1
00:00:01,561 --> 00:00:03,063
Hey, you guys ready to order?
2
00:00:03,064 --> 00:00:05,534
- Uh, sure.
- Okay, Priya?
3
00:00:05,535 --> 00:00:06,534
Uh, I'll have
the shepherd's pie.
4
00:00:06,535 --> 00:00:07,769
You want to split
that with me?
5
00:00:07,770 --> 00:00:09,571
Oh, no, no, no,
he doesn't.
6
00:00:09,572 --> 00:00:10,606
Why not?
7
00:00:10,607 --> 00:00:12,777
Well, you have milk in
the taters,
8
00:00:12,778 --> 00:00:14,612
milk in the gravy,
parmesan crust.
9
00:00:14,613 --> 00:00:16,350
Your lactose-intolerant
boyfriend will turn
10
00:00:16,351 --> 00:00:18,751
into a gas-filled
Macy's Day balloon.
11
00:00:20,756 --> 00:00:23,891
Not quite accurate. The Macy's
balloons are filled with helium,
12
00:00:23,892 --> 00:00:26,797
whereas Leonard produces copious
amounts of methane.
13
00:00:32,372 --> 00:00:34,807
So, no, on the shepherd's pie.
Can we move on?
14
00:00:34,808 --> 00:00:36,809
Yeah, a little tip: he says
he can eat frozen yogurt.
15
00:00:36,810 --> 00:00:39,179
Do not believe it.
16
00:00:39,180 --> 00:00:41,983
Sea bass!
I'll have the sea bass!
17
00:00:41,984 --> 00:00:43,420
You gotta like this,
18
00:00:43,421 --> 00:00:45,590
the girlfriend and the
ex-girlfriend bonding
19
00:00:45,591 --> 00:00:47,759
over your rooty-tooty
stinky booty.
20
00:00:49,096 --> 00:00:50,631
Kill me.
21
00:00:50,632 --> 00:00:53,266
It wouldn'help.
The human body is capable
22
00:00:53,267 --> 00:00:56,436
of being flatulent for hours
after death.
23
00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:03,549
Guys, sorry I'm late.
I have amazing news.
24
00:01:03,550 --> 00:01:05,550
Bernadette, before you
change the subject,
25
00:01:05,551 --> 00:01:07,554
does anyone have any
final comments on
26
00:01:07,555 --> 00:01:09,490
Leonard's faulty
digestive system?
27
00:01:09,491 --> 00:01:11,593
So, what's your news,
Bernadette?
28
00:01:11,594 --> 00:01:15,765
The thesis committee accepted
my doctoral dissertation.
29
00:01:15,766 --> 00:01:17,533
I'm getting my PhD!
30
00:01:17,534 --> 00:01:19,204
- Wow!
- Oh, congratulations.
31
00:01:20,773 --> 00:01:24,009
Wow, so that means you're a
doctor, you're a doctor,
32
00:01:24,010 --> 00:01:26,511
you're a doctor,
you're a doctor,
33
00:01:26,512 --> 00:01:29,982
and Howard,
you know a lot of doctors.
34
00:01:32,854 --> 00:01:34,655
Congratulations, honey.
35
00:01:34,656 --> 00:01:36,258
Thank you.
36
00:01:36,259 --> 00:01:38,359
So, Howard, tell us,
how's it feel knowing
37
00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:39,961
that when you two get married,
38
00:01:39,962 --> 00:01:42,198
you'll be referred to
as Mr. and Dr. Wolowitz?
39
00:01:43,433 --> 00:01:45,334
Unless he takes Bernadette's
last name.
40
00:01:45,335 --> 00:01:46,937
And considering
her advanced status,
41
00:01:46,938 --> 00:01:49,272
that could open
some doors for him.
42
00:01:49,273 --> 00:01:50,942
Please, this isn't about me.
43
00:01:50,943 --> 00:01:53,245
- I'm proud of you.
- Well, you'll be really be proud of this.
44
00:01:53,246 --> 00:01:56,884
I was headhunted by a big
pharmaceutical company.
45
00:01:56,885 --> 00:01:59,152
They're gonna pay me
a buttload of money!
46
00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:00,954
What?
47
00:02:00,955 --> 00:02:02,857
Bernadette, that's great.
48
00:02:02,858 --> 00:02:04,657
Howard, do you make a buttload?
49
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:07,828
Better than what you've
got a buttload of.
50
00:02:11,167 --> 00:02:14,135
Hey, if I roll down the windows
in the car, everything's peachy.
