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Good evening.
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I'm your guest lecturer,
Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
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I was expecting applause,
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but I suppose stunned silence
is equally appropriate.
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I agreed to speak
to you this evening,
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because I was told that you're
the best and the brightest
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of this university's
doctoral candidates.
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Hmm. Of course,
that's like saying
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you are the most important
electron in a hydrogen atom.
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'Cause, you see,
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there's only one electron
in a hydrogen atom.
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Best and brightest,
my sweet patootie.
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All right, let's begin.
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Show of hands,
who here is familiar
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with the concept
of topological insulators?
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Don't kid yourselves.
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I found another tweet from a
student at Sheldon's lecture.
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"Dr. Cooper has taken
a relatively boring subject
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"and managed to make it
completely insufferable.
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Plus, he looks
like a giant insect."
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Look. Listen to this one.
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"Does Einstein's theory
explain why time flies
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"when you're having fun,
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"but when you're listening
to Dr. Cooper,
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it falls out of the sky, dead?"
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Ooh, somebody took pictures
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and uploaded them
to their Flickr account.
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Wow.
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How do you get an
entire lecture hall
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to flip you off
at the same time?
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Apparently, if you're Sheldon,
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all you need
to do is turn your back.
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Hey, Leonard,
is your wi-fi down?
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I can't get on.
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Oh, Sheldon changed
the password.
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It's now
"Penny is a freeloader."
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No spaces.
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Thanks.
What are you guys doing?
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Sheldon gave a lecture
at the university tonight.
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We're reading
the reviews.
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Oh. How'd he do?
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Well, picture the Hindenburg
meets Chernobyl
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meets Three Mile Island
meets Tron 2.
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That bad, huh?
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Read this woman's tweet.
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"Listening to Dr. Cooper
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has made me want to start
cutting myself again""
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Yeah.
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Good evening,
Leonard, Howard, Raj,
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freeloader.
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So, how'd the lecture go?
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In a word, triumphant.
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Really? Triumphant?
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Oh, yes, you should have
seen those young people.
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Thirsty for knowledge,
drinking in my wisdom.
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I may have changed
a few lives today.
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Oh, please let
me tell him.
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I don't know,
I kind of promised Howard.
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Tell me what?
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Actually, we should
all share the moment.
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Raj, if you would.
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Oh, tweets about my lecture.
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Hmm...
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That's rather unfair.
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That's downright cruel.
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Plus, insects
have six legs.
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Yeah, I'm not familiar
with the acronym "KMN""
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From the context, we think
it means "kill me now."
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Well, I suppose everyone's
entitled to their own opinion.
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I think I'll turn in.
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I didn't want to teach
those poopy heads, anyway.
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FYI, I think that's
what Darth Vader said
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just before he started
building the Death Star.
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♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
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00:03:33,251 --> 00:03:36,587
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
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♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
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♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
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♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
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♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
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♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
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♪ Bang! ♪
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♪ The Big Bang Theory 4x14 ♪
The Thespian Catalyst
Original Air Date on February 3, 2011
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== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==
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Sheldon still moping?
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00:03:56,130 --> 00:03:57,397
Yeah, it's weird.
Even though he didn't want
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to give the lecture
in the first place,
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being rejected by those students
really hit him hard.
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I know the feeling.
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00:04:02,586 --> 00:04:04,471
It's like accidentally
walking into a gay bar
90
00:04:04,472 --> 00:04:06,072
and then having
no one hit on you.
91
00:04:12,913 --> 00:04:17,684
It-It happened
to a friend of mine.
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00:04:17,685 --> 00:04:19,852
Are you guys doing okay?
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00:04:19,853 --> 00:04:21,254
Leonard and I are fine,
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00:04:21,255 --> 00:04:24,090
but I think Raj needs
to meet a girl really soon.
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00:04:24,992 --> 00:04:26,159
Well, that shouldn't
be too hard.
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00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:27,260
He's such a cutie.
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Thank you,
but "cute" is for bunnies.
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I want to be something
with sex appeal,
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00:04:31,332 --> 00:04:34,501
like...
like a labradoodle.
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Labradoodle?
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We might be starting
to zero in on your problem.
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Don't you listen to them.
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You've got plenty
of sex appeal.
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You really think so?
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Yeah. You're a hottie.
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Well, thanks, Bernadette.
