1
00:00:05,027 --> 00:00:07,228
And now the kung pao chicken.

2
00:00:08,259 --> 00:00:09,467
Smooth.

3
00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:10,681
And finally,

4
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:12,862
my moo shu pork.

5
00:00:18,311 --> 00:00:21,631
Our entire dinner unpacked by robot.

6
00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:24,400
And it only took 28 minutes...

7
00:00:25,836 --> 00:00:28,236
Impressive, but we must be cautious.

8
00:00:28,418 --> 00:00:29,154
Why?

9
00:00:29,656 --> 00:00:32,540
Today, it's a Chinese food
retrieval robot.

10
00:00:32,665 --> 00:00:36,542
Tomorrow, it travels back in time
and tries to kill Sarah Connor.

11
00:00:37,893 --> 00:00:39,456
I don't think so.

12
00:00:39,667 --> 00:00:42,417
No one ever does.
That's why it happens.

13
00:00:44,439 --> 00:00:47,034
Is the food here?
What's that?

14
00:00:47,159 --> 00:00:50,538
That, dear lady,
is the Wolowitz Programmable Hand,

15
00:00:50,663 --> 00:00:54,471
designed for extravehicular repairs
on the International Space Station.

16
00:00:55,028 --> 00:00:56,056
Cool.

17
00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:57,849
Ask me to pass the soy sauce.

18
00:00:58,069 --> 00:01:00,443
Does that come up much
on the space station?

19
00:01:01,124 --> 00:01:03,510
Mostly with Asian
and Jewish astronauts.

20
00:01:04,522 --> 00:01:05,996
All right. Pass the soy sauce.

21
00:01:06,275 --> 00:01:07,275
Coming up.

22
00:01:18,317 --> 00:01:19,371
So how's work?

23
00:01:19,915 --> 00:01:20,918
It's not bad.

24
00:01:21,383 --> 00:01:22,415
Kind of hungry.

25
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:23,596
We all are.

26
00:01:24,753 --> 00:01:26,049
Just wait.

27
00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:29,183
You realize that the technology
that went into this arm

28
00:01:29,308 --> 00:01:32,991
will one day make unskilled food servers
such as yourself obsolete.

29
00:01:34,786 --> 00:01:37,263
They're going to make a robot
that spits on your hamburger?

30
00:01:39,822 --> 00:01:42,185
I thought you broke up.
Why is she here?

31
00:01:43,532 --> 00:01:46,982
Here we go.
Passing the soy sauce.

32
00:01:48,651 --> 00:01:50,026
Put out your hand.

33
00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:57,242
Amazing.

34
00:01:57,410 --> 00:01:58,792
I wouldn't say amazing.

35
00:01:58,917 --> 00:02:01,046
At best, it's a modest leap forward

36
00:02:01,171 --> 00:02:04,545
from the basic technology
that gave us Country Bear Jamboree.

37
00:02:16,679 --> 00:02:17,429
Peace?

38
00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:19,940
No, not peace.
Hang on.

39
00:02:21,517 --> 00:02:24,243
<i>The TBBTeam presents</i>

40
00:02:24,368 --> 00:02:27,577
<i>Episode 4x01:
The Robotic Manipulation</i>

41
00:02:28,225 --> 00:02:30,817
<i>Benji1000, Blek, kiima</i>

42
00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:34,362
<i>MisterCaribou, Strex, Titou</i>

43
00:02:47,810 --> 00:02:50,588
Does NASA know you're using that thing
as a napkin holder?

44
00:02:51,371 --> 00:02:54,300
You kidding? They still think
it's in a secure locker at JPL.

45
00:02:55,511 --> 00:02:56,552
You stole it?

46
00:02:56,849 --> 00:02:57,820
Borrowed.

47
00:02:57,945 --> 00:03:00,306
The trick is to carry it out
like you own it.

48
00:03:03,245 --> 00:03:04,435
Excuse me.

49
00:03:07,350 --> 00:03:08,930
Amy's at the dry cleaners,

50
00:03:09,055 --> 00:03:11,333
and she's made a very amusing pun.

51
00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:14,112
"I don't care for perchloroethylene,

52
00:03:14,237 --> 00:03:16,990
"and I don't like glycol ether."

53
00:03:22,780 --> 00:03:26,085
Get it?
She doesn't like glycol ether.

