1 00:00:00,270 --> 00:00:02,088 Okay, Raj. 2 00:00:02,678 --> 00:00:05,078 Hand me the #6 Torx screwdriver. 3 00:00:06,761 --> 00:00:07,862 Stop. 4 00:00:09,029 --> 00:00:10,750 We can't do this. It's not right. 5 00:00:11,500 --> 00:00:14,508 You have two choices. Either you let him put a bigger hard drive in the TiVo, 6 00:00:14,633 --> 00:00:16,642 or you delete stuff before we go out of town. 7 00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:19,342 But once you open the box, you've voided the warranty. 8 00:00:20,026 --> 00:00:21,094 The warranty 9 00:00:21,318 --> 00:00:23,972 is a sacred covenant we've entered into with the manufacturer. 10 00:00:24,201 --> 00:00:25,927 He offers to stand by his equipment, 11 00:00:26,052 --> 00:00:29,643 and we in return agree not to violate the integrity of the internal hardware. 12 00:00:29,768 --> 00:00:31,221 This little orange sticker 13 00:00:31,346 --> 00:00:34,367 is all that stands between us and anarchy. 14 00:00:36,227 --> 00:00:38,003 Then we won't touch the hard drive. 15 00:00:38,128 --> 00:00:40,807 We'll just erase the first season of Battlestar. 16 00:00:42,971 --> 00:00:44,492 There. We're outlaws. 17 00:00:46,503 --> 00:00:48,037 Is this going to be big enough? 18 00:00:48,216 --> 00:00:49,301 It's perfect. 19 00:00:52,526 --> 00:00:55,008 For taking daffodils to your unicorn. 20 00:00:57,022 --> 00:00:59,078 It's just for my notebooks. Thanks, Penny. 21 00:00:59,203 --> 00:01:01,718 I love San Francisco. I wish I was going with you. 22 00:01:02,016 --> 00:01:05,395 I understand your envy. This is a can't-miss symposium. 23 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:09,319 There are going to be discussions on bioorganic cellular computer devices, 24 00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:11,879 the advancements in multi-threaded task completion, 25 00:01:12,449 --> 00:01:15,567 plus a roundtable on the nonequilibrium Green's function approach 26 00:01:15,692 --> 00:01:17,900 to the photoionization process in atoms. 27 00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:22,252 When I go, I usually just get hammered and ride the cable cars. 28 00:01:23,043 --> 00:01:24,699 This conference is kind of a big thing. 29 00:01:24,878 --> 00:01:27,243 The keynote address is being delivered by George Smoot. 30 00:01:27,785 --> 00:01:29,579 Oh, my God, the George Smoot? 31 00:01:29,907 --> 00:01:32,435 - You've heard of him? - Of course I haven't. 32 00:01:33,845 --> 00:01:36,593 George Smoot is a Nobel Prize-winning physicist, 33 00:01:36,718 --> 00:01:38,504 one of the great minds of our time. 34 00:01:38,900 --> 00:01:41,398 His work in black body form and anisotropy 35 00:01:41,523 --> 00:01:43,526 of the cosmic microwave background radiation 36 00:01:43,651 --> 00:01:46,846 cemented our understanding of the origin of the universe. 37 00:01:47,079 --> 00:01:49,829 It's kind of a funny name, though. "Smoot." 38 00:01:53,823 --> 00:01:55,355 It's like talking to a chimp. 39 00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:00,109 Now that I've been completely insulted, have a good flight. 40 00:02:00,288 --> 00:02:01,361 I wish. 41 00:02:01,529 --> 00:02:03,404 We're not flying. We're taking the train. 42 00:02:03,583 --> 00:02:05,573 - Oh, cool. - Yeah, cool. 43 00:02:06,038 --> 00:02:09,535 Seven times as long as flying, and costs almost twice as much. 44 00:02:10,914 --> 00:02:13,497 - Then why are you doing it? - We had a vote. 45 00:02:13,622 --> 00:02:15,958 Three of us voted for airplane. Sheldon voted for train. 46 00:02:16,179 --> 00:02:17,927 So we're taking the train. 