1
00:00:02,574 --> 00:00:04,875
I just read about
an experiment designed
2
00:00:04,877 --> 00:00:06,209
to see if you could
make two people fall
3
00:00:06,211 --> 00:00:08,145
in love in a matter of hours.
4
00:00:08,147 --> 00:00:09,713
That doesn't sound right.
5
00:00:09,715 --> 00:00:11,982
My research has shown that
it takes three to five years
6
00:00:11,984 --> 00:00:14,584
of shameless begging.
7
00:00:14,586 --> 00:00:17,621
Honey, neither of us comes off
good in that story.
8
00:00:17,623 --> 00:00:18,956
Yeah, I-I...
9
00:00:18,958 --> 00:00:21,158
I saw that article
you're talking about.
10
00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:23,193
Uh, the participants
ask each other a series
11
00:00:23,195 --> 00:00:25,829
of questions designed
to promote intimacy.
12
00:00:25,831 --> 00:00:27,197
And then they finish it off
by staring
13
00:00:27,199 --> 00:00:28,999
into each other's eyes
for four minutes.
14
00:00:29,001 --> 00:00:30,434
Oh, that's nonsense.
15
00:00:30,436 --> 00:00:32,569
I proclaimed my
love for you.
16
00:00:32,571 --> 00:00:34,171
And the last time I
looked into your eyes
17
00:00:34,173 --> 00:00:37,174
was when you thought
you had conjunctivitis.
18
00:00:37,176 --> 00:00:39,443
Other than the fact
that I had it,
19
00:00:39,445 --> 00:00:41,244
that was a magical night.
20
00:00:42,414 --> 00:00:45,148
Raj, would you ever try an
experiment like that with Emily?
21
00:00:45,150 --> 00:00:47,484
What? I don't need
science to win her heart.
22
00:00:47,486 --> 00:00:50,387
I have my family's
wealth for that.
23
00:00:50,389 --> 00:00:52,723
I'm telling you, you can't
create love in a few hours.
24
00:00:52,725 --> 00:00:54,424
Right?
Oh, careful.
25
00:00:54,426 --> 00:00:57,194
You're poking at the whole
foundation of The Bachelor.
26
00:00:57,196 --> 00:00:58,562
Yeah, but
27
00:00:58,564 --> 00:01:00,464
we don't have to debate this.
28
00:01:00,466 --> 00:01:01,732
We're scientists.
29
00:01:01,734 --> 00:01:03,867
We can conduct our own research.
30
00:01:03,869 --> 00:01:05,802
Yeah, I propose that we imprison
31
00:01:05,804 --> 00:01:07,104
two street people.
No.
32
00:01:07,106 --> 00:01:09,673
And...
33
00:01:09,675 --> 00:01:11,008
You didn't even let me finish.
34
00:01:11,010 --> 00:01:12,909
Forget it!
Oh!
35
00:01:12,911 --> 00:01:15,245
So, you can experiment
on all the apes you want.
36
00:01:15,247 --> 00:01:17,848
But I want to manipulate
the emotions of two captive
37
00:01:17,850 --> 00:01:20,817
human beings, suddenly
I'm the monster.
38
00:01:20,819 --> 00:01:22,486
Why don't you
39
00:01:22,488 --> 00:01:24,454
just do the test?
40
00:01:24,456 --> 00:01:27,591
In the interest of science,
I'd be willing to.
41
00:01:27,593 --> 00:01:29,192
What? You're okay with
an experiment where you have
42
00:01:29,194 --> 00:01:32,562
to answer awkward questions
about your innermost feelings?
43
00:01:32,564 --> 00:01:33,830
Yes.
44
00:01:33,832 --> 00:01:35,966
Please, can I do it
with him? Please?!
45
00:01:37,403 --> 00:01:39,636
I've been listening
to Sheldon's feelings on things
46
00:01:39,638 --> 00:01:42,172
for ten years.
Tag, you're it.
47
00:01:42,174 --> 00:01:44,841
Yeah, but what
if the experiment works?
48
00:01:44,843 --> 00:01:46,610
I'm not gonna fall
in love with Sheldon.
49
00:01:46,612 --> 00:01:47,677
That's what I said.
50
00:01:47,679 --> 00:01:49,246
Before I knew it,
he pontificated his way
51
00:01:49,248 --> 00:01:51,281
right into my heart.
52
00:01:51,283 --> 00:01:54,017
Uh, fun fact--
"pontificate"
53
00:01:54,019 --> 00:01:56,119
comes from the Latin
word "pontifex,"
54
00:01:56,121 --> 00:01:58,388
which means "bridge
builder" or "Pope."
55
00:02:00,059 --> 00:02:02,993
In love yet?
