1
00:00:01,742 --> 00:00:03,442
Hey. So you guys ready
to order?
2
00:00:03,443 --> 00:00:06,846
Since we come in
every Tuesday night at 6:00
3
00:00:06,847 --> 00:00:10,616
and order the same exact thing,
and it's now 6:08,
4
00:00:10,617 --> 00:00:13,019
I believe your question
not only answers itself
5
00:00:13,020 --> 00:00:16,122
but also stands alongside
such other nonsensical queries
6
00:00:16,123 --> 00:00:21,160
as "Who let the dogs out?"
and, uh, "How are they hanging?"
7
00:00:21,161 --> 00:00:23,462
Okay.
8
00:00:23,463 --> 00:00:26,165
So, the usual, with extra spit
on Sheldon's hamburger.
9
00:00:26,166 --> 00:00:28,868
Penny, a moment?
10
00:00:28,869 --> 00:00:30,403
Do you have plans
this weekend?
11
00:00:30,404 --> 00:00:31,604
Oh, gee, Amy, I'm sorry,
12
00:00:31,605 --> 00:00:32,905
I'm actually pretty busy
this weekend.
13
00:00:32,906 --> 00:00:35,675
Probably serving food
that was ordered today.
14
00:00:36,710 --> 00:00:39,011
That's too bad. I was hoping
you could be my plus-one
15
00:00:39,012 --> 00:00:41,180
at the Institute
of Interdisciplinary Studies'
16
00:00:41,181 --> 00:00:43,215
symposium on the impact
of current scientific research
17
00:00:43,216 --> 00:00:44,550
on societal interactions.
18
00:00:44,551 --> 00:00:47,553
The what?
19
00:00:49,056 --> 00:00:50,656
It's an annual
science conference.
20
00:00:50,657 --> 00:00:52,024
We've all been invited to speak.
21
00:00:52,025 --> 00:00:55,261
Oh! Oh, okay, well, you know,
like I said, I have plans, so...
22
00:00:55,262 --> 00:00:57,063
Shame. Since you're
my best friend,
23
00:00:57,064 --> 00:00:59,131
I thought it would be
a good bonding opportunity.
24
00:00:59,132 --> 00:01:01,901
I'm your best friend?
25
00:01:01,902 --> 00:01:03,636
Don't you read my blog?
26
00:01:03,637 --> 00:01:05,404
Oh, don't feel bad.
27
00:01:05,405 --> 00:01:08,007
I never read Leonard's, and
I used to sleep with him.
28
00:01:11,278 --> 00:01:13,179
Do you know anybody else
who would appreciate
29
00:01:13,180 --> 00:01:14,613
an all-expense-paid spa weekend
30
00:01:14,614 --> 00:01:16,082
at a four-star resort
in Big Sur?
31
00:01:16,083 --> 00:01:18,985
No, I really-- I'm sorry,
free what? Sorry, what, what?
32
00:01:18,986 --> 00:01:21,053
I think her weekend
just opened up.
33
00:01:21,054 --> 00:01:24,256
Wait, wait, just to be clear,
when you guys say "spa,"
34
00:01:24,257 --> 00:01:27,493
does that mean the same thing
as when regular people say it?
35
00:01:27,494 --> 00:01:28,761
Pretty much.
36
00:01:28,762 --> 00:01:31,497
Except we keep
our shirts on in the sauna.
37
00:01:31,498 --> 00:01:33,933
You know, it is going
to be difficult,
38
00:01:33,934 --> 00:01:37,069
but I'm going to cancel my plans
so I can do this for my bestie.
39
00:01:37,070 --> 00:01:38,904
Please don't touch my breasts.
40
00:01:39,906 --> 00:01:41,474
I... I wasn't going to.
41
00:01:41,475 --> 00:01:44,176
All right. I just want
to establish boundaries.
42
00:01:44,177 --> 00:01:46,879
Boy, this is great. I haven't
had a vacation in ages.
43
00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:50,249
In order to take a vacation,
one first has to work.
44
00:01:50,250 --> 00:01:52,184
You know, for a smart guy,
45
00:01:52,185 --> 00:01:54,387
you really seem to have a
hard time grasping the concept
46
00:01:54,388 --> 00:01:57,723
"don't piss off the people
who handle the things you eat."
47
00:01:57,724 --> 00:02:00,860
That does seem to be
a valid principle.
48
00:02:00,861 --> 00:02:03,095
I trust Penny will adhere to
49
00:02:03,096 --> 00:02:04,897
the "Official California
Restaurant Workers'
50
00:02:04,898 --> 00:02:07,233
Solemn Oath of Ethics
and Cleanliness."