51
00:02:14,136 --> 00:02:16,306
If you do it,
you're still not a doctor.
52
00:02:17,540 --> 00:02:19,509
Yeah, just a heads-up
on the car window deal.
53
00:02:19,510 --> 00:02:21,646
It helps, but everything
is not "peachy. "
54
00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:26,650
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
55
00:02:26,651 --> 00:02:29,988
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
56
00:02:29,989 --> 00:02:31,688
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
57
00:02:31,689 --> 00:02:34,859
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
58
00:02:34,860 --> 00:02:37,829
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
59
00:02:37,830 --> 00:02:39,865
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
60
00:02:39,866 --> 00:02:41,934
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
61
00:02:41,935 --> 00:02:44,043
♪ Bang! ♪
62
00:02:44,078 --> 00:02:45,252
SO4E24 The Roomate Transmogrification Sync
and corrected: Kiasuseven www. addic7ed. com
63
00:02:49,297 --> 00:02:52,033
♪ Oh, if there was a problem,
you can't solve it ♪
64
00:02:52,034 --> 00:02:54,268
♪ Check out the hook
while my DJ revolves it ♪
65
00:02:54,269 --> 00:02:56,638
♪ Ice, Ice, baby ♪
66
00:02:58,039 --> 00:02:59,541
♪ Ice, Ice, baby ♪
67
00:03:02,843 --> 00:03:05,114
PRIYA: Oh, God, I feel
ridiculous in this dress.
68
00:03:05,115 --> 00:03:09,051
LEONARD: You look beautiful,
Lieutenant Uhura.
69
00:03:09,052 --> 00:03:12,019
Now prepare for... inspection.
70
00:03:14,124 --> 00:03:16,258
PRIYA: Shh, my brother's
going to hear you.
71
00:03:16,259 --> 00:03:17,625
LEONARD: Relax, he's got
headphones on.
72
00:03:17,626 --> 00:03:21,263
And we're ten miles above
Earth in a starship.
73
00:03:21,264 --> 00:03:22,364
Really, ten miles?
74
00:03:22,365 --> 00:03:24,666
You're orbiting inside
the atmosphere?
75
00:03:24,667 --> 00:03:26,500
Moron.
76
00:03:26,501 --> 00:03:30,905
PRIY I can't believe I'm wearing
my brother's Halloween costume.
77
00:03:30,906 --> 00:03:34,076
LEONARD: I can't believe you think
he only wears it on Halloween.
78
00:03:35,846 --> 00:03:39,215
Open the landing bay doors,
shuttle craft approaching.
79
00:03:39,216 --> 00:03:40,885
Okay, gotta go.
80
00:03:47,158 --> 00:03:48,626
Hey, what's up?
81
00:03:48,627 --> 00:03:53,296
MRS. WOLOWITZ: Is that my future
daughter-in-law, the doctor?!
82
00:03:55,199 --> 00:03:57,399
No, Ma! It's Raj!
83
00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:59,702
He's a docrr
too, right?!
84
00:03:59,703 --> 00:04:01,470
Yes!
85
00:04:01,471 --> 00:04:03,839
Like Leonard and
the skinny weirdo!
86
00:04:05,809 --> 00:04:07,877
Sheldon, yes!
87
00:04:07,878 --> 00:04:10,044
Everybody's a doctor but me!
88
00:04:10,045 --> 00:04:13,616
Well, whose fault
is that?!
89
00:04:14,718 --> 00:04:15,952
What's up?
90
00:04:15,953 --> 00:04:18,654
Leonard's putting disgusting
memories in
91
00:04:18,655 --> 00:04:21,224
my memory foam mattress.
92
00:04:21,225 --> 00:04:22,592
Can I stay here tonight?
93
00:04:22,593 --> 00:04:25,194
Sure, but I'm going out
with Bernadette.
94
00:04:25,195 --> 00:04:26,829
It'll just be you and my mother.
95
00:04:26,830 --> 00:04:28,397
I guess that's okay.
96
00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:32,034
Ma, can Rajesh sleep over?!
97
00:04:32,035 --> 00:04:34,804
Of course, he and I
can play doctor!
98
00:04:38,507 --> 00:04:40,677
She's kidding, right?
99
00:04:40,678 --> 00:04:43,245
I don't know, she's pretty
feisty since
100
00:04:43,246 --> 00:04:45,414
they put her on
hormone-replacement therapy.
101
00:04:46,716 --> 00:04:50,319
Paging Dr.
Cutie Pie!
