1
00:00:02,673 --> 00:00:05,907
This is an easy one.
You love this guy.
2
00:00:05,909 --> 00:00:07,676
Me.
3
00:00:08,812 --> 00:00:12,214
Come on, he's an
underappreciated genius.
4
00:00:12,216 --> 00:00:14,683
Still think it's me.
5
00:00:14,685 --> 00:00:16,284
It's not you.
6
00:00:16,286 --> 00:00:18,987
Now think, there's
a car named after him.
7
00:00:18,989 --> 00:00:20,222
Of course there is.
8
00:00:20,224 --> 00:00:22,324
The Mini Cooper,
'cause it's me.
9
00:00:24,561 --> 00:00:26,428
How about this:
10
00:00:26,430 --> 00:00:28,563
he's a poor man's
Sheldon Cooper.
11
00:00:28,565 --> 00:00:30,198
Oh, Tesla.
12
00:00:31,001 --> 00:00:32,067
- Hi.
- Hey! - Hello.
13
00:00:32,069 --> 00:00:33,602
How'd it go?
Oh, not fun.
14
00:00:33,604 --> 00:00:36,771
The doctor shoved a camera
up into my sinuses.
15
00:00:36,773 --> 00:00:38,907
Yeah, I watched. It was like
the scary boat tunnel
16
00:00:38,909 --> 00:00:41,009
in Willy Wonka.
17
00:00:42,312 --> 00:00:44,379
Did they figure out what's wrong?
Yeah.
18
00:00:44,381 --> 00:00:45,347
It's a deviated septum.
19
00:00:45,349 --> 00:00:46,481
The surgery
to correct it is simple.
20
00:00:46,483 --> 00:00:47,682
He's gonna do it next week.
21
00:00:47,684 --> 00:00:49,618
Why would you have surgery?
22
00:00:49,620 --> 00:00:51,319
Because I can't breathe.
23
00:00:51,321 --> 00:00:53,822
I snore, I get sinus
infections...
24
00:00:53,824 --> 00:00:56,324
Yeah, back off,
he's all mine.
25
00:00:56,326 --> 00:00:58,593
But you don't have
a life-threatening condition.
26
00:00:58,595 --> 00:01:00,495
Why would you
take the risk of surgery?
27
00:01:00,497 --> 00:01:02,297
Sheldon, it's a routine
procedure.
28
00:01:02,299 --> 00:01:04,399
I've heard you complain
about his snoring.
29
00:01:04,401 --> 00:01:06,601
We... Yes, for the first
five or six years,
30
00:01:06,603 --> 00:01:08,503
but I've gotten used to it.
31
00:01:09,106 --> 00:01:10,505
It helps me sleep.
32
00:01:10,507 --> 00:01:13,175
He's like my mucus-powered
white noise machine.
33
00:01:14,411 --> 00:01:16,344
Sheldon, I'm gonna get
the surgery, it's no big deal.
34
00:01:16,346 --> 00:01:17,445
End of story.
35
00:01:17,447 --> 00:01:18,994
Very well.
I'm done talking about it.
36
00:01:18,994 --> 00:01:19,811
Thank you.
37
00:01:19,835 --> 00:01:21,450
I believe it was
your turn in the game.
38
00:01:21,451 --> 00:01:22,784
Okay.
39
00:01:24,588 --> 00:01:25,620
Let's see...
40
00:01:25,622 --> 00:01:28,390
Oh, this person is most famous
41
00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:29,558
for never having gotten
42
00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:32,494
his nose mutilated
with elective surgery
43
00:01:32,496 --> 00:01:34,996
and never living the rest
of his life in the shadows
44
00:01:34,998 --> 00:01:36,831
as a hideous, disfigured freak.
45
00:01:38,135 --> 00:01:40,435
I think you could
give a better clue.
46
00:01:40,437 --> 00:01:41,536
I don't.
47
00:01:41,538 --> 00:01:44,739
I'm not even sure if
that's a person or a typo.
48
00:01:45,809 --> 00:01:49,077
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
49
00:01:49,079 --> 00:01:52,747
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
50
00:01:52,749 --> 00:01:54,349
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
51
00:01:54,351 --> 00:01:56,885
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
52
00:01:56,887 --> 00:01:59,454
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
53
00:01:59,456 --> 00:02:02,190
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
54
00:02:02,192 --> 00:02:04,092
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
55
00:02:04,094 --> 00:02:04,512
♪ Bang! ♪
56
00:02:04,513 --> 00:02:08,513
♪ The Big Bang Theory 8x09 ♪
The Septum Deviation
Original Air Date on November 13, 20
57
00:02:08,514 --> 00:02:15,014
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
58
00:02:28,452 --> 00:02:31,653
Okay, why?