56
00:02:04,096 --> 00:02:07,731
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
57
00:02:07,733 --> 00:02:11,068
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
58
00:02:11,070 --> 00:02:12,702
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
59
00:02:12,704 --> 00:02:15,272
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
60
00:02:15,274 --> 00:02:17,908
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
61
00:02:17,910 --> 00:02:20,577
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
62
00:02:20,579 --> 00:02:22,479
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
63
00:02:22,481 --> 00:02:24,448
♪ Bang! ♪
64
00:02:24,472 --> 00:02:28,472
♪ The Big Bang Theory 8x16 ♪
The Intimacy Acceleration
Original Air Date on February 2
65
00:02:28,473 --> 00:02:33,473
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
66
00:02:33,709 --> 00:02:35,895
Just out of curiosity, Penny,
67
00:02:35,895 --> 00:02:39,129
if this experiment does
make us fall in love,
68
00:02:39,130 --> 00:02:42,431
would you drive me
to Lake Geneva, Wisconsin
69
00:02:42,433 --> 00:02:45,301
for Gary Con?
70
00:02:45,303 --> 00:02:47,103
It's the only convention
celebrating
71
00:02:47,105 --> 00:02:49,472
the life and work of Gary Gygax,
72
00:02:49,474 --> 00:02:52,675
the co-creator
of Dungeons and Dragons.
73
00:02:52,677 --> 00:02:54,377
You know what?
74
00:02:54,379 --> 00:02:56,145
I can honestly say
if we fall in love,
75
00:02:56,147 --> 00:02:58,147
not only will I drive you there,
I will buy you
76
00:02:58,149 --> 00:03:00,349
all the dragon T-shirts
you want.
77
00:03:02,220 --> 00:03:04,453
Okay, babe, let's do this.
78
00:03:07,358 --> 00:03:09,625
You guys are
really being calm
79
00:03:09,627 --> 00:03:11,761
about Penny and Sheldon
doing this thing.
80
00:03:11,763 --> 00:03:12,895
If it were me,
81
00:03:12,897 --> 00:03:14,263
I-I'd be a little nervous.
82
00:03:14,265 --> 00:03:15,398
Why?
Well,
83
00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:16,599
even if the study's nonsense,
84
00:03:16,601 --> 00:03:19,235
I-I don't believe
in tempting fate.
85
00:03:19,237 --> 00:03:21,304
Same reason I wouldn't
use a Ouija board,
86
00:03:21,306 --> 00:03:23,906
or pick a fight
with an Asian guy.
87
00:03:23,908 --> 00:03:27,009
He probably doesn't know karate,
but... why risk it?
88
00:03:27,011 --> 00:03:29,345
I think we're safe.
89
00:03:29,347 --> 00:03:30,580
Well, that's what the bullies
90
00:03:30,582 --> 00:03:31,881
at Bruce Lee's
high school thought.
91
00:03:31,883 --> 00:03:33,015
And then, bam!
92
00:03:33,017 --> 00:03:34,984
Karate.
93
00:03:34,986 --> 00:03:36,719
Well,
are we just gonna
94
00:03:36,721 --> 00:03:38,721
sit here while they do
the experiment?
95
00:03:38,723 --> 00:03:40,256
The two of us could do it.
96
00:03:40,258 --> 00:03:41,924
Yeah, sure, that might be fun.
97
00:03:41,926 --> 00:03:42,892
What's the first question?
98
00:03:42,894 --> 00:03:44,260
Hang on.
99
00:03:44,262 --> 00:03:45,494
Okay.
100
00:03:45,496 --> 00:03:49,232
"Given the choice
of anyone in the world,
101
00:03:49,234 --> 00:03:52,602
whom would you want
as a dinner guest?"
102
00:03:52,604 --> 00:03:53,936
Hmm.
103
00:03:53,938 --> 00:03:56,606
I can honestly say Penny.
104
00:03:56,608 --> 00:03:59,408
Oh... then I choose a janitor.
105
00:03:59,410 --> 00:04:01,944
'Cause I'm about to throw up.
106
00:04:03,381 --> 00:04:04,547
I'm in love.
107
00:04:04,549 --> 00:04:07,183
Let's do something else.
108
00:04:07,185 --> 00:04:09,418
Ooh, uh, Emily
gets off work soon.
109
00:04:09,420 --> 00:04:11,187
Why don't the four of us go out?
110
00:04:11,189 --> 00:04:12,221
Okay.
Sounds good.
111
00:04:12,223 --> 00:04:13,522
Should we call
Howard and Bernadette?
112
00:04:13,524 --> 00:04:15,057
I don't know what time
their plane gets in,
113
00:04:15,059 --> 00:04:16,993
but let me, let me
shoot them a text.
114
00:04:16,995 --> 00:04:19,195
Did he say anything
about the funeral?