102
00:04:52,623 --> 00:04:54,623
I must say, Amy,
I was very impressed
103
00:04:54,624 --> 00:04:57,627
to see that Bernadette got
her PhD.
104
00:04:57,628 --> 00:04:59,327
It's indeed admirable.
105
00:04:59,328 --> 00:05:02,164
Although, it is...
microbiology.
106
00:05:02,165 --> 00:05:05,635
Your doctorate is in
neurobiology.
107
00:05:05,636 --> 00:05:07,971
I fail to see the distinction.
108
00:05:07,972 --> 00:05:09,240
I'll make it simple for you.
109
00:05:09,241 --> 00:05:11,176
I study the brain,
110
00:05:11,177 --> 00:05:13,311
the organ responsible for
Beethoven's Fifth Symphony.
111
00:05:13,312 --> 00:05:14,845
Bernadette studies yeast,
112
00:05:14,846 --> 00:05:17,347
the organism responsible
for Michelob Lite.
113
00:05:18,983 --> 00:05:20,885
Is there something wrong
with your neck?
114
00:05:20,886 --> 00:05:22,953
It's a little stiff.
115
00:05:22,954 --> 00:05:25,158
What a remarkably fragile
structure
116
00:05:25,159 --> 00:05:28,459
to support
such a valuable payload.
117
00:05:28,460 --> 00:05:33,532
Not unlike balancing a Faberge
egg on a Pixie Stick.
118
00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:35,367
Have you considered massage?
119
00:05:35,368 --> 00:05:37,970
I'd like to respond
to that sarcastically:
120
00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:41,573
Yes, I relish the thought
of a stranger covering my body
121
00:05:41,574 --> 00:05:43,610
with oil and rubbing it.
122
00:05:43,611 --> 00:05:47,481
I was proposing you massage your
muscles with your own hands.
123
00:05:47,482 --> 00:05:50,917
Still sounds like a lot
of unnecessary touching.
124
00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:54,287
Trust me. With your right hand,
locate the spot
125
00:05:54,288 --> 00:05:56,557
where the scapula meets
the acromion process.
126
00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:00,659
All right.
127
00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:02,995
Now push your third finger along
the ridge of the shoulder blade,
128
00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:04,496
making a small rotation
as you do so.
129
00:06:04,497 --> 00:06:08,066
Rotating.
130
00:06:08,067 --> 00:06:09,835
You should feel
a small node-like object
131
00:06:09,836 --> 00:06:11,671
rolling back and forth along
the bone.
132
00:06:11,672 --> 00:06:13,772
You mean the myofascial point?
133
00:06:13,773 --> 00:06:16,809
Obviously.
134
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:19,513
Now bear down on it like
the seventh grade noogies
135
00:06:19,514 --> 00:06:21,515
we all know too well.
136
00:06:23,184 --> 00:06:27,155
Oh, dear Lord, yes, yes,
oh, yes!
137
00:06:28,892 --> 00:06:30,994
Amy, I've never been touched
like this before!
138
00:06:33,262 --> 00:06:36,999
Oh! My hands are magic!
139
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,566
Don't flatter yourself.
140
00:06:38,567 --> 00:06:40,935
Your hands are blunt tools
guided by my knowledge
141
00:06:40,936 --> 00:06:42,172
of the nervous system.
142
00:06:42,173 --> 00:06:46,343
I could just as easily have
paralyzed you.
143
00:06:47,512 --> 00:06:49,781
There's someone at my door.
144
00:06:49,782 --> 00:06:51,515
That doesn't interest me.
Good-bye.
145
00:06:56,822 --> 00:06:58,688
Can I sleep here tonight?
146
00:06:58,689 --> 00:07:01,158
- Why?
- Leonard's having astronomically inaccurate
147
00:07:01,159 --> 00:07:04,461
Star Trek sex with my sister.
148
00:07:04,462 --> 00:07:06,863
I can see how that would be
upsetting. Come in.
149
00:07:08,098 --> 00:07:10,100
I'll gethe sheets
and blankets for the couch.
150
00:07:10,101 --> 00:07:12,469
Oh, don't bother. I'll just
sleep in Leonard's room.
151
00:07:12,470 --> 00:07:14,037
No, I can't authorize that.
152
00:07:14,038 --> 00:07:16,872
Well, he's in my bed.
Why can't I be in his?
153
00:07:16,873 --> 00:07:19,408
The Hammurabic Code is
"an eye for an eye,"
154
00:07:19,409 --> 00:07:21,477
not "a bed for a bed. "
155
00:07:21,478 --> 00:07:24,214
Come on, dude, I'm exhausted,
and Tyra Banks says
156
00:07:24,215 --> 00:07:26,416
the most important item in your
makeup bag is
157
00:07:26,417 --> 00:07:27,852
a good night's sleep.