59
00:02:31,655 --> 00:02:33,755
I'm listening to you snore.
60
00:02:33,757 --> 00:02:36,958
I'm wondering how
I'll ever sleep without it.
61
00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,694
If it helps you sleep,
62
00:02:39,696 --> 00:02:41,630
then why are you sitting here
staring at me
63
00:02:41,632 --> 00:02:43,999
like the albino boogeyman?
64
00:02:45,469 --> 00:02:47,135
Really, Leonard-- insults?
65
00:02:47,137 --> 00:02:48,870
After I spent two hours
in your closet,
66
00:02:48,872 --> 00:02:50,305
waiting for you to fall asleep?
67
00:02:53,444 --> 00:02:54,709
What's your problem?
68
00:02:54,711 --> 00:02:58,780
If the surgery is successful,
the snoring is gone.
69
00:02:58,782 --> 00:03:01,316
And if you die during surgery...
70
00:03:02,052 --> 00:03:04,686
...the snoring is gone.
71
00:03:05,756 --> 00:03:09,091
It sounds like either way,
I finally get some rest.
72
00:03:09,093 --> 00:03:11,026
I have to be honest
with you Leonard,
73
00:03:11,028 --> 00:03:12,694
I'm truly worried.
74
00:03:12,696 --> 00:03:15,597
I-I told you, there's
nothing to worry about.
75
00:03:15,599 --> 00:03:17,165
Well, I've been
doing some research
76
00:03:17,167 --> 00:03:19,701
and I've learned that
one in 700,000 people
77
00:03:19,703 --> 00:03:22,003
die from general anesthesia.
78
00:03:22,005 --> 00:03:24,706
Buddy, w... Do you realize that
that also means
79
00:03:24,708 --> 00:03:28,677
699,999 people don't die?
80
00:03:30,848 --> 00:03:32,414
I suppose that's true.
81
00:03:34,218 --> 00:03:36,618
You're such a glass
half-full kind of guy.
82
00:03:38,422 --> 00:03:40,989
I'm going to miss that.
83
00:03:43,327 --> 00:03:46,828
Oh, so, my, uh, parents'
40th anniversary's coming up
84
00:03:46,830 --> 00:03:49,030
and I can't think
of a thing to get them.
85
00:03:49,032 --> 00:03:50,465
Damn, can you imagine
86
00:03:50,467 --> 00:03:54,236
being married to someone
for 40 years?
87
00:03:57,007 --> 00:03:59,040
Not anymore.
88
00:04:03,180 --> 00:04:05,547
Anyway, any ideas on a gift?
89
00:04:05,549 --> 00:04:07,682
Well, what are some
of the things they like?
90
00:04:07,684 --> 00:04:10,085
They used to like
going to the Mumbai Symphony,
91
00:04:10,087 --> 00:04:12,387
but last year my mom thought
they were phoning it in.
92
00:04:12,389 --> 00:04:13,622
Then my dad said
based on their
93
00:04:13,624 --> 00:04:16,858
love life, she should know
about phoning it in.
94
00:04:17,806 --> 00:04:18,795
He said that to her?
95
00:04:18,819 --> 00:04:20,363
Well, they weren't
speaking at the time,
96
00:04:20,364 --> 00:04:22,197
so he had a servant
say it to her.
97
00:04:22,199 --> 00:04:25,333
Oh, maybe I could
make a gift for them.
98
00:04:25,335 --> 00:04:28,737
I know how much you guys love
the coasters I made for you.
99
00:04:31,108 --> 00:04:33,708
They're yours in the divorce.
100
00:04:38,048 --> 00:04:39,814
Hey. What're you working on?
101
00:04:39,816 --> 00:04:41,716
Remember when I said
if you went through
102
00:04:41,718 --> 00:04:45,320
with your surgery, there was a
one-in-700,000 chance of dying?
103
00:04:45,322 --> 00:04:47,522
Yeah...?
104
00:04:47,524 --> 00:04:49,224
Well, I've been
crunching the numbers,
105
00:04:49,226 --> 00:04:52,561
and so far, I've gotten
your probability of death
106
00:04:52,563 --> 00:04:54,229
all the way to a
sphincter-tightening
107
00:04:54,231 --> 00:04:56,798
one in 300.
108
00:04:58,335 --> 00:04:59,701
Great timing.
109
00:04:59,703 --> 00:05:02,571
My “check sphincter”
light just went on.