51
00:02:07,234 --> 00:02:09,635
I don't believe
there's any such thing.
52
00:02:10,570 --> 00:02:13,406
You lied to me?
53
00:02:13,407 --> 00:02:17,043
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
54
00:02:17,044 --> 00:02:20,379
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
55
00:02:20,380 --> 00:02:22,014
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
56
00:02:22,015 --> 00:02:24,550
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
57
00:02:24,551 --> 00:02:27,219
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
58
00:02:27,220 --> 00:02:29,889
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
59
00:02:29,890 --> 00:02:31,791
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
60
00:02:31,792 --> 00:02:32,554
♪ Bang! ♪
61
00:02:32,556 --> 00:02:35,754
♪ The Big Bang Theory 4x13 ♪
The Love Car Displacement
Original Air Date on January 20, 2011
62
00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:38,601
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==
63
00:02:38,631 --> 00:02:39,598
Good morning.
64
00:02:39,604 --> 00:02:41,438
If I could have everyone's
attention, please?
65
00:02:41,439 --> 00:02:44,842
I know we're all eager
to get on the road to Big Sur,
66
00:02:44,843 --> 00:02:47,411
so if we focus, I'm sure we can
get through this orientation
67
00:02:47,412 --> 00:02:48,912
in under a half an hour.
68
00:02:49,881 --> 00:02:52,349
Then it's just Q&A,
quiz, safety drills,
69
00:02:52,350 --> 00:02:55,519
pose for commemorative
group photo and we're off.
70
00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:58,322
Don't worry. Just sit
next to me during the quiz,
71
00:02:58,323 --> 00:03:00,624
and you can copy my answers.
72
00:03:00,625 --> 00:03:01,825
Raj?
73
00:03:01,826 --> 00:03:03,026
What are you doing?
74
00:03:03,795 --> 00:03:05,529
I don't think so.
75
00:03:06,398 --> 00:03:08,298
You've had your allotted
six ounces.
76
00:03:08,299 --> 00:03:11,435
The first bathroom break
isn't until the Denny's
77
00:03:11,436 --> 00:03:14,271
located near Bakersfield,
78
00:03:14,272 --> 00:03:17,241
which is approximately
two and half hours away.
79
00:03:17,242 --> 00:03:21,178
Remember, people, we're only as
strong as our weakest bladder.
80
00:03:22,580 --> 00:03:26,583
Nobody cares about
your Kegel exercises.
81
00:03:26,584 --> 00:03:30,687
All right. We have
seven people, and two cars.
82
00:03:30,688 --> 00:03:33,991
In the lead car,
driven by Leonard,
83
00:03:33,992 --> 00:03:37,227
will be... myself,
84
00:03:37,228 --> 00:03:39,463
Amy Farrah Fowler,
85
00:03:39,464 --> 00:03:41,398
and Penny.
86
00:03:41,399 --> 00:03:43,100
Yes!
87
00:03:43,101 --> 00:03:47,471
He had you in the other car,
but I got you upgraded.
88
00:03:48,306 --> 00:03:50,140
Yay!
89
00:03:50,141 --> 00:03:52,009
She made the case
that if we break down
90
00:03:52,010 --> 00:03:54,845
in the middle of nowhere,
your Nebraska backwoods skills
91
00:03:54,846 --> 00:03:56,914
and brawny hands
will give us the best chance
92
00:03:56,915 --> 00:03:58,916
to survive in the wild.
93
00:03:58,917 --> 00:04:01,285
Brawny?
94
00:04:01,286 --> 00:04:03,821
They're bigger
than mine.
95
00:04:04,989 --> 00:04:07,825
Red Leader to Red Five,
come in.
96
00:04:09,961 --> 00:04:12,863
Red Leader to Red Five,
come in.
97
00:04:12,864 --> 00:04:15,065
Howard, you promised.
98
00:04:17,035 --> 00:04:18,969
Fine. Red Five to Red Leader.
99
00:04:18,970 --> 00:04:20,537
What do you want now?
100
00:04:20,538 --> 00:04:26,143
It's 11:15. I'm requesting your
quarter-hourly location update.
101
00:04:26,144 --> 00:04:27,811
Still right behind you.
102
00:04:27,812 --> 00:04:30,848
Copy that, Red Five.
103
00:04:30,849 --> 00:04:32,449
Radio contact is sufficient.
104
00:04:32,450 --> 00:04:34,384
No need to extend
your middle finger.
105
00:04:35,987 --> 00:04:38,689
So, Amy, I've
been wondering,
106
00:04:38,690 --> 00:04:41,425
are you and Sheldon going
to be sharing a room?
107
00:04:41,426 --> 00:04:43,327
No, we discussed it.