54
00:03:28,898 --> 00:03:30,295
Sounds like "either."

55
00:03:35,458 --> 00:03:36,885
"LOL."

56
00:03:38,256 --> 00:03:39,846
- Who's Amy?
- His girlfriend.

57
00:03:40,141 --> 00:03:42,128
- Sheldon has a girlfriend?
- She's not.

58
00:03:42,253 --> 00:03:43,830
- For how long?
- Four months.

59
00:03:44,158 --> 00:03:45,348
She's not my girlfriend.

60
00:03:45,473 --> 00:03:48,014
For the past four months
I have been asking you, "What's new?"

61
00:03:48,139 --> 00:03:50,356
and you never told
"Sheldon has a girlfriend"?

62
00:03:50,915 --> 00:03:52,904
She's not my girlfriend.

63
00:03:53,503 --> 00:03:54,903
How did they meet?

64
00:03:55,237 --> 00:03:57,848
Raj and I entered
Sheldon's information on a dating site,

65
00:03:57,973 --> 00:03:59,699
and it spit out Amy Farrah Fowler.

66
00:04:00,780 --> 00:04:01,993
Sheldon and Amy.

67
00:04:02,203 --> 00:04:03,786
Or, as we call them, "Shamy."

68
00:04:05,789 --> 00:04:08,615
Shamy.
I am so digging the Shamy.

69
00:04:09,210 --> 00:04:11,461
All right, everyone pay attention.

70
00:04:11,670 --> 00:04:14,079
Yes, I have a friend
named Amy Farrah Fowler.

71
00:04:14,204 --> 00:04:15,480
Yes, she is female.

72
00:04:15,605 --> 00:04:17,783
Yes, we communicate
on a daily basis,

73
00:04:17,908 --> 00:04:20,094
but no, she is not my girlfriend.

74
00:04:20,850 --> 00:04:23,022
What do you communicate about?

75
00:04:23,315 --> 00:04:25,015
My work in physics,

76
00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:26,696
her work in neurobiology,

77
00:04:26,821 --> 00:04:30,646
and most recently, the possibility
of having a child together.

78
00:04:41,116 --> 00:04:42,408
Wait a minute, a child?

79
00:04:42,759 --> 00:04:45,999
You never see this girl.
You just e-mail and text and Twitter.

80
00:04:46,124 --> 00:04:47,747
Now think about having a baby?

81
00:04:48,286 --> 00:04:50,619
Amy pointed out
that between the two of us,

82
00:04:50,744 --> 00:04:52,802
our genetic material
has the potential

83
00:04:52,927 --> 00:04:56,041
of producing the first
in a line of intellectually superior,

84
00:04:56,166 --> 00:05:00,259
benign overlords to guide humanity
to a brighter tomorrow.

85
00:05:02,595 --> 00:05:05,230
I'm guessing that future historians
will condemn us

86
00:05:05,355 --> 00:05:07,904
for not taking
this opportunity to kill Sheldon.

87
00:05:09,636 --> 00:05:11,823
I have a question.

88
00:05:12,677 --> 00:05:14,679
You don't even like
people touching you.

89
00:05:14,804 --> 00:05:16,461
How are you going to have sex?

90
00:05:18,002 --> 00:05:19,529
Why on Earth would we have sex?

91
00:05:22,179 --> 00:05:24,679
Honey, did your mom
not have the talk with you?

92
00:05:24,804 --> 00:05:27,607
You know,
when your private parts started growing?

93
00:05:28,490 --> 00:05:31,429
I'm quite aware
of the way humans usually reproduce,

94
00:05:31,554 --> 00:05:33,404
which is messy, unsanitary,

95
00:05:33,529 --> 00:05:35,616
and based on living next to you
for three years,

96
00:05:35,741 --> 00:05:38,852
involves loud and unnecessary appeals
to a deity.

97
00:05:40,801 --> 00:05:41,867
Yes, exactly.

98
00:05:45,616 --> 00:05:49,342
Consequently, if Amy and I
choose to bring new life in this world,

99
00:05:49,467 --> 00:05:51,178
it will be accomplished clinically,

100
00:05:51,303 --> 00:05:54,272
with fertility experts in a lab
with petri dishes.

101
00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:58,430
Which reminds me, you have broad hips
and a certain corn-fed vigor.