115
00:04:19,197 --> 00:04:22,732
Not much, but he seemed to
be in a pretty good place.
116
00:04:22,734 --> 00:04:24,066
Are you kidding me?!
117
00:04:24,068 --> 00:04:26,902
You lost my mother's ashes?!
118
00:04:26,904 --> 00:04:29,205
No, I-I'm just saying
that sometimes
119
00:04:29,207 --> 00:04:30,740
bags are misrouted.
120
00:04:30,742 --> 00:04:32,675
All right, fine.
Where did you misroute
121
00:04:32,677 --> 00:04:34,477
the only woman
who ever loved me?
122
00:04:34,479 --> 00:04:37,613
The first... well,
first, I meant first.
123
00:04:37,615 --> 00:04:40,116
I just need some information.
124
00:04:40,118 --> 00:04:42,084
Uh, what's the flight number?
125
00:04:42,086 --> 00:04:43,352
816.
126
00:04:43,354 --> 00:04:44,987
I really did mean first.
127
00:04:44,989 --> 00:04:47,390
Just drop it.
128
00:04:47,392 --> 00:04:48,924
And can you describe the bag?
129
00:04:48,926 --> 00:04:50,259
Um, well,
130
00:04:50,261 --> 00:04:51,327
it's, uh, black.
131
00:04:51,329 --> 00:04:52,628
There's a red ribbon
tied to the handle...
132
00:04:52,630 --> 00:04:55,097
The world's greatest mom
is in the shoe compartment!
133
00:04:57,101 --> 00:04:58,234
You ready to begin?
134
00:04:58,236 --> 00:04:59,769
Yup. Be right there.
135
00:04:59,771 --> 00:05:01,404
I assume you don't want wine.
136
00:05:01,406 --> 00:05:03,439
Correct. You're not
supposed to drink alcohol
137
00:05:03,441 --> 00:05:05,941
when operating heavy machinery.
138
00:05:05,943 --> 00:05:07,843
What heavy machinery?
139
00:05:11,783 --> 00:05:13,182
Let's just start.
140
00:05:13,184 --> 00:05:15,418
Well, as a Texas gentleman,
141
00:05:15,420 --> 00:05:17,453
I'm inclined to
say ladies first.
142
00:05:17,455 --> 00:05:20,356
Although, I'm concerned that
level of politeness and charm
143
00:05:20,358 --> 00:05:23,793
might make you fall in love with
me before the test even begins.
144
00:05:23,795 --> 00:05:25,761
Perhaps we should flip a coin.
145
00:05:25,763 --> 00:05:27,563
Or if you're familiar
with the rules
146
00:05:27,565 --> 00:05:28,964
of Rock, Paper, Scissors...
147
00:05:28,966 --> 00:05:30,232
Question one.
148
00:05:30,234 --> 00:05:32,201
"Given the choice
149
00:05:32,203 --> 00:05:33,769
"of anyone in the world,
whom would you want
150
00:05:33,771 --> 00:05:35,438
as a dinner guest?"
151
00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:36,772
Hmm.
152
00:05:36,774 --> 00:05:38,007
Living or dead?
153
00:05:38,009 --> 00:05:39,942
Just says "anyone in the world."
154
00:05:39,944 --> 00:05:41,210
I guess that means living.
155
00:05:41,212 --> 00:05:42,311
Ah, that's just as well.
156
00:05:42,313 --> 00:05:44,313
As much as I'd love
to meet Euclid--
157
00:05:44,315 --> 00:05:46,048
inventor of the
geometric proof--
158
00:05:46,050 --> 00:05:47,650
he probably wore
sandals and I cannot
159
00:05:47,652 --> 00:05:50,052
look at toes during dinner.
160
00:05:51,656 --> 00:05:53,322
Oh, I know!
161
00:05:53,324 --> 00:05:55,057
The person I'd most
like to have dinner with
162
00:05:55,059 --> 00:05:58,427
is myself.
163
00:05:58,429 --> 00:05:59,895
You sure that's your choice?
164
00:05:59,897 --> 00:06:02,031
'Cause I've had that dinner.
165
00:06:02,033 --> 00:06:03,466
Well, I haven't.
166
00:06:03,468 --> 00:06:05,368
And while they say
never meet your heroes,
167
00:06:05,370 --> 00:06:07,303
I just don't see how
I could disappoint.
168
00:06:07,305 --> 00:06:09,538
Who would you choose?
169
00:06:09,540 --> 00:06:11,741
Robert Downey, Jr.
You...
170
00:06:11,743 --> 00:06:12,908
Oh!
171
00:06:12,910 --> 00:06:15,911
I didn't think of Iron Man.