108
00:04:43,328 --> 00:04:45,429
We decided we didn't want
to jeopardize our relationship
109
00:04:45,430 --> 00:04:47,264
by getting to know
each other too well.
110
00:04:48,366 --> 00:04:50,934
Indeed. Nothing sours
a friendship more
111
00:04:50,935 --> 00:04:54,738
than over-familiarity
with someone's toilet routine.
112
00:04:54,739 --> 00:04:56,440
I can vouch for that.
113
00:04:56,441 --> 00:04:58,775
Hey.
Not you, him.
114
00:04:58,776 --> 00:05:00,210
Oh. Thanks.
115
00:05:00,211 --> 00:05:03,780
Although yours
was an eye-opener.
116
00:05:04,782 --> 00:05:06,650
Don't worry, Penny.
117
00:05:06,651 --> 00:05:08,952
You're my plus-one.
You'll bunk with me.
118
00:05:08,953 --> 00:05:11,288
And FYI, travel
makes me constipated,
119
00:05:11,289 --> 00:05:13,957
so I'm the ideal
hotel roommate.
120
00:05:13,958 --> 00:05:16,326
Terrific.
121
00:05:16,327 --> 00:05:18,762
Are we there yet?
122
00:05:19,931 --> 00:05:23,100
I hope we get there in time
to see the keynote address.
123
00:05:23,101 --> 00:05:25,502
Really? You want to see
the keynote?
124
00:05:25,503 --> 00:05:27,638
Yeah, it sounds fun.
125
00:05:27,639 --> 00:05:29,006
"Super bacteria:
126
00:05:29,007 --> 00:05:32,409
global apocalypse or
exciting research opportunity?"
127
00:05:32,410 --> 00:05:35,946
Actually, I was thinking we
could go straight to the room
128
00:05:35,947 --> 00:05:38,115
and... take a nap.
129
00:05:38,116 --> 00:05:39,483
Really?
130
00:05:39,484 --> 00:05:41,051
And miss the keynote?
131
00:05:41,052 --> 00:05:43,554
We can watch it later on C-SPAN.
132
00:05:43,555 --> 00:05:46,323
Besides, I was really
looking forward to you and me...
133
00:05:46,324 --> 00:05:47,991
napping together in the hotel.
134
00:05:47,992 --> 00:05:49,927
Honey, if you're
that tired,
135
00:05:49,928 --> 00:05:52,429
why don't you just take
a nap here in the car?
136
00:05:52,430 --> 00:05:54,064
No, see, it's not...
137
00:05:54,065 --> 00:05:55,966
Hang on.
It's Leonard.
138
00:05:55,967 --> 00:05:58,001
Hi, Leonard.
139
00:05:58,002 --> 00:06:00,804
Yeah, hi. Listen, I just
got a text from Raj.
140
00:06:00,805 --> 00:06:02,039
He wanted me to tell you
141
00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:04,308
that when Howard says "nap,"
he means "sex."
142
00:06:06,945 --> 00:06:09,012
Thank you, Raj.
143
00:06:10,448 --> 00:06:14,318
Are you... an element
in the actinoid series?
144
00:06:14,319 --> 00:06:15,586
No.
145
00:06:15,587 --> 00:06:16,787
Amy?
146
00:06:16,788 --> 00:06:19,856
Are you usually radioactive
when found in nature?
147
00:06:19,857 --> 00:06:20,991
No.
148
00:06:20,992 --> 00:06:22,593
Are you in the
lanthanoid series?
149
00:06:22,594 --> 00:06:24,528
Amy, it's Penny's turn.
150
00:06:25,897 --> 00:06:27,464
Penny?
151
00:06:27,465 --> 00:06:29,700
Uh, I don't know...
152
00:06:29,701 --> 00:06:31,068
Are you food?
153
00:06:33,705 --> 00:06:35,939
That's not apropos.
154
00:06:35,940 --> 00:06:39,009
We've already established
I'm found in the periodic table.
155
00:06:39,010 --> 00:06:40,711
Well, it's a table, right?
156
00:06:40,712 --> 00:06:43,246
I mean, why can't there
be food on it?
157
00:06:43,247 --> 00:06:46,416
I knew she wasn't
lead car material.
158
00:06:46,417 --> 00:06:49,086
Who elected you
Road Trip God?
159
00:06:49,087 --> 00:06:51,088
Leonard.
160
00:06:51,089 --> 00:06:53,724
It was a late-night vote.
161
00:06:54,726 --> 00:06:56,159
We were all exhausted,
162
00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:58,161
and he was threatening
to filibuster.
163
00:06:58,162 --> 00:07:00,330
It's not technically
"Road Trip God"
164
00:07:00,331 --> 00:07:01,765
it's Travel Supervisor.