47 00:02:19,611 --> 00:02:21,422 Don't say it like that. Say it like: 48 00:02:21,671 --> 00:02:23,421 "We're taking the train!" 49 00:02:45,490 --> 00:02:47,156 Subtitles: The FW Team 50 00:02:50,133 --> 00:02:51,809 We're all going over to the Apple store 51 00:02:51,934 --> 00:02:54,631 to make fun of the guys at the Genius Bar. You want to come? 52 00:02:55,510 --> 00:02:58,136 I always enjoy that, but I'm a little busy. 53 00:02:58,304 --> 00:02:59,429 What are you doing? 54 00:02:59,597 --> 00:03:01,807 I'm simplifying the task of packing for our trip. 55 00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:04,371 See, by attaching RFID tags to my clothing, 56 00:03:04,496 --> 00:03:05,948 it will enable my laptop 57 00:03:06,073 --> 00:03:08,145 to read and identify the items with this wand. 58 00:03:08,356 --> 00:03:10,790 I will then cross-reference them against destination, 59 00:03:10,915 --> 00:03:12,498 anticipated activity spectrum, 60 00:03:12,623 --> 00:03:15,573 weather conditions, duration of trip, et cetera. 61 00:03:18,610 --> 00:03:20,574 That does sound much simpler. 62 00:03:22,370 --> 00:03:23,831 How long is this going to take? 63 00:03:23,956 --> 00:03:26,471 Assuming I can keep up this pace, three hours, 11 minutes. 64 00:03:26,596 --> 00:03:30,390 Plus however long it takes to conclude this fairly pointless conversation. 65 00:03:33,065 --> 00:03:36,174 Teasing the guys at the Apple store seems a little redundant now. 66 00:03:36,342 --> 00:03:38,884 - I don't follow. - I wouldn't expect you to. See you. 67 00:03:43,257 --> 00:03:45,021 Socks: one pair, 68 00:03:45,788 --> 00:03:48,055 cotton, argyle, blue. 69 00:03:52,542 --> 00:03:54,306 Socks: one pair, 70 00:03:54,876 --> 00:03:57,120 cotton, argyle, blue. 71 00:04:02,187 --> 00:04:03,744 What on earth are you doing? 72 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:07,329 Whatever it is, I'm guessing we're doing it wrong. 73 00:04:07,613 --> 00:04:11,209 Gentlemen, this is the Coast Starlight, 74 00:04:11,419 --> 00:04:13,201 one of the great American trains 75 00:04:13,453 --> 00:04:16,129 operating on one of the classic American routes. 76 00:04:16,300 --> 00:04:19,132 On this side, you'll see panoramic ocean vistas 77 00:04:19,303 --> 00:04:21,789 inaccessible to any other form of transportation, 78 00:04:22,263 --> 00:04:25,555 while on your side, you'll be treated to 350 miles 79 00:04:25,725 --> 00:04:27,178 of CostCos, Jiffy Lubes, 80 00:04:27,303 --> 00:04:29,461 and cinderblock homes with above-ground pools. 81 00:04:32,095 --> 00:04:34,232 - Come on, Raj. - What's wrong with Jiffy Lubes? 82 00:04:38,605 --> 00:04:40,827 - Why not? - That's over the wheelbase. 83 00:04:40,952 --> 00:04:42,400 Are you completely unfamiliar 84 00:04:42,525 --> 00:04:45,140 with the suspension characteristics of a pre-1980 85 00:04:45,265 --> 00:04:48,215 Pullman-built Superliner Deluxe passenger coach? 86 00:04:48,915 --> 00:04:50,609 We've been on this train 90 seconds, 87 00:04:50,734 --> 00:04:53,018 and you've already said a thousand words. 88 00:04:53,143 --> 00:04:55,752 Just tell us where to sit and shut up. 89 00:04:58,066 --> 00:04:59,066 Here. 90 00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:02,185 I'm hoping once you reap the endorphic rewards 91 00:05:02,310 --> 00:05:05,498 of the steady clickety-clack of steel wheels on polished rails, 92 00:05:05,623 --> 00:05:08,558 - your sour disposition will abate. - Yeah, maybe. 93 00:05:09,052 --> 00:05:12,112 Meanwhile, back in the 21st century, people are raising their tray tables 94 00:05:12,237 --> 00:05:14,268 and putting their seat-backs in an upright position 95 00:05:14,393 --> 00:05:16,853 'cause it's time to land in San Francisco. 