172
00:06:16,981 --> 00:06:19,048
You know, maybe after
myself and I have dinner,
173
00:06:19,050 --> 00:06:21,417
we can meet you two for dessert.
174
00:06:23,855 --> 00:06:26,088
So, what do you
guys want to do?
175
00:06:26,090 --> 00:06:28,124
Well, we're the ones
tagging along, you pick.
176
00:06:28,126 --> 00:06:29,191
Ooh!
177
00:06:29,193 --> 00:06:31,193
Have you ever been
to an escape room?
178
00:06:31,195 --> 00:06:32,795
Mm-mm, what's that?
Um...
179
00:06:32,797 --> 00:06:34,296
it's kind of like
interactive theater,
180
00:06:34,298 --> 00:06:35,698
except you have
to solve puzzles
181
00:06:35,700 --> 00:06:37,466
in a certain amount
of time to get out.
182
00:06:37,468 --> 00:06:38,734
There's one downtown
where they
183
00:06:38,736 --> 00:06:40,302
trap you in a room
with a zombie.
184
00:06:40,304 --> 00:06:42,304
Oh!
185
00:06:42,306 --> 00:06:44,607
So, kind of like what's
happening with Penny right now.
186
00:06:48,179 --> 00:06:49,712
"What would constitute
187
00:06:49,714 --> 00:06:52,248
a perfect day for you?"
188
00:06:52,250 --> 00:06:53,983
Uh, well...
189
00:06:53,985 --> 00:06:57,453
I'd probably sleep in,
do a little yoga,
190
00:06:57,455 --> 00:06:59,455
then lie on the beach while
191
00:06:59,457 --> 00:07:02,191
cute cabana boys
brought me drinks and...
192
00:07:02,193 --> 00:07:04,293
probably get a massage
and then cap off the night
193
00:07:04,295 --> 00:07:06,295
with some dancing.
194
00:07:06,297 --> 00:07:08,564
That's it?
Yeah, why?
195
00:07:08,566 --> 00:07:10,433
You didn't mention Leonard.
196
00:07:12,470 --> 00:07:14,904
He's there.
197
00:07:14,906 --> 00:07:17,339
I don't think so.
198
00:07:17,341 --> 00:07:18,607
Leonard can't stand
199
00:07:18,609 --> 00:07:22,111
yoga, the beach,
massages or dancing.
200
00:07:22,113 --> 00:07:23,179
Yeah, well,
he brought a book, okay?
201
00:07:23,181 --> 00:07:25,414
What's yours?
Yeah...
202
00:07:25,416 --> 00:07:28,417
Uh, I wake up.
203
00:07:28,419 --> 00:07:31,587
Uh, I enjoy some French
toast with butter and syrup.
204
00:07:31,589 --> 00:07:34,657
Uh, then a wormhole opens,
205
00:07:34,659 --> 00:07:38,160
and whisks me millions of years
206
00:07:38,162 --> 00:07:40,796
into the future where
my towering intellect
207
00:07:40,798 --> 00:07:44,300
is used to save the last
remnants of mankind
208
00:07:44,302 --> 00:07:46,802
from a predatory alien race.
209
00:07:48,606 --> 00:07:51,240
Interesting,
you didn't mention Amy.
210
00:07:52,443 --> 00:07:55,911
Who do you think made the French
toast with butter and syrup?
211
00:07:57,148 --> 00:07:58,547
You're about to enter the lab
212
00:07:58,549 --> 00:08:00,916
of the late Dr. David Saltzberg.
213
00:08:00,918 --> 00:08:02,751
While conducting studies
on slowing
214
00:08:02,753 --> 00:08:05,621
the aging process, there was
a catastrophic accident
215
00:08:05,623 --> 00:08:07,456
and he died.
216
00:08:08,526 --> 00:08:10,860
Or did he?
217
00:08:10,862 --> 00:08:13,229
Ladies?
218
00:08:13,231 --> 00:08:14,930
Are you being polite or scared?
219
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,100
Yup.
220
00:08:20,304 --> 00:08:22,605
Ah, what a room!
221
00:08:22,607 --> 00:08:24,874
Oh-oh!
Oh!
222
00:08:26,911 --> 00:08:28,444
This is cool.
223
00:08:28,446 --> 00:08:29,845
So, how do we start?
224
00:08:29,847 --> 00:08:32,248
We have to look for the clues
hidden around the room.
225
00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:33,716
Uh, wasn't there
supposed to be a zombie?
226
00:08:35,853 --> 00:08:37,219
Ooh!
227
00:08:38,389 --> 00:08:40,222
Okay, let's hope
one of the clues
228
00:08:40,224 --> 00:08:42,558
is written on a pair
of clean underwear.
229
00:08:44,896 --> 00:08:46,328
Mr. and Mrs. Wolowitz?
