In fact, I gave it a lot of thought

144
00:08:46,260 --> 00:08:48,941
and I decided it was time
for us to live together.

145
00:08:51,376 --> 00:08:53,112
Leonard, huge mistake.

146
00:08:53,335 --> 00:08:55,785
There's a whole buffet
of women out there

147
00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:57,830
and you're just
standing in the corner

148
00:08:57,955 --> 00:09:00,577
eating the same deviled egg
over and over again.

149
00:09:02,174 --> 00:09:04,516
At least I have an egg.
What do you have?

150
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:08,788
A veritable smorgasbord
of potential sexual partners.

151
00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:11,359
See the blonde over there?

152
00:09:13,012 --> 00:09:15,056
I can hit on her and you can't.

153
00:09:16,918 --> 00:09:18,350
So, go hit on her.

154
00:09:23,299 --> 00:09:24,714
She's not my type.

155
00:09:26,055 --> 00:09:28,118
Too bad, 'cause she was
checking you out before.

156
00:09:28,243 --> 00:09:30,524
- She was?
- Of course not. Look at her.

157
00:09:32,945 --> 00:09:34,737
I don't care what you guys think.

158
00:09:34,958 --> 00:09:37,543
Stephanie and I
are very happy living together.

159
00:09:37,668 --> 00:09:40,909
I will give either of you 20 dollars,
right now to trade pants with me.

160
00:09:48,518 --> 00:09:49,918
What are you doing here?

161
00:09:50,091 --> 00:09:51,091
Hang on.

162
00:09:52,349 --> 00:09:54,306
130 over 80.

163
00:09:54,793 --> 00:09:56,114
It's a little high.

164
00:09:56,719 --> 00:09:59,774
We can attribute that to the stress
of sneaking past the security desk.

165
00:10:00,663 --> 00:10:02,974
Where did you get the stethoscope
and the blood pressure cuff?

166
00:10:03,146 --> 00:10:05,893
My aunt Marion gave them
to me for my 12th birthday.

167
00:10:07,483 --> 00:10:09,342
She thought if I failed
at theoretical physics

168
00:10:09,467 --> 00:10:11,774
that I should have
a trade to fall back on.

169
00:10:13,239 --> 00:10:16,431
And by the way, the blood pressure cuff
is called a sphygmomanometer.

170
00:10:17,264 --> 00:10:18,116
Thank you.

171
00:10:18,286 --> 00:10:20,158
Didn't they teach you that
in medical school?

172
00:10:21,870 --> 00:10:23,803
- I'm busy here, Sheldon.
- I understand.

173
00:10:23,928 --> 00:10:26,549
All I need is for you
to authorize these tests.

174
00:10:27,593 --> 00:10:30,959
A cardiac stress test,
a full body MRI, an electromyogram,

175
00:10:31,132 --> 00:10:33,356
a CBC, baseline glucose.
Upper GI?

176
00:10:34,093 --> 00:10:35,619
And an exploratory laparoscopy.

177
00:10:35,744 --> 00:10:37,893
Last time I had hiccups,
it felt like my diaphragm

178
00:10:38,018 --> 00:10:39,677
was just going through the motions.

179
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:41,556
Go home.

180
00:10:42,655 --> 00:10:44,307
Can I at least have the upper GI?

181
00:10:45,235 --> 00:10:46,945
I already drank the barium!

182
00:10:51,494 --> 00:10:53,267
Good. Do you have
any fabric softener?

183
00:10:53,392 --> 00:10:54,392
Yeah, sure.

184
00:11:04,048 --> 00:11:06,342
What are you washing?
A crocodile?

185
00:11:07,884 --> 00:11:09,833
No, the pants that Stephanie got me.

186
00:11:10,826 --> 00:11:13,502
Sweetie, you can't machine wash these.
They'll be ruined.

187
00:11:13,675 --> 00:11:15,337
- Are you sure?
- Absolutely.

188
00:11:19,215 --> 00:11:20,844
I wish you'd told me that sooner.