158
00:07:31,623 --> 00:07:33,156
All right.
159
00:07:33,157 --> 00:07:36,659
This is a form
indemnifying me
160
00:07:36,660 --> 00:07:41,162
from your use of
"Leonard's bedroom. "
161
00:07:41,163 --> 00:07:43,132
Sign here, indicating
that I tried to stop you
162
00:07:43,133 --> 00:07:47,603
and did so using
a stern facial expression.
163
00:07:50,707 --> 00:07:52,373
Good night, Sheldon.
164
00:07:52,374 --> 00:07:53,775
Wait. Not yet.
165
00:07:53,776 --> 00:07:55,244
We still have to go over
safety procedures.
166
00:07:55,245 --> 00:07:58,281
Now, the apartment has three
emergency exits located
167
00:07:58,282 --> 00:07:59,982
here, here, and here.
168
00:07:59,983 --> 00:08:02,419
In the event of a power outage,
169
00:08:02,420 --> 00:08:05,856
luminous paint will guide you
to the nearest exit.
170
00:08:05,857 --> 00:08:06,892
You're kidding.
171
00:08:16,734 --> 00:08:19,569
I never kid about safety.
172
00:08:30,882 --> 00:08:33,817
What are you doing here?
173
00:08:33,818 --> 00:08:35,186
I was sleeping.
174
00:08:35,187 --> 00:08:36,387
In my bed?
175
00:08:36,388 --> 00:08:38,088
Well, I would've slept
in my own bed,
176
00:08:38,089 --> 00:08:40,156
but it was being used
to bring shame to my family.
177
00:08:41,293 --> 00:08:44,863
And the memory
of Gene Roddenberry.
178
00:08:44,864 --> 00:08:46,464
Oh, you heard?
179
00:08:46,465 --> 00:08:50,367
"Scotty, I need more power. "
180
00:08:50,368 --> 00:08:53,672
Sorry. Does Sheldon know
you're sleeping in here?
181
00:08:53,673 --> 00:08:55,907
Are you kidding?
He made me sign a waiver,
182
00:08:55,908 --> 00:08:58,076
participate in
an emergency fire drill
183
00:08:58,077 --> 00:09:01,514
and take a refresher course
in CPR.
184
00:09:01,515 --> 00:09:03,547
Thank God he had a dummy.
185
00:09:03,548 --> 00:09:06,584
Oh, yeah.
Mouth-to-Mouth Mona.
186
00:09:06,585 --> 00:09:09,219
You know,
she used to date Howard?
187
00:09:09,220 --> 00:09:12,556
Oh, my God, she's that Mona?
188
00:09:12,557 --> 00:09:16,093
Why can't you and my sister
spend your nights here?
189
00:09:16,094 --> 00:09:18,196
We tried. She doesn't get along
with Sheldon.
190
00:09:18,197 --> 00:09:20,633
Sheldon doesn't get along
with Sheldon.
191
00:09:20,634 --> 00:09:23,368
It's still no reason
for me to have to listen to you
192
00:09:23,369 --> 00:09:26,171
arm your
photon torpedoes every night.
193
00:09:26,172 --> 00:09:29,473
Okay, well, how about this:
until Priya gets her own place,
194
00:09:29,474 --> 00:09:31,743
you stay here and I'll stay at
your apartment.
195
00:09:31,744 --> 00:09:35,680
Can I bring girls here?
196
00:09:35,681 --> 00:09:38,183
You?
197
00:09:38,184 --> 00:09:40,250
Sure. Bring as many as you want.
198
00:09:40,251 --> 00:09:43,022
Okay, deal.
199
00:09:45,291 --> 00:09:47,025
Just not against their will.
200
00:09:52,872 --> 00:09:54,575
Do you really think you should be
eating that cake?
201
00:09:54,576 --> 00:09:55,542
Why?
202
00:09:55,543 --> 00:09:57,993
If you're gonna be a trophy
husband for a rich wife,
203
00:09:58,028 --> 00:10:01,080
you might want
to watch your waistline.
204
00:10:01,081 --> 00:10:02,281
He's right.
205
00:10:02,282 --> 00:10:05,284
A minute on the lips,
a lifetime on the hips.
206
00:10:05,285 --> 00:10:07,153
Yeah, ha-ha.
207
00:10:07,154 --> 00:10:10,724
First of all, I'm not threatened
by my fiancée's success.