102
00:05:58,555 --> 00:06:00,755
Is your womb available for rental?

103
00:06:03,302 --> 00:06:05,002
Still digging the Shamy?

104
00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:09,829
Look, before you race off
to the fertility clinic,

105
00:06:09,997 --> 00:06:12,180
you might want to think about...
Gee, I don't know...

106
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:14,750
maybe actually spending some time
with her.

107
00:06:15,062 --> 00:06:15,877
Dating?

108
00:06:17,023 --> 00:06:17,837
I can't.

109
00:06:18,053 --> 00:06:20,214
- Why not?
- She's not my girlfriend.

110
00:06:20,562 --> 00:06:22,555
Don't think of it
as dating a girlfriend.

111
00:06:22,775 --> 00:06:26,179
Think of it as getting to know
the future mother of your child.

112
00:06:28,617 --> 00:06:30,367
I hadn't considered that.

113
00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:33,214
I suppose she will have
to have access to our progeny.

114
00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:35,062
And you don't think I can achieve

115
00:06:35,230 --> 00:06:37,815
the required intimacy
via text messaging?

116
00:06:38,350 --> 00:06:39,567
Probably not.

117
00:06:40,888 --> 00:06:44,015
It'd appear as if the phone companies
have been lying to me.

118
00:06:52,736 --> 00:06:54,990
You do realize
I stand on the other side of the door

119
00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:57,548
waiting for you
to finish knocking three times.

120
00:06:58,490 --> 00:07:01,104
I know. I can see
the shadow of your feet under the door.

121
00:07:02,310 --> 00:07:04,258
My point is it's a waste of time.

122
00:07:04,552 --> 00:07:06,806
If you're looking for an example
of a waste of time,

123
00:07:06,931 --> 00:07:09,555
I would refer you to the conversation
we're having right now.

124
00:07:10,121 --> 00:07:11,182
What do you want?

125
00:07:11,350 --> 00:07:12,910
I've decided to take your advice

126
00:07:13,035 --> 00:07:15,603
and have arranged
to go on a date with Amy Farrah Fowler.

127
00:07:15,974 --> 00:07:17,549
That's great.
Have fun.

128
00:07:18,023 --> 00:07:19,440
Wait.
You have to drive me.

129
00:07:19,608 --> 00:07:20,358
What?

130
00:07:20,645 --> 00:07:21,901
You know I don't drive.

131
00:07:22,069 --> 00:07:23,402
- Go ask Leonard.
- I did.

132
00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:27,681
He said, and I quote:
"Ask Penny, it was her cockamamy idea."

133
00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:30,535
He said "cockamamy"?

134
00:07:30,740 --> 00:07:32,275
Actually, I'm paraphrasing.

135
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,358
I've been raised
in a Christian household,

136
00:07:34,483 --> 00:07:36,486
I'm uncomfortable
with the language he used.

137
00:07:38,178 --> 00:07:41,045
And to be honest,
I'm not comfortable with "cockamamy."

138
00:07:42,069 --> 00:07:43,714
- Fine. When's the date?
- Now.

139
00:07:43,882 --> 00:07:44,757
Now?

140
00:07:45,134 --> 00:07:46,676
Hurry. We're going to be late.

141
00:07:48,384 --> 00:07:51,472
Sheldon, did it ever occur to you
that I might have other plans?

142
00:07:51,945 --> 00:07:53,933
I'm sorry.
Do you have other plans?

143
00:07:57,863 --> 00:08:00,231
Well, no, not per se, but...

144
00:08:01,162 --> 00:08:04,908
So this conversation is as pointless
as your door-knocking soliloquy?

145
00:08:07,135 --> 00:08:09,359
Let me get my cockamamy keys.

146
00:08:13,878 --> 00:08:15,328
That feels so good.

147
00:08:21,156 --> 00:08:22,658
That's the spot.

148
00:08:25,156 --> 00:08:26,679
Dinner's ready!

149
00:08:27,518 --> 00:08:28,509
I'll eat later.

150
00:08:28,677 --> 00:08:29,677
I'm busy!

151
00:08:32,134 --> 00:08:33,734
Just like a real hand.

152
00:08:47,321 --> 00:08:48,902
Thank you for driving me.

153
00:08:49,027 --> 00:08:50,134
You're welcome.