189
00:11:24,735 --> 00:11:27,350
- Are you guys having problems?
- No, everything's fine.

190
00:11:28,072 --> 00:11:29,072
Really?

191
00:11:29,324 --> 00:11:30,602
Yeah, it's wonderful.

192
00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:35,827
Maybe this whole living together

193
00:11:35,952 --> 00:11:38,331
happened kind of suddenly,
but it's fine, it's great.

194
00:11:39,075 --> 00:11:41,898
You know, if you're uncomfortable
with the way things are going,

195
00:11:42,023 --> 00:11:43,596
you're allowed to say something.

196
00:11:44,118 --> 00:11:46,126
Are you sure?
That doesn't sound right.

197
00:11:47,095 --> 00:11:49,706
Believe me, your feelings
are just as important as hers.

198
00:11:50,907 --> 00:11:53,257
No, that doesn't sound right either.

199
00:11:54,507 --> 00:11:57,055
Just tell her you need
the relationship to move at a pace

200
00:11:57,180 --> 00:11:59,007
that you both are comfortable with.

201
00:12:00,389 --> 00:12:02,773
Yeah, I could say
something like that to her.

202
00:12:03,855 --> 00:12:05,063
I'll go do that.

203
00:12:06,112 --> 00:12:07,016
Thank you.

204
00:12:07,186 --> 00:12:08,186
Sure.

205
00:12:13,246 --> 00:12:15,596
You have a really
good grasp on this.

206
00:12:16,029 --> 00:12:17,613
Maybe you could talk to her?

207
00:12:19,128 --> 00:12:20,527
You're kidding, right?

208
00:12:21,628 --> 00:12:23,078
No, but that's okay.

209
00:12:26,260 --> 00:12:27,710
I'll go talk to her.

210
00:12:30,010 --> 00:12:31,038
Want to come with?

211
00:12:32,927 --> 00:12:33,931
Go!

212
00:12:47,143 --> 00:12:48,143
What?

213
00:12:49,694 --> 00:12:52,510
You were right.
Your larynx is terribly inflamed.

214
00:12:52,635 --> 00:12:54,353
I've never seen anything like it.

215
00:12:54,478 --> 00:12:55,701
I knew it!

216
00:12:58,076 --> 00:12:59,226
What do I do?!

217
00:13:00,954 --> 00:13:03,904
You're going to need
to stop talking immediately.

218
00:13:05,274 --> 00:13:06,342
For how long...

219
00:13:08,590 --> 00:13:09,640
Immediately.

220
00:13:23,237 --> 00:13:24,507
What's going on?

221
00:13:24,936 --> 00:13:27,230
I just performed a "Sheldonectomy."

222
00:13:29,107 --> 00:13:31,727
Careful, if you don't get it all,
it'll only come back worse.

223
00:13:33,265 --> 00:13:34,021
Gotcha.

224
00:13:34,697 --> 00:13:35,996
We need to talk.

225
00:13:37,947 --> 00:13:40,610
Do we need to talk
or "do we need to talk"?

226
00:13:41,317 --> 00:13:42,870
I don't know what that means.

227
00:13:44,548 --> 00:13:47,010
Why don't you just tell me
what it is you have to tell me?

228
00:13:50,069 --> 00:13:51,330
Look, it's just that...

229
00:13:51,574 --> 00:13:54,824
things between you and me
have been going pretty quick.

230
00:13:56,070 --> 00:13:56,835
And...?

231
00:13:57,563 --> 00:13:59,003
It's just a little scary.

232
00:13:59,456 --> 00:14:01,706
Well, yeah, but scary good, right?

233
00:14:02,460 --> 00:14:03,460
Sure...

234
00:14:05,527 --> 00:14:07,238
When is scary not good?

235
00:14:09,136 --> 00:14:10,136
But...

236
00:14:12,192 --> 00:14:13,352
I have feelings, right?

237
00:14:13,911 --> 00:14:17,021
Okay, and it's perfectly okay
to express those feelings, right?