208
00:10:10,725 --> 00:10:11,824
I'm proud of her.
209
00:10:11,825 --> 00:10:13,493
And secondly,
I have my own career.
210
00:10:13,494 --> 00:10:17,630
Until you have kids.
211
00:10:17,631 --> 00:10:19,432
Good news, Raj.
212
00:10:19,433 --> 00:10:21,333
I got the blood work
back from the lab.
213
00:10:21,334 --> 00:10:23,971
You're okay to stay for a while.
214
00:10:23,972 --> 00:10:25,538
When did you take my blood?
215
00:10:25,539 --> 00:10:27,773
Not important.
216
00:10:27,774 --> 00:10:30,609
Your sugar was a little high.
217
00:10:30,610 --> 00:10:33,178
I'd follow up
with your regular physician.
218
00:10:33,179 --> 00:10:34,947
In the meantime, I have some
paperwork here
219
00:10:34,948 --> 00:10:36,181
for you to go over.
220
00:10:36,182 --> 00:10:37,216
What the hell is this?
221
00:10:37,217 --> 00:10:38,984
Boilerplate stuff.
222
00:10:38,985 --> 00:10:42,253
A modified roommate agreement
for a temporary house guest.
223
00:10:42,254 --> 00:10:45,588
And a living will and durable
power of attorney.
224
00:10:46,285 --> 00:10:49,852
This says you can make
"end of life" decisions for me.
225
00:10:50,525 --> 00:10:53,532
As your friend, let's hope it
doesn't come to that.
226
00:10:53,533 --> 00:10:54,733
Please sign.
227
00:10:54,734 --> 00:10:56,566
Did you sign this?
228
00:10:56,567 --> 00:10:58,102
There's a reciprocity
clause.
229
00:10:58,103 --> 00:10:59,971
You get to pull
the plug on him, too.
230
00:11:01,273 --> 00:11:04,308
Well, that seems fair.
231
00:11:04,309 --> 00:11:07,847
Congratulations and welcome
temporarily aboard.
232
00:11:07,848 --> 00:11:09,380
Here's your I.D. card,
233
00:11:09,381 --> 00:11:14,319
your key and your lapel pin.
234
00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:16,857
Which Leonard was
too cool to wear.
235
00:11:21,062 --> 00:11:22,729
FYI, part of your
responsibilities
236
00:11:22,730 --> 00:11:25,331
as roommate pro tem
will be to drive me
237
00:11:25,332 --> 00:11:28,133
to and from work, the comic book
store, the barbershop
238
00:11:28,134 --> 00:11:32,604
and the park for one hour every
other Sunday for fresh air.
239
00:11:32,605 --> 00:11:35,240
Bring a ball or a Frisbee,
240
00:11:35,241 --> 00:11:37,542
you know, something
he can chase.
241
00:11:37,543 --> 00:11:40,779
Also, you're tasked
with bringing home
242
00:11:40,780 --> 00:11:41,948
all takeout dinners.
243
00:11:41,949 --> 00:11:43,316
Tonight is Thai food.
244
00:11:43,317 --> 00:11:45,951
You'll find the standard order
in appendix B
245
00:11:45,952 --> 00:11:48,388
or downloadable
from my FTP server.
246
00:11:48,389 --> 00:11:49,756
If you have
any questions,
247
00:11:49,757 --> 00:11:51,257
here's the FAQ sheet,
248
00:11:51,258 --> 00:11:53,827
or if you prefer
the human touch,
249
00:11:53,828 --> 00:11:55,661
I do a live web chat called
"Apartment Talk"
250
00:11:55,662 --> 00:11:57,931
on Tuesday nights.
251
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:02,602
No backsies.
252
00:12:06,975 --> 00:12:09,343
Sheldon, dinner!
253
00:12:16,587 --> 00:12:17,954
What is this?
254
00:12:17,955 --> 00:12:20,757
This is the difference
between
255
00:12:20,758 --> 00:12:22,791
eating and dining.
256
00:12:25,696 --> 00:12:30,099
Remarkable.
I'm just realizing how much
257
00:12:30,100 --> 00:12:33,271
Leonard's been skating by
all these years.
258
00:12:34,404 --> 00:12:35,671
It's not a big thing.
259
00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:39,006
Just think of me as
a brown Martha Stewart.
260
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:42,479
Hey, Sheldon,
261
00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:43,946
did you change
your Wi-Fi password again?
262
00:12:43,947 --> 00:12:47,551
Yes, it's "Penny, get your
own Wi-Fi. " No spaces.