165
00:07:01,766 --> 00:07:05,836
Although Road Trip God
does have a certain ring to it.
166
00:07:05,837 --> 00:07:07,504
I don't understand
why you people
167
00:07:07,505 --> 00:07:09,039
just let him bully
you like this.
168
00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:10,407
Someone should
stand up to him.
169
00:07:10,408 --> 00:07:12,376
What's he going to do?
170
00:07:14,212 --> 00:07:17,514
I can't believe you let him
kick me out of the car.
171
00:07:17,515 --> 00:07:20,884
What could we do?
He's the Travel Supervisor.
172
00:07:21,986 --> 00:07:24,121
Don't worry, Penny.
This is a better car anyway.
173
00:07:24,122 --> 00:07:26,089
Yeah. It's the Love Car.
174
00:07:26,958 --> 00:07:28,759
Should I ask?
175
00:07:30,028 --> 00:07:33,096
♪ They say we're young
and we don't know ♪
176
00:07:33,097 --> 00:07:38,135
♪ We won't find out
until we grow ♪
177
00:07:38,136 --> 00:07:41,171
♪ Well, I don't know
if all that's true ♪
178
00:07:41,172 --> 00:07:46,043
♪ 'Cause you got me,
and, baby, I got you ♪
179
00:07:46,044 --> 00:07:48,812
♪ Babe ♪
♪ Mm da-da,
da-da, da-da ♪
180
00:07:48,813 --> 00:07:50,947
♪ I got you, babe ♪
181
00:07:50,948 --> 00:07:52,516
Red Leader, I'm really sorry.
182
00:07:52,517 --> 00:07:54,951
♪ I got you, babe. ♪
183
00:07:56,087 --> 00:08:01,324
♪ I got you, babe... ♪
184
00:08:05,496 --> 00:08:08,098
I missed you.
185
00:08:08,099 --> 00:08:11,935
You know what?
I missed you, too.
186
00:08:11,936 --> 00:08:13,904
Bernadette?
187
00:08:14,405 --> 00:08:16,106
Oh, my God, Glenn!
188
00:08:16,107 --> 00:08:17,708
Great to see you!
189
00:08:17,709 --> 00:08:19,676
Are you here
for the conference?
190
00:08:19,677 --> 00:08:21,611
Yeah, I'm doing
a global warming panel.
191
00:08:21,612 --> 00:08:22,679
Oh, good for you.
192
00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:25,115
Uh, Glenn,
this is my boyfriend Howard.
193
00:08:25,116 --> 00:08:27,617
Nice to meet you.
Hi.
194
00:08:27,618 --> 00:08:29,219
Ow. Hi.
195
00:08:29,220 --> 00:08:31,021
You're a lucky man.
196
00:08:31,022 --> 00:08:32,756
Bernie's
a great gal.
197
00:08:32,757 --> 00:08:36,126
Yes. "Bernie" sure is.
198
00:08:36,127 --> 00:08:38,295
Well, I got to run.
The panel's tomorrow morning.
199
00:08:38,296 --> 00:08:40,764
It's called, "Remembering Snow:
A Look Back."
200
00:08:40,765 --> 00:08:43,467
I'll try to catch it.
201
00:08:43,468 --> 00:08:44,868
Oh, great.
202
00:08:44,869 --> 00:08:46,436
Bye.
Bye.
203
00:08:49,307 --> 00:08:51,608
Hey... Bernie?
204
00:08:51,609 --> 00:08:52,776
Yeah?
205
00:08:52,777 --> 00:08:56,179
Please tell me he's
your gay cousin.
206
00:08:56,180 --> 00:08:58,982
No.
207
00:08:58,983 --> 00:09:00,984
He was one of my professors
in college.
208
00:09:00,985 --> 00:09:03,787
Oh! That's a relief.
209
00:09:03,788 --> 00:09:05,355
Then we went out
for a year.
210
00:09:06,624 --> 00:09:09,526
Come on, let's check in,
so we can take that nap.
211
00:09:12,930 --> 00:09:15,198
No, it's not necessarily
proportional...
212
00:09:15,199 --> 00:09:16,466
Shut up!
213
00:09:23,122 --> 00:09:24,931
That green bag
is Dr. Cooper's.
214
00:09:25,061 --> 00:09:26,928
Here's an extra five.
Make him wait.
215
00:09:30,833 --> 00:09:32,567
Oh.
216
00:09:32,568 --> 00:09:35,203
Right to the nap, huh? Okay?
217
00:09:36,005 --> 00:09:38,340
Uh, so, this Glenn guy.
218
00:09:38,341 --> 00:09:41,109
You say you went out with
him for, like, a year.