230
00:08:46,330 --> 00:08:49,565
As far as I can tell,
your bag arrived in Los Angeles.
231
00:08:49,567 --> 00:08:51,166
So, where is it?
232
00:08:51,168 --> 00:08:52,868
I don't know, perhaps somebody
233
00:08:52,870 --> 00:08:54,803
took it off the carousel
by mistake?
234
00:08:54,805 --> 00:08:58,040
So, some stranger has my mom?
235
00:08:58,042 --> 00:08:59,842
Is that what you're telling me?
236
00:08:59,844 --> 00:09:03,612
My poor mother can be anywhere
in Los Angeles right now?
237
00:09:03,614 --> 00:09:06,215
I-I wish I was telling you that.
238
00:09:06,217 --> 00:09:07,650
Um...
239
00:09:07,652 --> 00:09:08,817
but the passenger
could've gotten
240
00:09:08,819 --> 00:09:10,719
on an international flight.
241
00:09:10,721 --> 00:09:12,788
Oh, okay, great!
242
00:09:12,790 --> 00:09:15,357
So, your entire job is
to find lost luggage,
243
00:09:15,359 --> 00:09:16,892
and you've narrowed
down the location
244
00:09:16,894 --> 00:09:20,162
of my mother to
the planet Earth!
245
00:09:20,164 --> 00:09:21,497
I'm sorry!
246
00:09:21,499 --> 00:09:23,933
W-Would 500
frequent-flyer miles help?
247
00:09:23,935 --> 00:09:26,335
That could get you
to Sacramento.
248
00:09:29,140 --> 00:09:31,307
"If you could
wake up tomorrow
249
00:09:31,309 --> 00:09:34,643
"having gained any
one quality or ability,
250
00:09:34,645 --> 00:09:36,111
what would it be?"
251
00:09:36,113 --> 00:09:38,614
Well, not to steal
from the Bible,
252
00:09:38,616 --> 00:09:42,384
but turning water into wine
sounds pretty good.
253
00:09:45,156 --> 00:09:48,424
I don't think you're
taking this seriously.
254
00:09:48,426 --> 00:09:50,092
Come on, I'm just having
some fun with you.
255
00:09:50,094 --> 00:09:51,226
I believe
256
00:09:51,228 --> 00:09:53,329
what you're doing is using humor
257
00:09:53,331 --> 00:09:55,397
to avoid vulnerability.
258
00:09:55,399 --> 00:09:57,566
Fine.
259
00:09:59,103 --> 00:10:00,202
Honestly...
260
00:10:00,204 --> 00:10:03,038
if I could have one quality...
261
00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:06,809
I wish I could be
as smart as you guys.
262
00:10:06,811 --> 00:10:10,145
Ha! Keep dreaming.
263
00:10:10,147 --> 00:10:11,747
Sheldon!
264
00:10:11,749 --> 00:10:12,815
I'm sorry.
265
00:10:12,817 --> 00:10:14,617
That was me having
fun with you.
266
00:10:14,619 --> 00:10:16,185
Look.
267
00:10:16,187 --> 00:10:18,354
You may not be as...
268
00:10:18,356 --> 00:10:21,657
academically inclined as are we.
269
00:10:21,659 --> 00:10:23,826
Yes, that's how you say it.
270
00:10:23,828 --> 00:10:25,761
But...
271
00:10:25,763 --> 00:10:29,598
You possess an
intelligence I envy.
272
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:32,034
Which leads me to my answer.
273
00:10:32,036 --> 00:10:33,769
I would choose the ability
274
00:10:33,771 --> 00:10:36,338
to read people's minds.
275
00:10:36,340 --> 00:10:39,575
Well, I can't read
people's minds.
276
00:10:39,577 --> 00:10:41,043
Actually, that's not true.
277
00:10:41,045 --> 00:10:42,378
I can read men's minds.
278
00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:44,847
But only 'cause it's
usually the one thing.
279
00:10:45,683 --> 00:10:49,251
When are we going
to get robot eyes?
280
00:10:49,253 --> 00:10:52,955
You're all alike.
281
00:10:52,957 --> 00:10:55,324
Well, what I meant was...
282
00:10:55,326 --> 00:10:57,693
I often misinterpret
283
00:10:57,695 --> 00:10:59,395
how others are feeling.
284
00:10:59,397 --> 00:11:02,331
Like, I can't always tell
if someone is only joking
285
00:11:02,333 --> 00:11:04,333
or laughing at me.
286
00:11:04,335 --> 00:11:06,769
You know, like, uh, if they're
mad at something I've done
287
00:11:06,771 --> 00:11:08,737
or just in a bad mood.
288
00:11:08,739 --> 00:11:10,639
It-it's incredibly stressful.