110
00:05:02,573 --> 00:05:05,373
Leonard, what if you have
an allergic reaction
111
00:05:05,375 --> 00:05:07,742
to the surgeon's latex gloves?
I'm not
112
00:05:07,744 --> 00:05:09,010
allergic to latex.
113
00:05:09,012 --> 00:05:10,645
Well, then why don't you
wear the rubber gloves
114
00:05:10,647 --> 00:05:12,280
I bought for you
to do the dishes?
115
00:05:12,282 --> 00:05:15,784
For the same reason I don't
wear the apron or the hair net.
116
00:05:15,786 --> 00:05:18,720
Fine. What about epilepsy?
117
00:05:18,722 --> 00:05:20,488
I don't have epilepsy, either.
118
00:05:20,490 --> 00:05:22,924
You don't,
but the surgeon might, hmm?
119
00:05:22,926 --> 00:05:26,428
And your carotid artery is just
one shaky scalpel away
120
00:05:26,430 --> 00:05:29,965
from becoming the dancing
fountain at Disneyland.
121
00:05:29,967 --> 00:05:33,335
Sheldon, do you realize that
driving is riskier than surgery?
122
00:05:33,337 --> 00:05:36,571
I do. I have the drive
to the hospital right here.
123
00:05:36,573 --> 00:05:37,906
That is if
you make it
124
00:05:37,908 --> 00:05:40,742
to the car without
falling down the stairs.
125
00:05:40,744 --> 00:05:43,778
And don't expect me to carry
you, I do that enough in life.
126
00:05:44,881 --> 00:05:46,715
Buddy, I-I get that
you're worried about me
127
00:05:46,717 --> 00:05:49,618
and I-I appreciate that,
but I'm not going to die.
128
00:05:49,620 --> 00:05:51,253
You don't know that.
Well...
129
00:05:51,255 --> 00:05:54,756
I do know that it won't
be from an asteroid strike.
130
00:05:55,993 --> 00:05:57,559
You know who else said that?
131
00:05:57,561 --> 00:05:59,561
Every cocky T. Rex
currently swimming around
132
00:05:59,563 --> 00:06:01,630
in the gas tank of your car.
133
00:06:02,466 --> 00:06:04,266
I-If there was
an asteroid strike,
134
00:06:04,268 --> 00:06:05,467
wouldn't you die, too?
135
00:06:05,469 --> 00:06:07,202
I don't know--
I'm smart and scrappy,
136
00:06:07,204 --> 00:06:09,537
I think I'd find a way.
137
00:06:11,241 --> 00:06:13,341
Tell you what--
the surgery's not for a week,
138
00:06:13,343 --> 00:06:14,576
I'll think about it.
139
00:06:14,578 --> 00:06:17,379
Thank you. And while
you're thinking about it,
140
00:06:17,381 --> 00:06:19,481
if you have the surgery
in Nicaragua during
141
00:06:19,483 --> 00:06:21,082
monsoon season,
I can practically
142
00:06:21,084 --> 00:06:22,484
guarantee your death.
143
00:06:27,457 --> 00:06:30,458
Yes. Okay.
144
00:06:30,460 --> 00:06:32,093
I-I understand.
145
00:06:32,095 --> 00:06:33,428
Of course, yes.
146
00:06:33,430 --> 00:06:35,463
I'll call you tomorrow.
147
00:06:35,465 --> 00:06:37,265
Bye.
148
00:06:37,267 --> 00:06:40,502
So I found this fencing school
in Burbank
149
00:06:40,504 --> 00:06:42,904
that has a Jedi class.
150
00:06:44,841 --> 00:06:46,608
And if you're cool
being the only adults there,
151
00:06:46,610 --> 00:06:48,877
they said they are.
152
00:06:49,813 --> 00:06:51,479
Dude, my parents just split up.
153
00:06:51,481 --> 00:06:54,349
What?!
Uh, that was my dad on the phone.
154
00:06:54,351 --> 00:06:56,284
He moved out.
155
00:06:56,286 --> 00:06:59,187
Oh, my God, I... I'm sorry.
156
00:06:59,189 --> 00:07:02,090
I mean, if you're not up to it,
we don't have to go out,
157
00:07:02,092 --> 00:07:04,059
we can just hang here.
No,
158
00:07:04,061 --> 00:07:06,227
it's fine.
It's not that big a deal.
159
00:07:06,229 --> 00:07:08,530
As long as they're happy,
I'm happy.