219
00:09:41,110 --> 00:09:43,145
Do we really need to talk
about my old boyfriend now?
220
00:09:43,146 --> 00:09:45,480
No. I guess not.
221
00:09:47,250 --> 00:09:49,985
What is he, like,
six-four, six-five?
222
00:09:49,986 --> 00:09:51,753
Six-seven.
223
00:09:51,754 --> 00:09:55,957
Probably has a hard time
finding a suit that fits.
224
00:09:56,793 --> 00:09:58,460
Is something
bothering you?
225
00:09:58,461 --> 00:10:00,796
No. It's just...
What?
226
00:10:00,797 --> 00:10:02,097
I'm just thinking.
227
00:10:02,098 --> 00:10:03,632
If you had sex with that guy,
228
00:10:03,633 --> 00:10:05,567
I mean, there's nothing
I can do here
229
00:10:05,568 --> 00:10:10,705
that will make
any kind of... impact.
230
00:10:10,706 --> 00:10:12,374
Howard, it's not a contest.
231
00:10:12,375 --> 00:10:14,242
I love you.
I want to be with you.
232
00:10:14,243 --> 00:10:16,878
Yeah, great, love you, too,
but...
233
00:10:16,879 --> 00:10:20,282
If it were a contest,
234
00:10:20,283 --> 00:10:22,784
I wouldn't have a chance, right?
235
00:10:22,785 --> 00:10:24,019
You can't think
that way.
236
00:10:24,020 --> 00:10:25,220
Yep.
237
00:10:25,221 --> 00:10:27,422
Loser.
238
00:10:29,425 --> 00:10:31,092
Howard, stop it.
239
00:10:31,093 --> 00:10:32,828
Sorry. I just
never figured that
240
00:10:32,829 --> 00:10:35,063
a guy like me going out
with a girl like you
241
00:10:35,064 --> 00:10:37,699
would ever have to compete
with a guy like that.
242
00:10:39,035 --> 00:10:42,037
Wait a minute, "a girl like me"?
What's that mean?
243
00:10:46,809 --> 00:10:48,276
I'm... I...
244
00:10:48,277 --> 00:10:50,145
Are you saying you
don't think I'm hot enough
245
00:10:50,146 --> 00:10:51,746
to go out with a guy like Glenn?
246
00:10:51,747 --> 00:10:54,716
No! No, I'm saying
exactly the opposite.
247
00:10:54,717 --> 00:10:57,619
I'm too hot to go out
with a guy like Glenn?
248
00:10:59,188 --> 00:11:01,556
Yeah, let's go with that.
249
00:11:08,965 --> 00:11:11,199
Still nothing.
250
00:11:12,301 --> 00:11:14,603
Remind me to try again
in an hour.
251
00:11:14,604 --> 00:11:16,805
Will do.
252
00:11:16,806 --> 00:11:20,575
So...
253
00:11:20,576 --> 00:11:22,210
girl talk?
254
00:11:22,211 --> 00:11:24,145
Um, sure.
255
00:11:24,146 --> 00:11:25,847
What do you got in mind?
256
00:11:25,848 --> 00:11:29,384
Do you subscribe to the Freudian
theory of penis envy?
257
00:11:31,187 --> 00:11:33,722
Um, I never really
thought about it.
258
00:11:33,723 --> 00:11:34,990
Why?
259
00:11:34,991 --> 00:11:37,893
Sometimes I think it might be
nice to have one.
260
00:11:37,894 --> 00:11:39,160
Really?
261
00:11:39,161 --> 00:11:41,730
Not for sex, for convenience.
262
00:11:41,731 --> 00:11:44,232
You can't deny that,
by comparison,
263
00:11:44,233 --> 00:11:46,868
our internal plumbing
is extremely high maintenance.
264
00:11:46,869 --> 00:11:50,972
Again, I've never given
it much thought.
265
00:11:50,973 --> 00:11:52,741
We have time now.
266
00:11:52,742 --> 00:11:53,975
Think about it.
267
00:11:55,778 --> 00:11:57,612
Oh, good.
268
00:12:01,484 --> 00:12:02,651
Hey.
269
00:12:02,652 --> 00:12:03,785
Can I stay here tonight?
270
00:12:03,786 --> 00:12:04,753
Yeah. Why, what happened?
271
00:12:04,754 --> 00:12:07,422
Howard's a complete
and total ass.
272
00:12:07,423 --> 00:12:09,257
Oh, yeah, that.
Come on in.
273
00:12:10,927 --> 00:12:12,827
Thanks. I'll sleep
on the floor.
274
00:12:12,828 --> 00:12:14,195
Not necessary.