289
00:11:10,641 --> 00:11:13,509
Really? You always
seem so confident.
290
00:11:13,511 --> 00:11:14,743
Well, I'm not.
291
00:11:14,745 --> 00:11:16,578
And if I could read
people's minds,
292
00:11:16,580 --> 00:11:19,815
life would be so much simpler.
293
00:11:19,817 --> 00:11:22,751
Well, now I wish I had
294
00:11:22,753 --> 00:11:25,554
the ability to make
that stuff easier for you.
295
00:11:27,692 --> 00:11:28,757
Thank you.
296
00:11:31,429 --> 00:11:34,396
Wow, I just felt this wave
297
00:11:34,398 --> 00:11:37,966
of affection for you.
298
00:11:37,968 --> 00:11:41,637
You sure it's not
too much Bible juice?
299
00:11:43,974 --> 00:11:46,308
And the wave is gone.
300
00:11:54,245 --> 00:11:55,445
Brains!
301
00:11:55,447 --> 00:11:59,015
Keep it down!
We're working here.
302
00:11:59,017 --> 00:12:00,450
Okay, we've got
the cipher decoded!
303
00:12:00,452 --> 00:12:01,651
How's it going
with the globe?
304
00:12:01,653 --> 00:12:03,619
We used the coordinates
to locate the cities.
305
00:12:03,621 --> 00:12:05,188
I'm putting the city names
in the grid now.
306
00:12:05,190 --> 00:12:06,956
I'm sure that'll give us
the code to the safe.
307
00:12:06,958 --> 00:12:08,624
Solve puzzle too fast!
308
00:12:08,626 --> 00:12:10,226
Slow down!
309
00:12:11,029 --> 00:12:11,828
Yup! Got the code.
310
00:12:11,830 --> 00:12:13,463
Just saying...
311
00:12:13,465 --> 00:12:16,632
no refund for finish early!
312
00:12:20,438 --> 00:12:22,572
Sure you don't want to go home?
313
00:12:22,574 --> 00:12:25,141
When the bag's returned,
they'll deliver it to us.
314
00:12:25,143 --> 00:12:28,111
No, I'm not leaving without her.
315
00:12:28,113 --> 00:12:30,279
All right, we'll wait.
316
00:12:33,885 --> 00:12:35,818
I could've driven her.
317
00:12:35,820 --> 00:12:37,487
What?
318
00:12:37,489 --> 00:12:40,757
The day she left for Florida.
319
00:12:40,759 --> 00:12:43,726
She asked me to drive her
to the airport.
320
00:12:45,897 --> 00:12:47,964
I-I was too busy.
321
00:12:47,966 --> 00:12:49,665
And...
322
00:12:49,667 --> 00:12:53,369
I made her take a cab.
323
00:12:55,006 --> 00:12:57,707
I was too busy.
324
00:12:57,709 --> 00:13:00,543
There's no way
you could've known.
325
00:13:02,714 --> 00:13:04,347
Be right back.
326
00:13:07,185 --> 00:13:09,118
Excuse me?
327
00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:10,520
Yes?
328
00:13:11,956 --> 00:13:13,856
You better find
my husband's mother
329
00:13:13,858 --> 00:13:15,224
'cause one way or another,
330
00:13:15,226 --> 00:13:18,694
we're walking out of this
airport with a dead woman!
331
00:13:23,434 --> 00:13:25,368
Which book are we looking for?
Uh...
332
00:13:25,370 --> 00:13:27,136
Origin of Species.
333
00:13:27,138 --> 00:13:29,338
Here it is.
334
00:13:29,340 --> 00:13:30,373
There's a black light.
335
00:13:30,375 --> 00:13:32,675
Oh, hang on.
336
00:13:33,812 --> 00:13:35,578
Oh, okay.
337
00:13:35,580 --> 00:13:37,113
Uh, "Brothers and sisters
338
00:13:37,115 --> 00:13:38,781
"I have none,
but this man's father
339
00:13:38,783 --> 00:13:42,151
is my father's son.
Who am I looking at?"
340
00:13:44,656 --> 00:13:47,023
Yeah, yeah, we get it--
you want brains. Calm down.
341
00:13:47,025 --> 00:13:48,991
Well, if I don't have a brother,
342
00:13:48,993 --> 00:13:51,561
my father's son is me.
343
00:13:51,563 --> 00:13:54,096
And if I'm this man's father,
then he's my son.
344
00:13:54,098 --> 00:13:55,398
The answer's "son."
345
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:56,632
Ooh! There's a picture
of the sun over there.
346
00:13:56,634 --> 00:13:58,234
I bet the key's behind it.
347
00:13:58,236 --> 00:14:01,037
Could be somewhere else!
348
00:14:01,039 --> 00:14:02,405
Oh, got the key!