154
00:08:51,946 --> 00:08:54,346
I wish
you weren't wearing flip-flops.

155
00:08:54,570 --> 00:08:56,784
It's dangerous
to drive in flip-flops.

156
00:08:59,143 --> 00:09:01,819
I just don't want
to be yet another flip-flop fatality.

157
00:09:04,861 --> 00:09:06,339
Can I ask you a question?

158
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,704
Given
your community college education,

159
00:09:08,829 --> 00:09:11,636
I encourage you
to ask me as many as possible.

160
00:09:14,079 --> 00:09:17,226
Well, my question is,
and I'm pretty sure I know the answer,

161
00:09:17,752 --> 00:09:19,310
is this your first date?

162
00:09:20,077 --> 00:09:21,077
That depends.

163
00:09:21,763 --> 00:09:23,840
Does square-dancing with my sister

164
00:09:23,965 --> 00:09:27,485
at a Teens for Jesus
Fourth of July Hoedown count as a date?

165
00:09:29,239 --> 00:09:31,139
Then, this is my first date.

166
00:09:32,656 --> 00:09:35,300
Well, then, there's a couple of things
you should probably know.

167
00:09:36,265 --> 00:09:38,913
I have a master's degree
and two doctorates.

168
00:09:39,241 --> 00:09:41,598
The things I should know, I do know.

169
00:09:43,503 --> 00:09:46,462
My point is,
I know more about dating than you,

170
00:09:46,630 --> 00:09:49,632
and if you were as smart as this,
you would listen to me.

171
00:09:50,704 --> 00:09:53,639
If you know so much,
how come I have a date tonight

172
00:09:53,764 --> 00:09:56,138
and you have nothing better to do
than drive me to it?

173
00:09:59,530 --> 00:10:00,393
Fair point.

174
00:10:04,466 --> 00:10:07,066
There's something
I've always wondered about Aquaman.

175
00:10:08,664 --> 00:10:09,792
Where does he poop?

176
00:10:12,641 --> 00:10:13,364
What?

177
00:10:13,689 --> 00:10:15,790
What would a toilet look like
in Atlantis?

178
00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:18,857
How would you flush it?
And when you did flush it,

179
00:10:19,474 --> 00:10:20,772
where would the poop go?

180
00:10:24,967 --> 00:10:26,150
Hold that thought.

181
00:10:27,637 --> 00:10:28,587
What's up?

182
00:10:30,170 --> 00:10:31,170
What...

183
00:10:31,608 --> 00:10:33,496
Hold on.
Howard, slow down.

184
00:10:34,003 --> 00:10:35,734
The robot hand
is stuck on your what?

185
00:10:40,225 --> 00:10:41,693
You're not gonna believe this.

186
00:10:56,731 --> 00:10:59,537
So Amy,
Sheldon tells me you're a neuro...

187
00:10:59,945 --> 00:11:01,060
something-or-other.

188
00:11:02,589 --> 00:11:04,095
Neurobiologist.

189
00:11:05,057 --> 00:11:06,744
Your "check engine" light is on.

190
00:11:09,348 --> 00:11:10,376
It's okay.

191
00:11:10,695 --> 00:11:12,927
- But the light indicates...
- Don't bother.

192
00:11:13,052 --> 00:11:16,659
I've wasted many an hour
tilting at that particular windmill.

193
00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:22,282
What is that scent you're wearing?
It smells great.

194
00:11:22,914 --> 00:11:24,160
Dandruff shampoo.

195
00:11:26,379 --> 00:11:27,625
I have dry scalp.

196
00:11:29,982 --> 00:11:31,676
Your hair looks very nice.

197
00:11:32,612 --> 00:11:34,035
Are you a homosexual?

198
00:11:36,548 --> 00:11:38,489
I'm just giving you a compliment.

199
00:11:40,601 --> 00:11:42,947
Would have been more flattered
if you were a homosexual.

200
00:11:46,315 --> 00:11:47,516
How about some music?

201
00:11:48,089 --> 00:11:49,602
I wouldn't care for that.

202
00:11:53,307 --> 00:11:55,025
Uncomfortable silence it is.

203
00:12:00,966 --> 00:12:04,408
Have you told Amy
what it was like growing up in Texas?

204
00:12:08,450 --> 00:12:09,806
Why don't you tell her?

205
00:12:10,892 --> 00:12:11,892
All right.