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And just for the record,
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labradoodles are
hypo-allergenic,
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which is a very sexy quality to
those troubled by animal dander.
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So, what do you think?
111
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It's a charming illusion,
but it does not cheer me up.
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Not even when I do this?
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No.
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Well, that was the last arrow
in my quiver of whimsy.
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Do you realize that teaching
is the first thing
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I've failed at
since my ill-fated attempt
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to complete a chin-up
in March of 1989?
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If this humiliating experience
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is really troubling you,
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there are things
we could do about it.
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For instance?
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Well, the first thing
that comes to mind
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is isolating the part
of your brain
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where the memory is stored
and destroying it with a laser.
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Hmm, no.
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One slip of the hand,
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and suddenly I'm sitting
in the Engineering Department,
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building doodads with Wolowitz.
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All right.
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Have you considered improving
your socialization skills,
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thus allowing you
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to communicate more
effectively with other people?
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Isn't that their burden?
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I'm the one with something
interesting to say.
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Fair enough, but in its essence,
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teaching is a performance art.
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In the classroom paradigm,
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the teacher has the
responsibility to communicate,
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as well as entertain and engage.
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I sense that you're trying
to slow-walk me to an epiphany.
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Would you mind very much
jumping to it?
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Perhaps you should consider
taking acting lessons.
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Acting lessons.
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Interesting.
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It might help
if I could act as though I care
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about my students
and whether or not they learn.
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Penny.
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Penny. Penny.
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What?
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You're an "actress," correct?
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I'm not an "actress."
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I'm an actress.
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All right.
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You're an actress.
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I need you to teach me.
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You want an acting lesson?
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Perhaps two. I'd like
to master the craft.
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Okay, where
is this coming from?
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00:07:04,151 --> 00:07:08,021
It has been suggested to
me that acting techniques
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could improve my
lecturing, at which,
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if certain tweets and
blogs are to be believed,
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I "suck the big one."
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Yeah, I saw those.
They were funny.
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I printed a few out
and put 'em on my fridge.
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So, when could we start?
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Okay, just to be clear.
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You are asking me for help
because I know something
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that the brilliant
Dr. Sheldon Cooper doesn't.
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I suppose that's one
way to look at it.
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I think it's the only
way to look at it.
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Are you going to
help me or not?
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Probably. I'm just
enjoying the foreplay.
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Does this mean you are done
mocking my acting career?
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Oh, I'm sorry, I thought
making the transition
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from actor to acting teacher
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was the signal
that one's career
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had reached the
end of the road.
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Forget it.
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I'll pay you $40.
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Saturday, 9:00 a.m.
Bring cash.
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Raj, I have amazing news!
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What?
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00:08:03,944 --> 00:08:05,295
I just got offered
a fellowship
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00:08:05,296 --> 00:08:07,280
at the Weitzmann
Institute in Israel.
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Dude, that's incredible!
I know.
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The only thing is, I'm
gonna be gone for two years.
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Aw, I'm gonna miss you.
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Are you going with him?
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I have to stay
here for school.
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That's what we're here
to talk to you about.
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You see,
Bernadette has needs.
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00:08:23,297 --> 00:08:25,932
What kind of needs?
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Sexual needs.
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Most of them regular,
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00:08:30,804 --> 00:08:34,307
some of them
kind of messed up.
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So, while I'm gone,
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you're going
to have to satisfy her.
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What do you say?
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I say okey-dokey.
200
00:08:51,825 --> 00:08:54,627
What ya thinking
so hard about?
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00:08:54,628 --> 00:08:58,765
Just that
I'm definitely not gay.
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00:09:06,072 --> 00:09:08,340
Penny!
203
00:09:08,341 --> 00:09:11,109
Penny! Penny!
204
00:09:11,110 --> 00:09:12,010
What's wrong?
205
00:09:12,011 --> 00:09:14,512
Nothing.
I was acting.
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00:09:16,282 --> 00:09:17,382
You were acting.
207
00:09:17,383 --> 00:09:19,868
Yes. In preparation
for today's studies,
208
00:09:19,869 --> 00:09:22,087
I read Stanislavski's
An Actor Prepares,
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00:09:22,088 --> 00:09:24,255
Stella Adler's
The Technique of Acting,
210
00:09:24,256 --> 00:09:25,824
Uta Hagen's
Respect for Acting,
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00:09:25,825 --> 00:09:29,194
and Henry Winkler's
Ayyy, I'm an Actor.