263
00:12:47,552 --> 00:12:49,285
Thanks.
264
00:12:49,286 --> 00:12:51,522
Wow! What's with
the fancy spread?
265
00:12:51,523 --> 00:12:54,224
My new roommate
is bending over backwards
266
00:12:54,225 --> 00:12:55,826
to ingratiate himself to me.
267
00:12:55,827 --> 00:13:00,163
Uh, nice touch,
by the way.
268
00:13:00,164 --> 00:13:02,332
What do you mean "new roommate"?
What happened to Leonard?
269
00:13:02,333 --> 00:13:04,667
The same thing that happened
to Homo erectus.
270
00:13:04,668 --> 00:13:07,337
He was replaced
by a superior species.
271
00:13:08,372 --> 00:13:10,507
I'm the new Homo in town.
272
00:13:13,978 --> 00:13:15,679
That came out wrong.
273
00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:18,148
All right, let me try this
again. Where's Leonard?
274
00:13:18,149 --> 00:13:20,484
He's living at my place,
so I'm living here.
275
00:13:20,485 --> 00:13:22,519
You're living here
provisionally.
276
00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:24,989
But I must say
it's looking good.
277
00:13:24,990 --> 00:13:28,057
Wo Leonard and Priya
are living together?
278
00:13:28,058 --> 00:13:29,058
That's big.
279
00:13:29,059 --> 00:13:34,033
No. Origami napkin swans...
280
00:13:34,034 --> 00:13:36,867
that's the headline.
281
00:13:36,868 --> 00:13:39,803
It's a good thing.
282
00:13:41,173 --> 00:13:44,108
So do you know what kind
of research you'll be doing
283
00:13:44,109 --> 00:13:45,709
at this pharmaceutical
company?
284
00:13:45,710 --> 00:13:48,446
Well, there are a couple of
opportunities available,
285
00:13:48,447 --> 00:13:52,483
but I volunteered for the
premature ejaculation project.
286
00:13:56,288 --> 00:14:00,392
I mean, it's not like either
one ofsuhas heart disease.
287
00:14:04,096 --> 00:14:06,833
Oh, I almost forgot.
I got you a little present.
288
00:14:06,834 --> 00:14:09,603
Oh, Bernie, no.
You didn't have to.
289
00:14:09,604 --> 00:14:11,904
I wanted to.
Come on, open it.
290
00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:18,376
You bought me a Rolex?
291
00:14:18,377 --> 00:14:20,578
How much did this cost?
292
00:14:20,579 --> 00:14:22,683
Oh, you let me worry
about the money.
293
00:14:24,986 --> 00:14:27,819
I just want my baby
to have pretty things.
294
00:14:32,759 --> 00:14:34,293
More wine?
295
00:14:34,294 --> 00:14:36,628
Oh, no, no, no. I've had
way too much already.
296
00:14:36,629 --> 00:14:38,898
Here's an interesting
fact about alcohol...
297
00:14:38,899 --> 00:14:40,566
Hit me.
298
00:14:43,370 --> 00:14:46,739
Man is not the only species
299
00:14:46,740 --> 00:14:49,610
that ferments fruit
in order to become intoxicated.
300
00:14:49,611 --> 00:14:51,277
Can you guess what the other is?
301
00:14:51,278 --> 00:14:54,214
Hint: sometimes they pack
the alcohol
302
00:14:54,215 --> 00:14:56,349
in their trunks.
303
00:14:56,350 --> 00:14:58,451
Monkeys.
304
00:15:01,489 --> 00:15:04,757
When does a monkey
have a trunk?
305
00:15:04,758 --> 00:15:07,994
When a suitcase just won't do.
306
00:15:10,530 --> 00:15:12,865
Mmm, all right.
307
00:15:12,866 --> 00:15:14,933
It would appear as if alcohol
308
00:15:14,934 --> 00:15:16,969
is playing keep-away
with your intelligence.
309
00:15:16,970 --> 00:15:18,869
Good night.
310
00:15:18,870 --> 00:15:21,139
Please note,
it is now past 10:00 p. m.
311
00:15:21,140 --> 00:15:23,775
Per our roommate agreement,
kindly refrain
312
00:15:23,776 --> 00:15:25,177
from raucous laughter,
313
00:15:25,178 --> 00:15:27,844
clinking of glasses,
and celebratory gunfire.
314
00:15:30,783 --> 00:15:31,917
Okay...
315
00:15:31,918 --> 00:15:33,819
explain something to me.