96 00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:20,857 It's not so bad, really. At least these trains have modern plumbing. 97 00:05:20,982 --> 00:05:23,297 In India, you squat over a hole in the train 98 00:05:23,422 --> 00:05:26,522 and expose your naked buttocks to the chilly air of Rajasthan. 99 00:05:27,246 --> 00:05:30,411 He is referring, of course, to third class on Indian Railways' 100 00:05:30,536 --> 00:05:34,019 magnificent Ranakpur Express and its 1,200-kilometer journey 101 00:05:34,219 --> 00:05:36,819 from Maharashtra to the Bikaner Junction. 102 00:05:37,092 --> 00:05:39,838 Oh, look, now he's boring on an international scale. 103 00:05:41,959 --> 00:05:43,259 Holy crap! Look! 104 00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:48,054 - Is that who I think it is? - It can't be. 105 00:05:48,224 --> 00:05:50,640 What would Summer Glau be doing riding the train? 106 00:05:50,888 --> 00:05:54,849 Maybe John Connor's aboard and she's protecting him from an evil Terminator. 107 00:05:55,511 --> 00:05:57,711 Unlikely. That's a television show. 108 00:05:58,692 --> 00:05:59,692 Thank you. 109 00:06:00,541 --> 00:06:02,835 Of course, if SkyNet actually did exist in the future, 110 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:05,373 a perfect way to infiltrate and destroy mankind 111 00:06:05,498 --> 00:06:07,734 would be to send Terminators back posing as actors 112 00:06:07,859 --> 00:06:10,535 who have played Terminators in popular films and television series, 113 00:06:10,706 --> 00:06:12,756 lulling us into a false sense of security, 114 00:06:12,881 --> 00:06:15,765 i.e., "That's Summer Glau from The Sarah Connor Chronicles. 115 00:06:15,890 --> 00:06:18,653 "No, Summer, don't kill me! I'm pro-robot!" 116 00:06:21,922 --> 00:06:24,009 At least he's off the train crap. 117 00:06:29,105 --> 00:06:32,664 I owe you an apology. Taking the train was a stroke of brilliance! 118 00:06:32,789 --> 00:06:34,976 I've actually got a shot at a Terminator. 119 00:06:35,247 --> 00:06:36,974 Please. When it comes to Terminators, 120 00:06:37,099 --> 00:06:40,523 you've got a better shot of scoring with Arnold Schwarzenegger. 121 00:06:41,775 --> 00:06:43,373 You're overlooking something. 122 00:06:43,498 --> 00:06:47,478 I have 11 hours with her in a confined space. 123 00:06:48,458 --> 00:06:50,706 Unless she's willing to jump off a moving train, 124 00:06:50,831 --> 00:06:52,667 tuck and roll down the side of a hill, 125 00:06:52,792 --> 00:06:56,264 she will eventually succumb to the acquired taste 126 00:06:56,389 --> 00:06:58,249 that is Howard Wolowitz. 127 00:07:01,924 --> 00:07:03,755 My money's on tuck and roll. 128 00:07:04,683 --> 00:07:06,945 I'm confused. I thought you were involved 129 00:07:07,070 --> 00:07:09,594 in some sort of socially intimate pairing with Leslie Winkle. 130 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:14,186 - Let me explain to you how this works. - All right. 131 00:07:14,867 --> 00:07:16,142 That's Summer Glau. 132 00:07:18,050 --> 00:07:19,050 That's it. 133 00:07:20,753 --> 00:07:22,984 Hang on a sec. Why do you get first crack at her? 134 00:07:23,611 --> 00:07:24,960 Let's see, couple reasons. 135 00:07:25,085 --> 00:07:27,989 - One, I saw her first. - No, you didn't. I did. 136 00:07:28,989 --> 00:07:31,848 Fair enough. But... then, let me move on to #2. 137 00:07:31,973 --> 00:07:35,245 Unlike you, I can actually talk to women when I'm sober. 