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00:09:29,195 --> 00:09:31,096
Well, good for you.
213
00:09:31,097 --> 00:09:33,048
Come on in.
214
00:09:33,049 --> 00:09:34,165
How shall we begin?
215
00:09:34,166 --> 00:09:35,867
Well, I thought we'd start
216
00:09:35,868 --> 00:09:38,336
with some
basic movement exercises.
217
00:09:38,337 --> 00:09:40,171
You know, get our bodies
warmed up a little.
218
00:09:40,172 --> 00:09:41,406
All right.
219
00:09:41,407 --> 00:09:42,574
So I just want you to relax
220
00:09:42,575 --> 00:09:44,442
and kind of
move around in the space.
221
00:09:44,443 --> 00:09:47,228
You know,
just do whatever feels natural.
222
00:09:54,687 --> 00:09:55,854
Sheldon?
223
00:09:55,855 --> 00:09:58,556
You said to do whatever
feels natural.
224
00:09:58,557 --> 00:10:00,492
This feels natural.
225
00:10:01,243 --> 00:10:02,527
Certainly more natural
226
00:10:02,528 --> 00:10:04,329
than what you're doing.
227
00:10:04,330 --> 00:10:05,597
Come on,
you got to work with me.
228
00:10:05,598 --> 00:10:07,332
We need to get connected
with our bodies.
229
00:10:07,333 --> 00:10:10,301
Penny, my body and I have
a relationship
230
00:10:10,302 --> 00:10:12,604
that works best
when we maintain a cool,
231
00:10:12,605 --> 00:10:14,706
wary distance from each other.
232
00:10:16,942 --> 00:10:19,344
All right,
let's just say we've warmed up.
233
00:10:19,345 --> 00:10:21,396
You're the "teacher."
234
00:10:23,115 --> 00:10:25,650
Okay. One of the things
that might help you
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00:10:25,651 --> 00:10:26,951
in connecting with your students
236
00:10:26,952 --> 00:10:28,820
is being
a little more spontaneous.
237
00:10:28,821 --> 00:10:30,755
So why don't we
try some improvisation?
238
00:10:30,756 --> 00:10:32,157
Why not?
It seems like
239
00:10:32,158 --> 00:10:34,092
you're improvising
your entire curriculum.
240
00:10:36,612 --> 00:10:39,364
This is all about
listening and responding.
241
00:10:39,365 --> 00:10:40,331
Gotcha.
242
00:10:40,332 --> 00:10:41,566
I'm going to create a character
243
00:10:41,567 --> 00:10:43,284
and a situation, and you
just jump in when you feel it.
244
00:10:43,285 --> 00:10:44,786
All right.
All right.
245
00:10:44,787 --> 00:10:46,838
Action.
246
00:10:48,641 --> 00:10:50,375
Okay, it's not a movie.
247
00:10:50,376 --> 00:10:52,544
It's improv.
So no one calls "action."
248
00:10:52,545 --> 00:10:54,596
Hey, you taught me something.
249
00:10:55,314 --> 00:10:57,082
Who would have thought it?
250
00:10:59,268 --> 00:11:00,518
Okay.
251
00:11:00,519 --> 00:11:02,320
Uh, no, the shipment
has not arrived,
252
00:11:02,321 --> 00:11:03,922
and I really need those shoes.
253
00:11:03,923 --> 00:11:05,140
They are my biggest seller.
254
00:11:05,141 --> 00:11:06,908
Yes, ladies sizes six
through ten.
255
00:11:06,909 --> 00:11:08,293
Thank you.
Oh, sorry.
256
00:11:08,294 --> 00:11:10,729
I have to go.
I have a customer. Bye-bye.
257
00:11:10,730 --> 00:11:11,946
Hi. Can I help you?
258
00:11:11,947 --> 00:11:15,667
I'd like a frozen yogurt,
please.
259
00:11:17,536 --> 00:11:19,571
Yogurt?
260
00:11:19,572 --> 00:11:21,106
Yeah.
Um...
261
00:11:21,107 --> 00:11:22,373
Okay, sure.
262
00:11:22,374 --> 00:11:25,844
Luckily, we sell both shoes
and yogurt here.