349
00:14:02,407 --> 00:14:04,140
So, that's the key to the door?
350
00:14:04,142 --> 00:14:05,274
That's it?
351
00:14:05,276 --> 00:14:08,411
We spent $200
on six minutes of fun?
352
00:14:08,413 --> 00:14:10,746
It's like when you bought that
remote-controlled helicopter,
353
00:14:10,748 --> 00:14:13,516
and it just... flew away.
354
00:14:15,119 --> 00:14:18,154
Sorry, guys. Really thought
the puzzles would be better.
355
00:14:18,156 --> 00:14:21,524
Well, to be fair, we do all
have advanced degrees.
356
00:14:21,526 --> 00:14:25,394
Remember that
before you post on Yelp!
357
00:14:27,599 --> 00:14:30,433
"If you were to die this evening
with no opportunity
358
00:14:30,435 --> 00:14:31,968
"to communicate with anyone,
359
00:14:31,970 --> 00:14:34,904
what would you most regret
not having told someone?"
360
00:14:34,906 --> 00:14:37,673
So, it would be today?
361
00:14:37,675 --> 00:14:39,675
Huh.
362
00:14:39,677 --> 00:14:41,677
Well, I suppose there's
something satisfying
363
00:14:41,679 --> 00:14:44,480
about dying on my birthday.
364
00:14:44,482 --> 00:14:46,816
Today's your birthday?
365
00:14:46,818 --> 00:14:47,950
Yes.
366
00:14:47,952 --> 00:14:49,986
Well, that's
always been a secret!
367
00:14:49,988 --> 00:14:51,954
Not even Amy knows!
368
00:14:51,956 --> 00:14:55,825
Well, I don't enjoy presents.
369
00:14:55,827 --> 00:14:57,293
And the thought of people
370
00:14:57,295 --> 00:14:59,729
jumping out and yelling
"Surprise!" fills me
371
00:14:59,731 --> 00:15:01,797
with more dread than the words
372
00:15:01,799 --> 00:15:04,834
"George Lucas Director's Cut."
373
00:15:04,836 --> 00:15:07,169
So, why did you finally tell me?
374
00:15:07,171 --> 00:15:10,006
The point of the experiment is
375
00:15:10,008 --> 00:15:12,308
to be completely honest
with each other.
376
00:15:12,310 --> 00:15:15,278
Well, thank you
for sharing it with me.
377
00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:17,113
I won't tell anyone.
378
00:15:17,115 --> 00:15:19,015
Thank you.
379
00:15:19,017 --> 00:15:20,149
That is so funny.
380
00:15:20,151 --> 00:15:22,418
I never would have
pegged you for a Pisces.
381
00:15:22,420 --> 00:15:25,521
You're making it difficult
to love you right now.
382
00:15:28,159 --> 00:15:30,259
Great news!
Your bag was returned.
383
00:15:30,261 --> 00:15:32,028
Oh, thank God!
384
00:15:32,030 --> 00:15:33,729
It's okay, she's here!
385
00:15:33,731 --> 00:15:34,830
Ma's here.
386
00:15:34,832 --> 00:15:36,365
Okay, thank you so much.
387
00:15:36,367 --> 00:15:38,000
Ma?
388
00:15:38,002 --> 00:15:39,802
I'm sorry I didn't
389
00:15:39,804 --> 00:15:42,405
take you to the airport.
I just want you to know
390
00:15:42,407 --> 00:15:45,308
that I'll never forgive myself
for being so selfish.
391
00:15:45,310 --> 00:15:46,809
And I promise
392
00:15:46,811 --> 00:15:48,644
to keep you close
393
00:15:48,646 --> 00:15:51,747
for the rest of my life.
394
00:15:51,749 --> 00:15:55,518
Oh, no. That thing's gonna
end up in my bedroom.
395
00:15:58,389 --> 00:16:00,256
That's it! We're done
with the questions.
396
00:16:00,258 --> 00:16:01,791
All that's left to do is
397
00:16:01,793 --> 00:16:02,758
stare into each other's eyes
398
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:04,226
for four minutes
without talking.
399
00:16:04,228 --> 00:16:06,062
Okay. Wait, hang on!
400
00:16:06,064 --> 00:16:08,631
Bladder check.
401
00:16:08,633 --> 00:16:11,634
We're good to go.
402
00:16:11,636 --> 00:16:13,869
You ready?
403
00:16:13,871 --> 00:16:14,937
Yes.
404
00:16:14,939 --> 00:16:17,106
And begin.
405
00:16:32,390 --> 00:16:35,224
This is kind of creepy.
406
00:16:35,226 --> 00:16:37,059
We're not supposed to
talk during this part.
407
00:16:37,061 --> 00:16:39,795
Sorry.