238
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:19,916
Of course, honey, why don't you tell me
what it is you're feeling?

239
00:14:20,041 --> 00:14:22,231
Okay, well, I think
it's important to remember

240
00:14:22,356 --> 00:14:24,906
that we move at a pace

241
00:14:25,317 --> 00:14:27,764
that is our speed and...

242
00:14:29,715 --> 00:14:31,111
Oh, shoot, I had it!

243
00:14:33,158 --> 00:14:36,130
How about this?
How about I tell you what I'm feeling?

244
00:14:36,562 --> 00:14:37,597
What's that?

245
00:14:41,087 --> 00:14:42,484
Really? Right now?

246
00:14:43,669 --> 00:14:44,466
Why not?

247
00:14:45,011 --> 00:14:47,340
I just ate, aren't you
supposed to wait an hour?

248
00:14:50,699 --> 00:14:52,224
I think that's for swimming.

249
00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:58,179
I just hope I don't get cramps.

250
00:15:03,111 --> 00:15:05,240
- I put your clothes in the dryer.
- Thank you.

251
00:15:05,365 --> 00:15:07,215
- Your pants are ruined.
- Good.

252
00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:11,577
So, how did the talk
with Stephanie go?

253
00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:14,497
On one level, really...

254
00:15:15,030 --> 00:15:16,112
really well.

255
00:15:17,787 --> 00:15:20,084
So, you told her you wanted
to slow things down?

256
00:15:20,496 --> 00:15:21,594
Not specifically,

257
00:15:21,719 --> 00:15:24,480
but I did tell her
that I had feelings.

258
00:15:24,843 --> 00:15:26,347
Good, good.

259
00:15:27,321 --> 00:15:28,635
And then what?

260
00:15:29,705 --> 00:15:31,007
And then...

261
00:15:31,650 --> 00:15:33,690
the subject got changed somehow.

262
00:15:35,092 --> 00:15:36,742
You had sex, didn't you?

263
00:15:39,186 --> 00:15:40,186
Little bit.

264
00:15:43,665 --> 00:15:44,665
What?

265
00:15:44,791 --> 00:15:45,791
Nothing.

266
00:15:50,395 --> 00:15:52,950
Okay, well, it sounds
like things are going to work out.

267
00:15:53,955 --> 00:15:54,955
It's all good.

268
00:15:55,263 --> 00:15:58,040
Everything's going to work out.
One way or another.

269
00:15:58,668 --> 00:16:00,209
God, come on, Leonard,

270
00:16:00,431 --> 00:16:03,796
you are entitled to try and make
things go the way you want them to.

271
00:16:04,687 --> 00:16:05,976
- Really?
- Yes!

272
00:16:06,426 --> 00:16:08,969
You don't always have to go along
with what the woman wants.

273
00:16:12,061 --> 00:16:12,845
What?

274
00:16:13,072 --> 00:16:15,722
Nothing. Just...
rethinking my whole life.

275
00:16:22,631 --> 00:16:23,902
Here's the thing.

276
00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:26,803
I'm afraid that if I ask her
to move out,

277
00:16:26,928 --> 00:16:28,121
she'll just dump me.

278
00:16:28,990 --> 00:16:30,617
It's a chance you have to take.

279
00:16:30,902 --> 00:16:33,117
I mean, look,
if it's meant to be, it'll be.

280
00:16:34,585 --> 00:16:35,910
Very comforting.

281
00:16:39,803 --> 00:16:41,189
What do I say to her?

282
00:16:41,722 --> 00:16:43,589
I don't know.
What have women said to you

283
00:16:43,714 --> 00:16:45,713
when they wanted to slow
a relationship down?

284
00:16:46,541 --> 00:16:49,631
I really like you, but I want
to see how things go with Mark?

285
00:16:53,173 --> 00:16:54,971
Yeah, that'll slow it down.

286
00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:05,331
I'm sorry, I totally interrupted you.
What were you saying?

287
00:17:08,435 --> 00:17:09,674
Right, yeah...

288
00:17:12,626 --> 00:17:13,849
Here's the thing.