263
00:11:25,845 --> 00:11:28,446
You do?
264
00:11:30,249 --> 00:11:31,950
Yes. Look up at the sign,
265
00:11:31,951 --> 00:11:34,786
and remember, improv is always
about saying yes.
266
00:11:34,787 --> 00:11:36,955
All right.
267
00:11:36,956 --> 00:11:39,140
Yes.
268
00:11:40,176 --> 00:11:42,093
I see a sign.
269
00:11:42,094 --> 00:11:45,830
It says "Camarillo State
Mental Hospital."
270
00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:48,600
What?
271
00:11:48,601 --> 00:11:51,202
It's the only explanation
I can come up with
272
00:11:51,203 --> 00:11:54,539
for why you think
you sell shoes and yogurt.
273
00:11:54,540 --> 00:11:55,940
Okay, you know what?
274
00:11:55,941 --> 00:11:57,776
Let's just try
a different improv. Uh..
275
00:11:57,777 --> 00:12:01,045
Oh, this time
we will be two winos
276
00:12:01,046 --> 00:12:02,814
living under a freeway overpass.
277
00:12:02,815 --> 00:12:04,983
Oh, and we're going
to use props?
278
00:12:04,984 --> 00:12:06,985
You bet.
279
00:12:08,921 --> 00:12:10,288
I had dreams,
you know.
280
00:12:10,289 --> 00:12:11,623
I was gonna be famous.
281
00:12:11,624 --> 00:12:14,008
Show everybody back home
I could be someone.
282
00:12:14,009 --> 00:12:15,960
Now look at me.
283
00:12:15,961 --> 00:12:17,962
Want some?
284
00:12:17,963 --> 00:12:20,799
You have any frozen yogurt?
285
00:12:23,986 --> 00:12:26,271
I'm still not adjusted
286
00:12:26,272 --> 00:12:28,940
to how the SyFy channel
spells their name now.
287
00:12:28,941 --> 00:12:32,577
S-y-F-y.
That's "siffy."
288
00:12:32,578 --> 00:12:34,579
Uh-huh.
289
00:12:38,317 --> 00:12:40,451
Hello?
290
00:12:41,954 --> 00:12:43,888
Oh, my God! Is he okay?
291
00:12:43,889 --> 00:12:45,790
What happened?
Hang on. Hang on.
292
00:12:45,791 --> 00:12:47,625
Uh-huh.
293
00:12:47,626 --> 00:12:49,160
Okay, thank you.
294
00:12:49,161 --> 00:12:52,597
Howard was on his scooter,
and got hit by a truck.
295
00:12:52,598 --> 00:12:54,599
He's in critical condition.
296
00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:56,801
Oh, no!
297
00:12:58,604 --> 00:12:59,771
Did you hear?
298
00:12:59,772 --> 00:13:01,689
Isn't it terrible?
299
00:13:01,690 --> 00:13:02,824
Have you seen him?
300
00:13:02,825 --> 00:13:04,108
They wouldn't let me in.
301
00:13:04,109 --> 00:13:07,045
Oh, my Howie.
302
00:13:07,046 --> 00:13:10,615
It'll be okay.
It'll be okay.
303
00:13:10,616 --> 00:13:12,617
It'll be okay.
304
00:13:12,618 --> 00:13:14,619
It'll be
okay.
305
00:13:17,089 --> 00:13:18,489
It's Howard.
306
00:13:20,158 --> 00:13:21,392
Howard, hello.
307
00:13:21,393 --> 00:13:24,963
Raj, is that you?
308
00:13:24,964 --> 00:13:26,831
Yeah, I'm right here,
buddy. How are you?
309
00:13:26,832 --> 00:13:28,366
Shh, shh. Listen to me.
310
00:13:28,367 --> 00:13:29,901
I'm not gonna make it.
311
00:13:29,902 --> 00:13:31,402
No, no, no,
don't say that.
312
00:13:31,403 --> 00:13:33,004
You're going to
be all right.
313
00:13:33,005 --> 00:13:35,306
Raj, I don't have time.
Now, pay attention.
314
00:13:35,307 --> 00:13:40,311
My last wish is that
you look after Bernadette.
315
00:13:40,312 --> 00:13:42,513
Of course, of course.
316
00:13:43,682 --> 00:13:46,818
Now when you say "look
after," you mean...