316
00:15:33,820 --> 00:15:37,289
You watch Leonard put up with
that guy for years and years.
317
00:15:37,290 --> 00:15:40,359
What has to break inside
your brain for you to think,
318
00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:43,161
"Oh, Krishna,
I've got to get me some of that"?
319
00:15:44,696 --> 00:15:46,865
Well, it's a lot better than
320
00:15:46,866 --> 00:15:49,168
having to wear noise-cancelling
headphones in my own apartment.
321
00:15:49,169 --> 00:15:51,504
What? Oh, God, yeah. Yeah.
322
00:15:51,505 --> 00:15:54,075
Leonard's a noisy little dude
in the sack.
323
00:15:54,076 --> 00:15:56,409
- Every night.
- Really?
324
00:15:56,410 --> 00:15:58,411
Even during allergy season,
when he has to alternate
325
00:15:58,412 --> 00:16:00,381
between kissing and breathing?
326
00:16:02,082 --> 00:16:04,585
It's my sister. Can we not
talk about this anymore?
327
00:16:04,586 --> 00:16:07,720
Yeah. Sorry, sorry.
328
00:16:07,721 --> 00:16:09,722
Can I tell you a secret?
329
00:16:09,723 --> 00:16:11,156
Yeah.
330
00:16:11,157 --> 00:16:13,358
I screwed up.
331
00:16:13,359 --> 00:16:14,693
Leonard's a great guy.
332
00:16:14,694 --> 00:16:17,662
Never should have
broken up with him.
333
00:16:17,663 --> 00:16:20,764
Well, uh, to paraphrase
Shakespeare:
334
00:16:20,765 --> 00:16:23,133
"It's better to have
loved and lost
335
00:16:23,134 --> 00:16:24,903
"than to stay home every night
and download
336
00:16:24,904 --> 00:16:28,306
increasingly shameful
pornography. "
337
00:16:30,444 --> 00:16:33,779
Ohh... you poor baby.
338
00:16:33,780 --> 00:16:35,248
What's wrong with me, Penny?
339
00:16:35,249 --> 00:16:36,483
Nothing, nothing.
340
00:16:36,484 --> 00:16:37,951
You know, if we weren't friends,
341
00:16:37,952 --> 00:16:41,087
and you hadn't brought up
that creepy pornography story,
342
00:16:41,088 --> 00:16:42,488
I'd be on you like
343
00:16:42,489 --> 00:16:44,757
the speed of light squared
on matter to make energy.
344
00:16:44,758 --> 00:16:47,527
Hey, you totally got that right!
345
00:16:47,528 --> 00:16:49,061
"E=mc2."
346
00:16:49,062 --> 00:16:50,262
I listen.
347
00:16:50,263 --> 00:16:53,165
I have no idea what it means,
but I listen.
348
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:56,068
- To friendship.
- To friendship.
349
00:16:58,006 --> 00:17:00,840
SHELDON: Would you booze hounds
please stop that infernal clinking?!
350
00:17:03,643 --> 00:17:06,846
And the answer
was elephant!
351
00:17:08,216 --> 00:17:10,716
Mmm.
352
00:17:10,717 --> 00:17:14,153
Mmm.
353
00:17:14,154 --> 00:17:17,824
Leonard, sweetheart, we're
kissing, not eating hot soup.
354
00:17:18,858 --> 00:17:20,459
Sorry.
355
00:17:24,430 --> 00:17:26,366
That's my parents
on video chat.
356
00:17:26,367 --> 00:17:27,834
Go hide
in the bedroom.
357
00:17:27,835 --> 00:17:29,202
Oh, come on!
358
00:17:29,203 --> 00:17:30,669
Why don't we just tell
them that we're dating?
359
00:17:30,670 --> 00:17:32,740
Oh, we've been through this.
It's not the time.
360
00:17:32,741 --> 00:17:33,774
When is the time?
361
00:17:33,775 --> 00:17:35,408
I've got five brothers
and sisters.
362
00:17:35,409 --> 00:17:36,776
One of them is bound
to screw up real big,
363
00:17:36,777 --> 00:17:39,312
and then I'll tell my parents
about you. Now, shoo.
364
00:17:39,313 --> 00:17:41,748
Fine.
365
00:17:41,749 --> 00:17:45,051
Hello, Mummy. Hello, Daddy.
366
00:17:45,052 --> 00:17:47,187
We heard there was a tornado
in Kansas City.
367
00:17:47,188 --> 00:17:48,821
Is that close to you?
368
00:17:48,822 --> 00:17:50,624
No.