408
00:16:45,603 --> 00:16:48,504
This is kind of creepy.
409
00:16:48,506 --> 00:16:50,272
Do you want to stop?
410
00:16:50,274 --> 00:16:52,174
I know you have trouble
with eye contact.
411
00:16:52,176 --> 00:16:55,578
Well, you have a brown fleck
412
00:16:55,580 --> 00:16:57,813
in your right iris that looks
413
00:16:57,815 --> 00:17:01,350
like a Formula One race car.
414
00:17:01,352 --> 00:17:05,388
So... I'm just
concentrating on that.
415
00:17:05,390 --> 00:17:08,958
Plus, it's easier around people
that I'm comfortable with.
416
00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:12,628
Aw, sweetie,
I'm comfortable around you, too.
417
00:17:12,630 --> 00:17:15,398
Of course you are,
I'm warm and soothing.
418
00:17:17,068 --> 00:17:19,969
I'm like a human bowl
of tomato soup.
419
00:17:19,971 --> 00:17:23,005
I meant more like
a little brother.
420
00:17:23,007 --> 00:17:25,041
Oh.
421
00:17:25,043 --> 00:17:28,110
Well, I suppose I do think
of you as a sister.
422
00:17:29,847 --> 00:17:32,615
And sometimes, a mother.
423
00:17:32,617 --> 00:17:34,717
It's getting creepy again.
424
00:17:42,927 --> 00:17:43,959
What?
425
00:17:43,961 --> 00:17:45,961
Just thinking about the day
426
00:17:45,963 --> 00:17:47,329
I met you and Leonard.
427
00:17:47,331 --> 00:17:49,098
It was a Monday afternoon.
428
00:17:49,100 --> 00:17:52,368
You joined us for Indian food.
429
00:17:52,370 --> 00:17:54,703
Can you believe
it's been eight years?
430
00:17:54,705 --> 00:17:57,807
Yeah, and you're
still eating our food.
431
00:18:01,112 --> 00:18:02,578
I... can't remember a time
432
00:18:02,580 --> 00:18:05,314
you guys weren't in my life.
433
00:18:05,316 --> 00:18:07,983
I remember it perfectly.
434
00:18:09,053 --> 00:18:11,554
But I have an eidetic memory.
435
00:18:11,556 --> 00:18:14,090
If you're interested,
I also remember
436
00:18:14,092 --> 00:18:17,026
how much you owe us
for the food.
437
00:18:20,665 --> 00:18:23,199
That's it.
438
00:18:23,201 --> 00:18:24,467
That wasn't so bad.
439
00:18:24,469 --> 00:18:25,668
No, it wasn't.
440
00:18:25,670 --> 00:18:27,336
Uh, now let's tabulate
441
00:18:27,338 --> 00:18:28,637
the results of the experiment.
442
00:18:28,639 --> 00:18:30,339
Okay.
443
00:18:30,341 --> 00:18:34,343
I think it's safe to say that
you're not in love with me
444
00:18:34,345 --> 00:18:36,245
and I'm not in love with you.
445
00:18:36,247 --> 00:18:38,881
And psychology has once again
446
00:18:38,883 --> 00:18:42,718
proved itself the doofus
of the sciences.
447
00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:45,087
Well, maybe.
448
00:18:45,089 --> 00:18:47,022
But I'm still glad we did it.
449
00:18:47,024 --> 00:18:49,558
I do feel closer to you.
450
00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:52,528
And I, you.
451
00:18:52,530 --> 00:18:55,664
And yes, that's
how you say that.
452
00:18:57,401 --> 00:19:00,803
Yeah, so, given our
newfound intimacy,
453
00:19:00,805 --> 00:19:02,371
I'd say we have
454
00:19:02,373 --> 00:19:03,873
some hard choices to make.
455
00:19:03,875 --> 00:19:04,974
Like what?
456
00:19:04,976 --> 00:19:08,344
Gary Con--
do we fly or drive?
457
00:19:08,346 --> 00:19:09,745
Do we wear costumes?
458
00:19:09,747 --> 00:19:11,947
And if so...
459
00:19:11,949 --> 00:19:14,884
who gets to be Gary?
460
00:19:23,484 --> 00:19:26,151
Thank you for walking me home.
461
00:19:26,153 --> 00:19:28,687
I just want to make sure
you get there safe.
462
00:19:30,084 --> 00:19:33,553
Well, this is me.
463
00:19:34,822 --> 00:19:36,756
It's been a very
interesting evening.
464
00:19:36,758 --> 00:19:38,391
It really has.
465
00:19:41,296 --> 00:19:43,095
Surprise!
Aah!
466
00:19:46,188 --> 00:19:48,433
And after I let you be Gary!
467
00:19:50,235 --> 00:19:56,735
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man