317
00:13:46,819 --> 00:13:48,753
Sexually.
318
00:13:48,754 --> 00:13:52,123
Excuse me, Bernadette.
I have to hear it from him.
319
00:13:52,124 --> 00:13:54,926
Sexually.
320
00:13:54,927 --> 00:13:56,661
Got it. Take care.
321
00:13:58,196 --> 00:13:59,397
I guess I have no choice
322
00:13:59,398 --> 00:14:01,165
but to make sweet,
guilt-free love to you
323
00:14:01,166 --> 00:14:03,384
over and over again
for the rest of my life.
324
00:14:03,385 --> 00:14:05,503
That's how I heard it.
325
00:14:12,378 --> 00:14:13,611
Or it could be "sy-fee."
326
00:14:13,612 --> 00:14:14,812
What?
327
00:14:14,813 --> 00:14:17,515
S-y-F-y. "Sy-fee."
328
00:14:17,516 --> 00:14:19,117
Oh, right.
329
00:14:19,118 --> 00:14:21,319
Good one.
330
00:14:23,756 --> 00:14:25,890
So, did you get a chance
to go over the scene I gave you?
331
00:14:25,891 --> 00:14:28,076
Yes. I didn't care for it.
332
00:14:29,828 --> 00:14:34,032
Okay, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
is an American classic.
333
00:14:34,033 --> 00:14:35,300
So is the McRib sandwich.
334
00:14:35,301 --> 00:14:37,368
I don't care
for that, either.
335
00:14:39,872 --> 00:14:43,207
Fine. What would you rather do
as a scene study?
336
00:14:43,208 --> 00:14:44,842
I'm glad you asked.
337
00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:46,077
I took the liberty
338
00:14:46,078 --> 00:14:49,013
of adapting a Star Trek
fan fiction novella
339
00:14:49,014 --> 00:14:50,548
I wrote when I was ten
340
00:14:50,549 --> 00:14:52,350
into a one-act play.
341
00:14:52,351 --> 00:14:55,753
And you think it's better
than Tennessee Williams?
342
00:14:55,754 --> 00:14:59,757
Why don't we leave that for
future generations to decide?
343
00:14:59,758 --> 00:15:03,695
Where No Sheldon
Has Gone Before.
344
00:15:03,696 --> 00:15:07,565
It's the story of a young boy
who is transported
345
00:15:07,566 --> 00:15:10,134
from the ignorant backwoods
of East Texas
346
00:15:10,135 --> 00:15:11,669
to the 23rd Century,
347
00:15:11,670 --> 00:15:16,941
where his genius is not only
appreciated, but celebrated.
348
00:15:16,942 --> 00:15:19,160
KMN...
349
00:15:19,979 --> 00:15:22,297
Now, in this
pivotal scene,
350
00:15:22,298 --> 00:15:25,717
Sheldon's mother, played by you,
argues with an emissary
351
00:15:25,718 --> 00:15:28,619
of the United Federation
of Planets, Mr. Spock,
352
00:15:28,620 --> 00:15:31,255
the role I will bring to life.
353
00:15:31,256 --> 00:15:33,725
Okay, that's fine,
but let's try
354
00:15:33,726 --> 00:15:35,827
and get you out
of your comfort zone.
355
00:15:35,828 --> 00:15:37,662
Why would we want to do that?
356
00:15:37,663 --> 00:15:40,431
It's called "the comfort zone"
for a reason.
357
00:15:40,432 --> 00:15:43,601
Okay, the whole point of this is
to loosen you up a little,
358
00:15:43,602 --> 00:15:46,137
so I'm thinking you'll play
the role of your mother,
359
00:15:46,138 --> 00:15:48,373
and I will bring life
to Mr. Spock.
360
00:15:53,979 --> 00:15:55,480
I'm sorry.
361
00:15:55,481 --> 00:15:57,281
You'll be Spock?
362
00:15:57,282 --> 00:15:59,951
It's only logical.
363
00:16:02,755 --> 00:16:04,622
Very well.
364
00:16:04,623 --> 00:16:05,957
I'll set the scene.
365
00:16:05,958 --> 00:16:06,924
All right.
366
00:16:06,925 --> 00:16:08,926
"East Texas.
367
00:16:08,927 --> 00:16:11,212
"A warm summer night.