138 00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:37,788 You fail to take into account that even mute, 139 00:07:37,972 --> 00:07:39,735 I am foreign and exotic, 140 00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:42,910 while you, on the other hand, are frail and pasty. 141 00:07:45,030 --> 00:07:46,650 You know the old saying, 142 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:49,260 "Pasty and frail never fail." 143 00:07:53,141 --> 00:07:56,099 Excuse me, but what about me? Why don't I get a shot? 144 00:07:56,575 --> 00:07:57,825 Fine, go ahead. 145 00:07:58,187 --> 00:07:59,358 Take a shot. 146 00:08:01,319 --> 00:08:04,067 I've already got a gorgeous blonde back home that I can't score with. 147 00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:05,984 I think I'll let you two take this one. 148 00:08:06,493 --> 00:08:08,820 Is there a place on this train to get alcohol? 149 00:08:08,990 --> 00:08:10,369 Interesting that you ask. 150 00:08:10,494 --> 00:08:13,920 The Coast Starlight recently added the refurbished Pacific Parlour Car. 151 00:08:14,045 --> 00:08:17,447 Built in 1956 and originally known as the Santa Fe Lounge Car, 152 00:08:17,572 --> 00:08:20,625 the lower level is a theater and the upper level is a bar that offers 153 00:08:20,835 --> 00:08:23,710 wine tastings if you're going as far as Portland. 154 00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:27,233 - So aren't you going to go talk to her? - I will, I'm just 155 00:08:27,358 --> 00:08:28,853 working on my opening line. 156 00:08:28,978 --> 00:08:30,985 She's probably heard every possible line. 157 00:08:31,110 --> 00:08:32,595 Why don't you just try "hello"? 158 00:08:32,765 --> 00:08:34,973 No, no, that always creeps girls out. 159 00:08:35,827 --> 00:08:38,142 I need to come up with something that's funny, 160 00:08:38,353 --> 00:08:41,846 smart and delicately suggests that my sexual endowment 161 00:08:41,971 --> 00:08:44,316 is disproportionate to my physical stature. 162 00:08:45,560 --> 00:08:48,110 You're going to need more than 11 hours. 163 00:08:49,238 --> 00:08:51,029 - Oh, no. - What's the matter? 164 00:08:51,397 --> 00:08:53,658 - I forgot my flash drive. - So? 165 00:08:53,827 --> 00:08:55,160 So we have to go back. 166 00:08:55,768 --> 00:08:57,825 Okay, I'm going to say "why" 167 00:08:57,950 --> 00:09:01,500 and your answer cannot be "because I forgot my flash drive." 168 00:09:02,366 --> 00:09:03,553 You don't understand. 169 00:09:03,678 --> 00:09:06,229 My flash drive has my paper on astrophysical probes 170 00:09:06,354 --> 00:09:08,259 of M-theory effects in the early universe 171 00:09:08,384 --> 00:09:10,925 that I was going to give to George Smoot at the conference. 172 00:09:11,094 --> 00:09:13,259 Why do you have to give your paper to George Smoot? 173 00:09:14,249 --> 00:09:16,599 It's brilliant. He needs to read it. 174 00:09:17,885 --> 00:09:20,238 So you'll send him an e-mail when we get back. 175 00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:23,187 Then I won't get to see his face light up as he reads it. 176 00:09:23,609 --> 00:09:26,666 - Right. Of course. - This is an unmitigated disaster. 177 00:09:26,791 --> 00:09:29,287 There's nothing you can do about it, so relax. 178 00:09:29,412 --> 00:09:31,584 Sit back, enjoy the clickety-clack 179 00:09:31,709 --> 00:09:33,613 of the steel wheels on the polished rails. 180 00:09:38,355 --> 00:09:41,975 You forgot your flash drive, you forgot your flash drive... 181 00:09:45,823 --> 00:09:48,336 Only ten hours, 55 minutes to go. 182 00:09:58,211 --> 00:10:00,210 It's hot in here. Must be Summer. 183 00:10:13,235 --> 00:10:15,142 So... where you gals headed? 184 00:10:16,774 --> 00:10:18,891 Okay, I've found the perfect solution. 