160
00:07:08,532 --> 00:07:10,765
And when I get to see them
for the holidays,
161
00:07:10,767 --> 00:07:12,834
I'll get to celebrate
Diwali twice--
162
00:07:12,836 --> 00:07:14,436
one at each house.
163
00:07:16,773 --> 00:07:18,940
That's double the Diwali.
164
00:07:19,876 --> 00:07:21,176
You sure you're okay?
165
00:07:21,178 --> 00:07:22,277
I'm okay.
166
00:07:22,279 --> 00:07:23,511
You don't look okay.
167
00:07:23,513 --> 00:07:26,014
How can I be okay?
I come from a broken home.
168
00:07:28,652 --> 00:07:31,086
The doctor said I should be
out of surgery by 10:00.
169
00:07:31,088 --> 00:07:32,554
Okay.
170
00:07:32,556 --> 00:07:36,324
And Sheldon really believes
we're at a public swimming pool?
171
00:07:37,461 --> 00:07:40,695
He was so busy figuring out
how many parts per million
172
00:07:40,697 --> 00:07:43,498
of urine we'd be floating around
in, he didn't even question it.
173
00:07:44,768 --> 00:07:48,069
18 parts per million.
174
00:07:49,306 --> 00:07:51,406
And he's still doing it.
175
00:07:51,408 --> 00:07:54,109
Don't worry about that.
I'm happy to take you to work.
176
00:07:54,111 --> 00:07:55,543
Well, thank you.
177
00:07:55,545 --> 00:07:58,980
And Leonard never lets me have
French toast sticks in the car.
178
00:07:58,982 --> 00:08:01,082
I can't have syrupy fingers,
179
00:08:01,084 --> 00:08:04,052
but he can do the backstroke
in a toilet bowl.
180
00:08:05,355 --> 00:08:07,789
It's nice they're
getting exercise.
181
00:08:08,859 --> 00:08:11,059
Although now that
I think about it,
182
00:08:11,061 --> 00:08:13,228
Leonard would never
go swimming in public
183
00:08:13,230 --> 00:08:15,830
without his swim shirt.
184
00:08:16,867 --> 00:08:17,999
I'm sure he brought it.
185
00:08:18,001 --> 00:08:20,068
No, but last year,
at Magic Mountain,
186
00:08:20,070 --> 00:08:21,736
he got such a bad sunburn,
187
00:08:21,738 --> 00:08:24,506
we had to cut him out of it.
188
00:08:25,709 --> 00:08:27,742
He probably got a new one.
Finish your breakfast.
189
00:08:27,744 --> 00:08:29,644
Look, there's an entire
section of my dashboard
190
00:08:29,646 --> 00:08:31,446
that doesn't have
any syrup on it.
191
00:08:32,315 --> 00:08:35,250
You're acting odd. Why?
192
00:08:35,252 --> 00:08:38,386
I'm odd all the time,
everyone knows that.
193
00:08:38,388 --> 00:08:39,854
Just last night,
194
00:08:39,856 --> 00:08:42,991
I tried to see how many fava
beans I could fit in my mouth.
195
00:08:44,461 --> 00:08:45,660
Tell me the truth.
196
00:08:45,662 --> 00:08:48,263
28.
Come on.
197
00:08:48,265 --> 00:08:50,999
Fifty-six.
198
00:08:51,001 --> 00:08:52,233
Amy!
199
00:08:52,235 --> 00:08:54,702
What's going on?
200
00:08:54,704 --> 00:08:56,638
All right.
201
00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:57,806
Don't get upset, but...
202
00:08:57,808 --> 00:09:01,109
an earlier appointment
opened up for Leonard
203
00:09:01,111 --> 00:09:04,779
and he's getting
the surgery right now.
204
00:09:08,418 --> 00:09:10,618
I see.
205
00:09:15,692 --> 00:09:17,125
Take me to Leonard.
206
00:09:17,127 --> 00:09:19,227
Just go to work,
he'll be fine.
207
00:09:19,229 --> 00:09:22,063
Amy, he's my best friend,
and if you don't take me,
208
00:09:22,065 --> 00:09:23,631
I'm going there anyway.
209
00:09:23,633 --> 00:09:26,734
Fine.
210
00:09:26,736 --> 00:09:29,337
It's sweet that you
care about him so much.
211
00:09:29,339 --> 00:09:30,572
I do.
212
00:09:30,574 --> 00:09:32,240
And I wouldn't
be able to forgive myself,
213
00:09:32,242 --> 00:09:34,542
if something happened to him
and I wasn't at his bedside
214
00:09:34,544 --> 00:09:36,811
to say, “I told you so.”
215
00:09:53,503 --> 00:09:54,769
Hello.