368
00:16:11,213 --> 00:16:12,747
"A woman, Mary,
369
00:16:12,748 --> 00:16:14,866
"stands on a porch.
370
00:16:14,867 --> 00:16:17,501
In the distance, we hear a
lonesome train whistle..."
371
00:16:19,872 --> 00:16:21,672
"The droning buzz of cicadas..""
372
00:16:23,359 --> 00:16:25,693
"A coyote howls at the moon,
373
00:16:25,694 --> 00:16:28,112
frightening sensitive young boys
everywhere."
374
00:16:29,448 --> 00:16:31,416
"Out in the woods,
375
00:16:31,417 --> 00:16:33,117
an owl screeches..."
Okay, okay.
376
00:16:33,118 --> 00:16:34,752
We get it.
You set the scene.
377
00:16:34,753 --> 00:16:36,821
Hoo!
378
00:16:37,856 --> 00:16:40,158
Now just read
your mother's line.
379
00:16:42,578 --> 00:16:44,328
"Shelly!
380
00:16:44,329 --> 00:16:46,864
"Shelly, how many times
have I told you
381
00:16:46,865 --> 00:16:50,134
"not to leave your sciencey
stuff out on the porch?
382
00:16:50,135 --> 00:16:51,836
"Goodness,
383
00:16:51,837 --> 00:16:54,305
"I'll never understand that boy.
384
00:16:54,306 --> 00:16:57,241
"But then again,
I'm a religious nut,
385
00:16:57,242 --> 00:17:01,345
and my mind is closed
to so many things."
386
00:17:05,100 --> 00:17:08,519
"Spock to Enterprise.
Transport successful."
387
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,788
"Glory be to Heaven,
388
00:17:10,789 --> 00:17:14,492
"some sort of creature
just manifested out of thin air.
389
00:17:14,493 --> 00:17:16,928
"George, put down that Pepsi can
full of bourbon
390
00:17:16,929 --> 00:17:20,198
that ain't foolin' no one,
and get your shotgun!"
391
00:17:20,199 --> 00:17:22,450
"Greetings, Mary Cooper.
392
00:17:22,451 --> 00:17:24,702
I am Spock."
393
00:17:27,473 --> 00:17:29,457
I'm sorry.
I just don't buy it.
394
00:17:30,342 --> 00:17:32,543
Just keep going!
395
00:17:33,579 --> 00:17:37,849
"Oh, my, your sudden appearance
startles me."
396
00:17:37,850 --> 00:17:39,684
"We have been monitoring
your son Sheldon
397
00:17:39,685 --> 00:17:41,352
"from the 23rd Century, and
398
00:17:41,353 --> 00:17:43,121
"we have determined
that he is now ready
399
00:17:43,122 --> 00:17:44,388
"to join us.
400
00:17:44,389 --> 00:17:46,224
"His unique genius
is our best hope
401
00:17:46,225 --> 00:17:49,260
for bringing peace
to a vast and troubled galaxy."
402
00:17:49,261 --> 00:17:50,661
"I understand.
403
00:17:50,662 --> 00:17:52,763
"Oh, Shelly?
404
00:17:52,764 --> 00:17:55,366
"A man's here
to take you away to the future!
405
00:17:55,367 --> 00:17:57,235
Be sure to pack
clean underwear."
406
00:17:58,570 --> 00:18:00,705
Okay, okay, let's try
that last line again,
407
00:18:00,706 --> 00:18:02,573
and this time,
maybe try choking up
408
00:18:02,574 --> 00:18:04,175
a little.
Why?
409
00:18:04,176 --> 00:18:05,710
Well, you're losing your son.
410
00:18:05,711 --> 00:18:08,012
Yes, but he's going
to a better place
411
00:18:08,013 --> 00:18:11,249
where he won't get beat up...
so much.
412
00:18:11,250 --> 00:18:13,217
All right, come on,
just try it my way.
413
00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:14,785
Pretend you're sad
to see him go.
414
00:18:14,786 --> 00:18:17,171
I'm gonna lead you in.
415
00:18:17,172 --> 00:18:19,140
"His unique genius
is our best hope
416
00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:22,844
for bringing peace
to a vast and troubled galaxy."
417
00:18:24,062 --> 00:18:27,265
- That's your cue.
- I'm sorry. I just love that line.
418
00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:29,934
Even the way you do it.