206
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:13,458
It was hell.

207
00:12:16,430 --> 00:12:17,504
Any follow up?

208
00:12:25,559 --> 00:12:27,128
I grew up in Nebraska.

209
00:12:27,509 --> 00:12:29,057
Small town outside of Omaha.

210
00:12:29,225 --> 00:12:32,956
A nice place, mostly family farms,
a few meth labs.

211
00:12:34,522 --> 00:12:37,733
I'm sorry, how is this better
than uncomfortable silence?

212
00:12:37,901 --> 00:12:39,794
I don't know.
I was just trying something.

213
00:12:42,103 --> 00:12:42,863
Muggles.

214
00:12:50,702 --> 00:12:53,999
You slipped and fell
into a robot hand?

215
00:12:58,928 --> 00:12:59,951
Penis first?

216
00:13:04,599 --> 00:13:05,761
Now, help me!

217
00:13:05,929 --> 00:13:09,221
I'd suggest a lubricant, but I guess
you fell on some of that as well.

218
00:13:11,008 --> 00:13:12,184
Not funny.

219
00:13:12,418 --> 00:13:13,231
Really?

220
00:13:13,356 --> 00:13:15,199
A robot hand's
got a death grip on your junk.

221
00:13:15,324 --> 00:13:16,641
That's funny, ask anyone.

222
00:13:18,153 --> 00:13:20,776
Before my mother walks in,
get this off me!

223
00:13:20,944 --> 00:13:21,796
Let's see.

224
00:13:21,921 --> 00:13:23,779
Don't touch, the program is paused.

225
00:13:23,947 --> 00:13:25,280
Let's un-pause it.

226
00:13:25,448 --> 00:13:28,247
I loaded the wrong program
it thinks it's holding a screwdriver.

227
00:13:28,372 --> 00:13:30,112
If you continue, it's gonna start...

228
00:13:30,427 --> 00:13:31,427
twisting.

229
00:13:33,672 --> 00:13:35,003
All right.

230
00:13:35,128 --> 00:13:36,243
How about this?

231
00:13:36,368 --> 00:13:40,372
When Winnie the Pooh
got his head stuck in the honey tree,

232
00:13:40,497 --> 00:13:43,995
his friends all grabbed onto him
and pulled and pulled.

233
00:13:46,537 --> 00:13:49,054
You do what you want,
I wont touch another man's honey tree.

234
00:13:50,887 --> 00:13:52,256
All right, forget pulling.

235
00:13:52,381 --> 00:13:54,726
How about we get an electric saw
and cut it off?

236
00:13:54,894 --> 00:13:56,754
What?
No saws!

237
00:13:56,879 --> 00:13:58,447
One circumcision was enough.

238
00:14:02,461 --> 00:14:03,902
How about an acetylene torch?

239
00:14:04,407 --> 00:14:06,172
I can't believe
this needs to be said.

240
00:14:06,297 --> 00:14:08,658
No pulling, no saws, no torches.

241
00:14:08,867 --> 00:14:10,123
What do we do?

242
00:14:10,511 --> 00:14:14,605
Howard, I made cookies
for you and your little friends!

243
00:14:15,631 --> 00:14:17,375
That's great, Mom, thanks!

244
00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:20,361
I'll bring them up
with some Hawaiian Punch!

245
00:14:20,486 --> 00:14:21,672
Don't come up here!

246
00:14:21,797 --> 00:14:24,723
Why not?
Are you ashamed of your mother?

247
00:14:24,848 --> 00:14:26,728
Yes, but that's not the point!

248
00:14:28,383 --> 00:14:29,303
Get me out.

249
00:14:29,809 --> 00:14:31,354
You have any ideas, Raj?

250
00:14:31,682 --> 00:14:34,147
All I can think about
is cookies and Hawaiian Punch.

251
00:14:42,847 --> 00:14:45,509
Here's another possible
topic of conversation.

252
00:14:45,992 --> 00:14:47,529
This is a big night for Sheldon.

253
00:14:48,946 --> 00:14:49,656
Right?

254
00:14:50,358 --> 00:14:51,358
Big night?

255
00:14:52,582 --> 00:14:54,786
The winter solstice is a big night.

256
00:14:55,914 --> 00:14:58,332
It's over 14 hours
in Southern California.