275
00:12:14,196 --> 00:12:16,564
Penny and I are perfectly
comfortable sharing a bed.
276
00:12:16,565 --> 00:12:18,667
We are?
277
00:12:18,668 --> 00:12:21,202
Of course, we're best friends.
278
00:12:21,203 --> 00:12:24,372
Oh, right, right, the blog.
279
00:12:24,373 --> 00:12:25,473
Word of warning, though.
280
00:12:25,474 --> 00:12:26,841
I'm prone to night terrors,
281
00:12:26,842 --> 00:12:29,144
so when I wake up kicking
and screaming, don't panic.
282
00:12:29,145 --> 00:12:32,147
Just pin me down and stroke
my hair, and I'll be fine.
283
00:12:38,421 --> 00:12:40,288
Hey, can I stay here tonight?
Shh-shh-shh.
284
00:12:40,289 --> 00:12:42,223
Sheldon's asleep.
285
00:12:42,224 --> 00:12:43,391
What's going on?
286
00:12:43,392 --> 00:12:45,327
Well, Howard's a complete
and total ass,
287
00:12:45,328 --> 00:12:46,761
Bernadette's in my bed,
288
00:12:46,762 --> 00:12:50,265
and no matter how much you
stroke Amy's hair, she bites.
289
00:12:50,266 --> 00:12:51,666
What?
Never mind.
290
00:12:51,667 --> 00:12:53,168
Can I stay here or not?
291
00:12:53,169 --> 00:12:54,636
Uh, sure.
All right.
292
00:13:00,309 --> 00:13:02,310
So, how do you want
to do this?
293
00:13:02,311 --> 00:13:04,879
Well, I'm not getting
in bed with him.
294
00:13:06,048 --> 00:13:07,782
Yeah, it is
a little like
295
00:13:07,783 --> 00:13:09,084
getting into
Dracula's coffin.
296
00:13:09,085 --> 00:13:12,954
We're just gonna have
to make the best of this.
297
00:13:13,923 --> 00:13:16,124
Okay, when you say
"make the best of it..."
298
00:13:16,125 --> 00:13:17,759
Sleep.
Right.
299
00:13:18,761 --> 00:13:22,230
So we'll just call
the middle here
300
00:13:22,231 --> 00:13:23,498
the Neutral Zone.
301
00:13:23,499 --> 00:13:25,166
The what?
302
00:13:25,167 --> 00:13:27,635
Star Trek.
303
00:13:27,636 --> 00:13:29,104
You know, the
Neutral Zone
304
00:13:29,105 --> 00:13:31,406
between the Federation
and the Romulan Empire.
305
00:13:31,407 --> 00:13:33,041
Oh, okay.
306
00:13:33,042 --> 00:13:35,977
Just like old times.
307
00:13:40,616 --> 00:13:42,417
Of course,
308
00:13:42,418 --> 00:13:45,587
sometimes the Federation
and the Romulans
309
00:13:45,588 --> 00:13:47,455
would enter
the Neutral Zone
310
00:13:47,456 --> 00:13:49,591
to negotiate a
temporary truce.
311
00:13:49,592 --> 00:13:53,528
Sweetie, let me put this
in a way you'll understand:
312
00:13:53,529 --> 00:13:56,431
from the waist down,
my shields are up.
313
00:13:57,266 --> 00:13:59,234
Got it, got it.
314
00:14:02,371 --> 00:14:04,406
We can do all
kinds of stuff
315
00:14:04,407 --> 00:14:06,975
from the waist up,
you know?
316
00:14:06,976 --> 00:14:08,810
Go to sleep.
Good night.
317
00:14:14,817 --> 00:14:18,119
Please tell me
you're not having coitus.
318
00:14:20,456 --> 00:14:22,991
We are not having coitus.
319
00:14:22,992 --> 00:14:24,626
Can you guarantee
that it won't happen
320
00:14:24,627 --> 00:14:25,827
at any time during the night?
321
00:14:25,828 --> 00:14:28,163
Yes.
No.
322
00:14:39,075 --> 00:14:43,845
Next on Turner Classic Movies,
Bridget Jones's Diary.
323
00:14:43,846 --> 00:14:47,682
Oh, my God, I'm crying already.
324
00:14:48,984 --> 00:14:51,619
Raj? Raj?
325
00:14:51,620 --> 00:14:53,121
Raj?
326
00:14:57,393 --> 00:14:59,360
I need to sleep
here tonight.
327
00:14:59,361 --> 00:15:00,728
Why?
328
00:15:00,729 --> 00:15:02,697
Howard is a complete
and total ass,
329
00:15:02,698 --> 00:15:04,999
Bernadette is in Penny's
bed, Amy bites,
330
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:08,436
and Penny may or may not
have coitus with Leonard.