216
00:09:54,771 --> 00:09:56,537
We had a really nice swim.
217
00:09:56,539 --> 00:09:57,805
Oh, stop it.
218
00:09:57,807 --> 00:10:01,242
I assume this medical
center's already treated
219
00:10:01,244 --> 00:10:04,278
the burns on your bottom
from the recent pants fire.
220
00:10:05,515 --> 00:10:07,715
'Cause I'm a liar, liar?
221
00:10:07,717 --> 00:10:09,817
That's for the fire marshal
to determine.
222
00:10:11,821 --> 00:10:12,853
You had to tell him?
223
00:10:12,855 --> 00:10:14,388
He wore me down.
224
00:10:14,390 --> 00:10:15,723
And I was distracted.
225
00:10:15,725 --> 00:10:18,726
He has on
extra baby powder today.
226
00:10:18,728 --> 00:10:20,194
Is he okay?
227
00:10:20,196 --> 00:10:22,196
He's still in surgery.
228
00:10:23,533 --> 00:10:25,399
Very well.
229
00:10:25,401 --> 00:10:27,835
He's gonna be all right.
230
00:10:27,837 --> 00:10:30,004
That is sticky.
231
00:10:31,841 --> 00:10:33,507
Come on,
let's talk about something
232
00:10:33,509 --> 00:10:34,675
other than the surgery.
233
00:10:34,677 --> 00:10:36,277
That's a good idea.
234
00:10:36,279 --> 00:10:40,648
Penny, did you and Leonard ever
discuss funeral arrangements?
235
00:10:41,884 --> 00:10:44,619
I think she meant
something a little happier.
236
00:10:44,621 --> 00:10:49,056
I suppose we could try
to make it a celebration,
237
00:10:49,058 --> 00:10:51,392
but he died so young.
238
00:10:55,131 --> 00:10:56,731
Knock, knock.
Hi.
239
00:10:56,733 --> 00:10:57,732
Hey.
What brings you by?
240
00:10:57,734 --> 00:10:59,400
Oh...
241
00:10:59,402 --> 00:11:02,236
muffin much.
242
00:11:03,072 --> 00:11:05,172
Told you-- not funny.
243
00:11:05,174 --> 00:11:07,174
He's just not laughing
244
00:11:07,176 --> 00:11:11,746
because he's feeling...
blue berry.
245
00:11:12,749 --> 00:11:16,317
Tough crowd.
246
00:11:16,319 --> 00:11:17,852
I'm sorry.
247
00:11:17,854 --> 00:11:19,587
This is very sweet. Thanks.
248
00:11:19,589 --> 00:11:20,721
So, how you doing?
249
00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:21,956
Better. I guess
250
00:11:21,958 --> 00:11:24,291
the news just hit me
a lot harder than I expected.
251
00:11:24,293 --> 00:11:25,660
Well, of course.
252
00:11:25,662 --> 00:11:28,095
I would be devastated
if my parents split up.
253
00:11:28,097 --> 00:11:31,532
Why? Your father barely
speaks to your mother.
254
00:11:31,534 --> 00:11:32,967
Well, at least
he stuck around,
255
00:11:32,969 --> 00:11:34,802
not like your dad,
who just took off.
256
00:11:34,804 --> 00:11:38,105
As you can see, we're
here to cheer you up.
257
00:11:39,175 --> 00:11:40,808
Sorry, Raj.
258
00:11:40,810 --> 00:11:42,510
Do you have any sense of
what happened with your folks?
259
00:11:42,512 --> 00:11:46,480
I think, over time, they started
to resent each other,
260
00:11:46,482 --> 00:11:47,982
and instead of talking
about the things
261
00:11:47,984 --> 00:11:49,950
that bothered them,
they kept it bottled up,
262
00:11:49,952 --> 00:11:51,952
and the hate just grew.
263
00:11:51,954 --> 00:11:54,789
It's a shame they spent
all that time unhappy.
264
00:11:54,791 --> 00:11:56,691
But sometimes,
265
00:11:56,693 --> 00:11:59,326
there's muffin
you can do about it.
266
00:12:01,130 --> 00:12:03,497
You get it, right?
267
00:12:07,236 --> 00:12:09,437
Oh, it's nice
you got him that.
268
00:12:09,439 --> 00:12:11,205
Oh, this isn't
for Leonard, no.
269
00:12:11,207 --> 00:12:13,808
Amy bought it for me.
270
00:12:15,378 --> 00:12:18,946
Stubbed his toe on the
revolving door on the way in.