257
00:15:00,076 --> 00:15:01,543
That's an amusing factoid.

258
00:15:06,396 --> 00:15:10,002
My point is,
tonight's Sheldon's first official date.

259
00:15:11,053 --> 00:15:12,053
Discuss.

260
00:15:12,935 --> 00:15:13,764
It's true?

261
00:15:14,075 --> 00:15:19,070
A semi-incestuous Teens for Jesus
Fourth of July Hoedown didn't count.

262
00:15:21,564 --> 00:15:23,774
So, Amy, what about you?
Do you date much?

263
00:15:23,983 --> 00:15:25,083
Once a year.

264
00:15:25,250 --> 00:15:28,228
A deal I made with my mother
for her silence on the matter,

265
00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:30,524
as well
as the use of her George Foreman Grill

266
00:15:30,649 --> 00:15:32,721
that seals in the flavor
without the fat.

267
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:37,746
How about you?
Do you go on many dates?

268
00:15:38,218 --> 00:15:40,707
I wouldn't say many. A few.

269
00:15:44,954 --> 00:15:45,954
What's...

270
00:15:47,257 --> 00:15:51,218
Your characterization of approximately
171 different men as "a few."

271
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:52,344
What...

272
00:15:53,684 --> 00:15:56,098
Where did you get 171 men?

273
00:15:56,307 --> 00:15:57,733
Simple extrapolation.

274
00:15:57,900 --> 00:16:00,978
In the three years that I've known you,
you were single for two.

275
00:16:01,228 --> 00:16:03,939
During that time,
I saw 17 different suitors.

276
00:16:04,223 --> 00:16:07,426
If we work backwards,
correcting for observation bias

277
00:16:07,551 --> 00:16:09,951
and postulate an initial
dating age of 15...

278
00:16:10,613 --> 00:16:13,324
Wait.
I did not start dating at 15.

279
00:16:13,533 --> 00:16:15,659
- I'm sorry. Sixteen?
- Fourteen.

280
00:16:17,772 --> 00:16:18,629
My mistake.

281
00:16:18,754 --> 00:16:22,258
Assuming the left side of a bell curve
peaking around the present,

282
00:16:22,383 --> 00:16:25,794
that would bring
the total up to 193 men.

283
00:16:27,046 --> 00:16:28,213
Plus or minus 8 men.

284
00:16:30,334 --> 00:16:31,216
Remarkable.

285
00:16:31,384 --> 00:16:33,677
Did you have sexual intercourse
with all of these men?

286
00:16:35,263 --> 00:16:37,680
Although that number
would be fairly easy to calculate.

287
00:16:37,805 --> 00:16:42,019
Based on the number of encounters
with strange men leaving her apartment

288
00:16:42,228 --> 00:16:44,303
at the morning,
plus the number of times

289
00:16:44,428 --> 00:16:46,815
she's returned home
wearing the same clothes.

290
00:16:47,183 --> 00:16:48,865
I think you've made your point.

291
00:16:48,990 --> 00:16:53,864
So we multiply 193 minus 21 men
before the loss of virginity

292
00:16:54,334 --> 00:16:58,277
so 172 times 0.18 gives us...

293
00:16:58,444 --> 00:17:00,620
30.96 sexual partners.

294
00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:03,415
Let's round that up to 31.

295
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:09,337
You are so wrong.
It's not even close to the real number.

296
00:17:09,505 --> 00:17:11,251
I'm gonna need a drink over here.

297
00:17:12,467 --> 00:17:15,344
This is very interesting.
Cultural perceptions are subjective.

298
00:17:15,469 --> 00:17:17,554
Penny, to your mind, are you a slut?

299
00:17:25,298 --> 00:17:27,339
Let's just all finish our dinners.

300
00:17:27,464 --> 00:17:29,191
This is an interesting topic.

301
00:17:29,526 --> 00:17:31,735
How many sexual encounters
have you had?

302
00:17:32,117 --> 00:17:35,332
Does volunteering for a experiment
in which orgasm was achieved

303
00:17:35,457 --> 00:17:38,450
by electronically stimulating
the pleasure centers of the brain count?

304
00:17:40,245 --> 00:17:41,954
I should think so.

305
00:17:42,435 --> 00:17:44,080
Then 128.

306
00:17:53,338 --> 00:17:54,338
Come on.