369
00:17:50,625 --> 00:17:51,624
Where is your brother?
370
00:17:51,625 --> 00:17:53,428
Out with friends.
371
00:17:53,429 --> 00:17:55,997
I don't like it, a young girl
alone in an apartment.
372
00:17:55,998 --> 00:17:58,865
I'll sleep so much better when
you move back here next month.
373
00:17:58,866 --> 00:18:00,366
You're moving
back to India?!
374
00:18:00,367 --> 00:18:01,867
DR. KOOTHRAPPALI:
Who's that?
375
00:18:01,868 --> 00:18:03,770
Oh, my God! There's someone
in your apartment.
376
00:18:03,771 --> 00:18:05,270
Call the police in America!
377
00:18:05,271 --> 00:18:07,874
When were you going
to tell me about this?
378
00:18:07,875 --> 00:18:10,075
Oh, hello, Leonard.
379
00:18:10,076 --> 00:18:11,577
What aleasant surprise!
380
00:18:11,578 --> 00:18:14,881
Mummy, Daddy, you remember
Rajesh's friend Leonard.
381
00:18:14,882 --> 00:18:17,216
I thought you said Rajesh
was out with his friends.
382
00:18:17,217 --> 00:18:19,452
He has many friends.
383
00:18:19,453 --> 00:18:21,054
Rajesh has many friends?
384
00:18:22,689 --> 00:18:24,990
Why are you lying to us?
385
00:18:24,991 --> 00:18:27,294
She's lying because she doesn't
want you to know we're dating.
386
00:18:27,295 --> 00:18:28,795
Leonard!
387
00:18:28,796 --> 00:18:30,364
Well, what difference
does it make? If you're
388
00:18:30,365 --> 00:18:32,666
moving back to India,
we're obviously breaking up.
389
00:18:32,667 --> 00:18:35,734
You know what? I don't want
to deal with this right now.
390
00:18:42,707 --> 00:18:45,376
So...
391
00:18:45,377 --> 00:18:48,245
Hot in India?
392
00:18:48,246 --> 00:18:51,614
Of course it is.
It always is. It's India.
393
00:18:53,217 --> 00:18:55,285
Now, what do you have
to say for yourself?
394
00:18:55,286 --> 00:18:57,288
Uh...
395
00:18:57,289 --> 00:18:59,556
That is a beautiful tapestry.
396
00:19:34,535 --> 00:19:37,238
Oh, God.
397
00:19:41,777 --> 00:19:43,378
Oh, God!
398
00:19:44,648 --> 00:19:45,814
Oh.
399
00:19:46,916 --> 00:19:48,417
Okay, look.
400
00:19:48,418 --> 00:19:49,920
This never happened.
401
00:19:49,921 --> 00:19:51,654
Do you understand me?
402
00:19:53,956 --> 00:19:56,626
Really?! Still
can't talk to me?
403
00:20:00,397 --> 00:20:02,332
What are you
doing here?
404
00:20:02,333 --> 00:20:03,467
What?
405
00:20:03,468 --> 00:20:05,369
I said, what are you doing here?
406
00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:06,636
I live here.
407
00:20:06,637 --> 00:20:09,973
I have paperwork
that says differently.
408
00:20:11,808 --> 00:20:14,010
Priya's going back to India.
409
00:20:14,011 --> 00:20:15,579
Irrelevant.
410
00:20:16,915 --> 00:20:18,915
Rajesh and I have
a good thing going
411
00:20:18,916 --> 00:20:20,450
and you're not going to ruin it.
412
00:20:23,888 --> 00:20:25,287
What are you doing here?
413
00:20:25,288 --> 00:20:27,289
I've been up all night.
414
00:20:27,290 --> 00:20:29,492
- I had a fight with Bernadette.
- Why?
415
00:20:29,493 --> 00:20:32,461
She gave me
a beautiful watch.
416
00:20:35,098 --> 00:20:37,332
Leonard, do you
understand this?
417
00:20:37,333 --> 00:20:38,767
Yes.
418
00:20:38,768 --> 00:20:40,302
Talk to him.
419
00:20:48,645 --> 00:20:50,646
Damn.
420
00:20:52,315 --> 00:20:53,815
What's going on?
421
00:20:53,816 --> 00:20:56,150
Oh...
422
00:20:56,151 --> 00:20:58,420
It's-it's not what
it looks like.
423
00:21:01,724 --> 00:21:03,460
What does it look like?
424
00:21:05,501 --> 00:21:06,318
Subtitle by: Kiasuseven