185 00:10:19,016 --> 00:10:21,274 We get off the train at the next stop in Oxnard. 186 00:10:21,399 --> 00:10:24,623 We then take the 1:13 train back to Union Station. 187 00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:27,161 We take a cab back to the apartment, get my flash drive, 188 00:10:27,286 --> 00:10:30,492 and then race to San Luis Obispo, where, assuming the lights are with us 189 00:10:30,617 --> 00:10:32,738 and minimal traffic, we'll meet the train. 190 00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:36,228 - I've got a better idea. - Are you going to be sarcastic? 191 00:10:36,825 --> 00:10:38,512 You take all the fun out of it for me. 192 00:10:39,965 --> 00:10:42,831 Penny's home. Why don't we call her, have her go in the apartment, 193 00:10:42,956 --> 00:10:44,977 get your flash drive and e-mail you the paper? 194 00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,646 But the flash drive is in a locked drawer in my desk. 195 00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,982 - So? - The key is hidden in my room. 196 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,026 - So? - Penny would have to go into my room. 197 00:10:52,194 --> 00:10:54,354 - So? - People don't go in my room! 198 00:10:55,589 --> 00:10:57,653 I see. It seems once again, 199 00:10:57,778 --> 00:11:00,387 you're caught between a rock and a crazy place. 200 00:11:02,839 --> 00:11:04,371 I hate when that happens. 201 00:11:06,652 --> 00:11:08,341 It's hot in here. Must be Summer. 202 00:11:08,466 --> 00:11:10,336 It's hot in here. Must be Summer. 203 00:11:12,183 --> 00:11:14,167 It's hot in here. Must be Summer. 204 00:11:16,154 --> 00:11:18,594 - That's cute. - Really? I just made it up. 205 00:11:20,514 --> 00:11:22,507 Have you seen Slumdog Millionaire? 206 00:11:23,702 --> 00:11:24,767 Yeah, I loved it. 207 00:11:24,935 --> 00:11:26,769 It's loosely based on my life. 208 00:11:30,591 --> 00:11:33,717 We're putting the play on for one night in this little 99-seat theater. 209 00:11:33,842 --> 00:11:34,779 Can you come? 210 00:11:34,904 --> 00:11:35,861 Oh, great. 211 00:11:36,281 --> 00:11:39,035 Do you know 98 other people that might want to come? 212 00:11:39,655 --> 00:11:40,655 Hang on. 213 00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:43,670 Listen carefully. I'm about to give you 214 00:11:43,795 --> 00:11:46,390 a set of instructions which you must follow to the letter. 215 00:11:46,581 --> 00:11:47,602 Just a sec. 216 00:11:48,182 --> 00:11:50,719 The theater is above a bowling alley, so it's a little noisy, 217 00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:53,872 but it might be the only chance I'll ever get to play Anne Frank. 218 00:11:55,608 --> 00:11:57,120 And the director is brilliant. 219 00:11:57,245 --> 00:12:00,067 He uses the bowling sounds as, like, Nazi artillery. 220 00:12:00,773 --> 00:12:02,179 Great, I'll see you then. 221 00:12:02,925 --> 00:12:04,754 - Hello? - Okay, step four. 222 00:12:06,394 --> 00:12:09,436 Do you see that small plastic case on my dresser? 223 00:12:09,890 --> 00:12:11,397 Your dresser? Who is this? 224 00:12:12,202 --> 00:12:14,566 - It's Sheldon. - Hey, Sheldon! 225 00:12:14,777 --> 00:12:17,517 - How is San Francisco? - I'm not in San Francisco. 226 00:12:17,642 --> 00:12:20,155 I'm on a train. Were you even listening to me? 227 00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:22,164 I was talking to my friend, but what's up? 228 00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:24,079 What's up? I'll tell you what's up. 229 00:12:24,204 --> 00:12:26,950 I'm in a crisis situation, and I need you to marshal 230 00:12:27,075 --> 00:12:29,623 your powers of concentration, limited as they may be... 231 00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:31,139 Give me the phone. 