331
00:15:08,437 --> 00:15:10,872
Okay. Come on in.
332
00:15:15,211 --> 00:15:16,678
Leonard, are you asleep?
333
00:15:16,679 --> 00:15:17,946
No.
334
00:15:17,947 --> 00:15:20,682
I really appreciate you letting
me stay here tonight.
335
00:15:20,683 --> 00:15:21,983
Sure, no problem.
336
00:15:21,984 --> 00:15:23,785
I know it's kinda weird.
337
00:15:23,786 --> 00:15:25,587
True dat.
338
00:15:25,588 --> 00:15:28,156
"True dat"?
339
00:15:28,157 --> 00:15:31,626
I've gotten a lot more street
since we broke up.
340
00:15:34,263 --> 00:15:36,431
Right.
341
00:15:36,432 --> 00:15:38,333
Still mad at me about that?
342
00:15:38,334 --> 00:15:40,568
No. No, I understand.
343
00:15:40,569 --> 00:15:44,005
I got too intense,
you had to back off.
344
00:15:44,006 --> 00:15:46,608
Thank you.
345
00:15:46,609 --> 00:15:49,644
I've gotten a lot better
at that, you know.
346
00:15:50,946 --> 00:15:53,214
I've dated four different women
since we broke up
347
00:15:53,215 --> 00:15:55,717
and I didn't tell any of them
that I loved them
348
00:15:55,718 --> 00:15:57,485
and wanted
to have their babies.
349
00:15:57,486 --> 00:16:00,321
Good for you.
350
00:16:02,224 --> 00:16:03,224
Okay, good night.
351
00:16:03,225 --> 00:16:05,560
Good night.
352
00:16:07,163 --> 00:16:12,233
You know, maybe it wouldn't be
the worst idea in the world
353
00:16:12,234 --> 00:16:15,570
to violate the Neutral Zone
for just one night.
354
00:16:15,571 --> 00:16:17,105
Oh!
355
00:16:18,941 --> 00:16:20,708
Hey, Leonard,
Sheldon kicked me
356
00:16:20,709 --> 00:16:22,944
out of the room,
gave me your key.
357
00:16:23,879 --> 00:16:25,346
Penny's here.
358
00:16:29,185 --> 00:16:34,055
No, we don't want to watch
Bridget Jones's Diary!
359
00:16:39,195 --> 00:16:43,498
Good morning and welcome
to Science and Society.
360
00:16:43,499 --> 00:16:50,238
I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper, BS, MS,
MA, PhD, and ScD.
361
00:16:50,239 --> 00:16:52,640
OMG, right?
362
00:16:55,611 --> 00:16:59,280
Perhaps that joke was a little
too hippie-dippy for this crowd.
363
00:16:59,281 --> 00:17:01,549
All right then, we'll begin
with opening remarks.
364
00:17:01,550 --> 00:17:04,686
Miss Rostenkowski,
would you like to start us off
365
00:17:04,687 --> 00:17:06,154
by discussing
your assessment
366
00:17:06,155 --> 00:17:09,290
of science's responsibility
to society?
367
00:17:09,291 --> 00:17:10,525
Sure.
368
00:17:10,526 --> 00:17:12,560
I think all branches
of science
369
00:17:12,561 --> 00:17:14,862
have to move cautiously
these days.
370
00:17:14,863 --> 00:17:16,965
It's not just giant
nuclear weapons
371
00:17:16,966 --> 00:17:18,499
that can destroy
the world.
372
00:17:18,500 --> 00:17:20,568
As a microbiologist,
I can tell you
373
00:17:20,569 --> 00:17:25,273
even the tiniest organisms
can still tear you a new one.
374
00:17:28,077 --> 00:17:29,444
Interesting.
375
00:17:29,445 --> 00:17:32,547
I think what you might need
to know about my colleague
376
00:17:32,548 --> 00:17:36,584
is that though she claims
her field of interest is tiny organisms,
377
00:17:36,585 --> 00:17:40,355
she certainly has spent
her fair share of time
378
00:17:40,356 --> 00:17:45,360
around what we can assume was
pretty massive weaponry.
379
00:17:46,695 --> 00:17:50,064
I think Mr. Wolowitz
needs to keep in mind
380
00:17:50,065 --> 00:17:52,000
that the past
is the past.
381
00:17:52,001 --> 00:17:54,535
But he should know
that I am the kind of girl
382
00:17:54,536 --> 00:17:57,939
who could get all
the giant missiles she wants.
383
00:18:00,776 --> 00:18:03,378
Are we talking about women
wanting penises?