307
00:17:55,484 --> 00:17:56,634
Almost there.

308
00:18:02,954 --> 00:18:04,351
Don't tug. No tugging.

309
00:18:04,519 --> 00:18:06,228
Next time, take your own advice.

310
00:18:08,398 --> 00:18:10,091
Excuse me, could you help us out?

311
00:18:11,995 --> 00:18:13,401
What do we have here?

312
00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:18,365
- I slipped and fell.
- We get that a lot.

313
00:18:19,741 --> 00:18:21,202
What is this?

314
00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:23,370
It's a robot arm.

315
00:18:24,145 --> 00:18:25,915
Where's the rest of the robot?

316
00:18:26,497 --> 00:18:28,083
I only built the arm.

317
00:18:28,333 --> 00:18:30,187
'Cause that's all you needed, right?

318
00:18:32,796 --> 00:18:34,715
Can you please just help me?!

319
00:18:35,263 --> 00:18:37,799
All right.
Hang on, stay calm.

320
00:18:39,981 --> 00:18:43,890
<i>I need an orderly with a wheelchair.
Robot hand grasping a man's penis here.</i>

321
00:18:46,978 --> 00:18:48,836
You could be a little more discreet?

322
00:18:49,188 --> 00:18:52,691
I'm sorry, we don't have a code for
"robot hand grasping a man's penis."

323
00:18:54,289 --> 00:18:57,112
- Why is it hooked up to a computer?
- It's what controls the arm.

324
00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:58,154
It's frozen.

325
00:18:58,430 --> 00:19:00,991
Did you try turning it off
and back on again?

326
00:19:01,877 --> 00:19:03,827
You see,
it's more complicated than that.

327
00:19:03,995 --> 00:19:04,995
No, wait!

328
00:19:12,378 --> 00:19:14,978
Winnie the Pooh
is out of the honey tree.

329
00:19:17,485 --> 00:19:19,615
Now can we have cookies
and Hawaiian Punch?

330
00:19:26,524 --> 00:19:27,791
You were right.

331
00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:30,469
This was a very productive evening.

332
00:19:30,594 --> 00:19:33,864
I saw a whole new side
of Amy Farrah Fowler tonight.

333
00:19:34,667 --> 00:19:36,880
I did not have sex with 31 guys.

334
00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:41,888
I'll be happy to check the math,
but numbers don't lie, Penny.

335
00:19:43,741 --> 00:19:48,057
In any event. Now that Amy and I
have spent quality time together,

336
00:19:48,182 --> 00:19:52,083
I feel much more confident
proceeding to the next stage.

337
00:19:52,208 --> 00:19:53,241
And that is?

338
00:19:53,366 --> 00:19:55,111
Using in vitro fertilization

339
00:19:55,236 --> 00:19:58,716
and a surrogate uterus
to gift humanity with our progeny.

340
00:20:00,237 --> 00:20:01,787
You're still on that?

341
00:20:02,053 --> 00:20:06,401
In these uncertain times,
doesn't humanity deserve a gift?

342
00:20:08,401 --> 00:20:11,627
You know what?
I'm gonna come at this in a new way.

343
00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:14,696
If you try to make a baby with Amy
in a petri dish,

344
00:20:14,905 --> 00:20:16,523
I'm gonna tell your mother on you.

345
00:20:17,482 --> 00:20:18,851
That's no threat.

346
00:20:18,976 --> 00:20:21,728
- Mother's always wanted a grandchild.
- Really?

347
00:20:21,954 --> 00:20:24,078
Your deeply religious
born-again Christian mother

348
00:20:24,203 --> 00:20:26,332
wants a test-tube grandbaby
born out of wedlock?

349
00:20:30,654 --> 00:20:31,654
Curses.

350
00:20:32,829 --> 00:20:36,260
If I'd thought of that in the 1st place,
I could've saved this whole night.

351
00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:40,139
Well, it's not that late.
You could still look for number 32.

352
00:20:45,129 --> 00:20:46,179
Good night.

353
00:20:47,355 --> 00:20:48,755
Howard, what's up?

354
00:20:49,470 --> 00:20:51,408
I've decided not to procreate.

355
00:20:51,749 --> 00:20:52,749
Great.

356
00:20:54,474 --> 00:20:57,156
Howard, slow down.
What do you mean it happened again?