232 00:12:32,985 --> 00:12:34,878 - Hi, Penny. It's Leonard. - Hey, Leonard. 233 00:12:35,046 --> 00:12:37,065 What's going on with Dr. Wackadoodle? 234 00:12:38,454 --> 00:12:40,155 He's calling to ask you a favor. 235 00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:42,572 You might be confused because he didn't use the words, 236 00:12:42,697 --> 00:12:45,097 "Penny," "Sheldon," "please" or "favor." 237 00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:48,809 Enough chitchat. Okay, step one. 238 00:12:49,267 --> 00:12:51,353 Locate your emergency key to our apartment. 239 00:12:51,522 --> 00:12:52,600 Step two: 240 00:12:53,315 --> 00:12:55,313 enter our apartment. Step three:... 241 00:12:57,004 --> 00:12:58,402 Enter my bedroom. 242 00:12:58,959 --> 00:13:01,739 - Step four:... - Hang on, getting another call. 243 00:13:03,272 --> 00:13:04,396 Let me tell you. 244 00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:07,101 Personal robots cannot get here soon enough. 245 00:13:10,138 --> 00:13:11,734 And that bright little star 246 00:13:11,859 --> 00:13:13,875 peeking her head out early today... 247 00:13:14,164 --> 00:13:15,271 that's Venus. 248 00:13:16,328 --> 00:13:17,504 That is so cool. 249 00:13:18,370 --> 00:13:20,896 - You really know a lot about space. - Come on. 250 00:13:21,021 --> 00:13:23,179 When you were on TV in Firefly, 251 00:13:23,304 --> 00:13:25,307 you were actually in space. 252 00:13:26,667 --> 00:13:29,416 You're not one of those guys who really believe that, are you? 253 00:13:29,541 --> 00:13:31,895 You mean one of the hopeless geeks? 254 00:13:32,917 --> 00:13:34,271 Those are crazy people. 255 00:13:37,527 --> 00:13:40,357 Howard, be a dear and get me another one of these. 256 00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:48,306 Now, him, he's one of those geeks. 257 00:13:50,336 --> 00:13:52,823 All right, now, before you enter my bedroom unescorted, 258 00:13:52,948 --> 00:13:56,022 I need you to understand that this onetime grant of access 259 00:13:56,147 --> 00:13:58,468 does not create a permanent easement. 260 00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:01,089 Easement. 261 00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:05,523 It's a legal right of access. Good grief. 262 00:14:07,835 --> 00:14:09,765 What? No, don't put me on hold. 263 00:14:12,969 --> 00:14:14,242 Do you believe him? 264 00:14:14,664 --> 00:14:16,701 Normally around women, he has the personality 265 00:14:16,826 --> 00:14:18,401 of a boiled potato. 266 00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:22,194 Put one beer in him, and he's M. Night Charmalarmalon. 267 00:14:26,022 --> 00:14:28,242 Is that what he's drinking? It's not even real beer. 268 00:14:28,589 --> 00:14:29,618 - What? - Look. 269 00:14:30,528 --> 00:14:31,934 "Non-alcoholic beer." 270 00:14:34,338 --> 00:14:36,275 - What's going on? - I don't know. 271 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:38,877 Some sort of placebo effect, I guess. 272 00:14:39,758 --> 00:14:41,586 Placebo, you say. 273 00:14:41,711 --> 00:14:42,859 Interesting. 274 00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:46,829 Yes, I'm still here. Where am I going? I'm on a train. 275 00:14:46,954 --> 00:14:48,804 Now, what you'll be looking for 276 00:14:48,972 --> 00:14:52,525 is a small wooden box located between a Hoberman's sphere 277 00:14:52,650 --> 00:14:55,133 and a sample of quartz flecked with pyrite. 