289
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:15,951
I really like you.

290
00:17:16,874 --> 00:17:19,023
God, here comes the speech.

291
00:17:23,146 --> 00:17:24,196
What speech?

292
00:17:25,396 --> 00:17:26,846
"I really like you,

293
00:17:27,275 --> 00:17:30,152
"but maybe we should spend
a little less time together

294
00:17:30,277 --> 00:17:31,607
"'cause I need my space

295
00:17:32,124 --> 00:17:33,834
"but I'll call you on Tuesday"

296
00:17:33,959 --> 00:17:36,054
and then you never call me,
so I call you,

297
00:17:36,224 --> 00:17:39,099
but you don't call me back
and then when I run into you

298
00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:41,697
at the coffee shop, you pretend
like you've been having problems

299
00:17:41,822 --> 00:17:44,003
with your voice mail
and I know that you're lying,

300
00:17:44,128 --> 00:17:45,791
but I pretend like I don't care

301
00:17:46,142 --> 00:17:48,181
even though I'm dying inside!

302
00:17:58,124 --> 00:18:00,101
I wasn't going to say any of that.

303
00:18:00,226 --> 00:18:01,716
I was just going to say...

304
00:18:03,790 --> 00:18:05,226
I really like you.

305
00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:08,611
Oh, good!

306
00:18:09,758 --> 00:18:11,808
'Cause I really like you, too.

307
00:18:16,190 --> 00:18:17,194
Terrific.

308
00:18:28,278 --> 00:18:29,428
Nice sweater.

309
00:18:32,045 --> 00:18:33,945
Stephanie got it for me.
It's kind of fun.

310
00:18:34,483 --> 00:18:36,507
It's got a big bird on it, dude.

311
00:18:38,288 --> 00:18:40,438
Yeah, yeah, that's the fun part.

312
00:18:41,358 --> 00:18:43,418
We're also getting
new curtains for my bedroom,

313
00:18:43,543 --> 00:18:46,985
and a dust ruffle, and a duvet,
and I don't even know what a duvet is,

314
00:18:47,110 --> 00:18:49,237
but I'm pretty sure if I did
I wouldn't want one,

315
00:18:49,658 --> 00:18:51,524
but every time I talk to her
about moving out,

316
00:18:51,649 --> 00:18:53,303
she cries and we have sex.

317
00:18:54,890 --> 00:18:57,729
You're lucky. With me,
it's usually the other way around.

318
00:18:59,771 --> 00:19:02,432
You know, if you can't talk to her,
why don't you just text her?

319
00:19:03,064 --> 00:19:06,269
- Isn't that kind of cowardly?
- Yeah, it's beyond contemptible.

320
00:19:07,134 --> 00:19:07,898
True,

321
00:19:08,023 --> 00:19:10,750
but on the other hand
you are wearing a bird sweater.

322
00:19:15,265 --> 00:19:16,265
Sold.

323
00:19:19,229 --> 00:19:21,659
"I think it would be better
for our relationship

324
00:19:22,555 --> 00:19:25,017
"if you moved back to your place."

325
00:19:27,019 --> 00:19:28,019
There.

326
00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:31,914
- It's done.
- Good for you.

327
00:19:33,201 --> 00:19:34,205
Good for me.

328
00:19:35,405 --> 00:19:36,800
I'll never have sex again.

329
00:19:42,968 --> 00:19:44,258
I was wrong. See ya.

330
00:20:07,029 --> 00:20:10,056
<i>I have an inflamed larynx.</i>

331
00:20:17,204 --> 00:20:19,754
<i>We are out of herbal tea.</i>

332
00:20:20,006 --> 00:20:21,342
<i>Do you have any?</i>

333
00:20:25,465 --> 00:20:26,891
Okay, let me check.

334
00:20:30,638 --> 00:20:34,121
<i>Some hiney would be nice, too.</i>

335
00:20:35,852 --> 00:20:36,852
Hiney?

336
00:20:40,416 --> 00:20:41,416
Honey.