271
00:12:18,948 --> 00:12:21,716
You know those confounded
things make me dizzy.
272
00:12:21,718 --> 00:12:24,885
Who told you
to keep going around?
273
00:12:24,887 --> 00:12:26,854
There was a large
plant in the lobby.
274
00:12:26,856 --> 00:12:28,823
It kept looking
like the outside.
275
00:12:29,826 --> 00:12:31,492
Okay, listen,
when Leonard comes out,
276
00:12:31,494 --> 00:12:33,060
he is not gonna feel great,
277
00:12:33,062 --> 00:12:35,229
so, please don't
give him a hard time.
278
00:12:35,231 --> 00:12:36,430
Penny has a good point.
279
00:12:36,432 --> 00:12:38,466
This is like the man
in the supermarket
280
00:12:38,468 --> 00:12:40,134
with the goiter on his neck.
281
00:12:40,136 --> 00:12:43,037
Whatever you're thinking,
just keep it to yourself.
282
00:12:43,039 --> 00:12:46,507
It was like a grapefruit.
283
00:12:46,509 --> 00:12:48,342
And I'm sure he knew that
284
00:12:48,344 --> 00:12:51,345
before you held
a grapefruit up next to it.
285
00:12:51,347 --> 00:12:53,114
Well, I'm not
making any promises.
286
00:12:53,116 --> 00:12:56,083
Not only did Leonard take what
I feel is an unnecessary risk,
287
00:12:56,085 --> 00:12:57,318
he deceived me.
288
00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:58,819
Okay, the reason
he deceived you is
289
00:12:58,821 --> 00:13:00,488
you were being
a pain in the ass.
290
00:13:00,490 --> 00:13:02,723
The reason I was being
a pain in the B is
291
00:13:02,725 --> 00:13:04,959
because I was worried about
him, and no one else was.
292
00:13:04,961 --> 00:13:06,727
Really? You won't
even say “A”?
293
00:13:06,729 --> 00:13:08,729
You bet your
sweet B I won't.
294
00:13:08,731 --> 00:13:10,498
Obviously, I care
about Leonard.
295
00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:13,033
I'm gonna spend the rest
of my life with him.
296
00:13:13,035 --> 00:13:14,735
And I'm not?
297
00:13:17,573 --> 00:13:19,039
It's an earthquake.
298
00:13:19,041 --> 00:13:20,274
I knew it.
299
00:13:20,276 --> 00:13:21,976
Sheldon, it was
just a little tremor.
300
00:13:21,978 --> 00:13:24,879
A little tremor that turns
routine sinus surgery
301
00:13:24,881 --> 00:13:27,815
into a frontal
lobotomy.
302
00:13:30,319 --> 00:13:32,720
Oh, I don't care
for this at all.
303
00:13:32,722 --> 00:13:35,422
Oh, I need to
see he's okay.
304
00:13:35,424 --> 00:13:37,224
Sheldon, you can't
go back there.
305
00:13:37,226 --> 00:13:39,026
Try and stop me!
306
00:13:41,097 --> 00:13:42,963
Are you okay?
307
00:13:42,965 --> 00:13:45,099
Why didn't you stop me?!
308
00:13:47,637 --> 00:13:49,470
Can I tell you
something?
309
00:13:49,472 --> 00:13:51,806
This whole thing
with Raj's parents
310
00:13:51,808 --> 00:13:54,341
just got me
a little worried about us.
311
00:13:54,343 --> 00:13:56,944
What are you talking about?
We're fine.
312
00:13:56,946 --> 00:13:57,978
And Raj's parents
313
00:13:57,980 --> 00:14:00,948
probably split up
because of Raj.
314
00:14:00,950 --> 00:14:02,616
What?!
315
00:14:02,618 --> 00:14:05,319
They always say the children
aren't to blame, but...
316
00:14:05,321 --> 00:14:08,222
Come on.
317
00:14:10,660 --> 00:14:12,626
I'm not joking, Howie.
318
00:14:12,628 --> 00:14:14,261
You heard what he said
about his parents.
319
00:14:14,263 --> 00:14:16,463
It was the little things
they kept bottled up.
320
00:14:16,465 --> 00:14:18,933
I don't want that
to happen to us.
321
00:14:18,935 --> 00:14:21,068
How can I convince you it won't?
322
00:14:21,070 --> 00:14:24,672
Well, is there anything about me
you're keeping inside?
323
00:14:24,674 --> 00:14:26,574
I'm not answering that.
324
00:14:26,576 --> 00:14:29,643
It's a trap.
325
00:14:31,013 --> 00:14:33,113
So there are things
you don't like.