278 00:14:56,084 --> 00:14:57,487 Hoberman's Sphere. 279 00:14:57,798 --> 00:15:00,244 It's a collapsible icosidodecahedron. 280 00:15:01,965 --> 00:15:04,492 No, the thing with the time on it is my alarm clock. 281 00:15:08,028 --> 00:15:11,159 Actually, in India, the names of constellations are different. 282 00:15:11,533 --> 00:15:13,280 Where you have the Big Dipper, 283 00:15:13,405 --> 00:15:15,258 we have the Big Curry Pot. 284 00:15:16,984 --> 00:15:18,590 You're making that up. 285 00:15:18,715 --> 00:15:19,715 You got me. 286 00:15:20,591 --> 00:15:22,566 Now what are you going to do with me? 287 00:15:28,327 --> 00:15:29,127 Look. 288 00:15:29,252 --> 00:15:31,054 - What am I looking at? - You tell me. 289 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:33,877 "Non-alcoholic beer." 290 00:15:42,025 --> 00:15:45,232 Hi. I'm the small package good things come in. 291 00:15:48,986 --> 00:15:50,031 I got a box, 292 00:15:50,201 --> 00:15:52,451 but there's no key in here. Just letters. 293 00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:54,244 That's the wrong box. Put it back. 294 00:15:55,144 --> 00:15:57,164 Are these letters from your grandmother? 295 00:15:57,359 --> 00:15:58,749 Don't read those letters! 296 00:15:59,171 --> 00:16:02,043 Look, she calls you "Moon Pie." That is so cute. 297 00:16:02,213 --> 00:16:03,638 Put down the letters! 298 00:16:07,548 --> 00:16:08,866 Hey, Penny. It's Leonard. 299 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,989 - How's the train ride? - Delightful. 300 00:16:13,265 --> 00:16:14,628 I don't know what you're doing 301 00:16:14,753 --> 00:16:17,768 but there are little bubbles forming on the corners of Sheldon's mouth. 302 00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:20,812 Yeah, I kind of crossed a line. Put him back on. 303 00:16:20,982 --> 00:16:22,047 Thank you. 304 00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:25,610 - I'm back. - What up, Moon Pie? 305 00:16:27,074 --> 00:16:29,507 No one calls me Moon Pie but Meemaw! 306 00:16:32,051 --> 00:16:33,713 Hey, Penny. Leonard again. 307 00:16:36,049 --> 00:16:39,331 In the dream, you and I were ice skating, just the two of us. 308 00:16:39,736 --> 00:16:42,167 And then, I picked you up by your ankles 309 00:16:42,712 --> 00:16:46,338 and twirled you round and round until your legs tore off. 310 00:16:48,488 --> 00:16:50,634 I tried to stick them back on, 311 00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:52,112 but before I could, 312 00:16:52,237 --> 00:16:55,939 you turned into a giant loaf of pumpernickel bread. 313 00:16:56,990 --> 00:16:58,433 What do you think that means? 314 00:16:59,989 --> 00:17:01,489 I really don't know. 315 00:17:03,469 --> 00:17:04,779 I'll give you a clue. 316 00:17:04,904 --> 00:17:07,513 My favorite sandwich? Salami on pumpernickel. 317 00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:10,320 Is that so? 318 00:17:11,500 --> 00:17:12,877 Did you know "pumpernickel" 319 00:17:13,002 --> 00:17:15,160 comes from the German words "pumper" and "nickel," 320 00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:17,487 which loosely translates to "fart goblin"? 321 00:17:20,896 --> 00:17:21,897 I didn't. 322 00:17:25,489 --> 00:17:27,212 Okay, I found the box. Now what? 323 00:17:27,492 --> 00:17:30,674 You're holding a Japanese puzzle box, which takes 324 00:17:30,842 --> 00:17:32,884 ten precise moves to open. 325 00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:36,301 First, locate the panel with the diamond pattern 326 00:17:36,474 --> 00:17:40,183 and slide the center portion one millimeter to the left. 327 00:17:40,490 --> 00:17:42,637 Then, on the opposite end of the box, 328 00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:45,928 slide the entire panel down two millimeters. 