419
00:18:30,769 --> 00:18:32,469
All right, come on, come on.
420
00:18:32,470 --> 00:18:33,821
Put some real emotion into it.
421
00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:35,606
Blah-blah, blah, blah...
"vast and troubled galaxy."
422
00:18:35,607 --> 00:18:37,008
Go.
Hmm.
423
00:18:37,809 --> 00:18:39,610
"Oh, Shelly?
424
00:18:39,611 --> 00:18:42,313
A man's here
to take you away to the future""
425
00:18:46,318 --> 00:18:49,053
"Be sure to pack clean
underwear."
426
00:18:49,054 --> 00:18:51,339
That's good. That's good.
That's good.
427
00:18:52,257 --> 00:18:54,792
Mommy, why are you crying?
428
00:18:54,793 --> 00:18:57,762
'Cause I'm gonna
miss you, Shelly-bean,
429
00:18:57,763 --> 00:19:01,332
even though you creep
the bugeeses out of me.
430
00:19:01,333 --> 00:19:03,217
Okay, I guess
we're improvising now.
431
00:19:03,218 --> 00:19:04,635
I'm sorry.
432
00:19:04,636 --> 00:19:06,103
It's not my fault.
433
00:19:06,104 --> 00:19:07,672
I'm just incredibly smart,
434
00:19:07,673 --> 00:19:11,175
and everyone around here is
dumber than a bag of rocks.
435
00:19:11,176 --> 00:19:13,044
Oh, now, don't
you start crying.
436
00:19:13,045 --> 00:19:14,529
You get in that spaceship.
437
00:19:14,530 --> 00:19:16,147
Mommy's late for
Indian bingo.
438
00:19:19,818 --> 00:19:21,519
Mrs. Cooper, hey, it's Penny.
439
00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:23,521
Yeah, I think I broke your son.
440
00:19:23,522 --> 00:19:24,789
Hey, hold on.
441
00:19:24,790 --> 00:19:25,923
Talk to your mother.
442
00:19:27,042 --> 00:19:28,793
Mommy, I love you.
443
00:19:28,794 --> 00:19:31,295
Don't let Spock take
me to the future!
444
00:19:38,850 --> 00:19:39,584
Okay, Raj,
445
00:19:39,642 --> 00:19:42,243
I know you've been avoiding me
and Howard, and I'm not leaving
446
00:19:42,244 --> 00:19:43,778
until you tell me
what's going on
447
00:19:43,779 --> 00:19:45,180
inside that little head
of yours.
448
00:19:54,457 --> 00:19:56,758
♪ Like the wild elephant ♪
449
00:19:56,759 --> 00:19:59,027
♪ I am trumpeting
my love for you! ♪
450
00:19:59,028 --> 00:20:00,929
♪ Like a hidden flower ♪
451
00:20:00,930 --> 00:20:03,498
♪ My sweet fragrance
comes into view! ♪
452
00:20:12,308 --> 00:20:16,444
♪ My heart burns for you
like the sun at noon! ♪
453
00:20:16,445 --> 00:20:20,882
♪ My desert welcomes you
like the rainy monsoon! ♪
454
00:20:20,883 --> 00:20:22,884
♪ You are my heart! ♪
455
00:20:22,885 --> 00:20:25,186
♪ My universe! ♪
456
00:20:25,187 --> 00:20:27,054
♪ You are my heart! ♪
457
00:20:27,055 --> 00:20:29,107
♪ My universe! ♪
458
00:20:29,108 --> 00:20:31,276
♪ My universe! ♪
459
00:20:31,277 --> 00:20:32,327
♪ Hey! ♪
460
00:20:32,328 --> 00:20:33,828
♪ You are my heart! ♪
461
00:20:33,829 --> 00:20:36,063
♪ My universe! ♪
462
00:20:36,064 --> 00:20:38,232
♪ You are my heart! ♪
463
00:20:38,233 --> 00:20:40,952
♪ My universe! ♪
464
00:20:40,953 --> 00:20:42,570
♪ You are my heart! ♪
465
00:20:42,571 --> 00:20:45,006
♪ My universe! ♪
466
00:20:45,007 --> 00:20:49,043
♪ My universe! ♪
467
00:20:56,511 --> 00:20:59,333
Dance number aside,
I'm so not gay.
468
00:20:59,386 --> 00:21:02,887
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