326
00:14:33,115 --> 00:14:36,116
And here I am in the trap.
327
00:14:37,620 --> 00:14:39,520
You just keep talking.
328
00:14:39,522 --> 00:14:42,022
I'm gonna chew my leg off.
329
00:14:42,024 --> 00:14:44,225
Just tell me one thing
that bothers you,
330
00:14:44,227 --> 00:14:45,793
and I promise I won't get mad.
331
00:14:45,795 --> 00:14:48,963
Okay. The truth is...
332
00:14:48,965 --> 00:14:51,098
sometimes... you're too...
333
00:14:51,100 --> 00:14:53,100
beautiful.
334
00:14:53,102 --> 00:14:54,702
Oh.
335
00:14:54,704 --> 00:14:57,137
Howie, be serious.
336
00:14:57,139 --> 00:14:59,106
Okay, okay.
337
00:14:59,108 --> 00:15:01,375
I really don't like
338
00:15:01,377 --> 00:15:03,611
how your wings poke me
when we sleep
339
00:15:03,613 --> 00:15:06,447
'cause you're an angel.
340
00:15:07,984 --> 00:15:10,117
Okay, fine,
maybe it was a bad idea.
341
00:15:10,119 --> 00:15:12,853
I just don't think the secret
to a happy marriage
342
00:15:12,855 --> 00:15:15,389
is going out of our way
to criticize each other.
343
00:15:15,391 --> 00:15:18,692
Although, there are ways
to improve our communication.
344
00:15:18,694 --> 00:15:21,629
One thing I learned when
I was in couples therapy was...
345
00:15:21,631 --> 00:15:22,863
Who were you
346
00:15:22,865 --> 00:15:24,031
in couples therapy with?
347
00:15:24,033 --> 00:15:26,200
Not important.
348
00:15:26,202 --> 00:15:28,435
Was it your mom?
349
00:15:28,437 --> 00:15:30,037
Not important.
350
00:15:30,039 --> 00:15:32,573
It was your mom.
351
00:15:32,575 --> 00:15:35,809
Anyway, the therapist had us
tell each other
352
00:15:35,811 --> 00:15:38,479
what we loved about one another.
353
00:15:38,481 --> 00:15:40,214
Oh, that's so sweet!
354
00:15:40,216 --> 00:15:41,882
I want to do that.
355
00:15:41,884 --> 00:15:43,217
All right.
356
00:15:43,219 --> 00:15:45,152
Okay, um...
357
00:15:45,154 --> 00:15:48,155
I love that you make me laugh.
358
00:15:48,157 --> 00:15:49,890
Thank you.
359
00:15:49,892 --> 00:15:54,728
And I love that you're strong
and independent.
360
00:15:54,730 --> 00:15:57,798
And yet, I still love
when you hold a door for me.
361
00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:01,702
I love that I'm kind of a slob
around here, and...
362
00:16:01,704 --> 00:16:03,938
you're okay with that.
363
00:16:06,742 --> 00:16:08,943
Uh-huh.
364
00:16:10,212 --> 00:16:13,147
And I love that I work
and do all the cleaning,
365
00:16:13,149 --> 00:16:15,516
and you're okay with that.
366
00:16:15,518 --> 00:16:17,985
See, I am.
367
00:16:17,987 --> 00:16:20,054
Isn't this great?
368
00:16:23,092 --> 00:16:24,425
Come on, smile.
369
00:16:24,427 --> 00:16:26,393
This is gonna be
my Christmas card.
370
00:16:31,300 --> 00:16:34,668
You know this is
all your fault.
371
00:16:34,670 --> 00:16:38,172
How is it my fault?
372
00:16:38,174 --> 00:16:40,107
I told you not to
get the surgery.
373
00:16:40,109 --> 00:16:43,544
Okay, first of all,
the surgery was a success,
374
00:16:43,546 --> 00:16:45,980
and secondly,
I didn't even want you there.
375
00:16:45,982 --> 00:16:49,683
Wow. I don't know
which hurts worse--
376
00:16:49,685 --> 00:16:51,852
my nose or my heart.
377
00:16:52,989 --> 00:16:54,355
Well, I'm done
speaking to you.
378
00:16:54,357 --> 00:16:55,489
Don't be like that.
379
00:16:55,491 --> 00:16:57,491
You two need to
talk this out.
380
00:16:57,493 --> 00:16:59,827
Yeah, 'cause
you sound really funny.
381
00:17:02,231 --> 00:17:04,898
Sheldon, I'm sorry I didn't
tell you about the surgery,
382
00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:06,934
but you were worried
about nothing.