329 00:17:46,053 --> 00:17:47,733 You'll hear a slight click. 330 00:17:47,943 --> 00:17:48,792 Hang on. 331 00:17:48,917 --> 00:17:51,570 Do you have any emotional attachment to this box? 332 00:17:51,742 --> 00:17:53,620 No, it's a novelty I ordered off the Internet. 333 00:17:53,745 --> 00:17:55,157 Did you hear the click? 334 00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:56,325 Not yet. 335 00:18:00,410 --> 00:18:01,450 There it is. 336 00:18:05,666 --> 00:18:07,140 Okay, here's another one. 337 00:18:07,265 --> 00:18:10,828 If you married the famous rock guitarist Johnny Winter, 338 00:18:11,430 --> 00:18:13,016 you'd be Summer Winter. 339 00:18:18,182 --> 00:18:21,638 I'm going to just go for broke here and say I like you. 340 00:18:24,969 --> 00:18:26,479 So here's my question: 341 00:18:26,649 --> 00:18:29,168 do you realistically see any conversational path 342 00:18:29,293 --> 00:18:31,162 that would take us from where we are right now 343 00:18:31,287 --> 00:18:33,694 to a place where I could ask you out and you'd say yes? 344 00:18:38,869 --> 00:18:41,078 Fair enough. I'll leave you in peace. 345 00:18:41,246 --> 00:18:42,256 Thank you. 346 00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:46,585 But before I go, 347 00:18:48,271 --> 00:18:49,252 would you mind 348 00:18:49,422 --> 00:18:52,798 if I take one picture of us together for my Facebook page? 349 00:18:53,182 --> 00:18:54,182 Sure. 350 00:19:04,572 --> 00:19:07,529 Great. Now, can I take one where it looks like we're making out? 351 00:19:10,402 --> 00:19:13,251 Now you're going to insert the flash drive 352 00:19:13,376 --> 00:19:15,196 into the USB port... 353 00:19:19,087 --> 00:19:20,541 She calls me Moon Pie 354 00:19:20,666 --> 00:19:22,139 because I'm nummy-nummy 355 00:19:22,264 --> 00:19:24,076 and she could just eat me up. 356 00:19:25,955 --> 00:19:29,514 Now, please put the flash drive in the USB port. 357 00:19:32,203 --> 00:19:34,923 The one that looks like a little duck's mouth. 358 00:19:37,278 --> 00:19:38,453 How'd it go? 359 00:19:38,578 --> 00:19:40,303 Terminator broke my phone. 360 00:19:46,578 --> 00:19:47,704 Excuse me. 361 00:19:49,852 --> 00:19:51,063 I'll be honest with you. 362 00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:54,712 I've just spent the last two hours imaging various scenarios in my head, 363 00:19:54,837 --> 00:19:57,195 trying to come up with some clever line to say to you. 364 00:19:57,406 --> 00:19:59,364 But I finally realized you're a human being; 365 00:19:59,719 --> 00:20:00,885 I'm a human being. 366 00:20:01,010 --> 00:20:03,034 - I could just say... - Next stop: Santa Barbara. 367 00:20:03,206 --> 00:20:04,716 I'm sorry. This is me. 368 00:20:07,644 --> 00:20:09,128 Hi, my name's Leonard. 369 00:20:12,352 --> 00:20:13,752 So, I'm thinking, you won 370 00:20:13,922 --> 00:20:15,787 the Nobel Prize what, three years ago? 371 00:20:15,912 --> 00:20:19,217 So you must deal with a whole lot of "What has Smoot done lately?" 372 00:20:20,930 --> 00:20:23,822 My thought is we continue my research as a team... 373 00:20:23,947 --> 00:20:26,140 you know, Cooper-Smoot, alphabetical... 374 00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:30,478 and when we win the Nobel Prize, you'll be back on top. 375 00:20:31,261 --> 00:20:33,773 With all due respect, Dr. Cooper, are you on crack? 376 00:20:38,083 --> 00:20:39,894 Fine! Smoot-Cooper. 377 00:20:41,127 --> 00:20:42,225 What a diva.