384
00:18:03,379 --> 00:18:05,346
Because I'd like to weigh in.
385
00:18:12,421 --> 00:18:15,323
Dr. Koothrappali, would you care
to join the conversation?
386
00:18:15,324 --> 00:18:18,293
Certainly.
I'd like to raise two points.
387
00:18:18,294 --> 00:18:22,397
Number one, I think they are
talking about penises.
388
00:18:24,133 --> 00:18:28,703
And number two, these mimosas
are kicking my little brown ass.
389
00:18:31,307 --> 00:18:33,775
I'd like to kick
your little brown ass.
390
00:18:33,776 --> 00:18:35,209
What did I do?
391
00:18:35,210 --> 00:18:36,644
Oh, I don't know.
392
00:18:36,645 --> 00:18:38,246
Maybe when you walk
into a hotel room
393
00:18:38,247 --> 00:18:41,115
and you see a guy getting back
together with his girlfriend,
394
00:18:41,116 --> 00:18:43,451
you should consider doing
something other
395
00:18:43,452 --> 00:18:45,920
than crawling into
the adjoining bed.
396
00:18:45,921 --> 00:18:48,956
I did. You said no
Bridget Jones.
397
00:18:48,957 --> 00:18:51,693
We weren't getting
back together!
398
00:18:51,694 --> 00:18:54,429
It was a one-time thing!
399
00:18:54,430 --> 00:18:55,697
Excuse me.
400
00:18:55,698 --> 00:18:57,665
We're not taking comments
or questions
401
00:18:57,666 --> 00:18:59,334
from the audience just yet.
402
00:18:59,335 --> 00:19:01,836
Oh, shut up, Sheldon!
403
00:19:01,837 --> 00:19:04,038
Hi, bestie.
404
00:19:04,039 --> 00:19:05,306
All right,
405
00:19:05,307 --> 00:19:08,042
why don't we see if we can bring
this back to topic.
406
00:19:08,043 --> 00:19:09,777
Let me ask you
something, Bernie.
407
00:19:09,778 --> 00:19:11,179
I guess not.
408
00:19:11,180 --> 00:19:14,048
How would you feel if
you met my ex-girlfriend
409
00:19:14,049 --> 00:19:16,784
and she was like
Angelina Jolie?
410
00:19:16,785 --> 00:19:20,154
Oh, come on, Howard,
be realistic.
411
00:19:21,490 --> 00:19:27,028
What, I'm not hot enough
for Angelina Jolie?
412
00:19:27,029 --> 00:19:29,230
I'd like to weigh in here.
413
00:19:29,231 --> 00:19:30,765
No.
414
00:19:33,535 --> 00:19:35,036
All right,
why don't we open it up
415
00:19:35,037 --> 00:19:36,237
to Q&A from the audience?
416
00:19:36,238 --> 00:19:37,638
Yeah, I have a question.
417
00:19:37,639 --> 00:19:39,140
Is there anybody who can get me
the hell out of here
418
00:19:39,141 --> 00:19:42,310
and back to Los Angeles
tonight?
419
00:19:42,311 --> 00:19:45,113
I'm driving back to L.A. tonight.
420
00:19:47,149 --> 00:19:49,684
Penny, that's Glenn.
Glenn, that's Penny.
421
00:19:49,685 --> 00:19:51,552
No!
422
00:20:01,029 --> 00:20:03,630
Red Leader to Red Five.
423
00:20:03,631 --> 00:20:06,633
Red Leader
to Red Five.
424
00:20:06,634 --> 00:20:09,736
Anybody up for a little game?
425
00:20:10,504 --> 00:20:14,006
I spy with my little eye...
426
00:20:14,099 --> 00:20:17,168
a nonferrous metal.
427
00:20:21,207 --> 00:20:24,209
Must be out of range.
428
00:20:25,511 --> 00:20:27,512
Leonard, can I ask you
a question?
429
00:20:27,513 --> 00:20:28,913
Sure.
430
00:20:28,914 --> 00:20:31,216
Are you bothered by the fact
that your former girlfriend
431
00:20:31,217 --> 00:20:32,917
left the symposium
with what is probably
432
00:20:32,918 --> 00:20:36,955
the most beautiful man
I've ever seen in my life?
433
00:20:36,956 --> 00:20:39,023
No. Why do you ask?
434
00:20:39,024 --> 00:20:42,360
Because we're going
120 miles per hour.
435
00:20:43,963 --> 00:20:45,897
All right, if no one's going
to guess...
436
00:20:45,898 --> 00:20:50,001
I was spying the aluminum rims
on the police car
437
00:20:50,002 --> 00:20:51,669
we passed a few miles back.
438
00:20:51,670 --> 00:20:55,240
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==