383
00:17:06,936 --> 00:17:09,169
Oh, you're hardly
out of the woods, no.
384
00:17:09,171 --> 00:17:12,006
You still run the risk of
infection, a blood clot,
385
00:17:12,008 --> 00:17:14,375
the possibility that
an inattentive surgeon
386
00:17:14,377 --> 00:17:17,311
let a barn spider
lay eggs in your nose.
387
00:17:19,181 --> 00:17:21,949
The minute you sneeze web,
I'm moving out.
388
00:17:21,951 --> 00:17:24,451
I never thought
I'd say these words,
389
00:17:24,453 --> 00:17:26,653
but come on, nose spider!
390
00:17:28,357 --> 00:17:29,289
Who are you kidding?
391
00:17:29,291 --> 00:17:30,491
You were so panicked
392
00:17:30,493 --> 00:17:32,226
Leonard was gonna die,
you'll never leave him.
393
00:17:32,228 --> 00:17:34,261
Sheldon will move out
eventually.
394
00:17:34,263 --> 00:17:36,730
Yeah, once he figures out
how to work a door.
395
00:17:37,933 --> 00:17:41,769
I was not panicked, and I am
not overly attached to Leonard.
396
00:17:41,771 --> 00:17:43,937
You were so worried
that you smashed your face
397
00:17:43,939 --> 00:17:45,105
trying to check on me.
398
00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:46,573
You love me.
399
00:17:47,777 --> 00:17:49,076
Yeah. Tell me
400
00:17:49,078 --> 00:17:50,577
those aren't the
words of a man
401
00:17:50,579 --> 00:17:52,613
with a spider eating its
way through his brain.
402
00:17:52,615 --> 00:17:55,416
Amy, you're a neuroscientist.
403
00:17:55,418 --> 00:17:58,085
Crack his skull open,
spray some Raid in there.
404
00:18:00,756 --> 00:18:03,023
I love that you take pride
in your looks,
405
00:18:03,025 --> 00:18:04,024
even when I have
406
00:18:04,026 --> 00:18:05,325
to pee in the morning,
407
00:18:05,327 --> 00:18:08,128
and you're in there
spending an hour on your hair.
408
00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:12,566
I love that you're too good
to pee in the kitchen sink.
409
00:18:12,568 --> 00:18:15,169
I love
that you have the confidence
410
00:18:15,171 --> 00:18:19,206
to speak, even without giving it
an ounce of thought.
411
00:18:20,176 --> 00:18:22,810
And I love how your hair
is always on the soap.
412
00:18:22,812 --> 00:18:25,379
It's like washing myself
with a hamster.
413
00:18:26,916 --> 00:18:29,917
Hey, guys.
Sorry I am so late.
414
00:18:29,919 --> 00:18:32,953
I was on the phone
with my mother.
415
00:18:32,955 --> 00:18:33,987
Oh, how is she?
416
00:18:33,989 --> 00:18:35,122
Pretty good.
417
00:18:35,124 --> 00:18:37,157
She bought the book
Eat, Pray, Love
418
00:18:37,159 --> 00:18:40,494
and used it to set my father's
Mercedes on fire.
419
00:18:42,164 --> 00:18:45,599
So, what's up with you guys?
420
00:18:45,601 --> 00:18:48,469
We're just saying all the things
we love about each other.
421
00:18:48,471 --> 00:18:51,405
Oh, like you and I
did at couples therapy.
422
00:19:04,015 --> 00:19:05,214
Ooh, what'd you get?
423
00:19:05,216 --> 00:19:07,449
Oh, I ordered it
before your surgery.
424
00:19:07,451 --> 00:19:11,086
It's the urn I was going
to put you in.
425
00:19:12,123 --> 00:19:13,422
Okay, that's morbid.
426
00:19:13,424 --> 00:19:14,690
Send it back.
427
00:19:14,692 --> 00:19:19,161
I can't send it back--
I had it engraved.
428
00:19:19,163 --> 00:19:22,765
“Here lie the ashes
of Leonard Hofstadter.
429
00:19:22,767 --> 00:19:27,202
He thought he was right,
but his roommate knew better."
430
00:19:28,972 --> 00:19:30,506
That's funny.
431
00:19:30,508 --> 00:19:32,508
Boy, I'm gonna miss
these painkillers.
432
00:19:33,910 --> 00:19:35,811
Hey, why did you get two?
433
00:19:35,813 --> 00:19:38,814
"I'm with stupid."
Oh, that one's mine.
434
00:19:38,816 --> 00:19:45,316
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man